Arianna
"I will give a tour to Arianna.", Ash said to Vince.
The moment he said that I froze. Why does he want to give a tour to me? Will he scold me for talking to Angelina? Will he blackmail me into doing his chores, or worse, will he hit me?
All these thoughts were making me restless. I was looking down at my lap, continuously fiddling my fingers, hoping out of hope that Vince would refuse. But his reply made me all the more nervous.
"Okay.", Vince replied.
He then said something to Theo and walked away. Everyone were speaking to each other, but I was only concentrating on my thoughts of what is Ash about to do.
"Arianna", Theo's voice brought me out of my thoughts.
I jumped a little at his voice and looked at him. He looked at me with a little concern in his eyes. Is he concerned about me?
"You seem a little tensed. Are you okay?", he asked in a gentle tone.
I can't tell him about Ash's warning. If I tell him, Ash will be all the more furious and might hate me forever. So I decided to keep the matter a secret.
"I-I'm f-fine.", I stuttered.
Theo looked at me with a little suspicion and then sighed.
"If you have any problem, you can come to me anytime. I also saved my number in your phone. You can call me if you need anything. Yes?", he said gently.
"Y-Yes", I replied.
He patted my head with a small smile and got up and fixed his suit.
"Have a good time together, you both.", Theo said looking at me and Ash.
Ash just nodded his head and I kept fiddling my fingers. Theo smiled at Angelina, who gave him a small smile in return.
"Have a good day, Theo.", she wished.
Theo then turned around and started walking out of the dining room. I don't know if I trust Theo, but he seems to be the person, I feel the safest with. I had this huge urge of asking him to stop or at least telling him that I don't want Ash to give me a tour. But, I didn't voice my thoughts. I am scared. Scared that it will make things worse.
After Theo walked away, everyone resumed their breakfast. I started swirling my spoon in the bowl of cereals and not actually eating. The tension of what Ash might do was so huge that I couldn't bring myself to eat.
"Anna", Angelina called me.
I looked up at her and she had a small frown on her face.
"You're not eating. Didn't you like the cereals? Do you want to eat something else? Miss Sofia will make you something else if you want?", she said in a soft voice.
How can I tell her that it is not the cereals but Ash, who is preventing me from eating? I was going to answer but I remembered Ash's warning of staying away from her. So, should I answer her or ignore her? I don't want to ignore her. It feels awful. She's been good to me all this time.
What should I do?
But before I could answer, Dylan scoffed.
"Leave it, brat. She is just being an attention seeker.", he scowled.
It hurt. His words hurt. Though I've been taunted a few times at school, all these years, it still hurts. I just want someone to understand me.
"Dyl, you're being mean. She's not an attention seeker. She's been through so much these past days. She requires time to settle down. We have to be more understanding.", Angelina said.
"What has she been through? She just got to know that she is a Marino. She doesn't have to act so weird about that. In fact, she should be happy she's getting to live in a far better and rich house.", Dylan scoffed.
I just looked down at my lap and bit my lip. Why does his words hurt so much? Why can't I control my emotions? Am I really being an attention seeker? Am I really that weird?
"Dylan, stop speaking like that.", Angelina said in a firm tone.
"What's so wrong about what he said, angel?", Ace said, sounding a little annoyed.
"Ace, not you too. You can't say such things.", she said, sounding a little disappointed.
"Truth might sometimes seem harsh.", Ash said in a flat tone.
"Guys, what's wrong with you? Why are you being like this?", she said frustrated.
All this time, I just kept looking down at my lap, fiddling my fingers and biting my lower lip. Tears were brimming in my eyes and I'm trying really hard to control them.
"She's unwanted here. She's just being a disturbance.", Dylan said.
That's when tears started flowing down my cheeks. Why? Why am I unwanted? Why does everyone hate me? Am I not their sister? How can they be so mean? Is that why they left me at an orphanage?
"Stop saying such things Dylan.", Angelina said, almost at the verge of yelling.
"I wonder why Vince brought her here. He should have just sent her to gr-", Ash was cut off in the middle by Angelina's interruption.
"Ash!", she stopped him, raising her voice a little.
That's when I couldn't control it, so, I stood up and ran out of the dining room.
"Arianna!", Angelina was calling me, but, I didn't stop and kept running towards my room.
Once I reached my room, I locked the door and collapsed on the floor, crying.
Why?
Why does it have to be like this?
Why did my foster parents hate me?
Why do the people who are supposed to be my family hate me?
Why am I so helpless?
Why should I be so lonely?
Why can't anyone see my pain?
Why can't anyone understand me?
I just want to have someone by my side.
I just want someone to hold me, when I am sad.
I just want someone to assure me that everything is going to be okay.
I just want someone to have my back, when I am falling.
But, I know I can have none of it. No one seems to care about me. No one seems to care about my feelings. No one cares about the pain I have been through and I'm going through.
No one cares!
Neither the people who raised me all these years, nor the people who are supposed to be my family.
If they didn't want me, why did they take me in? If they had the heart to leave me in an orphanage when I was just a baby then why couldn't they do it again?
Ever since I was a child, I always wanted my mother to hold me when I'm sad, my father to support and pamper me, a sibling to annoy me, but still have my back when needed, friends to share my thoughts and childhood with. But I had none. I have none.
I was alone then. I am alone now. I have always been alone.
I always wished for someone to be there for me. Someone to call my own. Someone to call a family.
I just wanted to know what it feels like to have a family.
I just wanted a family!
But I doubt if that wish will ever be fulfilled.
I was still crying, sitting on the floor of my room. The tears won't stop flowing. I desperately want someone to hold me. I have always bore this pain alone. But, how long? How long should I go through this? I want someone to hug me and tell me that it is going to be okay. I want someone to care. Care for my feelings.
I was still crying, when I heard a knock at the door.
"Anna"
****************************************************************************
So, here is the next chapter.
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Yours lovingly,
Author.