It had been two months since Allie had really talked to Colson. For the first couple of weeks it was frequent FaceTime calls every chance he had, phone calls every morning and every night, and little I love you reminders in texts.
Then he got really busy and the FaceTime calls stopped. It got to the point where he would only call her before he went to bed, having to rush every morning to get something done on time. His I love you reminder texts still came, just less often.
Allie felt grateful that even though he was super busy, he still attempted to at least make some time for her. Even if the conversations were short. She couldn't help but feel sad, missing the days where she could talk to him for hours.
She would never tell him this, too afraid that he would do something stupid that she didn't even want him to do. He had to be there, she understood that. His job was his life before she came into it, it should come first. No matter how hard it was to not have him.
She was sitting on her couch, bottle of wine in hand, with Supernatural playing on Netflix. Ryker was sound asleep in his bed, leaving her free to mope in peace. She couldn't help but check her phone to find zero notifications.
She tossed her phone back down and brought the bottle of wine to her lips, in the middle of taking a large sip when she heard light knocking on her door. She got up from the couch and went to unlock the door before pulling it open to reveal Rena.
"I just came to check on you. Thought you might want some company." She had such a friendly looking smile, one you couldn't say no to. Even if it was ten o'clock at night. Allie stepped aside and allowed her to come inside. She really did need someone to talk to.
"Oh, shit. You like Supernatural?" Rena froze when she saw Deans face on Allie's flatscreen. Rena turned to face Allie with a bright smile, her finger pointing at the TV. "Dean is the hottest guy alive."
Allie had found someone she could actually become friends with. This was by far her favorite show. "I don't know. I kind of prefer Sam." Rena's eyes got wide when Allie said this, and you could tell the friendship had already started.
"This works out perfectly. Consider us best friends." Rena plopped down onto Allie's couch and patted the seat next to her. Maybe this could get her mind off of Colson for a while. The two boyfriendless best friends.
"How are you holding up? Are you doing okay?" Allie wanted to ask how many times she had heard from Rook but stopped herself from taking on that kind of stress.
"I mean, I miss him a lot but I'm doing okay." Allie was quick to take another sip of her wine before offering Rena the bottle. "Ryker says his name a lot. Wants to talk to him every time he calls. Has to have Colson tell him goodnight before he hangs up."
Rena could tell that this was affecting Allie more than she wanted to admit to herself. She picked up the remote and paused the show before she turned to face Allie on the couch. "You know it's okay to miss him right? Just because he has an obligation doesn't mean you have to hide your feelings."
"I don't want to risk him wanting to come home for us. I want him to do what he's supposed to do." Rena held up a hand to stop her before she could say anything else. She wanted to help Allie understand that she was just as valid as him.
"There's a difference between expressing your feelings about missing him and making him believe you're completely fine without him." Allie never thought about it that way. Maybe that's why he wasn't talking as much, he didn't think he had to.
"I miss Rook too. Every single minute he's gone. I won't admit that to him because we aren't that type of couple if you know what I mean? We aren't lovey dovey like you and Colson." Rena was the type to really talk, especially when she was drinking.
"Rook is my best friend and he tells me to fuck off when I tell him I love him if that helps." Allie snorted at the thought, unable to stop giggling. Rena smiled, knowing she at least made Allie laugh through this.
"Can I be honest with you about something?" Allie glanced over at Rena who nodded her head and waited for Allie to continue. "I have this thought sometimes that triggers my anxiety. I keep thinking that Colson will find someone else. Someone that's part of his lifestyle."
Rena couldn't believe what she was hearing. She understood the worry, she herself was in the same position with Rook. She just didn't know Allie felt the same way she felt. "I feel the same way about Rook. I keep telling myself I have to trust him until he gives me a reason not to."
Colson never gave Allie a reason to not trust him. She shouldn't even have these thoughts but she couldn't help it. When comparing someone like her to someone famous, it's not exactly a hard choice to make. If you're not thinking with your heart.
"I don't think he would really do that to us, but I'm not going to let myself be completely blindsided again just in case." Allie thought it was embarrassing when it caught you by surprise. It made her feel like a fool.
"Well, cheers to that." Rena held up the wine bottle and took a sip before handing it over to Allie who followed suit. She heard her phone ding and picked it up to reveal a new text message from Colson.
Colson: hey, are you still awake?