✧ Reviewer :: Siya_Stark3000
✧ Reviewee :: -vvalen
✧ Book :: Night & Thorns
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◖Basics :: 12 | 20◗
⚘ Cover :: 03 | 05
◍ Cover was good. It gave information about the author's name and the story's title quite well. Yet, the text of the author's name and especially the subtitle was too miniature to be read properly. I suggest to increase their size. Also, you can add more elements and font style to your cover. The glow effect on the text was good, but the vibes were off. It didn't give vibes of something related to Greek gods. More like dark romance and royalty. So, you can modify the cover a bit.
⚘ Synopsis :: 03 | 05
◍ Synopsis was informative. Yet, it needs a certain style in presentation. The use of capital letters looked a bit off. I suggest you use different fonts for the sentences with capitalization, if you want to highlight them. Writing elements like line barriers and various font styles could help you improve your presentation. The blurb needs a bit of organization. Your style to use character introduction as line barriers was quite unique, but it genuinely broke the flow. So you should try a different approach to represent your blurb according to me.
⚘ Title :: 03 | 05
◍ Title was simple and suitable. I think there was a subtitle on the cover by the author, but I couldn't read it clearly. So maybe you can modify that in the cover. But other than that, it was all good.
⚘ Execution :: 03 | 05
◍ The cover and blurb can be modified a bit. I lovedthe vocabulary and description done by the writer. It flowed out beautifully.Yet, I think at places the abrupt information and change in character behavior,made it confusing. Especially with Zeus and Hera. The readers could find itquite difficult to judge the characters and it's traits. It needs some editing,but overall I think the story has great potential.
○ Plot & Creativity :: 09 | 10
◍ The plot was something new and different in Greek mythology. Something unique from gods and heroes. I loved the way the author drafted the plot adding their excellent imagination and creativity in it. Starting from Octavia's birth to the journey to earth. Everything was sequenced well, but abrupt change in scenes made it a bit difficult to follow. Nonetheless, it was great.
○ Writing Style :: 05 | 10
◍ Though the draft became clearer as it progressed,there was no such thing as writing style in the story. Except the wellorganized parts and chapters. The writing style of the prologue was extremelyjumbled and confusing. It has many typos and dialogues needed to be separated.You can make your own writing style which would be the same throughout thestory. As in, starting the chapter with a banner or a quote, ending with aspecific banner and such. Using line or graphic barriers. This can improve yourdrafting though it is good. Use of writing tools and organizing the flow andall.
◖Grammar & Vocabulary :: 13 | 20◗
⚘ Grammar :: 06 | 10
◍ Grammar needs to be focused upon. The capitalization of letters were random and there were quite a bit of typos. There were random punctuation mistakes throughout the chapters. Though nothing was major, the minor grammatical errors can hinder the flow and can make readers confused. I suggest you screen through your draft of best, approach an editor from community or personal shops.
⚘ Vocabulary :: 07 | 10
◍ The vocabulary was good. There were many Greekmythology related words. Yet, I would suggest you to use different synonyms,adjectives and try to add some Latin English too. Overall, vocabulary needs abit of personal touch. But it is good regardless.
○ Emotions Conveyed :: 07 | 10
◍ Emotions were conveyed well. But they were quite bizarre at places. There were abrupt changes in behavior and emotions of the characters, which made it a bit difficult to judge the characters. At places they were detailed, while at some, they were not. The detailing was a bit random. It needs a kind of flow to it. A proper way of description is needed. Other than that, the emotions were cool.
○ Character Development :: 07 | 10
◍ Characters were described beautifully. Their hair, skin and features were gorgeous. I could literally imagine them. I would like to suggest you to introduce the characters and about them in the story itself. The character introduction at the start felt like an information dump. Readers are bound to forget the traits as the story will progress like that. The graphics were cool. The characters were responsive and felt alive. The pace of character development looked a bit random. Flow needs to be focused on. I loved Octavia nonetheless. Character is was surely present, though it needs a bit of a brush-up.
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Total :: 53 | 80
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