"So Foolish you're going to build up the land around wherever we choose to live?" I ask, finally being able to get some conversation out of the five men.
"That's the plan. I'm the only one with enough will and patience to build something so delicate. Something that will influence our entire future." Foolish's voice is commanding. But there's a wit to his words. A tinge of playfulness hanging off his every word.
"How did you get your soulmate?" I look at Clay for a moment. He's walking ahead with Nick. It seems as though they have some beef to work out. It's best if they sort it out themselves. We can't go into any of this with riffs. It will be our downfall. We can have a downfall. This needs to be a one and done deal.
"Actually..." Foolish trails off and looks toward Techno. The silence between them holds a tension. But Techno encourages him to continue on.
"My soulmate was sent off to the unspoken about lands. Thanks to Dream I was given the opportunity to switch over to a government job to move to a soulmate land. Dream's only request in return was for my help." Foolish shrugs. "But it's okay, I don't need love to prove anything. I have my friends. It's the best decision I've made really. I will now have the opportunity to make a connection with someone who I wouldn't have been able to before. Live life how they did hundreds of years ago. I'm ready for it."
I can feel the happiness radiating off of Foolish as he speaks. I expect a hint of sadness but there isn't even an ounce. He's excited for more adventures. He seems like one who could live off a life full of exploring. He's got the physique for it.
"What about you, Techno?" I try not to look at him. He still scares me to the core and I've spent days with him. Days of being clung to Clay's side because I cannot bear a moment alone with such a terrifying thing.
"Oh, you know. Just here to fight if need be." His monotone voice drags out so nonchalantly. It's almost as if he's hurt someone before. But I can't imagine such a thing. There's no way he'd be this far past government lines if he had. He would have been sent to the unspoken about land ages ago.
"Ah." I go silent and don't push on anymore. I can't bear to look at him. I don't want to have a conversation with him either. I've heard he's good at control. I've heard it's best to have him on our side. And I leave it at that. The rest of it isn't worth it.
Now Phil, I've been able to get bits and bobs out from him. He's not as closed off as Foolish and Tencho have been. Then again the Techno off putting could be completely from myself. Either way, I don't need to press him for conversation when I already know his answers to the same questions.
But I do have one question I've been dying to ask the knowledgeable man. I've just feared what he would respond. It was either now or never. I didn't know what tomorrow held and now was my chance.
"Phil, in my book, when I had it, I saw numbers. What are those numbers?" I look at the ground as I ask the once mentor. I fear his reaction to my question.
"Numbers?" Phil questions with his brows furrowed together. "Oh wait, Q's your mentor right?" I nod my head in response. His reaction has my heart too sad look up.
"Q is a weird one when it comes to books. He uses numbers to indicate when you've met a person. Each number correlates to a person. It's how long they've been out in the world. If their number is zero, they already have a soulmate. It's his way of keeping track of who you've met. And before you ask, yes mentors write your book. We're always watching." Phil smiles at me as I look up from the dirt below all of us.
"Hya come!" Clay calls from the front of the pack. I run up carefully and stand at Clay's side. George follows, unable to live with the idea of being left out of whatever is being said.
"I'm surprised you two haven't killed each other yet." I laugh a little as I watch their expressions contort. What? I'm only speaking the truth.
"We are best friends Cinth." Nick wraps his arm over Clay's shoulder. I watch Clay roll his eyes and shake my head. He still hates the words best friend. Still too much trauma with the words. Still too much fear that he'll lose everyone again.
"It's not you I worry about Nick." I glance at Clay as he shrugs Nick off. "It's mister ice cold soul over here. He barely even warms to me. You really think he'll warm to anyone else?"
"Only the master of fire can warm a cold soul." Nick sparks a fire at his fingertips for a quick second. Just long enough to prove a point. And surely not long enough to cause a scene.
"Enough." Clay bites. I can feel jealousy radiating off his skin. I look towards George but he doesn't catch my hint. He won't take Clay's pain away. I will just have to deal.
"That's Bluebell." Clay instantly changes the topic of conversation and points ahead into a clearing of trampled blue flowers. A land that was once so beautiful had been tainted. Tainted for no other reason than myself. I had caused this. I ruined a beautiful land to try and get something I didn't even deserve. Something I no longer desire. I could have gotten everything I needed beyond the fence. I didn't need to escape. We didn't need to escape.
"It's ruined." I rush toward the clearing with my heart sinking deep into my chest. I go to reach out toward a trampled dead flower but Clay grabs me before I move an inch.
I feel tears welling in my eyes as I stare at the land. My entire being just collapses into Clay's arms because I've never seen something so horrific. This is worse than the pain I gave Ranboo. I didn't even care anymore. I was broken to the point of mind numbing.
"I did this!" I raise my voice as I yell into Clay's chest. The entire group shushes me. I shake my head wanting to do nothing more than scream my heart out but I don't. I know better.
"You did nothing." Phil speaks. His tone calming. It's almost as if his voice is like a comforting hug. An arm wrapped around your shoulders as you wallow in self pity.
"They did." Techno's infliction is chilling. His anger toward the government will help us win. At least I hope it will.
"This all ends after sleep. Nick, you know what you have to do." Clay narrows his eyes and looks through his lashes at his partner in crime. His brother in a world where brothers do not exist. Or... well... they do, we just don't know who they are.
I watch Nick's eyes shift toward George. I see a sadness strike behind his mask of excitement. A master of reading people I have become. Maybe that's a part of my power. Maybe it's not just light. Maybe it's more than that. Maybe it's why I always pick up on the little things. There is no way to ever know. I just know that whatever Nick has to do is risky. And I know that I haven't been told about it. Better this way. Less hurt for me I guess.
"Stay safe." George's hand reaches up to caress Nick's cheek. I can hear George's thumb scratch across Nick's stubble. I think back to how his stubble has felt against my skin and I feel a chip crack into my heart. There is too much distance between us now. Too much... forgotten love.
"What's going on?" I step toward Nick. Clay tugs me back before I get too close. "No Clay." I whip my head toward him. "Where is Nick going?"
"It's best if you don't know Hya." Clay's tone is demanding. Threatening almost. He doesn't want me to push. But he knows I will. I fight him on everything. It's why we work. I put him in his place and he tries to put me in mine.
"Nick... where are you going?" I speak directly to him. I know he hears me. I know by the way my skin fires up in a blaze of orange. I don't say a word. I don't alert Clay. I keep this moment between the two of us. I have to.
"That doesn't matter now, Cinth. I will be fine. I promise to make it back in one piece." Nick's voice is quiet. My eyes watch his lips as the words sound in my head but they do not move. He's inside my head again. I feel a warmth of wetness against my forehead and I feel the burn of a glow. I know it's that of Sap's. Whatever beef and drama we've had is washed clean now. We're too close to freedom to let things between us break.
"Clay is right. It's best if you don't know Hyacinth. You are too fragile. Too new to the plan. I will be back." Nick directs his attention back to George. "Love you."
Before George can mutter the words back, Nick is gone. I blink and his body is no longer in front of us. I don't think I've ever heard George get emotional. I don't think I've heard him say I love you. And I've spent weeks with him and Nick. This is clearly something risky, but important.
***
Everyone has drifted off to sleep. But I can't. I can't sleep when Nick's still gone. I'm sorry, but I can't take another moment of worrying about him. Clay, if you're in my head. Don't hate me. Please.
I climb out of Clay's arms and wander off from our little camp for the night. I walk toward Bluebell and the giant lights illuminating the inside land are distracting. These didn't exist before. I guess the government has taken action against escapees.
I take a few steps out into the once flower filled field and I sigh at the destruction that's been left behind. I reach down and lift a dead flower up toward my face. I let my magic light up the world around me as I study the once bright object in my hands.
"What are you doing?" A stern voice breaks me from my focus. When I glance over my shoulder I see Clay standing with his arms crossed. Much like I expect to find. I could feel him coming. His green glow crept upon my skin as I lifted the flower from the ground.
"Can't sleep." I start simply. "Too worried about Nick." I turn on my heel and bury my body into Clay's chest. Even if he's angry he will invite me into his space. He always has kind of done it. Even if it's only for a short second. He's always given me some sort of refuge in his touch.
"His powers will set him free of any sort of lock up. He's safe no matter what. Please come lay back down and sleep with me?" I don't respond to his demands. I just stand in his grasp cherishing the little bit of warmth he's giving.
I can feel his body swaying in tiredness. But I don't want to leave the edge of Bluebell. I want to stand here until Nick returns. This is home to me. It's where I feel the most safe. Or at least used to. Now it just fills me with a bit of pain.
"I can't sleep." I say softly and I feel Clay's loose body stiffen at my words. Almost as if I've woken him by speaking. He's exhausted and I'm the one keeping him awake. I hate it.
"I know." Clay mumbles out as he rests his head on top of mine. I nuzzle my head into his chest and listen to the subtleness of his breathing. His hums comfort me enough to join him back on the ground.
***
I don't sleep. I lay wide awake all night waiting for Nick. He never returns. Yet somehow no one worries. No one even bats a lash at the fact that Nick is still gone. But it seems to be the only thing on my mind.
"Hya, you ready to see your friends again?" Clay tries to distract me. I blow off his question, staring off toward Bluebell. "Hya..." Clay shakes my shoulder and I turn to look at him.
"Sorry— uh— yeah. Sure." I drop my head and stare at the forest floor below me. I don't want to look at all the people who don't care about Nick. I want to be upset alone. But I don't have that option. Today is go day. Today is the day it all ends. My emotions can't win now. Halcyon is waiting.