Today I went to school and couldn’t tell Tumi about the pregnancy, I was too embarrassed to tell her. After school, we walked home together like we always do
Tumi: School is so tiring, can it be December already
Me: I know right
Tumi: Anyway, how are things between you and Ashley?
Me: They are awesome, I have the best boyfriend ever
Tumi: I can tell by your weight that you are happy
Me: Whatever!
Tumi: Relax I’m just joking
Me: It’s fine Tumi
Tumi: What’s wrong with you Nosipho? You can’t seem to take a joke these days
Me: It’s nothing
Tumi: No, you are lying, something is wrong, did you and Ashley fight?
Me: No
Tumi: Then what is it? Are you pregnant?
Me: No! hell no, why would you even think of something like that?
Tumi: For your sake, I hope you are not
That conversation made me feel worse, this whole thing is just too much, maybe I should go ahead with the abortion without telling Ashley and then lie to him and say I miscarried
Me: And how are things between you and Tumisho?
Tumi: Oh friend, I have never been this happy in my entire life, it’s not just about sex, I really love that guy
Me: I’m happy that you are happy friend, you deserve all the happiness in the world
Tumi: Thank you friend
When I got home I went straight to my room and locked myself in and cried, how did I get myself in this mess? if only I followed my mom’s “no dating and no sex” rules then I wouldn’t be here, this is probably the hardest thing I have ever went through in my life, it seems like there isn’t a right decision, abortion seems cruel, keeping the baby will hurt my mom so much, maybe the best option is to commit suicide.