Years ago...
"Hello? Tama na kakasunod, please lang. Nagmumukha kang stalker sa ginagawa mo." Inis kong turan kay Finnian. Tirik na tirik ang araw walang ibang ginawa kundi sundan ako.
Wala siyang sinabi at pakiwaring wala ding narinig. "Finnian? Hello?" Tawag ko ulit sa kanya.
Halos lahat ng mga kababaihan ay nakatingin sa kanya. Namumukha siyang mutchacha o kaya nawawalang aso ko. Hinigpitan ko hawak sa bagong labas na limited edition kong bag saka siya tinalikuran. Tila hindi siya makikinig sa mga sasabihin.
"Ahh!" Sigaw ng pamilyar na boses sa likod ko.
Mabilis ako napalingon. "Hey! Ba't ka nanunulak?" Maarteng turan ni Everett. Nakasalampak siya sa semento.
Bumaling ako kay Finnian. "Finnian!" Sigaw ko sa kanya. Matalim ang mga mata kong tumutok sa kanya. Dumaan ang isang kilalang emosyon sa mga mata niya na siyang hindi ko pinansin.
Nilapitan ko kagad si Everett at tinulungan siya makatayo.
"Ayos ka lang?" Pag-aalala ko sa kanya. Bigla naman nito akong kinurot sa tagiliran. "Kilala mo ba siya? Ba't mo naman sinigawan?" Bulong niya sa'kin. "Hahawakan sana kita ng bigla niya kong tinulak bigla. Scary siya, sis." Dagdag niya.
Tinulungan ko siyang makatayo pagkatapos, tinanggal niya naman ang kamay kong nakapulupot sa kaniyang bewang.
"Hello! Finnian, right? Finnian ang pangalan mo. Ako si Everett." Inabot niya ang kanang kamay niya kay Finnian. Nakaramdam ako ng irita sa kinilos niya.
Hindi tinanggap ng binata ang kamay niya, kaya binaba niya nalang ito. Ang matalim nitong mata ay nakatitig sa'kin. Halatang hindi niya binibigyan ng pansin sinasabi ng kaibigan ko. Inilipat ko naman sa ibang sulok ang mata ko.
"Hayaan mo na yung kaibigan ko. HB talaga siya minsan." Tuloy niya pa.
"Halika na." Aya ko sa kanya. "May pasok pa tayo." Aalis na sana kami ng biglang nakaramdam ako ng palad na pumulupot sa kanang bisig ko.
My body reacted, full of voltage. His eyes sparkled every time they met mine. It seemed as though there were just the two of us in the space. Unexpected emotions that I couldn't put my finger on rushed over me.
"I'll be waiting for you in the parking lot." Pagkasabi niya non ay tumalikod ito sa'kin.
Naiwan akong nakatingin sa papalayo niyang katawan. Ilang taon na ba niyang kasama 'tong lalaki sa buhay niya? Mula ata nakaroon siya ng isip siya na ang kasama niya.
"Uy, tara na." Tapik sa'kin ni Everett.
"SEE YOU TOMORROW CLASS." Huling bilin sa'min bago lumabas. Huminga ako ng malalim sa dami ng ginagawa lalo finals na.
"Maya guys, ha! Doon tayo kari Opia." Sigaw ng kaklase namin. Umiling na lang ako. "Libre daw pagkain sa kanila. Mahuling pumunta, tira-tira kakainin!" Sinundan pa niya ito ng tawa.
Wala kong balak pumunta. Handa na 'kong lumabas sa kwarto ng biglang pinigilan ni Everett ang bisig ko. Kumunot ang noo ko. "Punta tayo."
Umiling ako saka ngumiti. "Saka kari Opia 'yon. Akala ko ba ayaw mo sa kanya?"
"Pagkain 'yun."
"Maaga akong uuwi saka pagod na din ako." Sagot ko. Sumulat sa mata niya ang panunudyo.
"Uuwi ka ng maaga kasi susunduin ka ulit. Sus, parang hindi kita kilala."
Umirap ako sa hangin. "Tara na nga..." Wala kong nagawa. Nagpatangay ako sa hila niya.
BLINDING LIGHTS WERE ROAMING AROUND THE ROOM. My classmates were already having fun. I can feel how the atmosphere lifts me up. I looked around and saw familiar faces, but I couldn't quite place them. The music was loud, and the bass thumped through my chest.
I closed my eyes and let myself get lost in the rhythm. Suddenly, someone grabbed my hand and pulled me onto the dance floor. Everett. I laughed as we spun around, not caring who was watching.
Sigawan ang naririnig ko sa buong kwarto. Natatawa naman ako dahil sa mga iba't ibang kinikilos nila. Sa oras na 'to ay parang wala kaming pakialam sa iba. Para kaming mga nakawalang aso sa kulungan, mga ibong malayang nalalakipad, leon na mababangis, lamok na maiingay.
"Alam mo ba kanina? Sabi lang 'to, ha. Nahulog daw sa canal kanina si Opia." Tumawa siya ng malakas at kumain ng lumpia. "Diba? Ang tanga." Isang hampas sa balikat ko ang tumama. Saktong napadaan sa harap namin si Opia. Tumalima kami kagad. Tinignan ko lang siya ng masama.
Nakikikain na nga kami pinagsasabihan pa namin ng masama. "Remember, Everett? Don't judge the book by its cover."
"Libro ba siya?" Tanong nito sa'kin. "May point ka diyan." Amin ko, sunod-sunod na halakhak ang nilabas namin.
"Tas, eto pa. Si Anna na magaling daw sa kama." Tumawa siya ulit. "Pero sabi mahinhin pa daw sa pusa-hoy! Ano yan?"
Napabaling ako sa pinto. Lumabas doon ang dalawa naming kaklase. Sa kamay nila ay may dalawang bote na kilalang alak. Pinatunog niya ito at ngumiti.
"Walang uuwi hangga't hindi nakakatayo ng maayos! Drink guys! Arat na!" Sigawan nanaman.
Tumayo ako at sumabay, hindi naman ako papahuli pagdating dito. Sinalinan niya ko sa plastic cup.
"Zandra, what do you want after we graduate? I can pick the stars for you." Inakbayan pa niya ko.
"Then do it." Irap ko sa kanya. "Saka masyadong kang advance" dagdag ko. "Pag wala akong na-jowa this year, mang-aakit nalang ako ng teacher natin." Sabat naman ni Everett.
"Never kong gagawin 'yan." Tinanggal ko ang pag-akbay sa'kin.
"Or I'll sleep with Finnian." Dagdag niya. "Never ko ding gagawin 'yan." Ulit ko.
It felt freeing to let go of all my worries and just live in the moment. As the night went on, I found myself making new friends and trying things I never thought I would do. It was a night to remember, one that made me realize that sometimes it's okay to let loose and have fun without worrying about what others might think.
"Pang-ilan na 'yan, Zandra? Sis, ano ikaw uubos ng isang bote na 'yan?" Agaw niya sa'kin ng bote.
Mabibilang ko pa ba sa kamay ko kung ilang baso na ang nainom ko? Ang init sa katawan ko ang nanalaytay. Hinanap ng kamay ko ang aking telepono. Pagbukas ko nito ay halos hindi ko na makita ng maayos, pinikit ko ulit ang mga mata ko saka tinignan ulit. Alas otso na ng gabi. Madaming missed calls din galing kay Mama Francyne.
Napa-ungol ako dahil paniguradong wala na 'kong kasabay umuwi.
"Everett, uuwi na 'ko. Mauuna na 'ko." Kumunot ang noo niya, halatang sabog na. "H-ha? Uuwi ka na? Aga pa." Ungol niya.
Hindi ko na nagawang magpaalam kay Opia, dahil wala na ko sa tamang wisyo. Lumabas ako sa bahay nila at tumambad sakin ang madilim na lugar.
"Tangina, ba't walang ka-ilaw-ilaw dito!" Inis kong turan.
Binuksan ko ulit ang telepono ko kahit hindi ko na makita ng maayos. Nabuksan ko naman ito at napailaw.
Dumampi sa katawan ko ang malamig na hangin. Parang may yumakap na mga emosyon sa katawan.
Kumusta na kaya si Mama? Si Finnian kaya nakauwi na?
Bumuhos nalang bigla ang luha ko kahit na nasa gitna ako ng daan. Nakaramdan ako ng kalungkutan. Dumaloy ang iba't ibang mga salita sa utak ko. Hindi ko napigilan humikbi.
Ako lang ang meron ako. Nakakatakot na naman. Paano ba 'ko neto? Totoong nakakapagod. Kumirot ang puso ko.
Sa madilim na lugar 'to, sa malamig na hangin na tumatama sa balat ko, dito. Dito ko gusto mawala. Ayaw ko na ding mabuhay.
"Zandra!" Sigaw sakin ng baritonong boses.
Nasa gitna ako ng kalsada. Kita ko kung paano siya maglakad papunta sa'kin gamit ang mabibigat na paa. Mabilis din ang paghinga niya.
At this moment, I can feel chills on my spine. His eyes are dangerously focused on his prey. Oh, God. Seconds later, he was already in front of me. Suddenly, all the demon's thoughts inside my head popped out and were changed by the real demon in front of me.
"F-fin.." I stuttered.
My wrist was held in tense hands. He had me in a tight hold despite my attempts to escape. Biglang nawala lahat ng mga sabi-sabi sa utak ko.
"You skip me. Do you know the consequences of doing that?" His ruthless grin showed.
He draws me closer to him, and I feel my heart beating faster. Now is the perfect time to run. Moving my feet, I took a step back. While I'm unsure of where this journey will take me, I sprint quickly to stay alive.
"Mother of my father and the father of my mother! Help me! Tulong!" sigaw ko sa utak ko.
As I arrive at the dead end, I can hardly breathe. I'm finally secure here. I take a moment to catch my breath and assess my surroundings. The walls are high and made of rough stone, with no visible openings or exits. I'm trapped, but at least I'm safe for now.
My heart is pounding in my chest as I try to calm down and think of a way out.
"Zandra!"
"Ahhh!" I screamed. "Lumayo ka! Sisigaw ako! Ahhhh! Tulong!!" I yelled and fell.
"Stop! You are already shouting, and my ears can't take it anymore." He looked annoyed.
He approached me and gave me a wrist pull to stand. My efforts to distance myself only caused me to get closer to him. When I stared into his eyes, a flood of fear and perplexity overcame me. I wasn't able to determine if he was upset or worried.
"You partied all night without telling me. You know that I'm waiting there. How many times should I keep telling you this? For the 20th time, Zandra. Tell me, for fuck's sake! I'm fucking worried for you!"
"You shouldn't be worried, Finnian! You are just my bodyguard. A guard on my side, not a full time stalker who acts like a lover! That's bullshit! Nothing more! Nothing less! Don't even call me Zandra! I'm your ma'am!" I screamed too.
I stopped when I saw the glimmer of anguish in his eyes. I bit my lip while blinking twice. His face was unrecognizable as he nodded softly. I felt as though the ground would devour me right now from the inside out from guilt. I attempted to collect myself after inhaling deeply.
"I'm sorry," I said softly. "I didn't mean to yell." He looked at me with a cold face.
"You are right," he replied, his voice barely above a whisper. I could tell that he was hurting, but I didn't know how to make it better. I wanted to reach out and comfort him, but I was afraid of making things worse. We stood there in silence for what felt like an eternity, neither of us knowing what to say or do next.
"Let's go home."
Yun lang ang lumabas sa bibig niya at pumasok sa sasakyan. Naiwan akong nakatayo dito sa labas. Gusto ko namang kutusan ang sarili ko. Sa loob looban ko, pinipilit ko sa sarili kong tama ang ginawa ko.
"OH, ANG AGA NIYO ATA." My mom stated this as soon as we entered the house.
Kumibit lang ang balikat ko, iniwan ko ang sapatos gilid ng pinto at nagmadaling umakyat sa kwarto namin. Narinig ko pa ang tawag sa'kin ni Finnian ngunit mas binilisan ko lang ang pag-akyat. Mabilis ko ding sinarado ang pinto at unti-unti kong tinanggal ang sablot ko.
I entered the bathroom and let the water flow over my body. The cold water felt soothing against my skin, washing away the stress of the day. As I lathered my hair with shampoo, I couldn't help but think about Finnian's call.
There's something between my legs that has a tingling effect. Oh, God, we are in the middle of something. I'm crazy. I pushed the thought aside and focused on the present moment, enjoying the sensation of clean hair and a refreshed body.
After rinsing off, I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around myself.
"Akin." His voice lingered in my brain.
He is leaning on the doorway. I turned to face him, feeling a sudden rush of nerves.
"Yes?" I asked, trying to sound casual. Akin's eyes met mine, and I felt a jolt of electricity pass between us. He looked so handsome standing there, with his dark hair falling over his forehead and his broad shoulders filling the doorway.
"Are you mad?" he inquired, and I shook my head.
To the mirror, I turned my gaze. My body reflected on it, while his eyes still settled on me.
As we stood there in silence, I couldn't help but wonder what the future held for us. As I looked at him through the mirror, standing there with his eyes filled with concern, I felt a sense of comfort knowing that he was by my side. Whatever the future held, we would face it together. And with that thought in mind, he was already at my back, kissing my bare shoulder.
"No, I'm not mad," I replied, my heart racing.
"Your disappointed." He continued.
I am.
When he began to leave prints on my neck, I closed my eyes. Although I was aware that we needed to discuss what had happened, at that very moment, all I wanted was to be with him. He began to move his hands over my body, and I felt myself enveloping his touch. It seemed as though just the two of us were important.
"I'm sorry. I'll make up." His voice was low and smooth.
"How, Fin?" I asked and met his eyes through the mirror. He can sense the burning flames on my body. "What are you looking at now?" He asked. "I'll give it, no question." breathless kiss on my neck.
Smirk form in my lips.
"The sinful heaven." I demanded.
"Give me sinful heaven. I want it now." Without any hesitation, he grabbed my waist, turned me around, and then met my luxurious lips. His kiss was dangerous, with waves of high intensity that sent shivers down my spine.
"My pleasure." He whispered.
His hands roamed over my body, exploring every inch of me with a hunger that matched my own. His work on my body was filmed by my eyes in the mirror.
"Aghh!" I whimpered.
He took my wrist and put it in his mouth. The sensation of his teeth grazing my skin sent shivers down my spine. While his other hands made way to my thigh.
Mahigpit niyang nilumos ang balat ko doon at binaon ang mukha niya sa leeg ko. Nahulog sa hangin ang kaliwa kong kamay. Marahas niya kong tinulak sa salamin, napahawak ako sa gilid dahil sa rahas ng galaw niya. "Fin! Careful!"
Ramdam ko din ang mala-halimaw na pagkalalaki niya na tumutusok sa pang-upo ko.
"I don't know what 'careful' is." He timidly said.
He roughly shoved his thing at me, making me gasp in surprise. "Fin!" I screamed. My face was already kissing the mirror. In one move, he removed the towel covering my body.
"Cry my name 'til I fuck you to mortality."
He thrust himself on me without warning. The pleasure was almost too much to bear as he took one of my nipples into his mouth, flicking it with his tongue. His fingertips rubbed her sensitive clit. His overpowering move made me turn on.
"Yes, please." I pleaded.
Her flesh was begging, craving his touch. His deep thrust at her made her weak. She closed her eyes and let him pound into her. The sound of their bodies colliding echoed through the room. He was in control, dominating her with every move.
"F-fuck me, Finnian! Ohh! H-harder!" She cried.
She moaned in pleasure, unable to resist his skilled touch. His hands explored every inch of her body, igniting a fire within her that she had never felt before.
Napasinghap siya sa hangin ng tumama ang kamay niya sa kanyang pang-upo. Lalong uminit ang pakiramdam niya. "Tangina! Isa pa!" Sigaw niya.
Inulit nito ang ginawa niya, ngunit mas malakas pa. "Ahhh!"
Nagulat naman ang dalaga nang bigla nito hilahin ang buhok niya at nilakasan ang pagpasok nito sa kanya. Libo libong boltahe naman ang biglang pumutok sa utak niya.
"Fuck, you're still tight, huh?" He said it with a smirk.
Bumilis ang paglalabas masok niya sa pagkababae ko. Bawat hampas ng katawan niya sa katawan ko ay parang may enerhiyang lalong nagpapalala ng kalagayan ko. As he continued to move inside me, I couldn't help but feel a mix of pleasure and pain. My body was responding to his every touch, every thrust, as if it had a mind of its own.
"Ahhh! Ahh! Ah!" I could feel the sweat dripping down my forehead as I moaned in ecstasy. He was right, I was still tight, and it only made him more determined to make me come.
His hands were all over my body, exploring every inch of me as he continued to pound into me with increasing force. I could feel myself getting closer and closer to the edge, my body tensing up with each passing moment.
And then finally, with one last thrust, I exploded in a wave of pleasure that left me gasping for air. His lips trailed down my neck, leaving a trail of kisses that made me weak in the knees.
"Ang sarap, Fin." bulong ko.
Humigpit ang hawak niya sa balakang ko at sinagad ang pag-ulos lalong lumakas ang ungol ko. Dinasal ko na lang na sana ay wag marinig ni Mama ang malakas kong ungol. "Aghhh! Ahhh! Fin! Fuck! Ang sarap." I bit my lips to keep my mouth from moaning, but I just couldn't.
Tumulo ang panibagong pawis sa katawan ko. Ang mainit nitong dila ang humaplos sa leeg ko lalong uminit ang gabi. Nanigas naman ang parehong hita ko ramdam kong sobrang lapit ko na.
Bigla niyang hinugot ito. "Finnian?"
Suddenly, he was already licking my flesh. I couldn't help but arch my back. The sensation was overwhelming, and I felt a rush of heat spread throughout my body.
"Good God." I moaned. His touch was electric, and I couldn't resist the urge to let out a soft moan. Every inch of my clit was explored by his wondrous tongue, and I want more.
"Moan, Zandra." After he said that, he bit my skin down there, making me gasp. "Moan, Zandra." He desired.
"Fuck me, Finnian!" I begged.
He expertly moves his body, and just for a second, he is already inside of me. Bawat sagad niya sa loob ko ay parang walang hanggang kasarapan. Kumapit ako ng mahigpit sa gilid ng salamin nang naging mas marahas ang paglabas pasok niya.
"You are drugs, Zandra." He whispered.
Push, pull, shove.
We are both breathless. I tried to face him, even though he was fucking me behind. Our tongues both collide, together sucking saliva and exploring mouth. Our bodies moved together in perfect harmony, each touch igniting a fire that threatened to consume us both.
"I'm near, Akin." He grunts in response, increasing his pace and intensity. I arch my back, feeling the pleasure build up inside me.
"Fuck, me too."
His pace became needy. A smack in my butt made me come first, my body convulsing with ecstasy. Akin followed shortly after, his breath hot against my neck as he released inside me.
"It's fucking a pleasure." He kissed my forehead.
Binuhat niya ko na parang bagong kasal at naramdaman ko nalang ang malambot na kama namin.
We lay there for a moment, catching our breath and basking in the afterglow of our passion. He moved me towards him.
This was more than just a physical connection; it was a deep emotional bond that had been forged between us. We both knew that we were meant to be together, and nothing could stand in our way.
"I love you, Finnian." bulong ko sa labi niya. Gumuhit ang ngiti doon.
"My love lasts 'til you find teeth on the chicken." He said.
"What?" I looked up. I was expecting something more meaningful from his words. "Is there a tooth on a chicken?" Tanong ko.
He chuckled. "Of course there are none."
I hit his shoulder. "Bwisit ka! Kala ko pa naman maganda sasabihin mo." Pagtataray ko sa kanya. Binaon niya ang mukha niya sa leeg ko. Pinatakan niya ito ng halik at tumingin muli sa mga mata ko.
"There's no tooth on a chicken, you can't find it, you can't also find the the end of my affection. Even if you need my bloody hand for your things, I'm willing to give it. If you want me to have a snowball fight with the devil, then I'll do it. Zandra, tell me everything you want; I'll do it without any questions." His eyes were so true. He didn't even blink. Lumapat ang kamay niya sa dibdib ko, pina-ikot niya pa ang daliri niya isa sa bundok ko.
"Just be with me to the end." Bumaon ang ngipin ko sa labi ko.
He is intoxicating. God, you gave me a hell boy.