The library was the peace and quiet you had been searching for in a long time. Although you felt lonely here it was a lot better than Loki's company, it's been a couple hours since your encounter in the study room, yet your scalp was was still incredibly sore, and you could still feel his ice cold grip on your wrists, there was definitely gonna be a bruise later. Your warm hands was lightly running over the area that had been held tightly, it was red and sore. You hated him. No. That was probably the worst part of it all, you didn't hate him. No matter how hard you tried you couldn't hate him, because you knew Mobius was right.
You were exhausted, your eyelids were heavy. To be fair you hadn't gotten a good nights sleep ever since you're arrival, although Mobius had made sure you got the best room, and that your every need was fulfilled, the only thing you longed for was a movie night on the couch with Nat, or a car ride to the beach with Tony. Every time you closed your eyes you had nightmares. Not the once you have as a kid where a monster is chasing you in the dark. You saw Peter disappearing into dust right in the palm of your hand, your haunting scream as he dissolved completely. You saw your time with hydra chained down to a bed while mad scientist would inject you with whatever they hadn't yet tried. Steve beaten and bloody laying on your chest as you wiped away the blood of his wounds. These were your nightmares, they were real. There was no escaping them. However you let your heavy eyelids shut, as you fell asleep on the pile of paperwork left undone. It could wait, everything could wait..
"Y/n"
Your eyes slowly opened up, as the tall frame before you let a gentle hand touch the back of your head. When you realised who it was you sprung up from you chair.
"Get away from me" desperation filled your voice, you were mortified. Truly and utterly mortified.
"I came to apologise. To you" his voice was calm and gentle in way you had never sensed before, you were shocked at his words, but you weren't gonna let him get away with it this easy, he hurt you, not only mentally, but he physically hurt you.
"Well, I'm waiting then" you spat, you clenched your jaw as you moved further away from him, afraid what his next move might be.
"I'm..." he took a deep breath, it made him uncomfortable. "I am sorry that i ehm.." he fumbled over his words.
"You're sorry you hurt me?" You asked in a cold monotone voice, looking directly at him.
"Yes, Im sorry that I hurt you, I didn't mean to." He paused for second before looking up at you, his eyes met yours and his face turned sorrowful. "Actually I did mean to hurt you, I wanted you to hurt" he spoke.
"You're shitty at apologising you know, saying you meant to cause harm on someone isn't saying your sorry, it just hurting them over again" you exclaimed, he was infuriating you.
why did he impact you so fucking much.
"Will you let me finish for allfathers sake Stark" he spat, his gentle voice were gone once again, and the Loki you knew stood in front of you crystal clear. You scoffed at his words, but gestured for him to continue as you took a seat. He took a moment to gather his thoughts, he was really struggling at this, and you found it quite amusing. He sat down across from you at the table.
" I am sorry that i hurt you, but I did mean to hurt you." He started. You were biting the inside of you cheeks as you shook your head. He was making you nervous. "I did it because I'm scared"
"You're scared?" You asked, he looked intensely at you begging you to just shut up and listen to him. "go on" you mouthed.
"I'm scared because I don't want to care about you...because I know that you don't care about me."
He was looking down, suddenly you weren't so scared at all, mobius was right, of course he was right. Silence filled the air between you as he slightly looked up at you, hoping he would have gotten a reaction from you by now.
"I don't care about you?" You laugh.
"That's what I said wasn't it"
"Oh my god you are an idiot" you exclaimed. You began laughing once again by how clueless he was.
"Pardon me?" He asked .
"I could be home right now, but I chose to stay here and help you get back. And you repay me by pinning me to the ground?" You spoke, his face softened, as he looked softly up at your eyes. "By humiliating me... I'm trying here Loki, you need to help me out, you could start by helping with the files " you sighed.
He sat it silence for a bit, before grabbing one of the files from the table. "Okay, I'll help." He said with a small subtle smile on his face.
"Thank you"
For the next hour you and Loki searched through every file the library had about his case. You were both tired and barely said a word to one another. The silence was intense, the only thing filling the room was the flickering pages, and your deep sighs as you read through another file without any luck. Once again you let your head fall down and rest upon the many stacks of files resting on the table. You let your eyes shut. you found yourself drifting in and out of sleep. It was freezing in the library, your entire body was tense, and small chatters escaped from your mouth as your teeth hit one another. Suddenly you felt something cover your shoulders, you opened your eyes slightly and saw Loki standing behind you letting his jacket rest on top of you. You closed your eyes once again and a small smile escaped from your lips, then you fell asleep once again.
"Y/n"
"Hmmm" you whimpered.
"Y/n" a soft voice said once again.
Your eyes slowly opened.
"I found something, it might be a stretch" it was Loki's voice that echoed through the silence.
"What?" You said softly
He handed you a file.
Ragnarok.
"Oh god.. Loki I'm so sorry, I completely forgot you didn't know" you stammered, as you skimmed through the files.
Loki's eyes were red, he had been crying...
"It doesn't matter, it wasn't my home anyways" he answered coldly, you gave him a firm look as you reached out for his hand, but he slowly pulls away before you could reach it.
"You don't have to do this you know?"
"And what am I doing?" He says in a firm manner.
"Pretend that you don't have feelings"
"I'm not pretending anything"
There's a moment of silence we're you just look at each other.
Why can't he just accept that you care?
"What did you find then?" You say letting out a deep sigh, slightly disappointed you didn't get him to talk to you.
"Well if an apocalypse destroys everything including the people around it, the actions around the apocalypse wouldn't matter right?" He explains. You're utterly lost at what his point is, you give him a confused look hoping he'd explain further. "Well if I travelled to Asgard right before Ragnarok anything I'd do there wouldn't matter, therefore it wouldn't cause a nexus event, and a new timeline wouldn't branch." He continues his monologue. "The variant is hiding in apocalypses, and the TVA would never suspect a thing" he finishes with a proud smile on his face.
"Oh my god, you're a genius" you exclaim
"Yeah I know"
"Well what are we waiting for we have to tell Mobius"
You hand Loki his jacket as you both storm out of the library with the file in hand. Loki runs over to Mobius as he is eating lunch, he starts explaining everything to him, even you can't follow along as he mumbles out his theory. You put a hand on his shoulder and let out a quiet sigh.
"Calm down, you're not making any sense" you say softly.
Quickly Loki stands up and grabs a soda can from a man sitting at the table behind you. He takes Mobius's salad and starts pouring salt and pepper over it. You can't help to let out a muffled laugh as you mentally face palm yourself at his idiotic way of explaining Mobius the idea. Suddenly he begins pouring soda all over the salad. Mobius looks over at you with pure frustration in his eyes. You mouth to him to just give him a chance. When Loki is finished he drops everything on the table and smiles proudly at his very interesting presentation.
"So what do you think Mobius" he asks with pure joy in his voice.
"I think you just ruined my perfectly good lunch"
Loki sighs as he rolls his eyes. "The variant is hiding in an apocalypse"
"Well done you two, let's move then"