EPISODE 4: Heartbreaker
November 20th 2008, ‘Un-break My Heart’
I wanted to believe her. I really did. I understand that she broke my heart but I wanted to believe that she liked me; I wanted to forget the pain. I wanted to give her the chance to un-break my heart, just like that Toni Braxton song. But it was difficult. Every time I saw her face, A rush of mixed-emotions flowed through me. One part of me said:
‘Alright, she might of broken my heart but everyone deserves a second chance.’
While another part of me said:
‘She broke your heart, nothing can help that, no matter what she does, she already made the mistake, what will stop her from breaking it again?’ Conversations with her were getting ever more awkward. It was just an awkward silence, her eyes would look into mine, and mine into hers, I would try to pick up some words, but no sound could escape me. The only time we could have a proper conversation is when we text each other.
Her: ‘Hey, watsup’
Me: ‘Nufin, u?’
Her: ‘Nothn. So, Levi, r u plannin anything on Saturday?’
Me: ‘No, y?
Her: ‘Coz… I wanna go out… with u!’
Me: ‘Sorry Angie, Can’t com’
Her: ‘Its k! So…’
Me: ‘Wat u doin?’
Her: ‘Nothin’ Hey, do u like rain?’
Me: ‘No, its annoyin, y?’
Her: ‘Oh, coz its rainin at my house’
Me: ‘Its okay to meditate in it but its annoying’
Her: ‘Yea, I lyk dancing in the rain…’
We can talk about almost anything, were we a perfect match? I wouldn’t know. But I had to break the awkward barrier between her and me and I was going to do it at school.
When I arrived at school, there was a bunch of students in class, they were all giggling. They were all in a circle, and she was in the middle. I was searching for something to say, something that won’t make me look like a prick.
“Hey, Angie!” I said.
“Yea, Hi Lee!” she said back. She walked over to hug me and I let her. When she pulled from the hug her face was inches away from mine, she was biting her lower lip, staring straight into my eyes. She leaned closer to me and…
Rule 3: Kissing A Girl
I pulled back. I couldn’t kiss her; she stopped biting her lip and turned her lips into a smile.
“Well okay then,” she mumbled. Her voice was cracking, as if she wanted to cry.
“Look, I cant…’ she interrupted,
“Its okay, I cant force you to like me back,”
“Angelina, I erm, I…”
“You don’t have to explain yourself, I totally understand”
“Angie listen! I want to, but I cant”
“Why cant you!” Her voice was breaking, her face turned into a frown.
“Huh! Why cant you?”
She was starting to sob; my heart plummeted to my stomach.
I felt bad.
“I… I… I just cant, at least not now,”
“That’s just an excuse, a huge excuse, I really like you and if you still hate me please tell me cause I don’t want to get the wrong impression from you!”
I held her by the arms.
“I don’t hate you” I said softly but firmly.
“Prove it!”
“Why don’t you let me prove it somewhere else?”
“Where do you want to prove it?”
“This Saturday, you wanted to go out with me right?”
“Yeah…”
“So lets go out, to the movies or something, anything really,”
“Okay”
She started to smile again and wiped the tears off her face.
“How about we go to the movies, lets say seven o’clock?”
“Seven it is then” I pulled off a smile and she smiled back.
November 22nd 2008, ‘I can kiss away the pain’
The date was today. Was I going to kiss her? I had to. I couldn’t say I was going to prove it and wimp out last minute but I still had my mixed-emotions for her, could I really trust her again? I put on my black jeans and a white t-shirt. It was 6:58pm when I arrived, I dragged my feet towards the cinema and In the waiting room, she was there. A simple white shirt with a black jacket over and blue denim jeans, I liked simple. I walked over and then I realized that I must’ve looked like a complete knob with my arms swinging at my sides, so I pushed my hands into my pockets.
“Hi!” she called.
“Hi, So what movie should we see?”
“Maybe that one…” she pointed at the movie board.
“Slumdog Millionaire?”
“Yeah, that one, It’s a teen romance!”
“I don’t think we need anymore awkward!”
“C’mon Levi!”
“Okay!”
I paid for the tickets and we went to watch the movie. We got seats in the middle and we sat down. Neither of us bought any food, we knew what was going to happen.
We played a fun game of guessing the right answers but we only used that as an excuse. It was only at the end where we couldn’t hold the moment for longer.
“So…” she alleged
“So…” I replied
She twisted her head to face me. I was resisting the urge to turn my head. I gave in.
I looked in her eyes as she looked into mine. I leaned forward first, inches away from her lips, automatically my eyes shut. I was waiting for the moment, millions of thoughts were buzzing in my head. ‘Kiss her! Kiss Her’ my heart said, ‘No! No!’ my brain replied. I knew seconds from this moment I was going to kiss her. My heart was furiously thumping.
I felt her cold lips.
END OF EPISODE 4
Episode 5 coming soon