I yawned and ate my bread, silently thanking the heavens that my throat doesn't hurt that much anymore.
It was already night and we're eating dinner at the cafeteria. Marlowe decided to join us and talked about the new weapons we have for killing Titans.
Marlowe slammed his cup on the table, making me slightly flinch and look at him in surprise.
"We can win! We have a chance!" Marlowe said confidently.
"The Titans don't stand a chance against those things!"
"... It's hard to trust the words of someone who's never fought a Titan." Jean said and frowned at him.
"Yes, I'm still a rookie here, but people weren't so excited right after I joined!" Marlowe smiled as he talked.
"It means that everyone is crazy about the new weapons!"
Jean sighed and shook his head.
"Don't get too excited. Most people don't celebrate joining the Survey Corps." Jean told him.
"That reminds me." Sasha spoke up, gaining our attention.
"Did Hitch try to talk you out of joining?" Sasha asked Marlowe, who raised a brow.
"Hitch? Why would she?" Marlowe cluelessly asked.
Connie and Sasha's faces turned into a teasing smile and tried to hold their laugh.
"Why? Aren't you two... like that?" Sasha sneered and giggled.
"Ghghgh... right?" Connie snickered.
"Pfft-" I covered my mouth and tried not to choke on my food.
"WHAT KIND OF LAUGH WAS THAT?!"
Armin patted my back and I covered my grin with my hand.
"Are you okay?" Armin asked, his brows furrowed and his lips were slightly lifted upwards.
"Yeah, I'm good." I faintly giggled and grabbed my cup of water.
"I don't know what you mean." Marlowe spoke up and we glanced at him.
"But Hitch did tell me I wasn't cut out for the job and that I shouldn't fake it. She said I could have an easy life if I stayed in the Military Police. I thought she was better than that. So I told her to take her cowardice elsewhere." Marlowe said with a serious face.
"Dumbass." Jean commented, confusing Marlowe.
"Huh?"
"He's oblivious..." Marco sweat dropped, making Mina nod.
"Are you slow, Marlowe?" Armin asked.
"That bowl cut is shrinking his brain." Sasha said as she looked at Marlowe's haircut.
"What? Marlowe's right, you know?" Eren defended.
"But then again, Hitch's just probably worried so she said those things to you." I told him and he glanced at me with a much more confused gaze.
"Worried? Why? We're only acquaintances." Marlowe said.
We let out a sigh and slumped down, making Marlowe even more confused.
"She wouldn't tell you those things if she doesn't care about you, you bowl cut head idiot. Plus, you're literally asking for a death wish by joining the Survey Corps." I said. Marlowe furrowed his brows at me as I continued.
"Having new weapons doesn't lower the chance of death, let alone that you have no experience about kill-"
I suddenly coughed, making me look away and cover my mouth.
"(Y/n)." Mikasa called out, making me flinch and slowly look at her.
"Don't talk too much, your throat just recovered. Finish your food first and let your throat rest." Mikasa... scolded me...
"Yes, sorry..." I whispered and slumped on my seat, silently drinking my water.
"She does have a point, Marlowe." Mina told him.
"Look closer, Marlowe. The only ones excited about it are the ones who got transferred here and have zero experience in fighting, like you. There are almost no veterans around here." Jean said and pointed behind him.
"Hey, hey, come on now, Jean. Is the ex-garrison so unreliable? Do you think you're some kinda veteran hero now?" Floch spoke as he stood up with the others.
"Sure, compared to you." Jean narrowed his eyes at him then looked away.
"That's rude. Harsh coming from another member of the 104th. And I know it's not just us." Floch said and stood in front of our table with his hand on his hip.
"Pretty much everyone is excited about the possibility of retaking Wall Maria." Floch cheerfully said.
"Is that so?" Jean blanky replied as I and the others blankly looked at them.
Floch got taken back by his dry response and sweat dropped.
"Well, your squad does seem a little different lately. You've got this look about you now. What exactly happened?" Floch slowly asked as he looked at us one by one.
"Hmm... let's see..." I hummed, gaining their attention.
"Titans, blood, blades, guns, deaths, kidnapping, manipulation, chains, pain, panic attacks, more deaths..." I listed out, glancing at them as their faces turned into horror.
"Want us to elaborate those?" Jean blankly asked.
"N-No... Maybe- Maybe some other time..." Floch stammered.
I watched them walk away from our table and pursed my lips.
"Floch looks like he has a bird nest on his head." I said, breaking the tension.
They snorted and chuckled, making me smile at them.
"It's because of his hair, isn't it?" Sasha giggled and covered her mouth. Connie chuckled and finished his food, drinking the rest of his water.
"What a way to break the tension." Marlowe commented with a small smile.
I shrugged and smiled at them. "I love seeing you guys smile. I don't mind if you're in it, Marlowe. I think you're a great guy." I said.
Marlowe widened his eyes as a light tint of blush appeared on his cheeks. He smiled and nodded at me.
Sasha slightly blushed and waved her hand, giggling.
Connie just grinned with a light blush.
Mikasa blushed, covering her face with her scarf.
Eren smiled and ruffled my hair.
Armin also smiled and chuckled.
Marco slightly blushed and rubbed the back of his head.
Mina giggled with a grin on her face.
Jean narrowed his eyes but smiled before looking away.
Seeing their reactions warmed my heart that it almost made me cry. I quickly wiped the tears in the corner of my eyes and grinned at them.
"I got a bit overexcited also. I ended up acting like them. Sorry." Marlowe said but we waved him off.
Connie suddenly stood up and gathered his plates, gaining our attention.
"Well, I'm done here. See you guys later." Connie said.
"What already? There's nothing scheduled for tomorrow so you can relax." Sasha told him.
"Exactly. I'm heading to my village tomorrow morning." Connie said and started to walk away.
"I might be able to learn something useful. Good night." Connie said.
"Night night." I waved at him as he left our view.
I glanced back at the others as no one uttered a word.
"It wouldn't be completely impossible... to turn Connie's mom back to normal, right?" Mina said as she looked down at her unfinished soup.
"If there's a way to turn a human into a Titan, there should be a way to turn one back." Marco said and glanced at them
"Yeah... As long as we keep learning more about Titans, maybe someday..." Armin said and frowned.
"A nightmare, huh?" Eren muttered but loud enough for us to hear him.
"Eh?" Armin exclaimed.
"Ymir said that when she was outside of the wall as a Titan, it was like a nightmare to her. We haven't had much time to worry about it lately, but who exactly have we been fighting? Does it mean that Titans... are innocent humans living inside an unending nightmare? We've been killing Titans that were once humans? Wherever Annie is from, are the people there being turned into a Titan by that serum Historia's father used? At some point, I was also one of those Titans." Eren muttered as he rambled.
"Eren!"
Eren let out a silent gasp and looked up at Mikasa, making me furrow my brows at him.
"You still haven't eaten your bread and soup. Speak after you finish your meal." Mikasa scolded him, making me sweat.
"We both just got scolded... oh Jesus..."
"Right... Sorry, Mikasa." Eren slowly said and looked down.
"It's not just a nightmare. There... must be more, outside of the wall." Armin softly said.
"There will be more. We'll find it out ourselves." I told him, gently placed my hand on his arm.
Armin glanced at me and smiled with a nod.
"Jeez, Eren..." Jean spoke up and we looked at him.
"You've been spending an awful lot of time just muttering to yourself. (Y/n)'s rubbing on you. Is it some mental illness caused by puberty?" Jean said, making me slightly glare at him.
"Hey!!"
"What?" Jean raised a brow.
I huffed and clicked my tongue.
"Anyway, shouldn't you be trying to remember the guy you told us about? Remember the person you saw from all those memories? That soldier in the Survey Corps you think met your dad?" Jean asked Eren, making me raise a brow and look at the brunette.
Eren looked at Jean for a moment before looking forward.
"Yeah, the memory of that guy must have come from dad." Eren said and drank his water.
"He's gotta know something. And I can't shake the feeling that I've met him myself." Eren said as he held his forehead.
"You're saying you've met him outside Dr. Yeager's memories?" Armin asked.
"I think so." Eren answered him.
"Maybe you'll remember more if you hit your head!" Sasha suggested.
"I don't think that's a good idea..." Marco said with his brows furrowed.
"Nope. I think it's a good idea. Besides, Eren just needs to do something else other than holding hands with Historia." Jean said.
I looked at them in confusion, having no memory of Eren telling them about Grisha's memories.
"Do you remember someone in the memory in yours, (Y/n)?" Armin suddenly asked me.
"Huh?" I muttered and looked at him.
"Someone you might think knows something?" he added.
I pursed my lips and furrowed my brows.
A man with long black hair that is tied in a low ponytail looked down at me. Some strands of hair covering the right side of his face. He has four piercings, one on both of his ear lobes, one on his left ear helix, and one on the right side of his lower lip.
He has sharp blue eyes and he has slight eye bags under his eyes.. He moved his bangs to the side and looked down on me with slight wide eyes.
I blinked and rubbed my eyes then my forehead, I looked away and shook my head.
"He looks oddly familiar..."
"No... sorry." I said as I glanced at him.
Armin slightly smiled and shook his head.
"Don't be." Armin said and patted my shoulder.
"Why don't you try getting the commandant to headbutt you." I heard Jean say and I glanced at him then to Eren.
"If head trauma was the answer, I wouldn't-" Eren stopped and slightly widened his eyes.
"This... this is where we go to Shadis now, right? I wish my phone's here with me so I could re-read the chapters."
"Wait..." Eren muttered, making everyone but me look in confusion.
Eren suddenly stood up and slammed his hands on the table, making me flinch.
"The Training Corps commandant... Tomorrow, I'm going to the instructor's place. Keith Shadis." Eren said and looked at us.
"You know... I was just joking about the headbutt." Jean told him.
"I don't think that's the reason, Jean." I said and glanced at him.
"I'm not going for that. (N/n), you're coming with me. We need to ask him about Dad and Monika-san." Eren said and grabbed his plates and cup.
"And here I am, planning to take a long ass sleep after all of that hardening training only for the lore to ruin it."
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I leaned on Luna's neck and gently wrapped my arms around it as our horses ran towards the Training grounds of the Training Corps.
We wore our formal army green trench coat, black belt around our torso with a white button up shirt underneath the uniform.
"Training Corps instructor, Keith Shadis... He was the 12th commander of the Survey Corps once. Erwin's predecessor. It's been a long time since I've seen him." Hange said as we near the camp.
I sat straight as we reached the place. I gently pulled Luna's rein, making her to slowly stop running and stood next to Levi's horse.
I hopped down on Luna's back and patted the invisible dust in my uniform.
"Thank you for the ride, girl." I muttered and rubbed Luna's neck, making her lean at me.
After securely letting the horses rest on the side, we walked in the Training grounds and saw Shadis below, standing in front of some rolled hay bales.
"Commandant Shadis." Eren called out as we stood in front of him.
Shadis glanced at us over his shoulder and slightly widened his eyes. I saw Sasha hide behind Jean and Marco and looked at their shoulders.
Eren and I stood straight and saluted at him.
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"You're not going to take a seat, Blouse?" Shadis asked and looked at Sasha, who's standing on the corner near the door.
"No! I am perfectly happy to stand!" Sasha said loudly and avoided eye contact with him.
I faintly smiled at her and glanced back at Shadis.
"I do seem to recall reprimanding you in this room more than a few times. And that was only a few months ago. I hardly recognize you anymore." Shadis said and looked at all of us.
"And I guess the last time we saw you... was five years ago." Levi spoke up.
"And um... changed a lot, too." Levi hesitantly said.
I covered my mouth and looked away for them not to see my smiling face.
I coughed in my hand to hide my laugh and focused back on them.
"It was the first time a new commander of the Survey Corps had ever been named while the old one was still alive. I'd replace my own useless self with someone talented. Perhaps you could call it the one act of mine that deserves any merit." Shadis told them.
"Commander Shadis. Or, as I should say, Commandant. With the mission to retake Wall Maria so near, possibly you can guess what brings us here today." Hange told Shadis.
Shadis had a downcast look on his face and looked at Eren and I.
"Eren. You look so much like your mother." Shadis said, making Eren slightly widen his eyes and let out an exhale.
"And you're a mix of them, (Y/n)." Shadis then glanced at me. I slightly flinched when we made eye contact.
"Hah- me? A mix of Carla and Grisha? Maybe some aspects... but still."
"But those daggers in your eyes could only have come from your father." Shadis added.
Eren furrowed his brows as he gritted his teeth and stood up.
"Please tell us everything you know about him! Along with his assistant, Monika Winter." Eren said, his eyes narrowing down at him.
"I don't know anything, if you want to cut straight to it. But if you'd like to hear a story with no benefit whatsoever to humanity, then humor me. I'm nothing more than a bystander." Shadis said.
I gripped Eren's sleeve and tugged it, making him look at me.
"Sit down and let the commandant talk." I said.
Eren sighed and nodded. He sat back next to me and we all focused on Shadis.
"As for my story-- I met Grisha and Monika... twenty years ago, now? We met outside the walls. Right in front of Wall Maria, by Shiganshina District..." Shadis started.
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a/n: Question. Should I put that as a narrative story or as a flashback in third person POV?