Jeongin didn’t confront the others about the situation until about two hours later after everyone had eaten dinner. He decided to ask Hyunjin first, considering he and Jisung had been enemies since day one. He was nervous to ask, of course. He didn’t want to be questioned about why he was asking. He knocked on Hyunjin’s door and waited for the older to tell him he could come in. Hyunjin called and Jeongin walked into the room.
“Hey Innie, what’s up?” Hyunjin asked. He was sitting on his bed drawing in his sketchbook.
“Nothing much, really I actually just had a question,” Jeongin said, playing with his hands as he was anxious to ask.
“Yeah sure, go ahead.”
“I was just wondering, um…why do you hate Jisung hyung so much…?” He asked the question quietly, his voice barely heard.
“You don’t like him either. I was assuming it was for the same reason as me,” Hyunjin said wit a small frown. “Why are you asking anyway?”
“Oh! Yeah, I don’t know, I was just curious I guess-” Jeongin rambled, the panic rising in his voice.
“Uh huh…well, he’s just annoying honestly. He gets on my last nerves and has since day one. He makes so many mistakes and just ruins things for the rest of the group. He has since even before we debuted. That’s how he is. He’s pathetic and it’s sad. He brings barely anything to the table,” Hyunjin ranted. It was clear he was getting angrier the more he spoke.
“I understand…ok, I was just wondering. Thanks, hyung,” Jeongin said, wanting to get out of the room as quickly as possible.
“Why do you hate him then?” Hyunjin asked.
Jeongin sighed a little and turned to face his hyung. “Do you want the truth?” He asked.
“Of course I do,” Hyunjin responded.
“Because I’m scared of what you all will do to me if I don’t,” Jeongin said before walking out of Hyunjin’s room and closing the door behind him.
Jeongin knew none of them had a valid reason for hating Jisung. He had seen it as he heard them talk about him. None of them ever brought up a specific event which made them start to dislike him. It was always very general things about Jisung. But hearing such a stupid response from Hyunjin just made him mad. He had a little hope that it would at least be something serious under all the general reasons but no. He thought it was pathetic, honestly. It was sad.
He decided to ask Bangchan as well, knowing that the leader was an overall influence for him and Felix so maybe he was an influence for others like Seungmin and Changbin. He found Bangchan in the recording studio alone. Changbin was taking a break. He knocked on the door before walking in, not wanting to interrupt a recording or anything. Once Bangchan called back, Jeongin walked in.
“Hey, what’s up?” Chan asked as Jeongin walked into the studio.
Bangchan motioned for Jeongin to sit down, but he shook his head and stayed standing. He didn’t want to be in there for longer than he had to be.
“I just had a question,” Jeongin said.
“Shoot then.”
“Why do you hate Jisung hyung so much?” He asked, less nervously than he asked Hyunjin.
“I’d assumed you knew but I guess we all have different reasons for disliking him. Well, he lets things get in the way of work. He lets his emotions cloud his mind and it causes him not to put his best foot forward. It takes a toll on how much time we have to do things since he’s one of the main producers, you know? He doesn’t attend the fansigns because of his anxiety which I just don’t get. He decided to be an idol, he knew what to expect. And now he just lets it get to him. If he keeps acting like this, it’ll get him kicked out, you know,” Bangchan explained. His tone was calm and he didn’t seem angry at all.
Jeongin was a mix of shocked and angry. Yes, he was happy Bangchan had more of a valid reason than Hyunjin’s general disliking, but Bangchan’s reason was so close minded. Anxiety wasn’t black and white and it seemed like Bangchan didn’t understand that. However, he didn’t say anything and just let it be.
“Right, I understand. Thank you, hyung,” Jeongin said, quickly walking out the room and shutting the door behind him.
Jeongin went back to his own room after speaking to the two. He didn't want to ask anyone else. He knew Jisung probably wanted to know Felix's reasoning the most, but he was scared of Felix right now. After seeing the way Felix treated Jisung, he was scared that even the mention of the Malaysian boy would send Felix off.
Soon everyone went to bed for the night, it being around 12am. Jeongin went into the kitchen and grabbed some leftovers from dinner that evening and brought two plates to Jisung's door. He knocked lightly with his foot.
"Hyung, it's Jeongin," The younger whispered.
There was silence for a bit before the door opened. Jisung seemed a little better. he had cleaned himself up. Jeongin smiled seeing the older and walked in with the two plates.
"Here, hyung. you're looking a lot better!" Jeongin said as he passed the plate to Jisung.
"Yeah, I decided to actually do some self care. I'm feeling a little better with you around," Jisung answered as he took the plate and sat down.
"That's good! and I got two answers from Hyunjin and Bangchan hyung," Jeongin said, sitting down next to Jisung.
"May I ask what they said?"
"Bangchan hyung said that you let your emotions get in the way of things and it slows the group down. As a leader I can understand why he'd be worried about that, but it seems like he sees anxiety as such a black and white thing. it's almost like he was saying 'just stop being anxious,'" Jeongin answered.
"I wish it was that simple," Jisung said with a small frown.
"Hyunjin hyung was really vague and stupid. he said you get on his nerves and mess up too much. Everyone makes mistakes! that's a dumb reason to hate someone!" Jeongin rambled a little, his face going red with anger.
"It's ok, Innie," Jisung said, rubbing the younger's back.
"No! it's not! and then he has the AUDACITY to ask me why I don't like you! like I would have a better reason or something!?" Jeongin ranted, his voice getting louder and more angry.
"Innie-"
"So you know what I told him? I told him the truth! I told him I'm afraid what they'd do to me if I-" he cut himself off, his eyes widening with realization.
"Jeongin?" Jisung asked, noticing he stopped.
"shit!! Shit shit shit!" Jeongin started to panic, his hands shaking as he stayed staring at them with wide eyes.
"Hey, Innie hey it's ok," Jisung tried to calm the younger down.
"No, I did exactly what I said I wouldn't! if Hyunjin hyung tells the others they'll rip me to shreds!" Jeongin said through his heavy breathing.
"It's ok! just play it off as a joke-? maybe be extra mean to me tomorrow to prove yourself?" Jisung offered.
Jeongin couldn't respond. He was panicking too much. Jisung tried his best to guide Jeongin through the panic attack but he couldn't do it alone. He knew he needed to get someone. He moved Jeongin out of his room and into the kitchen, knowing if the members saw Jeongin in his room they'd get suspicious. After that, he ran to Bangchan's room and knocked on the door. no response. The older was already asleep. He did the same for everyone else except Felix but to no avail. they all had fallen asleep already.
He looked back at Jeongin still panicking on the kitchen stool he sat in and back at the door to Felix's room. He was more concerned for Jeongin than whatever Felix would say to him. He knocked on Felix's door and spoke.
"Felix!" he whispered yelled. "I need some help!"
"Who is it?" Felix asked from behind the door.
"It's Jisung, I know you wouldn't want to help me but it's about Jeongin."
There was no response for a bit before the door opened and Felix appeared with an annoyed expression. "what?"
"Yeah yeah, you hate me. Wipe that look off your face," jisung snapped slightly. "Jeongin is having a panic attack and I can't help him alone. He won't listen to me. I thought he'd pay more attention to one of you guys cause…you know he hates me too. but everyone else is sleeping," Jisung explained.
Felix tilted his head in confusion, Jisung was speaking really fast for Felix who was half asleep to keep up. Jisung groaned and took Felix's hand, leading the Australian over to Jeongin.
"Innie, I brought Felix. maybe he can help," Jisung said as he sat next to Jeongin.
"Oh- Innie!" Felix perked up seeing the state Jeongin was in.
Felix sat down on the other side of Jeongin and took his hand, squeezing it gently. Jisung rubbed Jeongin's back while Felix talked to him, attempting to soothe him back into a serenity.
"It's ok, Innie, you'll be ok. you're safe now, nothing's going to hurt you," Felix assured the younger.
It took a bit of time, but eventually Jeongin's breathing started to even out. He looked up and saw Felix holding his hand and he got a little scared. The fear in his eyes was obvious as Felix moved his hands away.
"I'm not going to hurt you, Innie, it's ok," Felix assured.
Jeongin just nodded and pulled his hands to his lap and played with them with his head down.
"What happened?" Felix asked.
"Oh…uh, I just got carried away thinking about some comeback stuff," Jeongin lied.
"Oh! you'll do amazing, Innie. you're so talented! Don't be scared Stays will love you, I promise," said Felix.
Jeongin smiled a little and nodded. He looked between Jisung and Felix. "Thank you, hyungs but I should go to sleep now that I feel better. Goodnight," he said before standing and going to his room.
Felix and Jisung were left alone sitting at the kitchen island in silence. Jisung looked down at his hands and Felix looked at random kitchen appliances. It was awkward silence before Felix spoke up.
"How did you know he was panicking?" he asked.
"I heard him crying from my room," Jisung lied.
"Oh…"
The awkward silence continued for a little while before Felix stood up and went around the kitchen island. Jisung looked up to watch him as Felix started to make some ramen. The silence turned from awkward to comfortable as they listened to the sound of boiling water. When the noodles were done, Felix put them in a bowl with chopsticks and slid it over to Jisung.
Jisung looked at Felix in surprise but Felix gave him an emotionless look back. "Eat." he said before walking away, going back to his room.