Arianna
"Tell me, Arianna, how was life at your old house?", Vince asked calmly.
I froze in my place, listening to his question.
Why is he asking me that?
Does he know I was abused?
What should I tell him?
Do I say everything was okay?
Do I trust them enough to tell them the truth?
Can I bring myself to say the truth?
A certain memory kept running in my brain. Once when I told a teacher at school that my parents are hitting me at home, mom and dad were called to school to speak with the teacher. They lied smoothly saying they didn't fulfill my wish and that's why I was acting out. They gave me a glare telling me to go with their story. I was terrified to the core so I accepted their story. The teacher was highly disappointed and scolded me for telling lies.
After going home, mom and dad took turns in hitting me. They made sure not to hit at places, that might be visible to others. I apologized and begged them to stop hitting, but they didn't listen. They hit even more harder when I pleaded them to stop.
It didn't stop with one day. For four days, every evening, they hit me till I blacked out. They also starved me for four days, with nothing but water. I couldn't bear it anymore and pleaded them to stop, saying I would never ever talk about it to anyone. They hit me one last time and let go of the punishment.
They taught me a lesson I would remember for a lifetime.
The worse part is, the teacher to whom I told about the abuse, told some other teachers how I lied about my own parents and they started considering me a liar. They never gave me a free pass for even the small mistakes. They used to give me detention, leading to more punishment at home.
If I thought my life was bad, it turned into hell after that incident. I could neither be at peace at home nor at school. I never again went against their rules after that.
But that didn't stop the punishments. They used to abuse me for the smallest of the mistakes, like forgetting to polish their shoes. At school, people made fun of me and always called me a freak for not having friends and not talking to anyone. The verbal abuse at school and the physical and emotional abuse at home had turned my life into a literal hell.
It was a living hell.
I flinched hard when a pair of hands hugged me tight, rubbing my back continuously. I could hear muffled voices of someone speaking, but I couldn't make out what they were saying. It was getting hard to breathe each passing second.
I was trying to breathe but my body was not supporting. I couldn't move my limbs and everything looked blur. Someone hugged me from the other side too and started rubbing my hands. I could hear multiple voices, but they were not clear. Even my vision was getting more and more blur.
"Arianna!", I heard someone shouting my name before I completely blacked out.
Vince
After I asked Arianna about her old house, I didn't expect her to say the entire truth. I know it is very hard to talk about abuse, but I at least wanted her to accept that she was abused.
If she accepts that she was abused at her old house, I would have slowly suggested her to attend therapy. It would help her to overcome her fears and anxiety. She would be able to let go of the trauma and live to the fullest without any burden.
After I asked the question, Arianna froze in her place and didn't say anything. I expected that. It isn't that easy to talk about a traumatic past.
I, better than anyone, know that!
So, I wasn't in a rush. I decided to wait as long as she takes. Even if it's going to take a couple of hours, I'm fine with that.
I thought I should wait for some more time to bring this topic up, but after what Lina told me today, I decided it is better to deal with it as early as possible. If it is delayed for too long, she will have to go through that all alone. If she tells us now, we can help her along with a therapist.
After they came home after school, Lina walked right into my office.
Flashback
I was going through some files and instructing John about what to do.
"Boss, the territory at the north seems to have dist-", John was cut off by opening of the door.
The door was slammed open. I thought it would be one of my brothers as only they do such things and live to tell the tale. As I expected it was Theo.
"We need to talk. It's urgent.", Lina said barging into the office from behind Theo.
I frowned.
What is she doing here?
I clearly told she is not allowed in this part of the house. And why did Theo accept to bring her here?
"Hello John.", Lina greeted John with a smile and he nodded.
Typical Angelina!
I dismissed John and he walked away closing the door. Theo came and sat in one of the two chairs opposite to me. Lina was still standing, looking all tensed.
"What is it?", I asked calmly.
Theo shrugged and looked at her. This reason better be good, otherwise both Theo and Lina will face consequences. Lina for walking into this part of the house and Theo for allowing her.
Lina took a deep breath and looked at me. One look at her and I understood it was very serious.
"Today, when we were waiting outside the principal's office, Anna got all worked up and she was on the verge of a panic attack. She was trembling badly and tears were flowing continuously from her eyes.", she said and Theo and I got alert at that.
That's not good news.
"I asked her why she was crying.", she continued.
"What did she say?", Theo asked concerned.
"She said she was scared about your reaction to the whole situation.", she said looking at me.
Her words clenched my heart. My sister was on the verge of panic attack because she was scared of me?
"She asked me if you would hit her.", Lina said still looking at me.
I felt a pang in my chest at that. Am I that scary? Am I that unreachable? That my own sister is afraid of my reaction?
Have I failed as a brother?
"Vince", Theo's voice broke me out of my thoughts.
I looked at him with the usual stoic face, masking all my emotions. But I know he can read right through me. Only Theo can see past my face. There are no secrets between us.
Except one!
"Arianna's reaction was not your fault. We already suspected that she has gone through abuse back at her old house. This is the result of that trauma.", he said looking straight in my eyes.
"What? Abuse?", Lina asked shocked.
Theo averted his eyes from me and nodded.
I looked at Lina and she was staring into space, thinking something. I know what she's thinking. She's probably blaming herself for Arianna's condition.
Don't do this to yourself Angelina.
I averted my eyes from her. The longer I look at her, the deeper the pain I feel.
None of my sisters could have a good life.
"Angel", Theo called her softly.
"You uh m-must send her to uh therapy. It might help.", she fumbled with her words, looking anywhere but at us.
"Angel, listen to-", Theo was cut off by her.
"I have homework. I'll get going. You should talk to her immediately. Delaying will only increase her pain.", she said and ran away from the office.
"Angelina", Theo called but she was already gone.
"Theo, let's talk to Arianna tonight.", I said and he nodded.
Flashback ends.
Right now, we are patiently waiting for Arianna to say something. She was staring into space as if she is in a trance.
I sat silently, thinking she will break out of her thoughts slowly and say something. But, after a few minutes, her hands started trembling. Theo noticed it too and started rubbing her palms, but she still was in her own thoughts.
"Aria", he called her but she didn't respond.
Slowly her whole body started trembling and tears were flowing from her eyes. Her breathing quickened and her eyes were glazed over.
Theo hugged her and started rubbing her back to calm her down, but she flinched hard and her breathing quickened more and her eyes were closing and opening.
I rushed to her other side on the couch and hugged her and rubbed her palms to calm her down.
"Arianna", Theo called her but she didn't respond to him.
"Shh. Relax Arianna. You have to breathe. Calm down.", I said hugging her and rubbing her back.
But she didn't respond. In fact her eyes were slowly closing. I understood there's no way we can control this.
"Theo, go call the doctor.", I said hugging Arianna.
Theo looked all tensed and he was just staring at Arianna, rubbing her palms.
"Theodre", I said loudly and in a firm tone.
He looked at me and I asked him to call the doctor. He nodded and took his phone out but didn't let go of Arianna's hand.
I looked at her and her eyes were closing completely.
"Arianna", I called loudly, but she blacked out.
Theo looked at me tensed. He told the doctor would come in ten minutes. I nodded and picked her up. I took her to her room and gently placed her on her bed.
Theo sat beside her on the bed and gently caressed her forehead. I stood at the edge of the bed and stared at her.
What have you gone through Arianna?
After a painful ten minutes, the doctor finally came in. I asked him to check her and Theo told about the panic attack.
The doctor checked her pulse and eyes and also checked her BP. He looked at us and by looking at his face, I understood I'm not going to like what he is going to say.
"Mr. Marino, as you said I can see that she has gone through a panic attack. Her blood pressure is high, but I have injected her, so the levels would eventually come to normal and she'll calm down.", he said and I nodded.
"Also, she won't wake up till morning. It is required for her to calm down. In case she shows any disturbance in sleep, rub her palms and try to calm her down. As far as I know she won't, but it's better to have someone by her side for today.", the doctor continued.
I nodded and he walked out. I looked at Arianna and felt a pang in my chest. I never wanted to see any of my siblings in such condition. But life has never fulfilled my wishes.
Not then. Not now.
I looked at Theo and he was gently rubbing her palms.
"Theo, go and sleep. I'll stay with Arianna.", I said dragging a chair and sitting beside the bed.
"I'll stay Vince.", Theo said still looking at Arianna.
I sighed. In case of our younger siblings' health, Theo won't listen to anyone. Not even me. So I nodded and stared at Arianna. I will have to send her to therapy. I don't want this to repeat again.
We sat in silence for a long time and I don't know when I fell asleep on the chair.
"Bubba", a little kid called me.
I turned around and smiled at the kid. It was a park.
"Bubba, come here. I want to show you something.", the kid called waving at me.
I chuckled at that and started jogging towards the kid.
As I kept going closer to the kid, the park was getting replaced by walls. Dirty walls.
I started running towards the kid, who is nowhere to be seen. I kept running in the same direction and I could see something at a distance. I started running fast, but as I kept getting closer, that something was becoming more and more clear.
As that something was getting more clear, my pace started decreasing. I didn't want to go there but my legs won't stop.
As I got close enough to recognize the situation, the sight in front of me-
I jerked in my seat and woke up. I was breathing heavily and sweat drops formed on my neck and forehead. I looked around and tried to calm down. It was just a dream. Everyone is home, sleeping in their rooms.
Theo put a hand on my shoulder and I looked at him.
"You know you can talk to me, right?", he said looking at me.
I averted my eyes. There are no secrets between us. I tell him everything related to me and the family, but not this. I won't ever tell him about this.
This is my pain to bear!
Theo sighed and looked at Arianna. I looked at her too and she was sleeping peacefully. She looked so peaceful and beautiful. Just like mom.
"They'll pay for this, Vince.", Theo said looking at Arianna.
"They will."
****************************************************************************
So much emotion!
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Author.