No apologies
He'll never see you cry
Chapter 15 ~ I Knew You Were Trouble
Liam Slater
It was almost noon when I arrived at Xavier's house.
He was out running errands, but he told me to use the spare key under the welcome mat to get in and make myself at home. Ever since I opened up about Scotty, I felt as though I grew a personal connection with Xavier. One that wasn't quite professional, but heartwarming nonetheless.
I had been in his house enough times to know exactly where he kept his bottled water, but I didn't feel comfortable enough raiding his pantry without his presence. Instead, I decided to sit on one of the stools near the kitchen island and wait for his return.
As I waited, I scrolled through my text messages with Max. I thought we were on good terms now that I explained everything to him, but he wasn't answering any of my texts or calls.
I didn't know how long I sat for and I couldn't remember how long Xavier said he would be, so I was utterly confused when I heard weird sounds coming from upstairs. It was a series of thuds followed by loud groaning.
I furrowed my brows together. I really didn't want to intrude on whatever "errand" Xavier claimed to be running, but I didn't want to be waiting for hours either.
I pulled out my phone and sent him a quick text.
I thought you said you weren't home.
He responded only seconds later.
I'm not.
I stared blankly at the text message as my brows drew together in confusion. I became more alert when I heard the obnoxiously loud thudding sound again. Curiosity got the best of me when I found myself inching off the stool and slowly following the origin on the noise. I knew it wasn't exactly a smart move, because I had no idea what I was up against, but I couldn't help myself.
As I neared the head of the stairs, the noise grew louder. Taking cautious steps and being careful not to give my presence away, I continued onto the bedroom at the end of the hallway. Once I was close enough, I pressed my ear against the closed door.
"Oh, fuck! Fuck me harder!"
I didn't recognize the voice, but I knew it certainly wasn't Xavier's.
I let out an involuntary gasp and stepped away from the door like it had just burned me. It was Xavier's husband - it had to be - and he was cheating on him! How dare he?!
I shook my head in disbelief and continued to walk backward until my back brushed against the banister and I darted down the stairs as fast as I could to get away from the atrocity occurring upstairs. As soon as I hit the bottom, I paced around in a small circle, running my hands through my air and breathing heavily in the process.
How could anyone cheat on Xavier? He was handsome, smart, and kind. How could that son of bitch do that to him?
I already knew what I had to do. It would hurt him, maybe, but it was better that letting him believe his marriage was healthy.
I had been sitting on the sofa for ten minutes when Xavier's husband finally made an appearance by jogging down the stairs, wearing nothing but a pair of loose fitting sweat pants. When his eyes landed on me, he stopped in his tracks. "What are you doing here?"
I had seen him enough times by now every time I came to visit, but I always thought he was a loving husband. He was nothing but a cheater.
"Xavier gave me a key," I responded, dryly.
He kept his skeptical gaze on me. "Why would he do that?"
"Because he trusts me," I retaliated.
Dante folded his toned, warm brown arms across his chest. "I'll need to have a talk with him about that."
I continued, "Just like he trusts you not to cheat on him."
He wasn't nearly as surprised as I thought he would be. He didn't try to deny it or beg me to keep it a secret. Of all things he could possibly do, he laughed. "Don't talk about things you don't understand."
"Things I don't understand?" I questioned him. "I understand that you're unfaithful to Xavier!"
He screwed his face in disgust. "Stop calling him that. It's weird."
That only fueled my anger more. I promptly stood from my seat and closed the gap between us. "Do you not care about him at all?"
He looked alarmed at my accusation. "Of course I care about him."
I glared at him incredulously. "Then why the hell are you cheating on him? He'll be here any minute now and I won't hesitate in telling him all about your little affair!"
In that instant, his eyes narrowed and he grabbed a hold of the collar of my shirt, pushing me roughly against the nearest wall. "You are not going to tell him."
I clenched my jaw tightly. "Oh, yeah? Try me."
His deep brown eyes burned holes into mine. "He has enough going on right now and if you devastate him, I'm going to personally hand deliver your balls."
Despite my growing hatred towards the man, I still found myself asking, "What are you talking about?"
Slowly, he released his grip on me. "His mother died."
I felt my heart stop in my chest. "What? When? Why didn't he tell me?"
"Xavier likes to pretend that nothing bothers him. Perks of being a therapist, I guess."
As much as I wanted to expose the douche bag for what he really was, I didn't want to add any more misery onto Xavier's pre-existing condition. Here was was trying to help me get over Scotty's death, when he had to deal with his own grief.
The sound of keys turning into the lock broke me out of my thoughts. Dante gave me a pleading look, and I sighed.
"For the record," I pointed out, "I'm not the one devastating him."
Dante's smug grin returned and he gave me a short nod. "Thanks, kid."
The front door propped open and Xavier walked in carrying two handfuls of groceries. When he caught sight of Dante, his eyes lit up. "Hey, baby, I didn't know you were here." He glanced at me. "Good afternoon, Liam."
I faked a smile.
Dante rushed to his side to help him with his bags. "I'm actually going to be stepping out in a few."
"Well, before you do, I want to make sure that you remember we're going to Carla's party tomorrow night."
His eyebrows rose. "Carla? Which one?"
Xavier ventured off into the kitchen and began to unpack the groceries. "The one who gave us that lovely photo case."
Dante rubbed the back of his neck as he racked his brain, trying to remember. "The one I hate?"
Xavier smiled. "Yes, that one."
"I thought you cancelled!"
"I did," Xavier clarified, "but I thought better of it. I mean, she's so supportive of us. She helped plan our wedding!"
Dante was fuming. "And she helped destroy it, too!"
Xavier placed a hand on his hip and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration, sighing. "Carla suffers from manic-depressive disorder. You can't blame her for acting out sometimes. We're going, and that's final."
Dante's lips curled into a small smile as he leaned into Xavier's ear. "Damn, I love it when you get demanding." He snaked an arm around his waist and pulled him into a brief kiss. "Anyway, I should probably head out. I'll see you tonight."
As Dante padded towards the front door, Xavier smiled. "Love you!" He called out, but Dante was already gone before he could respond. He shifted his attention to me. "You hungry? I bought cake."
"No, not hungry." I wanted to tell him. I had to tell him. Even though he was grieving his mother's loss, it wasn't fair for him to find comfort in someone who didn't even care about him.
"All right. Is there anything specific you wanted to talk about today?"
"No." I couldn't even remember the reason why I came here. All I could think about was how much of a jerk Dante was.
He began to store the groceries in their rightful places. "Okay, well give me a minute. I have to make a phone call and then, I have-"
"Do you love him?" I blurted out.
Xavier whipped around and gave me a puzzled look. "Excuse me?"
"Do you love him? Your husband."
He scoffed. "I wouldn't have married him if I didn't."
How could I say this? How could I make it sound less horrible than it was? How could I spare his impending heartbreak?
I couldn't think about the consequences. I had to tell him. "He's cheating on you."
Xavier's cheery smile faded in a second and his eyes went wide. "What?"
"Look, I didn't want to tell you but I came here and he was having sex with someone and I thought it was you, but it wasn't. He threatened me not to tell you but I couldn't not tell you. I mean, he's an asshole, isn't he? Why would you stay with someone like that?"
A wave of silence washed over us as Xavier's gaze dropped to the floor. He didn't make an effort to say anything aside from looking at the tiled kitchen floor absentmindedly.
After a moment of palpable silence, he heaved a sigh. "I know," he admitted.
I knitted my brows together. "You know?"
"Yes, Liam, I know all about Dante's affairs."
I gasped, my eyes widening as my head snapped up to look at him. "I don't understand."
Xavier released yet another sigh as he poured himself a glass of water. I could tell it was a touchy subject to talk about based on the way his fingers were nervously tapping against the granite counter top. He took one long gulp of his water and finally met my gaze when he set the glass down.
"Dante has a problem with being monogamous. He's addicted to sex. I've tried to wean him off it, but it's obvious that hasn't worked, right?" He let out a dry, bitter laugh and swallowed it down with another sip of water.
There was a sad, distant look in his ice blue eyes. He was hurting aside, but he was trying to hide it. "
"Why don't you find someone who wants to be monogamous?" I found myself asking.
He shrugged, his lips twitching into a smile. "I can't imagine being with anyone else other than Dante. If he's happy, then I'm happy."
"But you're not happy," I noted.
Xavier's smile remained plastered on his face, but it looked more forced by the second. "Way to psychoanalyze me."
I didn't know what compelled me to do what I did, but something told me I had to be there for him just like he was always there for me. I slowly walked to his side and wrapped my arms around him. His body stiffened from the contact, but he let himself melt into the embrace.
"I may not be a therapist, but I know you don't deserve him. You deserve so much more."
He whimpered a little, deep in thought. "I have a strict rule about hugging my clients, you know."
"Shut up and enjoy it," I snapped playfully as I tightened my hold on him.
After a long moment of us just standing there, hugging, I started to notice things I didn't really notice before. Like how soft and silky his hair was, how he smelled like fresh strawberries, and how toned his arms were.
He must've noticed that our hug lasted a lot longer than it should have because he started to pull away. "Thank you for that, Liam, but maybe we should cancel our session for today."
I frowned. "Why?"
"I'm not really in the mood to do this right now." He stepped away from me as I took a step forward. "I hope you can understand."
My brows tugged together in confusion. "Xavier..."
The corners of his lips twitched into a smile as he placed his hands on my back and began to usher me out of the house. "And maybe you should start calling me Dr. Reis from now on," he suggested. "It's more professional that way."
"B-but-"
He had already pushed me onto the wooden porch before I could utter a single word. "Have a great day, Mr. Slater."
"Xavier!"
He flashed me a quick smile before slamming the door in my face, leaving me to be impeccably confused.
**
I had been driving around for about twenty minutes or so when I found myself standing outside of Max's house. I didn't really know how I got here or why I decided to come here, but not being able to read Max's usually fun and flirtatious text messages bothered me. Ever since Scotty was taken away from me so quickly, I realized I was being extra protective of Max in hopes he wouldn't share the same fate.
Especially since Xavier rushed me out of his house faster than I could blink, and Marcy was probably standing guard outside my house, Max's house seemed like a good place to be.
I didn't exactly prepare myself to engage in conversation with Max's parents, so I was utterly surprised when his dad answered the door with a menacing look on his face.
"Who are you?" He spat. It sounded more like a demand than a question.
"Oh, um, I'm Liam." I attempted to smile, but I was sure it looked forced. "I'm Max's friend from school."
He sized me up with his critical gaze and cold expression. He reminded me of a rock. "Max is grounded. He is not allowed to have any friends over."
I got the feeling that he thought I was one of Max's no-good boyfriends. "I know, but we have a project to finish."
He raised an eyebrow. "Project?"
I cleared my throat. "Yeah, I tried to get my girlfriend to help me but it's clear Max has all the brains."
"Girlfriend?" He repeated, becoming interested. "You have a girlfriend?"
I smiled. "Yes, I do."
He finally let down his guard and sighed. "All right. Max is upstairs in his room."
"Thank you." I tipped my head in gratitude as he opened the door wider, allowing me to breeze past him and into the narrow foyer. The scent of cinnamon invaded my nostrils as I passed the kitchen and continued up the stairs. As soon as I reached the top, I scanned the hallway in search of Max's bedroom. A smile broke onto my face when I saw the door labelled with Max's name.
I debated over whether I should knock or not, but I decided we were too acquainted for pleasantries. Twisting the knob slightly, I pushed open the door.
"Whoever you are, go away," Max snapped as soon as I stepped into the room.
"It's me."
He spun around quickly when he recognized my voice and his eyes widened in shock. I noticed there was a faint purple bruise covering his left eye and the side of his face, trailing down to his neck. As soon as he became aware of his bruises, he grabbed the nearest pillow and held it up to his face.
"What are you doing here!" He shouted into the pillow. "You're not supposed to be here."
"Max," I whispered, but it was barely audible. "What happened to your face?" I had already made my way across the room and sat next to him on the bed.
"No," he objected. "No, you can't be here. You need to leave."
I grabbed onto the pillow and ripped it out of his hands. "Max!"
His expression turned into something strange, and he looked kind of worried. His dark eyebrows furrowed with his lips parted slightly and he collapsed onto the bed, burying his face in his pillows. "Don't look at me!"
Against my will, my lips curled into smile. I reached down to run my hand along the groove of his back. "Max, please tell me what's going on."
"No, no, no," he murmured into the pillow. "She's going to kill me."
"Who?" I inquired. "Tell me."
He shook his head. "You need to leave," he ordered. "Please, leave."
"I'm not leaving."
Max sat up straight suddenly, placed his hands on my chest, and shoved me. "Go away!"
He wasn't strong enough to move me, but he continued to try until I wrapped my hands around his wrists to restrain him. "Max, you're not getting rid of me until you tell me what happened."
He blinked once, twice, then looked away. "I don't know," he admitted. "I don't know what happened. Some crazy girl did this to me. She said I had to stay away from you, but I didn't even know who she was."
I cocked my head to the side. "What girl? What did she look like?"
He scratched the back of his head as he racked his brain, trying to remember. "Uh, I guess she was white. She had dark hair and brown eyes. She was really pretty actually, if she wasn't threatening to kill me."
My heart sunk to my knees in that very moment. Everything he was describing summed Marcy up perfectly. Was she crazy enough to act out violently because she couldn't get what she wanted?
"Marcy," I said through gritted teeth.
"You know her?"
Unfortunately. "She used to be my friend."
"Your friend?" Max's eyes bulged out of their sockets. "How could you be friends with her!"
I shook my head. "It's a long story."
Max tried to smile but the pain was too unbearable, so he sighed. "I'm glad you're here. I missed you."
I returned the smile. "I missed you, too."
A flush of color rushed to his cheeks. "C-can I, um, can I k-kiss you?"
"Are you sure that it's not going to hurt?" I countered with a cocky grin.
He shrugged. "It will, but it's worth it."
Smiling back at him, I softly caressed the side of his face with my hand and gently tilted his chin up with my thumb. I leaned in slowly and placed a quick, chaste kiss on his lips. When I pulled away, he leaned into me, craving more.
"You're beautiful, Max," I whispered to him, "and don't let anyone tell you any different."
He managed to pull his lips into a full-on grin without wincing. His arms snaked around my neck, closing the gap between us. He was just inches away from kissing me, but he stopped to say, "I love you."
My heart started pounding loudly in my chest. The last time I heard those words, it was coming from Scotty's mouth. Even though I cared strongly for Max, I knew what we had wasn't quite love. It was nothing like what Scotty and I had, but before I could think too much into it, we were kissing again.
I didn't know what we were or what this was.
All I knew was that I loved every second of it.
**
a/n: For all of you who read my message saying I wasn't going to update this weekend, well, I lied. I couldn't stray away from my update once a week schedule, so I did. You're welcome!
I'm going to go out on a limb here ... But what do you guys think of Liam x Xavier? It's a totally theoretical question, so it doesn't mean that it's going to actually happen.
Yay for kisses! And yay for the gif of Xavier to the side!
If you really enjoyed this chapter, then please take two seconds to comment and vote. That'd be awesome sauce.
Until next time,
Lara <3