Beyoncé Giselle Knowles
Beyoncé isn't sure how fast she drove when Onika told her the address—she doesn't know how fast she ran down the sidewalk to get to said apartment—but she made it.
And she slowed down when she saw Onika sitting on the stairs looking down.
Beyoncé had to catch her breath as she sat down next to her.
It was silent besides the wind, and Beyoncés heavy breaths. She looked over to Onika—who was still looking down while seemingly hugging herself.
"We should—get out of here." Beyoncé announced, there was a park near by. She doubted Onika actually wanted to sit here infront of Safarees apartment.
The shorter girl just got up and kept her head down, following Beyoncé to her car.
Beyoncé didn't know what to say—or what to start with. She was worried about Onika—but Beyoncé didn't know if Onika wanted her talking considering what went down earlier between them.
She drove silently to the park—not many people were occupying it and she walked to a more secluded area with benches.
She looked back ever so often to make sure Onika was still there—and she was. Not saying a word—not sharing so much as a damn glance. Beyoncé wanted her to say something so bad as they sat on the bench together.
So she waited.
She watched cars past, she occasionally glanced over to Onika just to make sure she was still there—and she ignored how cold the bench was under her bottom.
She listened to the rustling of leaves and bushes around them—being a victim of the whistle like wind.
Beyoncé herself was nervous, a feeling she didn't experience all that much till she met Onika. She was outspoken, she said whatever she wanted whether that was good or bad—and she was rarely nervous. Atleast in her adult years.
But she felt so much tension sitting next to a girl who used to barely speak to her.
She so desperately wanted to hear Onikas voice, for her to say she's okay—that nothing terrible happened—that she isn't mad at Beyoncé for her mouth that can never keep fully shut.
"So..did you like—talk to him?" Beyoncé asked timidly. Referring to Safaree.
She watched Onika keep her head down.
"Y-Yeah." It was soft, barely above a whisper.
She didn't give much detail after that response which had Beyoncé worried. She sounded so panicked on the phone—and here she was so—quiet.
And holding her wrist.
.
.
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Onika Tanya Maraj
Onika knocked on the apartment door, she had requested to meet Safaree today—to discuss what she's been wondering recently.
Beyoncé was still on her mind—she was so conflicted about what happened.
She was nervous—she liked to think Safaree was a good person—but that's how she naturally saw everyone once she got to know them on a surface level.
She wanted to believe Beyoncé, Kelly, Michele—all of them.
Onika wasn't stupid.
She knew if multiple people were saying the same thing there was a chance it may be true—but she knows by experience it always isn't. She wants to give him a free trial.
The door opened, revealing Safaree who's face lit up asoon as she saw the girl before him. "Onika! Welcome." He said letting her in and she gave him a nod.
"You want something to eat? Or drink?" He asked and she shook her head.
"I-I don't plan being here f-for long." She muttered. He shifted, "Oh? What's..up then?" He asked. He was genuinely curious—he thought she wanted to hang out and then maybe he'd get lucky.
"I-I have a question." Onika stated. She didn't look him in his eyes till she actually asked said question.
Onika felt his eyes burning into the side of her face.
"Do—d-do you—s-see me as anything more than a uh—a friend?" Onika asked looking up at him and his eyes widened before a smile settled on his face.
"Well that's definitely a question." He said nursing his chin with his hand, directing his eyes at the girl in front of him.
"I-It's a serious question." Onika expressed. But Safaree couldn't really take her all that seriously.
"Well..if you really want an answer.." He trailed off.
"Then yeah. I do—I like you. You're cute as hell." He stated and her eyes widened. She felt her heart rate pick up before sighing.
"S-So what Yonce said was..true." She mumbled. Safaree knew the girl was quiet, that's why he always kept an ear out. And he heard exactly what she said.
"Yonce? As in Beyonce?" He asked placing both of his hands on his kitchen Island. He scoffed before sucking his teeth.
Safaree didn't like Beyoncé for a number of reasons but—that was a known fact. Beyoncé didn't like Safaree—everybody knew that.
But Safaree liked Onika.
And he was dammed if Beyonce was going to get in the way.
"Wanna know a funny thing—about Beyoncé?" Safaree asked in a condescending tone. Onika looked up at him—she was curious what he was about to tell her.
"W-What?" She asked and he smirked.
"She's a hoe. Like a complete hoe.There's no real reason you should listen to her bullshit. But for once she was right." He stated.
"S-She called you the same thing. And said you wanted to.." She trailed off and his eyes own widened. He clicked his tongue.
"First, I'm not a hoe. And I don't fuck with girls hearts and leave them when I'm done. That's all that bitch does. You shouldn't listen to any shit she actually says." He countered.
"Beyoncé—sleeps with people for fun. For her to even call me that is hypocritical. I saw her leaving the girls dorm a few weeks ago." He said and Onika never liked hearing these things.
She's heard about Beyonces personal life—mostly from Safaree—she always wondered why girls would stare at her from time to time when she was near Beyoncé.
"T-That's none of my business." Onika said quietly. She didn't like hearing about Beyonce sleeping with other people—it made her feel—weird.
"Oh please Onika. Look— I like you. That's true. Don't ruin this because Beyonce wants to be some bitch." He scoffed.
"D-Don't call her that." Onika said and he grinned at the slight defensiveness evident in her demeanor.
"Don't call her what she is? She's an asshole. A bitch. Who says whatever she wants regardless of peoples feelings-You've got to know this by now." He said stalking closer to her. Onika stayed in her spot.
"I know she's hurt your feelings before. Today couldn't had been the first time. Why are you defending someone who probably doesn't give two actual shits about how you feel?" He asked and when she noticed he was getting closer—she backed up till her back hit a wall.
He wasn't wrong—she's hurt her feelings before. Safaree didn't even know why Beyoncé chose to be friends with someone like Onika.
They were complete opposites.
And then something clicked.
And Safaree has never seen someone like Beyoncé get so defensive over a girl. She's usually dismissed them, even if they were on her ass for ignoring them.
"Beyoncé tried to say all I wanted to do was to have sex with you right? That's why you trailed off earlier?" He asked and she nodded subtly.
He grinned.
"That's real funny because—that's all she wants to do." He said and Onika—looked him straight in his face with a look of confliction and confusion.
"H-Huh?" She responded.
"I know you've heard people besides me say she ain't shit. Because she ain't. She probably just what's to fuck you Onika." He said caressing her cheek and she tensed up as his touch.
But she couldn't even pay attention to it with this new found information.
"I-I don't think she does." Onika queried. Beyoncé seemed so genuine at times—but Onika could tell she was short tempered.
"Why do you think she's so protective of you?" He asked. And Beyoncé only got protective when Safaree was near.
"B-Because we're f-friends. She wouldn't—try that with me." Onika stated.
"She hasn't tried it yet. Because she knows i like you. How about we get this over with alright?" He whispered and Onika wasn't expecting him to get so close.
He tried to kiss her.
And she turned her head.
He was confused when he didn't feel soft lips; but soft skin. He pulled back and looked at Onika who was looking down.
"M-My brains really—scrambled right now." Onika whispered. She didn't want to hurt his feelings—but she also didn't want to kiss him.
"I know how you can relax. And I can do all the work trust me." He whispered into Onikas ear and she shivered. It reminded her of when a room was too cold—she didn't feel good.
She had a good idea of what he may have been referring to—and she didn't want that.
And she tensed up immediately when she felt his hands at her sides—slowly going up and down. Then one raised—and wrapped his own hand around her wrist.
She was stuck—frozen even. She had no idea what to say—she didn't know how to say "no" once he started touching her. Her bottom lip quivered as her eyes shut close—tight.
She couldn't speak—it was like her mouth went so dry she couldn't even open it. Zipped shut—she so desperately wanted to speak but—she couldn't. That was how she got in uncomfortable situations. She went mute—sometimes by choice and sometimes her body was forcing her to.
"I-I—" She tried and he cut her off before she could out the short sentence she so desperately wanted to release. She needed to tell him—that she didn't want this. Be squeezed her wrist harder.
"I've liked you for awhile. I thought you were so hot when i first saw you." He admitted and she didn't know if that was a compliment—she didn't take it as one considering the fact she was extremely uncomfortable at the moment.
She felt his lips attach to her neck and her eyes shot open. His grip on her was as strong as ever. She felt trapped.
She then felt a rush of adrenaline.
And she managed to pushed him away.
She wasn't paying attention to what exact movement she did when she pushed him away but she was breathing rather heavily while holding her now hurting wrist. No one's ever attempted to do what he tried to do to her. And she wanted to keep it that way for the time being.
When she hesitantly looked up—she saw a agitated Safaree as he held his cheek.
"Your elbow wrecked my fucking face Onika, damn." He mumbled and she felt guilty—incredibly so but that was the only way she could communicate that she didn't want that.
"I-I'm sorry." She apologized. He wasn't even paying attention to the fact Onika was cradling her wrist now.
"I-I just—-I didn't want—that. I-I wanted to talk and— I don't like what y-you said about Bey—"
"Oh for christ sakes, fuck Beyoncé. She's a terrible person. You shouldn't even be around her. You're way too nice sometimes Onika. You don't have to waste your time around a bitch like that." He complained.
And there he was again—saying that same shit.
"You're way too nice."
Her bottom lip quivered even more.
"Y-You—you're taking my kindness for w-weakness. Bey is a good a friend." Onika stood her ground—although with tears in her eye. She refused to let him talk about Beyoncé.
No matter how upset Onika was with her.
"Weren't you too arguing in the hallway?" He questioned.
"Just because a person does nice things doesn't make them a good friend. Think about it Onika. Jesus christ I swear you're so—naive at times." He mumbled and her eyes prickled with tears.
She looked down—she didn't like to think she was naive. She was an adult—she wanted to be more mature but everything seemed much more scary when she was sheltered for most of her teenage years.
"I'm just trying to tell you the truth and you push me? I mean—I've been so good to you these past few weeks. Don't I deserve a little something?" He asked and Onikas eyes widened as she began thinking.
She noticed a huge difference in Safaree and Beyoncé.
Safaree was—funny at times. He was kind when he wanted to be but this wasn't the part he's been showing her the last few weeks. He hasn't tried any advances on her till now.
But Beyoncé—she was—something different.
She could be rude at times—but she genuinely cared at things Onika did. Like her art. Onika remembers when she'd wait for her to finish pottery to drive her to work or home.
She didn't have to—but she chose to. And she didn't expect anything in return.
It's the little things Onika pays attention to that Safaree doesn't.
I-I don't..want to be—anything more than friends." Onika said quietly. She wasn't even sure if she wanted to be friends with him anymore after the insults he threw at Beyoncé.
"Oh? So you're willing to be friends with her even though she threw insults at me too? That's not fucking fair." He stated.
Onika did feel genuinely guilty because on a surface level it wasn't fair.
But Beyoncé—Onika felt like she was different. Completely different. Something else showcased itself when she was upset—and Onika could tell she had deep rooted issues.
"S-She's a sweetheart when she wants to be." Onika defended her again and Safaree scoffed shaking his head.
"You defending this bitch way too hard. Y'all fucking?" He asked with a quirked eyebrow and Onika was completely taken back. She shook her head quickly.
"N-No!" She said immediately in response. The last thing she wanted was for him to think there was a bias especially for that reason.
"Do you want to be fucking?" He asked with his arms crossed. In all honesty he was pissed off. "Because there's no way in hell Beyoncé is cockblocking me when she's not even here. You like her or some shit?" He questioned and Onika—well—
She couldn't shake her head immediately to answer no.
She was already frustrated from earlier and this conversation wasn't making it any better—she didn't have time to stop and think about something that made the tips of her ears heat up.
"C-Can you not yell at me? I-I—" Onika stuttered—shaking .
"Can you answer my fucking question?" He asked aggressively—making Onika shake more than she already was. She hated when someone's voice raised.
"I-I don't like her that..way." She said quietly.
She couldn't make eye contact with him—and the words felt weird coming out of her mouth. But she had no issue saying she didn't have any feelings for Safaree.
So why was Beyoncé so damn different?
It was confusing her more than she already was—and she couldn't have this all in one day. She—in complete honesty wanted to curl up in a ball and isolate for a little while. So much has happened in one day for her.
"Come on Onika—I've been waiting for this for awhile. And I've been such a nice guy. I've seen you blush around me—you've got to like me too." He did concluded and that wasn't the case at all.
He got closer again—and this time his hand snaked closer to the dip on her back.
She didn't like it, his touch didn't feel—natural. She didn't even like hugging him—it didn't feel as good as—certain other peoples embraces.
She tried pushing him away again but he wouldn't let go of her. She shook—violently—she felt tears rush even more to her eyes and her vision blurred. She shook her head—as fast as she could.
"P-P-Please—" Onika tried but he ignored her. She hated the feeling of his hands on her body. She felt like everything she got to call her own was being invaded.
She was trembling—her cries were silent. His hands groped areas no one's ever dared touch and her body was rigid.
She felt like she couldn't do anything as her heart rate picked up—she was frozen. She couldn't hear what he was saying—it was blurry almost. Everything he was saying was blurry.
She felt like she was underwater—she felt as if couldn't breathe.
She felt his hands go to the front of her skirt and her eyes shot open—she didn't want this.
She couldn't think clearly—she just knew she wanted him off of her. She bit her lip hard enough to bleed as she gathered the strength to push him away fully.
She felt for the wooden door behind her and then the knob as she quickly opened it. She heard him call her name but she slammed the door before he could even make it out.
The first person she thought to call—as tears blurred her vision and she was short of breath...was Beyoncé.
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Onika didn't explain the whole thing to Beyoncé. She didn't want to remember it—as she sat and waited for Beyoncé on those steps it played over and over again in her head.
Onika didn't mention the groping, the caressing that made her skin crawl—the way he shoved his hands in her skirt—she wanted to forget it all.
"Are you..okay? Physically?" Was the first thing she asked because it had been on her mind.
All she got was a nod.
Beyoncé bit her lip, the tension was high. She's never been this nervous around Onika. She couldnt tell if the girl was really okay.
But she knew Onika, she said things on her own time.
"Are you still mad at me?" Beyoncé tried. She was anxious to hear the answer but deep down she had a feeling Onika can't stay mad for long—or even get that angry. She doubted she was still upset with her.
But she got a nod in response—again.
Beyoncé sighed, exasperated.
"I can't control what I say sometimes Onika. I've always been like this alright? You can't really get upset at me you know how I am."Beyoncé tried—she was pleading in her own way for Onika not to be fully upset at her.
She wasn't lying—she had a mouth when she was upset. If she knew information—she was going to say it when she was heated. She barely regretted it—she didn't usually regret it—till she met Onika.
"I mean your aunt was the one who told me to do it. You cant blame me for this—and Safaree is so fuckin—"
"Shut up."
Beyoncé stopped talking.
She felt like the world had stopped at Onikas command. It was soft, if you weren't paying so much attention to her you'd surely miss it. But she definitely say it.
Beyonce, blinked. the only sound behind heard were the nearby cars, rustling trees—and Beyonces heartbeat in her ears.
"Huh?" She responded after a few seconds of just pure shock looking at Onika.
The girl, had told her—to shut up.
"I-I said shut up." She repeated quietly. Beyoncé blinked in pure shock.
"I-I didn't mean it i'm sorry it's just—I-I can't think with you trying to defend yourself instead of flat out apologizing like you should be." Onika mumbled finally looking up at Beyoncé.
Beyonces eyes were stuck in their widened state.
"D-Do you know why I was so mad at you earlier?" Onika asked and Beyoncé didn't answer, she was still frozen.
"Y-You promised me you wouldn't get involved." Onika whispered watching the trees rustle.
"But he's an—"Beyoncé tried to speak and Onika cut her off.
"A-hole I-I know.." Onika said low.
"B-But you—we—w-we're adults." Onika stated looking at Beyonce, even in this terrible lighting she could see hazel eyes and she had to look away.
She could somehow feel her words getting jumbled before they came out of her mouth.
"I-I-I hate being treated like a kid." Onika admitted and Beyoncé watched her.
"I-I understand why people are protective of me and everything b-but—I feel like there's a slight—difference between taking my anxiety and a-autism into account—and treating me like a b-baby who can't deal with things on her own." Onika whispered.
"T-That's why I like you so much. You t-treat me like—me. E-Even my aunt would act like I couldn't do simple things by myself. I-I understand why. I just—I hate how sheltered i was. B-Because now I'm turning 20 this year and I know little to—n-nothing." Onika said with a cracked voice and Beyoncé watched her.
She looked up to Beyonce, the blonde was staring at her in surprise. Beyoncé felt like her eyes were pericing through her.
"B-But then you broke your promise. I wanted to—d-deal with Safaree like a g-grown woman. I-I wanted to set my own boundaries. Not walk in on you about to b-beat him up." Onika said in disdain.
"Y-You made me feel like some little kid." Onika admitted.
Beyoncé noticed her body language — it reminds she'd of the first day they met. Onika was—uncomfortable—upset—and Beyoncé knew half of it was her fault.
"I'm sorry." Beyoncé said looking down at her best up sneakers. She felt a shift and she could feel Onikas eyes on her—and that made her more nervous than anything.
Her mama always taught her to properly apologize when an apology is due. She didn't always do it—but in a situation like this she'd get on her knees and beg for Onikas forgiveness.
"I really am I mean—sometimes I can't control what the fuck I say or do and—that isn't a excuse. It's just a fact about myself I should really work on." Beyoncé said barely above a whisper, keeping her head down and gripping the fabric of her jeans. She couldn't dare face Onika head on.
She was truly ashamed of what she had said. She didn't mean for her anger to actually effect the people around her.
"W-Why do you do that?" Beyoncé heard—that soft—quit voice she longed to hear.
She gulped at the question however.
"I—I don't know. Pent up anger? Misdirected anger? It's just how I am. I'm not..proud of it." She mumbled—she had a pretty good main idea why. But she didn't talk about it enough.
She didn't hear much of anything from Onika after that. Beyoncé sighed till she heard her voice again after a few minutes.
"Why—w-why didn't you tell me? A-About..my brother?" Onika asked—Beyoncé noticed how broken she sounded. Her voice cracked, and she was speaking barely above a whisper.
Beyoncé felt so—ashamed of herself,
"Your aunt told me not to—I was conflicted. I care more about what you think about me than her—I just didn't want to piss the woman who raised you off." Beyoncé tried wording.
Onika took in her words, nodding subtly. Beyoncé hated this, she wasn't talking to her like she usually did. No soft smile, no tug on her sweatshirt when she wanted something, she didn't even bother to even touch Beyoncé since she picked her up from Safaree's.
Onika took a deep breath and Beyoncé watched her with slight tears in her eyes.
Beyoncé didn't cry often—and she had no idea why everything was suddenly changing in the quiet girls presence.
"I-I really am sorry." Beyoncé said low, apologizing once again.
It was silent, and Beyoncé folded her lips and felt a spike of annoyance at the evident tears emerging.
She hated crying.
"I-I forgive you." Onika mumbled.
"Do you really or are you just saying that?"
"I m-mean it."
The two looked at each other, and Beyoncé watched Onika come closer—and closer—and she felt her heart rate pick up. This has never happened for her around a girl.
She felt Onikas arms wrap around her neck, and she found her face right in the crook of it.
Beyonces face blushed, she felt Onikas embrace once again and the tension she felt building up—that was eating away at her—disappeared in seconds.
Her tears didn't though, as the free fell.
"I-I really am sorry Onika I just—I don't—i hate seeing you—upset. I hate it. I knew he was going to upset you and I just I wanted to prevent it so bad because I-I.."Beyoncé hiccuped, never finishing her confession and Onika hugged her tighter.
They stayed like that—for lord knows how long. Beyoncé felt guilty—overly guilty. Here she was spilling her emotions—she didn't mean to.
"I-I just I want you to be okay. And happy b-because it keeps me—grounded—and makes me happy." Beyoncé confessed sniffling and Onika softly smiled into her neck.
When Beyoncé absentmindedly placed her hand on Onikas waist in order to properly hug her she noticed her tense under her touch.
She didn't usually did that—and if she did she softened immediately when it was Beyoncé.
But Beyoncé noticed she wasn't softening—there was no relaxation coming.
Beyoncé pulled back.
"A-Are you okay?" Beyoncé asked and Onika nodded—but she didn't look Beyoncé in her eyes.
"C-Can we—h-head home?" Onika asked quietly and Beyoncé sniffled and nodded. When they were walking back to the car she noticed how Onika hugged herself.
"A-Are you cold?" Beyoncé asked and Onika nodded, and Beyoncé didn't hesitate to take off her jacket for her.
Onika didn't object, the oversized material made her feel warmer. Not as warm as Beyoncé presence.
When they finally reached their respective apartments Beyoncé felt unfinished—like she was unsatisfied with how her night was about to end.
Beyoncé watched Onika search her pockets for her key, as she turned her own but she never heard that little jingle from Onikas.
She looked over and saw the girl let out a heavy sigh, "Did you forget yours somewhere?" Beyoncé asked and Onika nodded with her forehead against her door.
Beyoncé bit her lip, she wasn't sure if she should ask this—but Onika didn't look like she wanted to go in her own apartment anyways.
"You can—spend the night with me."
Onika turned her head to see a nervous looking Beyoncé.
"We can—have a sleep over again." Beyoncé tried. She ignored how kiddy it sounded—she just wanted to see Onika smile again. Because she's had a permanent pout for awhile now.
Onika however, looked surprised but a little relieved that she wasn't going to be alone tonight.
She agreed.
She didn't speak for the whole time, when Beyoncé offered to order something—watch Tv—her response was just a head shake. "no"
Beyoncé offered her a pair of sweatpants that were a bit big on her—but she didn't complain. She didn't have the energy or the will to.
"I—can sleep on the couch." Beyoncé offered reaching for her pillow and she felt a hand—tug on her shirt gently.
Beyoncé looked over to Onika, who was sitting on her bed with a pleading look in her eyes. She shook her head, tugging on her shirt again.
"You—want me to stay?" Beyoncé asked and Onika nodded. Beyoncé gulped—she couldn't say no to her.
She crawled into her own bed, and noticed how Onika immediately clung onto her.
She was hugging Beyoncé for dear life it seemed like—she wasn't going to let go.
"Did anything happen between you and..Safaree?" Beyoncé asked, the room was dark but warm. She could barely see Onika but she could feel her.
Onika shook her head no—digging her head deeper into Beyonces neck.
"Can you—promise me nothing happened between you and Safaree?" Beyoncé asked.
Onika shook her head again; no clinging onto beyoncé even tighter.
Beyoncé so desperately wanted to ask what really happened.
"Are we okay?" Beyoncé asked quietly.
This time, she received a nod—and then felt some wetness on her neck she knew were tears from the slight but subtle shaking.
"Are you okay?"
She received a "no".
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Sorry this update was so late school been fucking ya girl UPPP
But..y'all know what time it is..
Beyoncé?
Onika?
Beyoncé and Onika?
Additional thoughts, theories, and comments?