【𝐒𝐈𝐗𝐓𝐘 𝐎𝐍𝐄】
*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*
HIMARI WAS THE LAST ONE TO ENTER THE TENT where the meeting between Paradis and Marley was to take place. It was the largest of all the olive-green tents that had been set up, with a wooden table placed in the middle. Three old, somewhat splintered chairs donned either side of the table, which was covered in a vast array of weapons and thick papers. The people inside the tent were bathed in a faint, yellow glow as a result of the dim lantern hanging from the canvas ceiling.
Himari wrinkled her nose faintly at the slight musty smell that accompanied the tent, due to the lack of use. Both Yelena and a handsome man whose name Himari did not know nodded politely at the girl when she entered the tent.
"Everything went okay?" Hange asked when Himari saluted respectfully at them. She didn't have to, but Himari figured it was important to keep up appearances in front of their guests - especially so when it came to reminding the visitors from Marley who was in charge and who they would be answering to if they stepped out of line.
"All sorted, Commander. He's with the others now."
"Good. Thank you. Please take a seat." Hange turned to their two guests as Himari pulled out the chair beside Levi and sat down in it, placing her hands in her lap.
"This is our other Squad Leader, Himari Feuerbach. Himari, this is Yelena and Onyankopon."
Himari gave the pair a nod of her head, but there was no sign of the casual warmth that donned her face whenever she spoke to Eren or any of her friends. These people were strangers from an outside land - she trusted them about as much as she trusted the Military Police. Which was not at all.
"Welcome to Hell," she greeted them. "Glad you made it."
The corner of Yelena's lip quirked up in a small smile, eyes sparkling with something Himari couldn't quite pinpoint.
"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Himari. I've heard much about you." Himari's eyes narrowed as she stared at Yelena shrewdly. A few heavy seconds passed in silence, before Hange cleared their throat. Himari looked away from the tall blonde, eyes landing on the man sitting across the table from her.
To her surprise, he smiled kindly at her. Her suspicious expression faded momentarily, not having expected him to look at her with such warmth on his face. She merely nodded at him in response.
"Tea, Himari?" Hange offered, but Himari shook her head.
"No, thank you."
"Well, now that everyone's here, let's move on, shall we?" Yelena said smoothly. Himari listened quietly as she and Onyankopon began to break down the number of weapons on the table in front of them, giving the three Paradisians a thorough explanation as to how they worked.
Himari sucked on her front teeth as Hange raised one of the hand-held guns to their good eye, peering down the barrel of it, which was pressed right up against their goggles.
Himari was tempted to tell them to try not to shoot themself in the eye, considering they only had one good one left, but decided to stay quiet, not wanting to seem unprofessional. The sheer wonder in Hange's voice, however, blew all hopes of keeping up their appearances.
"Ahh! I see! THat's how it shoots a bunch!" The familiar click, click, click of bullets moving around in the chamber caused Himari to tense, her shoulders rising instinctively. She folded her arms over her chest, copying Levi sitting beside her in an attempt to mask her discomfort around the guns. Misreading Himari's expression as interest, Yelena gestured to the gun on the table in front of her.
"Please feel free to pick it up and have a look if you're curious. The safety is on, so pulling the trigger won't bring you any harm. I would advise against doing it anyway, however."
Himari resisted the urge to look over at Levi for permission. Instead, she reached out and picked up the gun, running her hands over the smooth, black exterior. She popped open the chamber and counted the number of rounds in it, before snapping it shut and peering down the butt of the gun.
"Interesting..." she murmured, before lowering the gun once more. "So the revolving cylinder automatically moves the next bullet into place for you, then?"
Onyankopon nodded.
"That's right. You only have to reload the gun once it's empty."
It was a far cry from the clunky, military-grade rifles that they had been using on Paradis for the last one-hundred years. Marleyan weaponry was much more advanced than what they were used to. Himari knew that they would be able to pump them full of lead before she even had a chance to knock a bullet into one of their own guns if fighting ever broke out.
"That's standard-issue in Marley," replied Yelena, who lifted a white, porcelain cup full of steaming tea to their lips. "The Marley army has twenty-thousand soldiers per division. With fifty divisions, that's one-million soldiers."
Himari rose an eyebrow. Compared to the branch of ten that the Survey Corps had once been, having a military force of over one million soldiers seemed almost impossible.
"There's also the navy with three fleets, each comprised of twenty-one battleships. They've made tremendous progress in new weapons and aerial warfare as well."
"Aerial...?" Hange trailed off, a nervous lilt to their tone that Himari privately agreed with. Levi, however, only clicked his tongue irritably. Himari heard the faint sound of leather colliding with leather and knew that he had kicked Hange under the table.
"In other words, mobile weapons that can go beyond seas and walls, allowing the enemy to appear from the sky." Hange pushed their chair back and slammed their hands down on the table with shock.
"Huh?! From the sky?!"
"Oi." Levi's warning went ignored.
Himari glanced over at the dark-haired man beside her. She didn't miss the apprehension that glittered in his dark, gunmetal-grey eyes as they exchanged a hidden look of concern.
She knew that their worry was coming not only from the sheer size of the Marleyan military, which outranked the survey corps over a thousand to one at this rate, but because they both understood just how severely lacking they were when it came to modern technology and weaponry. Their ODM gear was good, but swords would do nothing against weapons that could shoot ten bullets at once without reloading.
"If Marley has all of that power... why has a year passed without them launching a proper attack on us?"
"Not to mention Marley's also in possession of five of the Nine Titans, if my math is right. They could have decimated us five times over by now." Yelena peered at Hange and Himari over the rim of their teacup before she set it down on the table in front of her.
"There are two main reasons." She laced her fingers together. "First, the 'pure titans' they unleashed here make landfall difficult, even with the latest and greatest weapons. While originally a policy meant to confine the Eldians inside the walls, this now protects the Eldians from an advancing Marleyan army, ironically enough."
"Yeah," Levi muttered turbulently. "How about that."
"But," Yelena continued, as though she hadn't heard Levi, "Day is about to break. The titans should be active again soon. So if you're content to sit here drinking tea beyond the walls... that means you've killed all the pure titans on the island."
Yelena's gaze passed over Hange, then Levi, and then finally landed on Himari. Her expression hadn't changed, except for the heightened suspicion that seemed to darken her already shadowed eyes of dull gold.
"Perhaps," she replied smoothly. "Or maybe we've decided to utilise their insatiable hunger and turn them into weapons, just in case Paradis' visitors become... not so friendly."
Yelena peered closely at Himari, before a small, unreadable smile broke out on their face.
"After all the bad blood between Eldia and Marley, your lack of trust in Marley is more than understandable. However, if it is true that you have managed to eliminate all the pure titans on the island, I can promise you that we have no interest in informing Marley of these recent developments. In fact, I must say I'm rather awed."
Himari tilted her head back slightly as she held Yelena's eye contact. The woman's smile merely grew. Discomfort caused goosebumps to arise on both Levi and Hange's skin, not quite liking the way that Yelena was eyeing the white-haired girl.
"What's the second reason?" The silence was interrupted by Hange. Yelena watched Himari for a few more seconds before she finally looked away, choosing to station her gaze on the Commander instead. Levi glanced over at Himari as she exhaled quietly through parted lips.
She caught Levi's narrowed gaze and sent him a subtle nod of her head, understanding his wordless question. She was fine.
"Because Marley has entered into a state of war with an alliance of several other nations, they've got bigger things to worry about in other words. Though you should know that this war started in the first place because of you," Yelena began, lacing her fingers together once more with a unified kind of dignity.
"The Armoured Titan. The Beast Titan. You routed the Warrior Unit, the pride of Marley. The Colossal Titan. The Female Titan. You stole some of their key weapons. Marley is a nation with many enemies. Other countries came together in the blink of an eye and then the war began."
Himari rose an eyebrow, picking up on the way that Yelena used 'their' and 'they', rather than 'us', as though they didn't associate themselves with the likes of Marley.
"So that means your group isn't loyal to Marley. If you guys are secret agents who infiltrated Marley, I'm guessing you came from conquered nations?" There was a prominent silence that rang heavy through the tent. Hange's face visibly brightened, red appearing in their cheeks as a proud grin worked its way onto their face.
"Whoa, I was right?! If you're willing to betray Marley, you must have some pretty powerful motivations and backers."
Yelena, who had picked up her teacup to take a sip of the steaming beverage inside it, placed it back down on the table before she leaned back in her chair.
"No," she hummed. "Calling us secret agents would be an overstatement. We're conscripts. Natives of lands that Marley invaded who were drafted. We were sure we'd never have a chance to oppose them. Until... we met him..."
Himari's shoulders stiffened uncomfortably at the sudden, heavy look on Yelena's face. Adoration sparkled in her eyes, akin to that of someone looking upon a god who had come to meet them in person. It made Himari's skin crawl.
"A titan known and feared by the world as a Devil, but he looked like something else entirely to me. A God. He took us in when we were powerless and showed us hope. We shot our officers under orders from Zeke Jaeger. We are the Anti-Marleyan Volunteers. Our goal... is to free the Eldian People."
Had Himari been drinking, she would have choked. Her eyebrows furrowed as anger ignited under her skin, sending sparks of hot-white heat flooding through her body.
"You've got to be fucking kidding me," she whispered under her breath. It seemed as though no one but Levi heard her, however, and privately, he agreed.
Yelena and Onyanopon were not blind to the sudden tension that had settled in the small tent. They both waited silently, eyes darting back and forth between the three sitting in front of them, for any signs of sudden hostility.
"I believe you know who Zeke Jaeger is?" Yelena asked
"That's one word for it," Levi muttered darkly. Himari folded her arms over her chest, closing herself off from the two strangers sitting in front of them. She had no interest in trusting them to begin with, but to hear that they were aligned with Zeke Jaeger - the man behind the giant, furry, ape titan who had not only killed Connie's entire family, Miche, Moblit and Erwin, but whittled the Survey Corps down to a total of ten - made her even less willing to attempt to do so.
Hange cleared their throat, face no longer expressing the delight that they had felt earlier.
"How exactly does Zeke Jaeger plan to free us?"
✧ ✦ ✧
When Himari finally left the tent, following the conclusion of the meeting with the Anti-Marleyan Volunteers, night had finally given way to the morning light of the rising sun, basking the world in a faint, golden glow.
She stretched out her back, feeling the joints in her spine pop satisfyingly as she reached her arms up over her head. Yelena and Onyankopon were the next to exit, followed closely by Levi and Hange behind them.
With the promise of peace on behalf of the Anti-Marleyan volunteers while they awaited Paradis' response to Zeke Jaeger's requests, all the volunteers and soldiers who had made it to the island would be given temporary work placement and residency. Yelena had believed that it would give the Marleyan soldiers a good chance to see how the people inside the walls lived for themselves.
Himari had a feeling that the Marleyan soldiers wouldn't take to living amongst devils as kindly as Yelena hoped that they would. Even from afar, it wasn't difficult to see the abhorrence that dirtied their glares every time someone from Paradis passed in front of them. Himari sighed.
"Hey," Hange said quietly as they stopped beside Himari, Yelena and Onyankopon a few strides in front of them. "You did good today."
Himari sent them a weak smile, but Hange saw right through it. They sighed, allowing Himari a glimpse at how just unhappy they seemed. Hange had just as many doubts about Zeke's requests as she and Levi did, though Hange had done a better job at disguising it.
"We'll have to let the brass know now, won't we? No way we're going to be able to hide this from them," Himari said as Levi joined the pair, arms folded over his chest.
"I'll call the meeting for tomorrow," Hange confirmed. Himari grumbled.
"Great. Another three hours listening to old men convince themselves they're the next dictator worthy of ruling the walls." Hange sighed, reaching up and patting Himari on the shoulder.
"It feels like that sometimes, doesn't it?"
The three stood in silence, watching as Yelena rounded up the Anti-Marleyan volunteers and began to explain what was going to happen to them over the coming weeks.
"If you don't need me for the rest of the day, I'll go speak to Shadis about taking some time off this week. I'll need to be there in a few days for the initiation though - he wants me there for that as we'll be starting the enrolment for the 108th." Hange nodded.
"Yeah, you said earlier. That's fine, we can work around that."
Himari sighed, stretching out her arms once more.
"Alright. I'll be back before dinner. With way too many fucking files," she grumbled to herself.
"If your paperwork is shit, I'll make you redo it," Levi warned threateningly. Himari snorted.
"Considering I learned how to write basic sentences only three years ago, you should be proud I know how to do paperwork at all," she replied. Levi squinted at her as she placed her hands on her hips, staring down at him.
"Cheeky shit. Get out of here, brat." He shooed her away, causing a small smile to rise onto her lips.
"See you tonight, Captain. Commander." With a final nod from the two, Himari turned on her heel and left, heading in the direction of Cisco, who was grazing on the springy, green grass under the tree where she had left him. She clicked her tongue, causing his head to rise.
"Hey, boy."
He pushed his nose into Himari's palm when she extended a hand, causing a small, tired smile to rise on her face. She sighed heavily, leaning her forehead against Cisco's nose as she took a moment to herself.
She let the small smile she'd plastered on her face finally drop, her cheeks numb with the effort to keep it in place. Her eyes fluttered shut, eyelashes brushing gently over the deep bruises that had stationed themselves permanently under her eyes. Her body hurt - and not in a good way.
She could feel a headache forming behind her temples and sighed as she pushed her fingertips against the tender skin in an attempt to quell the irritable pulsing.
Everything was changing so quickly and she knew it. The arrival of Marleyan soldiers on their island would not only bring an end to the temporary peace, but the start of a new era to Paradis. Already Yelena and Onyankopon had agreed to help bring modern-day society to them, so long as they agreed on the conditions that they had placed on the table.
Himari didn't like the fact that one of those conditions contained the signing of a permanent peace treaty with Zeke Jaeger, of all people.
"Hey, Himari?" Himari looked up, wiping a hand over her face when she heard Sasha calling for her. She cleared her throat and shook out her hands.
"Over here, Sash," she replied, curving her lips upwards into a smile when the girl finally showed her face.
"Oh, good you're still here. Is everything okay?" Himari hummed, nodding her head. She didn't trust herself to speak, in case all of her worries came tumbling out of her mouth.
Sasha squinted at her disbelievingly.
"What's up? I'm just about to leave to head to the Training Corps base." Himari avoided looking at her friend as she pulled herself up onto Cisco's back, settling herself down in the saddle.
"Can you steal me a baked potato while you're there?" Himari blinked, looking down at her friend as she opened and closed her mouth wordlessly.
"Can I... what?"
"Steal me a baked potato. You're like... one of the most important people in the Survey Corps now. No one's going to yell at you if you steal one potato." Himari couldn't stop the fake smile from falling from her lips, replaced quickly by a real one as she laughed sincerely.
"Shadis might. You remember what happened during our initiation four years ago, right?" Sasha blanched. Himari shook her head, her laughter quieting.
"I'll do my best."
Sasha brightened, a grin immediately growing on her pretty face as she beamed up at the white-haired girl.
"This is why you're my favourite. Don't tell Connie. He might try to fight you." Himari raised an eyebrow as she adjusted Cisco's reins in her hand.
"Oh yeah?" She hummed. "Pipsqueak can try."
Sasha waved to Himari as she started on her journey back to the walls, prompting another small, genuine smile from her. It only faded when the green tents finally disappeared from view and the salty smell of the pleasant, ocean air was replaced by the tangy scent of spring grass. The sun had well risen into the sky by now, illuminated the endless blanket of baby blue and white, sugar-spun clouds.
Knowing all too well the dangers that came with being alone with her thoughts, Himari did her best to keep her mind occupied by thinking about the newest cadets that would be joining the military that year.
She thought about the fact that she was amongst some of the last living people who would ever have the displeasure of seeing titans up close - feeling the pain that came with losing friends and family to them and experiencing the horrors that Marley had created. It was an odd kind of feeling.
Himari knew, however, that it was foolish to believe that they would never lay eyes on another titan again. She knew that Shadis would not change the training that he was putting the cadets through, despite the fact that the people across the sea were now their biggest threats.
But, while both she and Shadis had come to the agreement to keep the training more or less the same, Himari knew that it didn't mean Shadis wasn't taking Himari's opinions about possible adjustments into consideration.
To her surprise, he had not been at all been shocked when he had learned that Himari would be working under him as his Assisting Commandant. He'd laced his fingers together, watching her through beady, hawk-like eyes before he gave her a curt nod of his head.
"You always were one of the tough ones," he had said as he pushed himself up from the seat behind his desk, walking over to meet Himari in the middle of the room.
"I never got to see your soul break once during those three years you spent as a cadet." Himari had simply risen the corner of her lips into a half-smile.
She wouldn't tell him that was because it had broken years ago.
Instead, she shook his hand when he had extended it, exchanging a nod with the man. She'd spent the better half of three weeks with him, running through the training regiments he would be putting the next load of fresh cadets through. It was almost unsettling, the way she'd ended up on the other side of the training that she had been put through.
She had been given her own desk and her own cabin to spend the nights in, instead of having to make the trek all the way back to the Survey Corps Headquarters where she had been staying.
He didn't need to walk her through the training grounds, knowing that Himari still knew every inch of the place like the back of her hand.
It had come as a shock to Himari when Shadis had actually asked for her input on potential changes to make to the training regiments for the fresh cadets.
"We need to be stricter when it comes to hand-to-hand combat." She'd started straight off the bat with her biggest concern. She knew that while the training that they had done during their years as cadets had covered all of the basics, it was not nearly tough enough or thorough enough to ensure that it became not just something that they had learned, but second nature.
Shadis had leaned back in his chair at that, quirking an eyebrow at Himari's response. He had half-expected her to put forward the vote to remove hand-to-hand combat altogether.
"Why?" He had asked her. Himari set down the quill that she had been using to write notes on her copy of the training schedule Shadis had given her. She sighed.
"Hand-to-hand won't do anything in a weapon-heavy war, but thorough, proper training can instil reflexes that could very well be the difference between living and dying in a one-sided gunfight," she'd explained, lacing her fingers together on the desk in front of her. Shadis had pressed his lips together tightly as he examined the woman sitting in front of him.
"They'll think us fools for focusing on hand-to-hand combat and continuing to teach them about the correct ways to kill a titan." Himari smiled humorlessly.
"They will," she had replied. "But these are also the same people who are perfectly content with sitting behind the walls and waiting for us and their children to do the fighting for them, when the time comes. The opinions of simple-minded commonfolk who haven't truly grasped the severity of the situation because they haven't seen it for themselves, do not bother me."
Shadis had folded his arms over his chest as he leaned back in his chair, hawk-like eyes illuminated by the light of the lantern that swung faintly in the breeze that filtered in through the open window.
"Is that everything?" He asked. Himari shook her head.
"We may well have moved into a period of peace with Marley, but it won't last forever and these kids need to be ready when war eventually comes. Along with physical combat, we need to teach them how to shoot. I do agree that we should continue to teach the recruits how to kill a titan, should the time come that Marley decides to send more our way. But they're going to send people, too."
Shadis rose an eyebrow again.
"You believe the Government will provide the necessary funds that we will need to be able to provide the sufficient number of guns and ammunition we'll be handing out?"
"The Military Police will have an unhappy word or two to say about it, but if Zackly is smart, he'll understand that it's vital they learn to shoot not just stationary targets from ten metres away, but moving ones from a hundred yards away, too," Himari had finished leaning back in her chair once more.
Shadis had peered closely at Himari, then. He had noticed that there was something about the girl that hadn't been there the last time they had spoken - the day before the retaking of Shiganshina. She seemed older. More tired - shoulders heavy with the weight of responsibility that she was taking on. He couldn't see the bright sparkle in her eyes that had appeared somewhere around the halfway mark into her three years in the Cadet Corps.
She did not look the slightest bit pleased about the fact that they now had to teach children how to hone their abilities to shoot and kill humans. She knew all too well the scars that it left on the soul and the horrors that accompanied the blood that stained their hands. But Himari knew that that was why Erwin had chosen her to do this job in the first place - because she understood. She could turn children into soldiers - she could strip them of their innocence and break their spirits in a way that Shadis couldn't. She could prepare them for war.
Himari sighed heavily to herself upon seeing the first lot of empty training grounds in the distance. In just a few, short days, they would be filled once again with the next few hundred children with hope in their hearts and dreams in their heads. They had no idea that Himari was about to do her best to crush all of them.
She slid down off Cisco's back, landing gracefully on the dusty, sandstone ground that felt familiar under her feet. She guided Cisco over to the stables, giving him a large bucket of oats and fresh hay to satisfy his hunger after all the running he had been doing that morning. With a final pat on the nose, Himari exited the stables and walked towards Shadis' office.
She paused, eyes falling onto the door beside Shadis' and sighed quietly to herself once again upon knowing that the inside would contain possessions belonging only to her. If the doors had names on them, hers would have been plastered across the front of it in bold, black letters. Her office.
It was difficult to believe that less than four years ago, she had spent many days and many nights inside that very office, being scolded by Shadis for breaking curfew and leaving the campgrounds by sneaking out to the forest with her friends. Vivid memories of nights around the campfire, splashing each other in the stream and playing ridiculous games Connie and Sasha had come up with, swam through her head. The hint of a smile that donned her face vanished as quickly as it had appeared.
She took another two steps and raised a fist, knocking on Shadis' door.
"Enter."
Himari pushed it open, causing Shadis to look up at the familiar creaking of the rusty hinges. He leaned back in his chair at the sight of his protégé.
"Bad morning?" He asked, upon seeing the sheer exhaustion splashed across her face. She blew a piece of her white hair out of her face as she sunk down into the chair in front of his desk. She slung an arm over the back of it casually, settling herself comfortably in the seat in a way she knew she would have been terrified to do four years ago during her days in the Cadet Corps.
"That's... one of many words for it. Things are about to go to shit and luckily for us, we have front-row seats to the show. Our first visitors from Marley appeared. Once people find out, they're going to be furious." Shadis sighed, setting down the quill he had been writing with.
"We're going to end up with a shit storm of complaints once families find out we're still training their kids how to kill titans." Himari only grunted, pushing herself up in the seat as she leaned forward onto the desk, which was covered in manila folders and parchment paper.
"That's their problem, not ours," she muttered grumpily. "If they think they can do a better job at teaching their kids how to use ODM gear, then I'll happily give up my position to someone else."
About half an hour later, once Himari had finally stopped complaining to Shadis, who simply sat back and allowed her to do so, he dumped a box full of thick files onto his desk. She blanched at the heavy thudding noise it made when he dropped it onto the wood.
"Uh..."
"Every file for every enlistee across all four divisions." Himari picked up one of the files, nearly bursting into tears when she saw just how many papers were inside the folder. It seemed as though the Military had done an extreme background check on every person who had decided to sign up.
"And the files for the 105th, 106th and 107th?" She asked weakly.
"All cleared. The 105th are set to graduate next month without a problem." Himari sank back in her chair, relieved that she wouldn't have to help read through the other thousand or so files. She ran a hand through her white hair before tying it back away from her face.
"How many of them are interested in joining the Survey Corps?" She asked. Shadis ran a hand over his chin thoughtfully.
"A good fifty or so, out of all three classes at the moment." Himari hummed tiredly to herself.
"Well... I suppose it's better than nothing."
She took the box in her arms and transported it into her own office. Himari yelped, shaking her hands with a hiss of pain when she dropped the box on her fingers.
"Stupid fucking files," she grumbled to herself as she pulled out her chair and sat down in it. With what felt like the thousandth heavy sigh that day, she picked up the first file off the mountain sitting in front of her and opened it.
Written at the top of the page was the name of the enlistee, Christoph Meyer. He was thirteen years old and currently living with both of his parents in Ehrmich. Judging by the description given on the very front page of the file, Christoph Meyer was of a fairly average height for his age, standing at five-foot four, and weighing forty-five kilos. He had a blonde head of hair and hazel eyes, with fairly tanned skin that was littered with faint freckles. His birthday fell on the eighteenth of September.
A pleasure to meet you, Christoph Meyer, Himari thought to herself. Welcome to the beginning of the end of your life.
Himari started upon seeing her name written under Keith Shadis', on the part of the document that stated the name of the head trainers in charge of the division he would be joining. She ran her thumb over the dry ink, feeling an odd kind of weight settle in her chest when she realised that she really would be in charge of training the next generation of recruits.
She flicked through the rest of the documents, reading each line three times until she was certain there was nothing suspicious that stood out to her. By the time she'd made it through her tenth file, it was well into the afternoon and her stomach was aching from the lack of food she'd eaten.
Himari pushed her chair back and reached up, stretching out her back and her arms as she yawned widely. She stood up, pushing her chair back in before she closed the file belonging to Lucy Müller and dropped it down on top of the pile she had barely made a dent in. Her hand ached from signing her signature so many times - not that she actually had a signature. It was just a messy scrawl of her initials that looked slightly different every time she scribbled it. Black ink stained the side of her hand, to which she attempted - and failed - to rub off with the end of her cloak.
She had no idea how Levi was able to spend nights on end staring down at the endless words on the papers in front of him without complaining. It hadn't even been five hours and she was ready to fall asleep.
She knocked on Shadis' door before pushing it open for the second time that day.
"I'm heading off. I'll take the files with me - I have a desk in my room back at Headquarters, but Hange's going to need me around for the next few days."
Shadis gave a nod of his head.
"That's fine. I only need you here for the initiation and the first few days of training so the cadets are somewhat familiar with your face before you have to leave again." Himari rubbed at the crick in her neck as she nodded.
"Yeah, I've let them know, it won't be a problem."
After a few more minutes of idle conversation, Himari rose a hand and bid her old trainer goodbye, pausing only once to pick up the box before she made her way back out to the stables.
Cisco looked up upon hearing her call his name, eyes fluttering lazily with the sleep Himari had woken him from. She brushed through his mane and tail first, giving him time to wake up before she saddled him once more and pushed the heavy box up onto his back. She gave a small smile when Cisco huffed.
"Yeah, I'm with you on that one," she muttered, running a hand affectionately down his nose before she pushed herself up onto his back and settled herself into the saddle. Rather than setting off in a canter, she guided Cisco back to their temporary residency at a contempt walk.
She pulled her lips up into that painful smile whenever someone recognised her as she passed through the districts on her way back to headquarters. She raised her arm, waving her hand kindly as she passed by children who ogled at her, sitting tall on the back of the chestnut mare below her.
By the time she made it back to headquarters, the sun was beginning to set in the far-off distance. She stopped only once, to head into the bakery she had been visiting for a little over eight months at that point. The fake smile faded upon seeing Rune, the kind boy whose parents owned the bakery. A sincere happiness replaced the mask that she had well learned to hide herself behind by that point. He'd grinned upon seeing her, always enjoying when she entered the bakery wearing her green cloak with the Wings of Freedom plastered across the back of it.
And, just as usual, he had given her one of his famous cupcakes, stashing an extra one in the bag for her, which Himari always ended up paying for, despite how many times he had told her that it wasn't necessary. She thanked him, reaching out to ruffle his hair affectionately before she left with a wave.
Considering hadn't had a chance to pick up a steamed potato for Sasha, she figured that the cupcakes would make up for it.
Himari briefly greeted her friends in the dining hall when she picked up a bowl of soup and a loaf of bread for dinner, dropping the cupcakes into Sasha's lap, to which she started wolfing down without so much as another glance at anyone else on the table. With a fond roll of her eyes, Himari retreated to her office once more and settled herself behind her desk.
She placed her chin in her right palm as she picked up her quill, beginning to sign her name over and over on the ink-stained papers in front of her.
She had barely made it through one file before the door to her office opened, revealing Eren, who looked as though he had just had a shower. He closed the door behind him as he stalked over to the white-haired girl.
"Hey," he greeted quietly, leaning down to hug her from behind. He placed a kiss on her shoulder before resting his chin on it, looking down at her desk.
"It's weird seeing you do actual paperwork," he mumbled, pressing his cheek against hers as his eyes darted over the paper sitting on the stained wood of her desk. She hummed, feeling Eren's gaze watching her as she signed her name messily along the bottom of the paper before flipping it over and moving on to the next one.
"This is... by far the most boring thing I have ever done. Seriously." A small smile graced Eren's face as Himari groaned, throwing her head back. He tilted his head, beginning to kiss along the side of her neck gently. She sighed, her breath hitching in her throat when his hand crept down her sides and circled itself around her stomach.
"Come to bed," Eren murmured against her skin, leaving warm, open-mouth kisses along her pale flesh as he pulled the material of her turtleneck away from her skin.
"As much as I would love to... I have to make a start on these." She could feel Eren frowning against her neck and leaned into him, bringing a hand up to rest in his damp, hazelnut hair. She turned in her seat, bringing one hand up to cup Eren's cheek before she drew him in for a short, sweet kiss.
"I'll be there in a few hours okay?" Eren said nothing, causing Himari to roll her eyes before she leaned forward to kiss him.
"Four hours." Eren held up three fingers.
"Three." When Himari opened her mouth to argue with him, he leaned forward and slotted his lips against hers, swallowing the words that attempted to leave her lips. Her eyes fluttered shut as she tilted her head to the side when Eren deepened their kiss. Her mouth parted when Eren ran his tongue skillfully along her bottom lip before nipping it playfully with his teeth.
"Four hours," Himari whispered, eyes still closed when they drew apart for air. Eren kissed her again.
"Three and a half." His hand dipped under the material of her shirt and she shivered upon the sensation of his cool fingertips pressing into her warm torso.
"Eren." Eren swallowed Himari's breathy whisper of his name when he ducked his head down to capture her lips with his once more. His hand travelled up her side, revealing a strip of bare, ivory skin beneath the black shirt she had been wearing. Himari's breath stuttered when Eren's thumb brushed against the bottom of the bra she was wearing.
"Three and a half," he whispered again. Himari sighed against his lips.
The door flew open.
"Jaeger." Both Eren and Himari jumped apart as though they had been burned upon hearing the monotonous drawl of Captain Levi. Himari immediately pulled her shirt down, fighting to keep a straight face as embarrassed heat flooded her cheeks.
"Out."
"Yes, sir." He glanced over his shoulder once after he'd brushed past Levi, who was standing in the doorway of Himari's office with two teacups in his hand. Behind Levi's back, he held up three fingers and Himari rolled her eyes affectionately at him once more, the hint of a smile playing on her lips as she gave him a quick nod of her head.
She managed to catch a glimpse of a rare smile gracing his pretty face before Levi kicked the door shut behind him and walked over to Himari's desk. He pulled over a chair that had been sitting in the corner of her room after placing the two teacups on her desk, which she noticed were full of steaming hot tea.
"Not that I don't enjoy your riveting company, but uh... respectfully, what are you doing?" Levi pushed one of the teacups towards her as he sat down in the chair on the opposite side of her desk. It was unsettling to see Levi occupying the spot where she herself would typically be sitting, had they been in his office.
"Helping," he replied simply, holding his hand out in front of him.
"Huh?"
"Give me the files. I'll read through them, you sign." Himari opened her mouth to object, but found her heart warming when she realized that Levi had every intention of staying up with her to help her get through the files she was struggling to read by herself.
Instead, she pressed her lips together to conceal the small smile that threatened to grow on her face as she handed Levi the next file.
"Thank you," she said gratefully. He simply opened the file, not looking up at her once before he began to read.
"Next time, do that shit with Jaeger somewhere private so I don't feel the overwhelming urge to stab myself in the face."
"The door was closed. It was private, until you kicked it open."
"Lock your door next time."
"Sure, if I had a lock."
"Not my problem."
*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*
❝ you never should have fallen in love with me❞
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sorry if this chapter felt kind of rushed and clunky??