Lia
I can't breathe.
My body is trembling. My heart is beating so fast that I'm afraid I'm going to faint soon. I'm hyperventilating.
Each inhale feels like knives digging into my heart over and over again and every exhale is excruciating. I don't want to breathe anymore. I don't want to...I don't want to be here.
"He—he lied. He lied to me." I choke on my tears, my words laced with absolute heartbreak.
My head is fuzzy with countless memories and words that I thought were real but weren't. They were fake. Each memory is tainted with the realization that everything started from a lie.
My heart pounds so brutally inside my chest that stars begin to dance around my eyes. I want them to close. I want to fall into a darkness so that I don't have to live through this moment of my life. I want to forget this night ever happened.
I want to forget he happened.
I want to forget we happened.
I want to...I want to forget.
"H-he can't do this. He wouldn't do this. Why would h-he do this?" I ramble with quivering words and watery eyes. My hands are trembling as I tighten my grip on my dress.
It's dawning on me quite heartlessly that we were a lie.
"Oh my god, e-everything was a lie," I gasp for air, "I can't—I can't—"
I can't breathe.
Nolee
Shit, she's having an anxiety attack.
My own heart is panicking as I soothingly brush my hands along Lia's arms. She's on the floor, beside the sofa in our living room, breathing quickly, gasping for air with her unstoppable tears and heartbreaking words.
"Lia," I coo softly, brushing hair away from her face, "Take a deep breath." I instruct just like I used to when she had them back in high school.
Lia cries and my own eyes prick with tears because...she just got her heart broken in the most vicious way possible.
Xavier lied to her.
Made a bet to make her fall in love with him.
"Take a deep breath, girl, come on." Blair encouragingly says, moving to sit in front of her, holding her hands in hers, "Let's breathe in."
Lia does through her tears.
"And breathe out."
Her eyes are locked to the night sky as she breathes out.
"Atta girl." Blair sings.
I'm so fucking mad at Xavier. I want to hurt him. Castrate him. Punch his goddamn face for hurting my best friend.
But deep inside me...I know that what they had was real. Somewhere along his game, Xavier fell.
Fell hard.
Otherwise, no guy who made a bet to make a girl fall in love with him would look like his whole world shattered when he saw the girl he loves finally know the ugly truth.
He loves her.
I believe that.
But I also believe that he's a complete douchebag for playing with my girl like that. My best friends come before any guy would ever will. They matter the most to me. So I don't give two fucks about him or his love for Lia, I care about what Lia is going through and help her through this heartbreak.
"Let's do it once more," I say, moving her hair behind her so it's not suffocating her, Lia sits up a little and breathes, "That's it. In and out."
I warmly smile at her, her eyes catching mine for a fleeting moment and my heart cracks seeing the sadness in her pretty eyes.
She doesn't deserve this.
Suddenly, there's pounding at the door.
"Lia!" Xavier's muffled shout startles her and her body tenses.
I share a look with Blair.
"Shit." She mumbles before getting up and answering the door.
I protectively hold Lia, whispering encouraging, kind words into her ear but she's shaking.
"You need to fucking leave." I hear Blair snap at Xavier.
Then I hear the door being slammed against the wall and footsteps approaching the living room.
"Xavi—Xavier!" Blair yells.
Xavier
Storming past Blair, I go to the living room and the sight in front of me breaks my heart.
"Lia." I whisper.
I stand frozen for a moment staring at her curled up in her best friend's arms, tears streaming down her cheeks, her hair disheveled.
I did this to her. I made her cry. I broke her heart.
I never meant the bet to be outed like that.
Fucking Krystal.
I wanted to tell Lia myself, without a hundred pairs of eyes watching us. I wanted to be honest with her because I know she'd understand. I would've explained everything to her. Why I did it. Why I chose her. Why I ended the bet. Everything.
But like this...her seeing our video as if it insinuated that I recorded us secretly, has pushed her far away from me.
And I'm terrified that she might not want to come back to me.
Lia's sobs break me out of my thoughts and I rush over to her, falling to my knees and reaching out to caress her hair.
"Lia, baby—"
"Get off me!" She cries, pushing me away and agonizing pain swarms me as my insides tear from her rejection.
She has never not let me touch her.
Fuck.
"Xavier, get away from her." Blair barks at me.
"No, she needs to hear me out," I say with desperation and guilt clogging up my throat, my eyes don't stray away from her, "Lia, please. Let me talk to you. Baby, please."
Desperation is something I never thought I'd ever feel. Even when my own father was abusing me, I never felt desperate to make him stop. I never felt desperate to win a race or a basketball game. I never felt desperate for wanting a person.
But right now, I'm so fucking desperate for Lia to just look at me.
My heart feels like it's constricting, tighter and tighter until it's really fucking hard to breathe. I'm cold all over. My warmth is curled up on the floor, crying in her best friend's arms.
I need her...
With desperation, I reach out to touch her.
"Lia." My voice is strained with heartache.
She flinches away from me, hiding her face in Nolee's embrace, her hair blanketing her and her voice is a broken whisper.
"No, no, no, no."
I grab her wrist.
"Lia, baby—"
She shrieks, her cries getting breathier and hoarser.
"No!"
She shakes her head over and over again, her trembling hands cover her ears and she hides herself in Nolee. She's breathing so fucking fast I'm scared she's going to pass out and her sobs are wrenching me apart.
I stare at her in shock and so much fucking worry.
"What the fuck is happening to her?!" I yell with my heart in my throat.
Seeing my girlfriend like this is frightening. All I want to do is carry her in my arms and take her far away so that nothing else hurts her. I want to protect her.
Fucking hypocritical of me considering I'm the one who scarred her with wounds she doesn't deserve.
"She's having an anxiety attack," Nolee snaps at me, her hazel eyes dark with rage and distress, "You need to get outta her sights, Xavier."
Fuck.
Her anxiety.
She told me she used to have anxiety attacks back in high school.
She recovered from them after but fuck, now I've brought them back.
Fuck!
I'm feeling so much fucking torment that I want to do the most fucking reckless thing.
I want to take her by force, fuck what anyone wants, she needs me.
But...I don't want to hurt her any more than she already is.
"Xavier, let's go, man." Zack says from behind me.
Tears burn my eyes but I curl my hands into fists. I want to hold her. I want to hug her. Caress her hair. Kiss her. Tell her everything will be okay. That I love her.
Really fucking love her.
"No," I growl, clenching my jaw, "I need her. She's..."
Nolee locks her eyes on me. Nothing but hatred for me swimming in them. And I'm not mad at her for that. I can't blame her. She tightens her hold on Lia, almost as if she wants to hide Lia away from me and that alone snatches my heart out of my chest.
"Xavier, if you love her. You'll leave her for now." Nolee says in a sorrowful voice.
I do love her.
I love her with my every existing being but I don't want to...I can't...
I can't let her go.
"Please, Xavier. Go." Blair begs me with a gentle tone.
She's crying.
Fuck.
Not only have I hurt Lia, but I've also hurt these two girls too.
Taking a shaky breath, I stand up, my own hands shaking from despair. My eyes don't blink as I keep staring at the only girl I've ever loved.
She looks so small, vulnerable, and broken...it's all my fault.
I don't want to leave her like this but I don't want her to hurt like this anymore.
So with my heart crying on the floor, curled up in her best friend's arms, I walk out.