Two nights ago I found out my brother might die, one night ago I found out he's living. One hour ago I found out that I'm being taken to court for being an unfit mother. Twenty five minutes ago I was crying in the shower. Three minutes ago I was reluctantly saying goodbye to Rosen as a social worker took her to see if she had any bruises. Ten minutes later I got her back. Ten minutes ago I was talking to my attorney, five minutes ago I saw Matthew's sister approaching me. Two minutes ago she said hey, one minute ago I slapped her. Ten seconds ago I felt bad, 2 seconds ago She said she just wanted to talk.
"You people are trying to take my child away from me. Why would I want to talk to you??" Her blonde hair resembled Matthews, her heart face looked like him.
"You're causing a scene." She seethed between her teeth. "Valeria should be with us, I mean you hurt her enough by naming her Valeria"
Okay now she fucking insane. Valeria is perfect. Rosen as a nickname and it's her middle name.
I took a step back refraining myself from beating her ass "What do you people want from me?? You won't stop until I'm in a body bag like Aliana? "
She looked taken back "You're just as crazy as I heard" she crossed her arms.
I took a step closer "Take Rosen from and find out how crazy I can be" I mean every single word. I will kill them if they even hold her. That family hurts people and gets off on seeing people in pain.
"Shouldn't you be worried about your brother." She leaned in "I heard he's about dead" I chuckled before getting ready to charge at her.
"Not the time nor place" Jovian arm wrapped around my waist. I pushed him off me, giving Hanna one more glare before walking away. "Keep your fucking hands off me" I feel bad about blowing up on jovian. He didn't do anything right now to make me snap at him.
This is a private case I guess, so our attorneys are talking this over privately. Trying to come up with an agreement so it'll stay out of the courtroom.
"Miss Rivers. We need your permission to get Rosen dna." I whirled around, "why?"
"It's a part of the whole process. To make sure she's actually your baby and his baby" I signed something agreeing to it, then more paperwork. Then I got rosen from Kia house. I decided to crash with Kia for a little while to give Julius his space. I wasn't ready to go back to my apartment not while this custody thing was going on.
"How long do you have wait"
"She said three to five days maybe even a week since they need Matthew dna and you know, he's dead" I took a sip of the wine glass. I needed something stronger than wine. I had a couple more glasses then I found Kia stash of alcohol so I poured me a couple more glasses since Rosen's down for the night. Kia was being supportive per usual
"Did you know, Jovian attempted to be a hero and stop me from knocking those blonde teeth straight? Talking about how Kayden is close to death- I mean obviously. But he isn't dead! Which is good! I need to visit him. Did you know The more rosen grows up the more she doesn't look like Matthew, that's great but I mean weird, right?' I ranted about to throw the rest of my drink back before Kia took the glass
"That's enough for you" she poured it down the sink.
"You know. There's a chance they might win- I mean my high school records are enough to prove I'm unstable." I placed my face on the cold counter. "Kia. is it me or did you hear the door ring-" her face morphed to horror.
"Fuck! Ansel and Jovian were coming over and you're- well you're wasted."
I stumbled out of my chair. "Great" I burped "I can give him a piece of my mind
"No no no. Sober you will regret this, Don't kill him!" Kia shouted after me as I stumbled to the door. I took my fist and pounded on the door. "Hello???" I slurred
"Jesus Jules you're already in the house." Kia shook her head opening the door.
Maybe I should run away to Mexico and marry a knight and shining king... or queen
"She's drunk so don't provoke her." Kia said specifically to Jovian. I noticed the look Ansel gave her.
I leaned on Kia's shoulder feeling too weak to carry myself anymore. "You're the biggest dick head I've ever met-" I suddenly got a craving for ice cream. I started to walk to the kitchen, stumbling over my own two feet. I stepped on the rug about to fall straight forward.
"Careful" Jovian caught my elbow. I tried to shake my arm free. "Get off of me-" I gagged, my head leaned forward as all of it came out. I threw up on Jovian. "What the fuck!" He stepped back letting me stumble towards the floor
"Holy cow" I laugh hysterically as I fall to the floor. My eyelids suddenly felt heavy. "Night night" I mumbled my face on the floor.
♡︎
I woke up with a typical hangover. I turned in bed and dug my face into a pillow. Kill me now.
"Morning sunshine" Kia came into the room Happily.
"Go away." I mumbled, then I turned around curiously, "why are you so happy?"
"Ansel asked me on a date" She squealed hopping up and down as I covered my ears.
"Couldn't your whorish activities wait till I woke up?" I smiled, truly happy for her, all I ever want to see is Kia truly happy.
Kia laughed "No it couldn't"
Kia somehow managed to get me out of bed. I walked down to the kitchen lazily, Jovian and Ansel were there.
"You threw up on Jovian" Ansel said with a mouthful of food laughing hysterically.
I shrugged, "well deserved" I glanced at Jovian and he flicked me off. . "Has rosen been up?"
"She's still asleep" I nodded, fixing me a pot of coffee. I turned around and they were all staring at me. "What?" I asked, agitated.
"Stop staring at her" Kia scowled Ansel. Then Jovian. Kia came over to the coffee maker. " was pretty wild- you woke up after a while and was completely wilding. You also drunk dialed one of your long time exs." I dropped the coffee mug.
"which one??!!" I'm shocked, I'm going through the five stages of grief. All of my relationships ended horribly. This can't be good
"Jesus Jules." Kia motioned to her mug . "I don't think he picked up the phone.."
"I'm going to go die " I panicked leaving the kitchen quickly.
♡︎
I finished writing in my journal, now that they've left I went down stairs. I started baking which I'm finding therapeutic. I'm making little cupcakes that's shaped into a pink heart. I put a cup of chocolate chips, the pink dye and some of the other ingredients.
"What are you making.?" Kia came down stairs in her scrubs. "Cupcakes. Trying not to lose my sanity" I said, placing the pan in the oven. Rosen started putting chocolate in her mouth. It was melted chocolate so what could hurt? Except maybe a mess-
"You know what. I think you need to start baking more often" She said, licking the spoon. I need to. I dusted the flour off my hands "when's you and Ansel date?"
"Next week when everything blows over, all of our nerves are bad" I get it. "I gotta head out, I have a surgery to take care of so I'll be back tomorrow morning, Jovians coming by to use my home gym. He doesn't want the paparazzi to see him." I shrugged knowing I'll most likely be in bed watching something with Rosen.
When the cupcakes finished Rosen trief to eat the frosting but I don't think she's fully developed enough to eat it. Laying in bed I just got off the phone with Kayden. He's being released soon and wants me to come see him.
I put Rosen down for her nap and wandered down the stairs. Turning the corner I ran into a sweaty chest. Not just a chest, Jovian chest.
"Watch it prick" I wiped my face disgusted. After gaining focus my eyes went from his sleeve of tattoos to his scar on his shoulder, the long defined scar.
"My bad- where are the towels?" I walked toward the closet Kia keeps in the back with towels, loofahs and rags.
I opened it and took out a towel, when I turned around Jovian was right in front of me. "Here" I whispered, feeling flustered by how close we were.
"I'm sorry Jules" Here it starts. "I'm sorry for how I made you feel-I don't know how to tell you how I feel around you" I took a step back to the closet, Jovian slowly trapping me. "Jules you're all I think about." I could feel his breath feathering my face
I laughed out loud, most likely ruining the moment. I clutch my stomach hurting from laughter "I'm sorry you just sounded like a stalker when you said that" I caught my breath.
"Jovian. That was- nice I guess. But I was serious when I said I'm done-" I was cut off by his lips on mine. I was caught by surprise. I wrapped my hand around Jovian's neck , slowly kissing him back. Lust filled the room as I kissed him passionately, I didn't want to stop. I couldn't stop. I enjoyed the way his tongue danced with mine. The way his hands felt around my waist pulling me in. His lips tracked down to my neck, I openly tilted my head to give him more access. I loved the way his lips felt everywhere.
I let out a small moan trying to keep quiet. "We shouldn't-" I mumbled out of breath as Jovian stared into my eyes. We both wanted the same thing, only he was waiting for permission. "We should stop," He whispered, against my lips.
I nodded to stunned to say any word, The one nod was enough for Jovian to pick me up and pin me against the closet. my legs wrapped around his waist instantly. He went back to kissing my neck as his warm hand traveled up my hoodie. I closed my eyes feeling tensed. A bad feeling overcame my stomach.
"Get off of me" I cried out kicking and screaming as Matthew undid my pants. "Stop!" I kicked and screamed but his hand covered my mouth. Tears ran down my face. He didn't stop. He wouldn't stop.
I closed my eyes trying to numb the pain. I suddenly felt disgusted with myself. Everywhere Jovians touched me Matt and a few other guys touched unwillingly.
"Please get off of me"
"Help me!"
I blinked and saw Matthew's disgusting smile.
I opened my eyes and I was huddled up in a corner. "Jules I'm so sorry I thought you wanted the same thing- fuck I must've read the signs wrong" tears fell from my eyes. I couldn't stop shaking and I felt bad for Jovian. Without another word I did what I do best. I ran upstairs ignoring his calls after me and locked myself in the room. I slid down the wall bringing my knees to my chest. And I cried.
I cried because I can't stop thinking about the night Rosen was conceived. I can't stop thinking about the time other men have touched me without permission. I can't stop thinking about how much I desired the Jovian touch but I couldn't enjoy stopping thinking about the times I was assaulted.
I can't breathe. I can't hear anything but my cries from that night. I watched as it got dark outside. I've been sitting here for hours.
"Jules honey. Open up" Kia voice.
"Jules, are you okay in there?" Ansel voice
"Jules, I'm so sorry if I did something wrong. Please talk to me" Jovian voice.
I heard their voices over the hours. I got my phone and dialed Alison's number. I ran to her for some more hours then when Rosen got up thankfully I had a bottle already in the room so I gave her that then played around with her. Talking to Alison made me feel better, she said that this is normal and that I should talk to Jovian about how I feel and why I felt that way, or maybe he'll already understand. But the most important thing she said was that this wasn't my fault. It's a natural reaction because of what I've been through.
Soon I put Rosen down for bed and was right beside her as she fell asleep. I soon allowed myself to get some sleep
A/n
That scene lowkey hurt..
But when jules started laughing at jovian words was funny cause 😭 that sounded like some Joe Goldberg shit.
Have any of y'all seen You?