"Ayanokouji-kun... Have you ever, like, smiled?" Matsushita asked me out of nowhere.
"I've smiled a lot in the past, you know? Everyone in our class has seen me smile, including you. And also, I just smirked at you last time, didn't I?" I replied.
"Sure, we've seen you smile forcefully and we've seen you smile bitterly, too. But, those two and smirks are entirely different from a smile." Matsushita started gesturing joyfully as if she was trying to present me something. "I'm talking about a genuinely happy smile~!"
A genuinely happy smile, huh? Have I not done that before? Well, I'm certainly not the type of person who would do that every day like how most people do.
"Not only that. You also never panic, and your composure never breaks. Is that how you were from the start? Or did you grow up in such a scary place that everything just seems tame to you?"
Matsushita's theories were hitting closer and closer to home. Though, I can't really blame her. As soon as I decided to show my abilities, I knew I would attract attention. And of course, given my personality, the people around me would take interest in my past.
When I did my research, I was incredibly fascinated by some works of fiction. There were a lot of stories depicting characters with similar origins as I am. It wouldn't be strange if a random person could describe a place like the White Room.
However, even if I were to tell them the truth, no one would take me seriously. It's almost a year and a half since I've been out of that place. I'm starting to get a gist of how the outside world works, and something like the White Room does not fall under the category of normal. It's not something that I could easily share with others.
"Well, who knows? Maybe you're right. People develop their personalities based on the influence of their environment, after all."
"Yeah, that's true. Ah-! Speaking of which, what were you like as a child, Ayanokouji-kun?"
A specimen.
White floors, white walls, white ceilings, white uniforms, and white gowns. Tests, exercises, lessons, tests, tests, tests, tests...
"I was certainly a strange child-- isolated as if I was some sort of weirdo."
"Ohh, I was expecting some fancy answer; like how you were once an upbeat and cheerful young boy until something happened that made you become an emotionless and empty husk... or something like that," Matsushita declaimed with passion.
"That's... quite a specific scenario. And I'm not like that, you know?"
"I know. Even with your deadpan face, you're still quite the goofster sometimes. It was just a common trope in stories," she shrugged.
"I figured," I shrugged back.
"But why were you isolated? I'm guessing that it's something along the lines of you being a Japanese kid. Did it bother you at all?"
"I didn't know any better, and I never really cared about friends as long as I showed passing results in school. Being alone didn't bother me at all because I had my hobbies."
I've established myself as a returnee from America, but I left it at that since I want to avoid piling up on lies, as much as possible. I've presented myself as someone who's reticent about himself, so no one has really tried to pry.
"Well, you definitely could've been a star student back then if you tried even a little bit, right? How popular would that make you, I wonder? You might've even gotten a girlfriend in junior high. Isn't that amazing? An American girlfriend~..."
For some reason, Matsushita started fantasizing about some weird stuff.
"Oh, speaking of girlfriends, you're not into Kushida-san or Horikita-san, right? And based on what you've said earlier, I can assume that you don't have a crush on Ichinose-san, too."
"Huh? Ah, yeah."
As expected of Matsushita. She easily managed to bring up the topic she wants before I can do anything about it.
"Ohh, I see. Then, is it alright if I ask what kind of girl you like?"
That question, huh...? I've been asked about it a lot, especially by Karuizawa and her friends.
"Well, I guess I should apologize now. Apparently, my answer belongs in the 'inexperienced' category."
"Ah... As expected, a lot of the girls have already asked you this question." Matsushita gave me an understanding nod. "But 'inexperienced', huh? What in the world did you tell them?"
I gave her a side glance before answering.
"Spirited."
"Pfft-"
"Oi."
"S-Sorry, Ayanokouji-kun... Now I understand why they called you inexperienced."
"I know what you're thinking, and it's a misunderstanding. I'm not so ignorant to think that there are only two types of girls..." I explained.
Specifically; the Spirited type and the Quiet type.
"Woah, amazing! You really knew what's on my mind~!"
"Karuizawa already told me the exact same thing. I really needed to elaborate on it more," I said. "Basically, my personality is like this, right? I just thought it would be nice if I can go out with someone who's kind of the opposite."
The main flaw of my answer was how utterly universal it was. Most girls would probably consider themselves to be spirited.
"Hmm, that makes sense."
"How about you, Matsushita? What type of guy do you like?"
"Hoh~? Are you curious? Will you treat it as a reference to make me like you, perhaps?"
"Be thankful that I was considerate. I could've asked you the same thing earlier, you know?" I rolled my eyes with a sigh.
"Ahaha~! I'm kidding, I'm kidding," Matsushita chuckled. "Well, for starters, I want them to be someone mature. I'm not really into childish boys like Yamauchi-kun or Onizuka-kun. And besides, it's really endearing when a reliable boy shows his vulnerable side. It makes me want to hug him."
A hug from Matsushita.
Objectively speaking, Matsushita's description of her ideal guy sounds a lot like me. However, there's no way I'd tell her that. Just thinking about it makes me gag internally. Man, being overly self-conscious is a damn nightmare.
"Mature and reliable, huh? Basically, someone like... Hirata?"
Matsushita put her hand in front of her face and lightly giggled.
"Yes, yes. Someone like Hirata-kun," she said sarcastically.
"Oi, why do I feel like you're making fun of me? Did I say something wrong?"
"Nothing, it's really nothing~!" Matsushita smilingly shook her head. "Well, most of my friends would say that I might be into upperclassmen, but I don't think that's the case at all. I actually don't mind dating someone in our year, you know?"
Matsushita was what I would describe as a "high-class girl". She came from a relatively well-off family and her academic achievements were stellar. Growing up in a very healthy environment, Matsushita was someone that didn't have any glaring flaws apart from her laid-back and carefree attitude.
There was nothing that I could capitalize on.
There's no way she would settle for less when it comes to a romantic partner. And to be honest, she has every ground to be choosy. First of all, she was smart and beautiful. While her involvement in the class wasn't as apparent as Horikita and Hirata, Matsushita is still a vital part of the class. If she had any leadership skills like those two, she can certainly stand toe-to-toe with them. And lastly, even if she wasn't as popular as Kikyou, Matsushita gets along with everyone in the class while also being admired by many outside.
"Slow down, Matsushita. We're almost there."
As she nodded, the scenery started to shift slowly. We're about to reach our destination.