"Diana, wake up."
Tyler's voice broke into my terrifying dream, and at the time I was thankful... until I realized it wasn't a dream. I really was torn away from Charlie.
"Hey." He kindly told me when I opened my eyes, and I just stared at him. "Daphne told me Bailey was being a dick, and we went looking for you."
I shrugged where I was lying. "It's fine." But it wasn't fine.
"Come on, I'll take you home." He said, so I escaped Erin's cozy bed and saw her come into her room. She hugged me and told me I needed to come over when the weekend hit again, and I said I would.
In the car with Tyler, I felt how bad he must've felt for being a part of this new horror I've had to live with. I could actually feel his sympathy as he drove me back home. It was really odd.
"Bailey hates me, doesn't he?" I asked. But hell, I knew my brother didn't hate me. Bailey himself might think he hated me, but the only reason why I said that was because I knew it would get to Tyler. And it did.
"Oh, Dye. He's your brother, of course he doesn't hate you. He's just..." I knew Tyler was trying to think of another word other than disappointed and I'm glad he did. "Just not happy with... you and Chance. It's just- we knew Chance when he was in college, that's all. We know how he hated women, so we thought he was just using you. Then we figured how vulnerable he is with feeling loved, and we figured it was you who was using him."
My eyes squeezed shut, and I felt offence cloud my heart. "You should've figured that we actually love eachother, and not that bullshit if you knew us so well."
Tyler was quiet for a second. "I'm sorry." He apologized, but I was too exhausted to react how I truly wanted to and just shrugged as he drove me home.
I did my homework, thinking of Charlie the entire time, and wondering what he was doing. Wondering if he was thinking our relationship was useless and deciding to end it with me as soon as possible. Then I told myself to stop thinking that.
I wanted to go back to Erin's, and to talk all night, then be silent- and understand eachother that way.
Through silence.
...
"Come on, these homework grades, guys. I coulda' sworn you had this unit down right away." Mr. Grant lectured to our class, and it wasn't as odd as it seemed to be. Sure, prior to his decent teaching he had never been even remotely caring when it came to our grades- I don't think- but now there he was giving us a speech about how we should've done better, but it felt normal.
I watched him closely, narrowing my eyes at his boring speech. I loved his annoying self.
"Mr. Grant," A girl raised her hand. "Do you tutor?"
I almost wanted to burst into laugher hearing her ask that. He wasn't the best tutor, but he wasn't the best teacher in the beginning either.
My man looked stumped. He stood there, not knowing what to say and his eyes met mine for a split second. That was when I raised an eyebrow and he looked away. "No." He replied.
I bit my amused lip.
"Do you know who does?"
"I'm sure Mr. Joseph does." He muttered when walking past me- me being the only one to hear him.
"What'd he say?" Someone whispered.
"I think he said something about Mr. Joseph." Ryan whispered back.
"Alright." Charlie's booming voice said, passing out papers individually and nonchalantly carressing my hand as he set my paper down. I settled a shiver. "This is practice, now use the textbooks if you don't understand, and if you can't freaking read, I guess ask me." He grumbled, and I know I wasn't the only one who wanted to laugh at him.
"Does that mean we can't talk?" I turned in my seat and asked him, seeing his mischievious eayes look away from mine.
"Shut up." He said, and I rolled my eyes as I turned around and started my work.
Class ended pretty quickly, and everyone was gone while he leaned against the whiteboard as I sat in my desk, staring up at him in a seductive way. He knew I was joking.
"You did good on the homework." He said.
"Mr. Grant, are you hitting on me?"
He laughed in confusion, and I missed that laugh. Just the previous day we had been acting miserable from being apart, and now it seemed we were closer. It was like we read each other's thoughts, and no one would stop that.
While we both we laughing, the door swung open, revealing my two idiot friends who I hated at the time.
"Diana, we're taking you home, let's go." Connor sternly said.
I said nothing, and he glared at Mr. Grant. "You're not allowed around this creep."
"Oh shut up Connor, you're not my fucking dad." I said as I turned back in my seat to face away from him.
"I'm not trying to be-!"
"Then fuck off because this is none of your business." Erin's voice said as she came from behind the two.
"You bitch, you fucking knew and never told us." Connor snapped.
"Really guys, chill out." Cole said to them, and it was obvious he and Tyler must've spoken, because his obviously seemed somewhat unsure about Connor's intention.
"Diana, we're leaving."
"Okay, bye." I said, knowing full well he meant for me to go with him.
"Cole, get her."
"Connor, will you just let it go? What's wrong with them seeing each other, really?"
I loved Cole then.
"Where the fuck is this coming from?" Connor growled at Cole.
"Did you eat today?" Charlie suddenly asked me when he walked over discreetly, it was like the arguement between Connor and I hadn't phazed him the slightest. I flushed for some reason, unsure why his caringness embarrassed me in front of my friends. It was a random question, after all.
I nodded.
"Think about it, Connor, why can't they be together?"
"Because it's wrong." Connor said back.
"What is?"
"Them. Him. He's a jerk, and she can't see him. Her brothers said so."
"Would her father say so?" Cole suddenly said, and I looked over at him, surprised.
"What?"
"Mr. Apollo, remember him? Do you think he would stop them from seeing each other? If Diana was happy, and he treated her right, would Mr. Apollo still make them stop seeing each other?"
"Why does it matter, he's dead." I suddenly said dryly, and Connor shook his head at me.
"I never said that-" Connor defended.
"You sure were thinkin it." Erin spat. I loved my friends. We knew poor Connor wasn't thinking it.
"I wasn't."
"Let's... just go. Come on, Erin will take Diana home." Cole calmly said, and I wanted to hug him as he found a way to haul Connor out the door.
I shared a smile with Erin. "Are you okay?" She asked me.
"I'm fine."
"Thanks, Erin." Charlie kind of mumbled, rubbing his neck uncomfortably. I smiled at him, too.
"No problem, Chance."
"We're still in school, don't call me that." Charlie grumbled.
"I guess that applies to me, as well, Mr. Grant?" I tilted my head and saw him glare at me. I was turning him on.
Erin laughed, not noticing. "Well, I'll be going now. You can just drop her off at my place and I'll take her home from there."
"See ya, Erin." I said as she waved and left.
I looked at Charlie.
"You need to stop giving me that look when I'm teaching, because one day I swear I'm gonna take you on that desk in front of everyone and not be able to control myself."
I flushed scarlet at his confession and released a laugh.
"You think I'm joking." He said in a warning tone.
I just stared at him as he sat on a desk a few desks away from me. He then stood and went to his desk, and sat down. "Come here." He spoke.
Oh how I've missed that...
I went to him, sitting on his lap abruptly and kissing him senseless. "I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you-" I spoke while his lips traveled on my neck.
"I love you more." He said.
"Don't start that." Then something came to mind, and I had to look away in embarrassment. It also made me want to laugh.
"What?" He took my face in his large hands and had me look at him, "What is it?"
"Do you still pointlessly hate James?" I asked.
"Well if you ask me, I kind of hate all of those bastards right now..." He had a curious glint in his eye. "Why?"
"Don't hate me." I immediately say.
"Baby, I already do hate you. Because I fucking love you."
"That was really lame."
"Whatever, tell me."
"Well, I kissed him-"
"What?" His shocked voice boomed, and he was too shocked to be angry at that moment, but then it sunk in. He turned red.
"Just to see if you were right!" I quickly said, clutching his collar as if I were on a horse, not wanting to get bucked off. "About how you thought he felt about me."
"And?" He seethed through gritted teeth.
I smiled at him. "And you idiot, he was so disgusted with me. Think about it, what if Savannah just randomly kissed you-"
"Holy shit, Diana, are you on drugs or something? That's fucking disgusting."
I laughed again, hugging him tightly as if he were my teddy bear. "See? That's exactly how James felt."
Charlie was quiet for a while. Then, "You kissed him." He said darkly, standing with me in his arms and dropping me on his desk. "You have that shithead on your lips." He said as his hands slid up my legs.
"You better get him off, then." I whispered to Charlie, and he did.
...
"Charlie?" I asked as we cuddled beside the flowers in his blooming garden- excuse me, in my blooming garden.
"Baby?"
"Why are you a teacher?"
The question struck him to silence. I wondered if he didn't know what to say. I wondered if he even knew why he was a teacher.
"And a calculus teacher, of all subjects." I chuckled lightly.
He seemed to be thinking deeply when replying, "Well... my... my dad liked calculus. He was an astrologist, so he was really good at it. When I was in highschool he'd help me out a lot, and I loved it when he taught me. It made me want to teach like he did. Though I've kinda always wanted to be an engineer."
He turned a little dark and unhappy at the reminder and I pulled him closer. "I wish I could thank him." I suddenly said, and Charlie looked at me funny.
"What?"
"I wish I could thank your father." I repeated, and he looked at me curiously.
"Why?"
"Because if it weren't for him, we would never have really known each other."
The thought processed through his mind and he nuzzled his head against mine. "You're the cutest thing on earth." He randomly said.
I laughed, and kissed his head, and dreaded the moment we had to get up again.
...
I was at Erin's house, and her father had just gotten home. "Diana." He said, catching my attention immediately while Erin was in the shower.
Holy shit,
I thought.
He said my name right.
"I heard you're father passed away." He solemnly said, and I turned uncomfortable.
"I'm really sorry."
Aurbey was sorry for my loss? What the hell? "Oh." I spoke dumbly. "Uh- thanks. Thank you."
He suddenly gave me a friendly hug, and it was weird. Erin's dad- sympathetic? Empathy? "I lost my dad, too." He pulled back and looked at me. "If there's anything you need, any financial help with anything, or if you need someone to scare away some boys, I'm here."
I was in shock.
Pure, absolute shock.
Erin's dad, indirectly offering to be a dad? My god, what the hell? "Thank you so much Mr. Norman. Thank you."
...
"Wait, what?" I had asked Charlie during lunch at school the next day. Chris would be picking me up straight after school.
Charlie had just told me he was planning on having lunch with his dad Sunday.
"I'm not sure about it. I don't think I'll go."
"What?" I asked in surprise.
"Well, I mean- what if he doesn't show up? It's very likely, Diana."
"You'll never know if you don't go." I lectured him, so shocked but satisfied with this news. "You have to go." I said.
The look on his face went stressed. He looked so unsure and his mind seemed to be having another war going on, and it made me sad to watch. "But... it's my dad. I don't know why he even wants to see me in the first place." He grumbled towards the end.
"Because you're his son."
"Then why fuck did he leave me?" He snapped in fury, and I didn't see it coming, so I flinched. Charlie shoved himself back in his chair and spun around, and then came back to his desk, burying his face in his hands. I ran my hand through his hair.
He calmed a second later, and looked at me in apology. "I'm sorry, Diana." He said, taking my hand and pulling my chair closer to him. "I didn't mean to snap." He muttered, lacing our hands together.
"It's fine."
"I'm nervous, y'know."
I nodded, trying to think about how it would be if my father left me intentionally, and then he wanted to speak with me again. It hurt too much to think about, and I ran my hand through Charlie's hair again.
"I won't know how to act around him." He said in frustration.
I didn't know what advice to give him, either. I wasn't sure if anything I'd say would be valid considering I had no idea how terrible he felt. That fact made me feel so far away from him, and I hated it.
"I'm sorry." I released one of my hands from his and wrapped my arms around him, feeling his head lean on me immediately. It felt good to know I was somewhat comforting to this big strong and angry man. It made me feel closer to him, even if I felt like a tiny stuffed animal to this man, I still felt close. It was also then while I felt his calming heart relax against me, his head nuzzling my own, when the door to his class room opened, revealing two guys who apologized awkwardly. I released Charlie, and he sat up.
"Uh, hi." Cole uncomfortably said. "Sorry, we'll, uh- we'll knock. Next time..."
"Instead you guys should maybe lock the door?" Connor uncomfortably suggested. That's when I knew he was on my side.
"What are you guys doing?" I asked curiously.
"I, I won't get in the way." He cleared his throat. "Of you two anymore. Cole talked me out of it." He mumbled, and I had to smile. "And plus," he shrugged. "Your dad would never keep you apart, if he knew you were happy. So, you know, why should I be making you sad. You're my best friend."
My heart bubbled in a fuzzy and such a warm way I had to stand and walk over to him and give Connor a huge hug. "I know, Connor." I said. "You guys have always been my best friends." I flushed, feeling like such a child.
I gave Cole a hug right after. "We can't let Mr. Hector's memory go down by being dicks. I miss that man."
I nodded, feeling better, because I missed him too.
"And uh- see ya Mr. Grant." My two friends awkwardly shook his hand and left quickly, and the handshake was probably the most amusing.
"They knew your father?" Was the first thing he asked me.
"Yeah, we've always been close friends. I used to go to concerts with Cole just because he'd give me free weed. But it was mainly free because he thought I was pretty." I joked and Charlie didn't seem to think it was that funny.
"We have your best friend's blessing." He said.
I smiled at him when I sat down, "We do."
"But not your brother's..."
That dragged my mood down a shit load, and I sighed sadly, resting my head on my arms on his desk, peeking up at him.
So manly. So beautiful and stern-looking. Was that why he was so hot to me? He looked intimidating but was so sweet he compared me to flowers? I reached out and stroked his stubbled chin.
"I'm sorry." He apologized. "I don't know why I brought it up when you just turned so happy." He said sadly.
"It's okay."
He sighed loudly, eyes locking with mine. "Diana Apollo, if you knew what you did to me."
I flushed. "Same."
He shook his head. "No, I mean it."
"So do I-"
"Do you know what I would do for you if you asked?"
I knew this answer, and I hated how I loved it.
"Anything, baby." He told me, and we kissed. "Anything."
Then the bell rang, and lunch ended.
...
I was at home with my brothers that day, and was up in the attic looking through things again that were my mothers. My dad's clothes had come in, and I was wearing his huge sweater that I used to wear when I was little as a dress and pretend to be him.
I found videos, and my excitement was so much. I went down to the guestroom and slipped the tape in, because I was still so furious with my brothers I avoided even looking at them all night, I watched it alone.
It was precious.
It was the video my brothers had talked about. The one where dad woke up and grabbed the camera, groggily waking up my brothers and saying something was going on in the kitchen. Soon he went down the stairs as well with my brothers as children following him down, and there my mother was. So beautiful in her large tshirt and sweatpants, with me sitting on a highchair, having this huge chubby grin on my face with my mom making me laugh, while she laughed as well. She was making me pancakes.
"Babe, what are you doing?" My dad's confused as hell voice asked my mother tiredly, and she looked up at the camera and laughed so beautifully, I covered my mouth as I laughed a little myself. But tears were sure to accompany it as well.
"My little Diana was hungry." She said, kissing my fat cheeks as I grabbed her face to kiss her cheek as well. She laughed again. Such a happy woman. I had to be at most two years old.
"So what? She's always hungry." Little Austin joked.
"Pancakes? Really, Ana? You could've just made her a sandwich." My dad chuckled.
"But she wanted pancakes!" My mom defended as I randomly giggled, reaching out to younger Bailey who was poking my belly.
I was watching the video in longing sobs, and smiles, and realized I was also on my period, so life sucked all over the place. The video went on with my mom picking me up and dancing around, the two of us laughing up a storm.
I couldn't remember a thing, and that hurt terribly.
I watched videos of my mom and dad talking to me, and I was around one so all that came out of my mouth of a bunch of gibberish, so my parents laughed most of the time. They had videos of me as a three year old chasing my brothers around bases on a baseball field and my hair bouncing while I laughed the entire time. I found that I laughed a lot. There were so many videos, but I couldn't finish them because while curled up on the floor of the guestroom, Chris came in and consoled my crying, turned off the videos of my parents and us and told me to stop hurting myself. He gave me a hug, and carried me to my room.
Austin and Bailey asked what was wrong, but the calm did not last... Because pretty soon there was a banging at my door, and black cars lined up all around the culdasac where I lived, and many people lined up behind my door asking for me. I didn't know this, so while the banging went on I wiped my face, and went downstairs, demanding to know why the hell my brothers didn't get the door.
That was a mistake.
"Diana! Diana Apollo! Tell me, why did Andy Carl break it off with you?"
"She broke it off with him, don't you know? Diana, tell us why you did it!"
"Were you just using him?"
"Was he just using you?"
I was blinded by the sudden flash of cameras as I quickly tried shutting the door, but they were pushing it open and demanding so many questions from me.
"Is it true you're only a sophomore in high school?"
"How can that possibly be true? She's a woman! Miss Apollo, why did you choose to make Andy Carl cry when ending it between-"
"Miss Apollo, why did you reject giving him your hand in marriage-"
"Miss Apollo, was it the money?"
"Miss Apollo, was it someone else?"
"Miss Apollo-"
"Miss Apollo-"
"Miss Apollo!-"
"Please go away." I said, pushing at the door as my brothers came to save the day.
Bailey grabbed me away from the photographer's view, and Austin and Chris shouted at them to get the fuck off our property and said they were calling the police.