I'm already beginning to tire of this cruel island.
The bugs, the deathly corners, and Pan.
His games seem to get crueler every damned day I'm here. His eyes are making their transformation from this gorgeous and inviting green, to a deadly black.
I always try to avoid eye contact, but he continues to stare me down.
We just got back from an exhausting training day. We ran throughout the forest from things being thrown at us and other obstacles. Everyone has finished eating and now we sit peacefully around the fire.
Nolan hasn't talked to me since our brief conversation. He seems to be reserved now that we've really talked. I want to ask him more, but I know prying will just make it hurt more.
The night continues on as usual and the boys start dancing around the fire. They tug on me to start dancing with them and after a while of begging, for once, I join them.
At first, I have tons of fun, spinning and jumping around the burning flames in the middle of our small circle. all the boys seem so happy right now, even Nolan. Big toothy smiles are on each of their faces and it warms my heart. No one seems to care how their dancing looks, they just are. Eli and Travis bang on drums as they spin around and everyone else claps along.
I turn around only to look right into dark and scary eyes.
My energy automatically deflates. Pan always puts a damper on the mood. I slow down, catching my breath and taking a seat.
"What's wrong? Why aren't you dancing?" Brayden automatically asks me.
I think of the quickest excuse. "I'm tired." I say quickly, scratching the back of my head.
He rolls his eyes and continues to dance.
I lay long ways on the log, my back hurting from the rough surface of the wood, but I don't care. The small pain is worth the view above me.
Millions of glowing stars. I started pointing out the Big Dipper and other stars to myself mentally. I enjoy star gazing for what seems like just a few minutes.
It's absolutely beautiful.
If only Neverland was always like this.
Right then, I feel a hand tap my shoulder and I quickly sit up, only to realize it's Pan.
"What," I say, running my hand through my hair.
"Don't give me attitude, I'm your leader." He spits. I hate him. "Anyways, all the boys are in bed, you should get going too." And with that, he starts walking away.
I groan. Why do I have to be stuck here with him? Then I realize something. We're alone. I can ask him something I've been dying to ask. I need to know. And I need to know now.
"Why did you kiss me?" I ask quickly.
He stops dead in his tracks. He turns around slowly with what looks like a mad expression. For a moment, I think he's going to yell. Instead, he replies calmly, "It was in the moment."
I feel confused. I thought it was so much more than that. Why do I care so much?
He walks towards me, "why did you kiss back?"
"I don't know." I say.
He's much closer to me now. "There must be a reason, just say it."
My heart is racing in my chest. I'm silent for a moment, trying to figure out why. Something finally comes to me and I speak.
"I think I'm att-," my sentence is cut off with the loud rumbling of the ground.
I look at Pan utterly confused and a bit scared. He seems to be shocked at first before a, what seems like, scared realization leaks onto his face. He looks at me with wide eyes like there's something wrong with me.
Quickly, he pulls me into his arms, looking around.
It's a bit hazy to me what happens next.
An ear-splitting loud ding, like a clock, fills my ears before I black out with the comfort of Pan's arms around me.
Short but important! Updating soon!
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