'are we ready for this?' this thought rang through maya's mind, 'does she want this?'
'i want to do it, but now i'm...scared?' paige looks at the ceiling awkwardly when maya put her down on the bed.
"paige, paige- what's the matter? are you okay?"
she takes in a few deep breaths before revealing to maya that she was afraid. "that's okay...we don't have to do anything else if you don't want to, baby." maya assured.
"no, i want to, but i...don't know why i'm scared to go for it."
maya wraps an arm around her, "you wanna talk? about it?"
"well, i just- i don't know. something is holding me back. i guess part of me's scared that i can't satisfy you. like- i don't know what to do to make you feel...good. and i'm scared that i would feel guilty afterwards and start spiralling,"
"yeah, i don't think i know much about that too. i guess we'll both just learn as we go." maya told her, "but, let's just focus on what you wanna do right now?"
"i kinda just wanna cuddle."
"sounds good to me." maya laughs, the sound of that like was music to paige's ears.
"and watch a show?"
"sure, grab your laptop- we'll watch something." paige then got over to her desk to get her laptop and crawled back under the covers beside maya, "are you sure it's okay that we didn't-"
"yeah, paige. don't worry about that, kay?" maya pecks her lips.
paige nodded, "kay."
"come 'ere." maya snuggled closer to her as they started browsing for a show to watch, "how bout this?"
"seinfeld? sure. but don't you have to go h-"
"my mom and shawn aren't even home. don't worry about it." maya explained, "they're out of down for like three days for 'alone time'."
"oh, where did they go?"
"hawaii." maya replies, "ah, they deserve the time alone. we live in a small place, and i don't think they get enough privacy, to be honest."
"that reminds me...rosa sure's lost her privacy with me here." paige chuckles humourlessly.
.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .
"i'm just saying though, like can you imagine? if she were to bring a date home? like what, they'd just go to the date's place all the time or go to a hotel?"
"honey, breathe. she'll talk to you if it ever happens...most likely. she's straightforward. what you're feeling, yes, okay. i get that, but don't let it take over all of your mind."
"i...you're right. yeah, i shouldn't keep thinking about it. i shouldn't control things i can't control."
maya gave wraps her arm around paige tighter, then leaned her head against paige's next.
"i adore you." maya said with a chuckle, pressing a kiss on the crown of her girlfriend's head.
"i just adore you too." paige smiled, glancing up at maya. their eyes met for a brief moment, and they both felt those butterflies in their stomachs. this feeling never gets old for them...as much as they wished it didn't make their stomachs feel this weird, they still liked their little moments like this one where they seemingly fall even more in love with each other.
"is it okay if i vent about something to you, maya?" paige asks softly, "it's about something that happened at the audition."
"sure, baby. i'm all ears." maya agreed quickly, nodding as she spoke. she was honestly just watching the show while fiddling with her own fingers and paige's. but she'd now paused the video and was focused on giving paige her full attention.
"we talked about the script...right? the part about wendla asking melchoir to beat her? i know i said that it probably would not bother me. but it did, and i'm not entirely sure why." paige began, letting out a sigh, maybe it was the stress, maybe it was the fact that the teacher used a ruler and smacked the desk so the sound kinda just did it for me and i started to get flashbacks and almost ran outta that room."
maya kept quiet and just listened.
"but thankfully, i got through the whole scene and the singing of the song. so whatever got me through that, i'm so glad, but i usually would just quite literally stop working- like my mind would just shut off."
as maya listened she'd always look at paige, even though paige would just be looking in front of her.
"okay, i'm done." paige laughed wryly, "how was your day?"
"well, you spent most of it with me...so i'm feeling pretty good, bun. my shift at the bakery was not as bad as i thought- because it was only a few hours..." maya combs a hand through paige's hair without much thought, "though i think topanga was being easy on me because i definitely screwed up making the drinks like a couple times."
"it was great. i had a good day."
"my day was okay. the audition made a good day into an okay day." paige pouted.
"you did good, though, i'm sure. cordelia said your voice was beautiful- that's a big deal compliment right there." maya said back, "and she's right because i love the sound of your voice- it's like music to my ears."
"wow."
"hm?"
"nothin'. it's just...wow, i can't believe i'm so lucky. to have you in my life with me."
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"paige?"
"ms. moran. yes?" paige nearly lets out a gasp.
"is this keychain yours?" ms. moran held it up.
"oh." paige's eyes widen, "yes, it's mine. thank you! i didn't even realise it fell off."
"oh- no worries, darling. here you go." ms. moran handed the keychain over with a smile on her face, "i just put up the cast list, by the way."
"oh? okay, i'm on my way to go check it out. have a good day, ms. moran."
"you too, paige."
as the teacher departs, paige feels her heart start to pound in her chest and she could swear her palms were also sweaty. when farkle tapped on her shoulder, she nearly screamed. but all that came out of her mouth was a squeak.
"good...morning to you, too...?"
"i'm so nervous. the cast list is out, farkle." she spoke so quickly that he could barely understand her.
"okay, cast list is out. let's go check it out together." farkle furrows his brows together for a moment, "also...what's that in your hand?"
"what? oh- um- i dropped it on the floor earlier and ms. moran gave it back to me. then she told me she just put the list up. so- um."
"breathe, my friend." farkle instructed, "breathe."
thanks to farkle's reminded, she did compose herself somewhat.
"where's maya?"
"she wanted to eat something before class since we got here early and i came to get a textbook from my locker."
"ohh."
paige sighs shakily, "maya's just texted me saying the cast list is up. let's get to the cafeteria."
when maya saw them approach the cafeteria, she ran over to both of them excitedly. "you ready?"
paige chuckled sarcastically, "no...not really."
"c'mon, c'mon." maya took her wrist and pulled her over to the bulletin board.
although slightly amused, farkle told them, "careful. guys."
maya seemed to be staring at the piece of paper pinned onto the board, head tilting. "wait- there's...another sheet of paper below it." maya pointed out, flipping the cast list up.
"this one says...approved by cordelia moran and she signed it."
"then what is this?"
"i think someone put this one on top of the one ms. moran approved and signed."
"i was here the whole time! i did not see-" maya says.
only now was when students started streaming into the cafeteria with their friends.
"okay, but could you have seen someone around here and didn't think much of it?"
"maybe, i...someone. oh, akela was a couple tables behind. but she was doing homework or something?"
"let's just make it easy. is that ms. moran?" maya pointed at the teacher, "go ask her."
"me?" paige was nervous, still recovering from her previous interaction with the teacher.
"okay." paige quickly walks over, "ms. moran? there's two sheets of paper pinned together on the bulletin board where the cast list goes."
"two sheets?" ms. moran asks while getting her water bottle out from the vending machine slot.
ms. moran walks over to the bulletin with paige, "oh, the list i put up was printed on purple paper. i did not put this one up- let me get rid of that because that's not supposed to be there." she removes the sheet and crumples it into a ball, "thanks for telling me. congratulations on the role, paige."
once the teacher left, farkle commented, "she's so...chill?"
"but then she also has this serious vibe for sure." maya said, "and hey, did you hear what she said?"
"you're gonna be wendla in the play, paige." farkle read the sheet quickly.
.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .
"i'm sorry for coming to your workplace- but i couldn't wait. i got the part!" she whisper-shouted.
"you did?" rosa leaned down, trying not to show her emotions to the whole bullpen, "mija, i'm so proud of you and so happy for you."
paige nodded excitedly, squealing, "thanks, mami."
rosa heard that- paige just called her mom.
rosa just smiled right then and there as she sat up straight. she couldn't care less.
"i'd better go and let you get back to work."
"okay, honey. i'll see you at home?"
"of course." paige nodded, still smiling as she gave rosa a hug.
"ooh, hugging, rosa?" jake teased.
"jake." rosa shot him a glare.
"i mean...what? nothing..."
"oh, before i go...can maya join us for dinner?"
"sure, mija." rosa ignores her fellow detective and just responded to paige.
paige nodded again, "great! i'll just be at home till you get home. maya has a shift at the bakery."
"i'll get dinner!" rosa called after her.
while on her elevator ride back down to the first floor, her phone buzzed.
'huh. we haven't talked in...awhile and then i just suddenly get a text from her?'
.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .
UNEDITED. published: tuesday, 19 july 2022