What. The. Hell.
"Did that octopus seriously get a girlfriend before me?" I muttered as I watched the blonde girl cling to Koro-sensei.
"It'd be hard to find a girl interested in you," Hayami joked before turning back to the scene on display before us. "But even you would be more desirable than a giant yellow octopus,"
"That might be the nicest thing you've ever said to me!" I cheered while jokingly tearing up.
"That's sad," Sugino pointed out.
Karasuma was standing at the front of the classroom. "Now, allow me to introduce your brand new temporary foreign-language teacher."
The blonde woman was clinging to Koro-sensei, smiling pleasantly at them all.
"Irina Jelavic. Nice to meet you all!" she introduced herself.
"What a knockout!" Hiroto whispered excitedly.
"What knockers!" Okajima gushed, getting a nosebleed.
"Why the hell is she so into Koro-sensei?" I muttered before glancing again at our newest teacher.
She's an assassin, no doubt about it. She's more than likely been trained in the arts of infiltration and seduction, that must be why she's so into him.
She's playing him like a fiddle.
Can't say I'm surprised they would resort to this though, with how he acts if I was in charge of this I would have tried this already.
Nothing gets to his head like sweets and women.
Bitch-sensei smiled up at Koro-sensei. "Who would have thought you were a teacher here?"
Karasuma watched Koro-sensei from the corner of his eye. "The School intends to give you an authentic experience in foreign languages," he said. "I trust there are no complaints..." Bitch-sensei was still smiling and gushing all over the yellow teacher. "...About her taking over half your English lesson?"
"If we must," Koro-sensei replied without complaint.
Okajima gaped at the scene in front of him while Mimura looked extremely uncomfortable.
I just smirked and rolled my eyes.
"What's that look about?" Sugaya asked as he glanced over at me.
"Just thinking to myself, it's nothing," I replied and Okajima turned around and smirked.
"She's your type huh?" He asked and I waved my hand nonchalantly.
"Nah, I'm more into the stoic type, I'd rather not have someone draped all over me," I admitted with a sly smirk. I noticed Hayami perk up a bit when u said that, but I chosen to ignore it for now. "But if we're talking types I think was just found Koro-sensei's,"
We all stared at Koro-sensei as he turned pink while staring at the blonde's boobs.
"Yeah there's no mistaking that look," Sugaya agreed with a shrug.
Sugino decided to join the conversation at this point and rolled his eyes.
"As if there was ever any doubt about his type" he joked and Hayami nodded.
"He always has been pretty transparent," she agreed.
I nodded and let out a sigh.
Either way, it looks like nobody else has caught onto the ruse. I then glanced back at Karma who was smirking as always.
Clever bastard, of course, he would catch on.
Bitch-sensei blushed and sighed softly as she stared up at the octopoid. "The more I look at you the more I like what I see." His pin face was shown. "You're beady eyes, like two diarrhea pills."
What kind of seduction technique is that supposed to be?
His wriggling tentacles were shown. "Your undefined joints." She rested her head on his chest, while the class behind her looked shocked. "Why, you're positively captivating."
"How embarrassing!" Koro-sensei chuckled.
We all stared in shock.
"So she either has the weirdest fetish I've ever seen or she's playing him," Sugino muttered and I chuckled.
Either way, I was curious to see how this would play out.
____________________
"Hey, pass! Kill!"Karma called out as Okajima kicked a ball toward their teacher.
"Are you not gonna join their game?" Karasuma asked and I shook my head.
"Nah, I'm feeling a little under the weather today," I admitted, it wasn't a lie at all. I genuinely wasn't feeling well, but I would be lying if that was my only reason.
"Besides, I couldn't resist the chance to speak with a real professional killer," I smirked and glanced at said killed. "Ain't that, right? Irina-sensei,"
"You sure figured that out fast," Karasuma replied, taking a glance at me.
"It's not rocket science, like hell would you guys call in a regular teacher," I explained with a casual shrug. "So what's your game Irina-sensei? Seduction right?"
"You really know your stuff," she replied and I sighed.
"Alas, a genius like me wouldn't be fooled for long," I joked but got ignored.
"I had all kinds of close-range methods prepared," she said frigidly, as Karasuma stood next to her. "I just never thought my seduction tactics would work." She took out a cigarette while Karasuma eyed her distrustfully.
She lit up the cigarette.
"But you can't just hire an assassin to work at a school," he said as she walked away. "We'll have you do some teaching to keep up appearances."
She stopped and smirked. "I'm a Pro." She glanced at him from the corner of her eye. "My job will be done before I need to resort to teaching." Then she walked outside.
Outside a football was kicked high in the air.
"HUP! PASS!"
Karma kicked the ball to Koro-sensei. "Hup! Kill!" He shot at the teacher as well.
Koro-sensei now had two balls in hand with one about to hit his head. "Hup! Pa-"
"Koro-sensei!" Irina-sensei called.
"Hm?" The ball bounced off his head as he and the class stopped to look over at her.
I also made my way outside after her and watched in mild amusement. She had no idea what kind of monster she was dealing with.
Irina-sensei waved as she ran down the steps. "Koro-sensei!"
"Karasuma-sensei tells me you're oh so very fast!" she chimed, stopping in front of him. "Is that true?"
Koro-sensei dropped the footballs and looked sheepish. "Well, not that fast..."
"Could you do me a favor? I'd love to try some real Vietnamese coffee." He kept ogling her breasts. "Won't you bring me some while I'm teaching English?"
His face was pink again. "Why of course. I happen to know a great café in Vietnam." He flew off into the air, sparkling a little, leaving a dust cloud in his wake.
"There he goes," I muttered as I looked over at Irina-sensei. And now that he's gone, she can show her true colors.
Then at that moment, the bell rang and Isogai stepped forward.
"Er...Ms. Irina?" Isogai spoke up nervously. "Class is starting. Shouldn't we go back in?"
"Class?" Bitch-sensei took out another cigarette and lit it up. "Oh, right. Just make it a study hall or something."
I watched intently as she took a drag off her cigarette and puffed the smoke from her mouth.
"Uh..." Okajima's eyes widened.
She looked at us coldly as she let out a wisp of smoke. "And, can you not call me by my first name?" The students were taken aback by the sudden change of behavior. "I'm not playing teacher unless that octopus is around, so you are to call me Ms. Jelavic."
Vic...bitch...
Karma was gonna have some fun with this one.
From the far corner, Karma smirked. "So, what are you going to do, Ms. Bitch?"
Called it.
"No, nicknames!" she snapped, pointing at him.
Karma kept smiling, placing his hands on his hips. "You're an assassin, right?" He raised an eyebrow. "This whole class working together can't kill this monster, and you're going to kill him all by yourself?"
Bitch-sensei smiled crookedly. "Brat. Grown-ups have their own grown-up way of doing things," she said smugly. She looked over her shoulder. "You must be Nagisa Shiota right?"
"Uh oh Kayano, she might be after your man," I teased and Kayano freaked out and stared at me.
"Huh!?"
"Uh...?" Nagisa's eyes widened.
Without saying a word, Bitch-sensei walked over and kissed him.
Everyone freaked out at that and I just smirked, once again whispering in Kayano's ear, said girl looked like she was about to have a stroke.
"Told ya so," I joked, but this time she was too focused on the kiss to pay me any mind.
Then I felt someone tapping on my shoulder and turned around to see Hayami.
"You knew about her from the start didn't you?" She asked and I shrugged.
"You're telling me you didn't?" I asked and she shook her head.
"I had my suspicions sure, but most of us were pretty thrown off by the sudden shift," she admitted and I nodded.
"Yeah, from what I can figure she must be some kinda infiltration specialist, and her body and words are her weapons," I explained and then let out a sigh. "Classic seduction tactics, I'll admit they've got Koro-sensei pinned,"
Hayami raised an eyebrow.
"I sense a "but" at the end of that statement," she pointed out and I smirked.
"Awfully observant of you, you're absolutely correct," I replied before narrowing my eyes. "Koro-sensei is definitely more clever than he lets on, let's just say Ms. Bitch over there is in way over her head,"
The two of us were silent for a moment before Hayami deadpanned.
"She's still kissing Nagisa," she said.
"Yeah, I noticed," I replied
"Come to the staffroom later," she said coyly while she held his shell-shocked face against her cleavage.
Oh?
"I'd like to see what you have on him." Then she turned around and let him drop to the floor. "The same goes for anyone else with key intel!" she told the others.
Oh.
"I'll give you something good in return." She smirked when she looked at the girls. "I can even swap in a man for you girls."
Oh!?
Three men in stealth gear walked over to them, carrying guns.
Oh great, more inactive brain cells.
"It's a pro's job to have both technique and connections," she said, looking very smug. "You brats go watch from the outfield." Then one of her guys passed her a small gun. "Oh, and one more thing." Her smile grew colder. "Interfere even slightly in my assassination and I'll kill you." She kissed the barrel of her gun.
Man, she's a real bitch huh?
____________________
English class was fairly dull, I guess that's what happens when the teacher doesn't feel like teaching.
"So what do you think of the new teacher?" Karma joked and I rolled my eyes.
"If I start I might not stop," I warned him, earning a chuckle.
"Well, then I guess it's up to us to screw with her," Karma replied and I nodded.
"C'mon Ms. Bitch, teach us something," Hiroto groaned.
Ms. Bitch nearly rolled backward off of her seat.
Bitch-sensei shook with rage.
"I mean you are a teacher here, right, Ms. Bitch?" Karma remarked loudly.
"QUIT YOUR BITCHING!" she shouted, standing up.
"I'll teach you the right way to say the V!" Bitch-sensei lectured.
"Firstly bite your bottom lip. GO ON!"
The class quietly and reluctantly repeated, pronouncing V.
"Yes, right!" Bitch-sensei said, with the while class poised to say the letter V. "Now stay like that for an hour and give me some peace and quiet."
What the hell kind of lesson is this!?
____________________
"Well that was a complete waste of time," I muttered and Maehara laughed.
"And I know exactly how to get our minds off of it!" He cheered and Isogai, the third and final member of our current group, smiled awkwardly.
"Uh oh," he muttered.
"Let's go pick up some chicks!" Maehara cheered and dragged us off.
Target #1: Kanzaki
"What is happening right now?" I asked and Isogai shrugged.
"We're watching Maehara hit on girls," he pointed out and I sighed.
"Yeah I know, what I wanna know is why!?" I questioned and Isogai sighed.
"Someone has to cheer him up when he gets rejected," he said and deadpanned.
"You know Kanzaki, you're really cute. Have I ever told you that?" Maehara asked and Kanzaki smiled awkwardly.
"Yes, every time we've spoken," she replied, and Okano entered the room.
"Uh oh," I joked and slipped behind Isogai.
Okano saw what was happening and glared at the orange-haired playboy.
"Maehara," she growled making him jump. "What are you doing!"
She then kicked him in the stomach.
And so ended Maehara's adventure in stupidity.
______________________
PE is fun, especially when you watch one of your teachers take another one of your teachers to a shed under the guise of sex. Especially when in all actuality it's actually an assassination.
"Hey now-you kidding me?" Mimura exclaimed. The others stopped to see what he was looking at. "They're going into that shed together?"
"Kind of a letdown." Sugaya groaned. "Watching Koro-sensei fall for such an obvious ploy."
Kataoka watched Koro-sensei and Bitch-sensei with unease.
"Karasuma-sensei...."
Karasuma frowned. "Hm?"
"I get that she's a Pro, but she's not exactly easy to get along with," she said disdainfully.
"Yes, I know." He closed his eyes and faintly shook his head. "I'm sorry you kids have to deal with her but the higher-ups seemed to think that she's all that."
Bitch-sensei followed Koro-sensei into the supply shed on the hill.
"And, well...completing all her preparation in a single day only proves that notion," Karasuma finished as Karma approached.
"You think it'll work?" He asked and I laughed.
"Absolutely not," I laughed and he smirked.
"Yeah, there's no way in hell this works," he agreed.
All we could do now was wait for the inevitable.
Karma and I barely paid attention to the lesson, too focused on waiting to pay Karasuma any mind.
After a while, everyone, even Karasuma himself, was simply waiting.
Then the sound of gunfire. Everyone took a step back and was taken off guard as I stared in shock.
"That sounds like live ammo," I pointed out and Nagisa turned to me.
"How can you tell?" He asked and I frowned.
"It's way louder than our air rifles," I explained before turning to Karasuma. "Didn't you tell her that live ammo wouldn't work?"
"Yes, I did," said Karasuma.
After another little while, we heard slithering noises.
And then moaning...
What the hell was Koro-sensei doing?
"What was that?" Fuwa wondered.
Okajima raised an eyebrow. "Gunshots, a scream and now a slithery sound?"
"NO!" Bitch-sensei moaned suggestively as the slithering noises intensified.
...
"Um...I'm not sure I wanna know," I pointed out.
Bitch-sensei's moaning grew coyer.
"Yeah, I really don't wanna know," I finalized.
Okajima's cheeks were flushed. "I really want to know what he's doing to her in there!"
Dammit, Okajima.
"Let's go!" Maehara ran towards the shed quickly.
Nagisa, Maehara, and I were the first to get to the shed as a pink-faced Koro-sensei emerged.
"Koro-sensei?" Nagisa exclaimed.
Okajima hurried up to us. "How are those boobs?!"
Koro-sensei smiled smarmily. "I wish I could have enjoyed myself a little longer." The pink faded from his cheeks. "But, I'm looking forward to our classes together."
The students looked on warily as smoke filtered out of the shed.
"Wh-what happened in there?" Nagisa asked hesitantly.
Then, with wobbly legs, Bitch-sensei emerged out of the shed in an extremely tight-fitting PE uniform.
"Ah! Bitch-sensei is wearing a wholesome, retro gym outfit!" Nagisa shouted.
Bitch-sensei was in a daze flushed state, drooling as she stepped out into full view. "To think he did all that to me in one minute...my back and shoulders have never felt looser, ha gave me a lymphatic oil massage, and then changed my clothes at top speed."
Wait. That's all he did?
I was expecting worse. Well goes to show you should never judge a book by its-
"And, then to do that slithery thing with his tentacles?!" She collapsed to the ground.
...God dammit Koro-sensei
Nagisa sighed wearily and turned around to their teacher. "What did you do, Koro-sensei?"
Koro-sensei's face went blank white, looking away. "Oh, you know, grownups need grown-up care."
"That's the face of a guilty grown-up!" Toka snapped.
"Back to the classroom now!" he chimed.
"Yes sir," we all chorused.
If we were lucky, maybe defeat will have humbled the bitch.
But I honestly doubted that.
____________________
The students were uneasily quiet while Bitch-sensei tapped away at her phone with a dark look shrouding her face.
Yeah, I definitely doubted that now.
"Dammit! Why doesn't this backwoods school have WiFi?" she yelled?
"You're trying awful hard, Bitch-sensei?" Karma said lightly, gaining some of the class' attention. "Your pride must be in tatters after that."
Bitch-sensei glared at Karma and gritted her teeth.
"Uh, Sensei?" Isogai spoke up hesitantly.
"What!?" Bitch-sensei shot back bitterly.
He looked nervous. "If you're not going to teach us anything, could you swap with Koro-sensei?" He raised his finger like he wanted to bite his nails. "It's just we've got entrance exams this year."
"Ha!" she mocked, making him tense. "You want that vicious creature to teach you?"
My eyes widened.
"You think your exams compare at all to a planetary crisis?" She stood up and smirked coldly. "Must be nice being a clueless kid!" Her smirk grew. "Besides, I know you E Class students are the school's loser misfits."
Everyone began to glare.
"There can't be any point in studying now!" Bitch-sensei mocked.
Seriously she needed to shut up.
She spread her arms out tauntingly. "I know-how about this? If my attempt succeeds I'll give you 5 million yen to share!" She smacked her palm against the desk. "That's far more than you'd gain from any pointless schoolwork." She smiled smugly. "So shut up and do as I-"
She flinched as a bb flew by her head and hit the chalkboard.
"Shut. Up," I ordered as I stood up from my desk.
I stood straight up and stared daggers at her.
"You kill people for a living. What do you think that's honest work? Do you think that's something to be proud of?" I asked, beginning to walk forward. "You're right about one thing,"
Bitch-sensei stared in shock as the class murmured amongst itself.
"I don't have a future. I sacrificed that right three years ago," I stated as I stepped closer to Bitch-sensei. "But these guys? No, they still have that shot. And if I see you getting in their way one more time-" I trailed off
Then at crazy speeds, I drew my knife and pressed the tip of it against her throat. She didn't bleed obviously, the knife was made of rubber. But I got the feeling that if looks could kill she would have died right then and there.
She looked genuinely horrified.
"Then I kill you," I finished.
I glared darkly at her for a few moments before putting my knife away and smiling.
"Just kidding," I said, taking a step back.
I turned toward the door and left.
I got a little bit down the hell when I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned around to see a panting Rinka Hayami.
"Hey Hayami, sorry you had to see that," I said and she stayed silent. "I didn't scare you did I?"
"What the hell was that?" She asked, a demanding look in her eyes. "You seemed like a completely different person,"
I sighed and placed a hand on her head in a reassuring gesture, I was expecting her to bat my hand away but she just looked at me.
"Sorry, but I can't tell you," I said, and she narrowed her eyes. "I was a very different person back then, but I'm trying to change,"
She stared at me for a minute, as if trying to figure out if my intentions were as I said. After a moment though she sighed.
"Fine then, I believe you," she said and I sighed.
"That's a relief," I laughed before turning to her. "Follow me,"
I led Hayami over to a cliff nearby the campus, I looked over the edge and sighed.
"Man that's a long fall," I laughed and Hayami rolled her eyes.
"Why did you bring me here?" She asked and I sighed.
"I just wanted to reassure you of something," I told her and she frowned.
"What is it?" She asked and I sighed.
"I'm not gonna hurt any of you," I said and her eyes widened.
"How did you-" she asked but I cut her off.
"It's all in your eyes, I could tell you didn't completely trust me. Even now you still don't," I explained and she crossed her arms.
"Well can you blame me? You looked like a monster just now. Can you really blame me for being a little freaked out?" She asked and I shook my head.
"No, of course not, I'd be scared too if I was in your position," I said, before taking a breath. "But don't worry, I would never hurt someone I love as much as you,"
My heart skipped a beat at her shocked expression. I definitely revealed that way too soon.
But then I noticed her shock turn to bewilderment, and then she blushed.
Was she flustered!?
"Prove it," she demanded, closing her eyes tight and crossing her arms.
"Huh?" I asked and she looked at the ground.
"You said you love me, so prove it!" She demanded, getting a small smirk out of me.
I stepped closer to her and ran my hand through her hair, she looked up and our eyes met.
And then we kissed.
__________
Alright, so that's a wrap! I'm willing to bet you weren't expecting that to happen so soon.
But in all fairness, it can only take a few days to develop feelings for someone so I think it's fine.
Now I can focus on the actual relationship.
Hope ya'll enjoyed the chapter.
See ya!