beau.
"I hate you. You might not give a shit, but I just thought you should know."
Piglet glares back at me with his ears pointed straight up. He may be a whole other species but I'm sure he can pick up on the extreme dislike in my voice.
I'm very aware of Jo's presence only a few feet away, possibly eavesdropping, but I can't give a definitive answer to that as her loud ass music showcases a different narrative. Then again, she hasn't marched in here to scold me for talking to her dog with anything other than sweet compliments so she's probably oblivious.
"She's mine. She was mine before you were even born," I hiss at Piglet. This doesn't come without being provoked, before Jo went into the bathroom to get ready I held her undivided attention until Piglet showed up. I'd like to think myself rational, I'm generally open to compromise and I can't deny the fact that I love seeing my girl's face light up. Even if it is because of a little fucker we call the family dog.
He welcomed himself on my bed, not wasting a second in making himself comfortable on Jo's lap, then he had the utter nerve to growl at me. He was the intruder, he shouldn't get a say in anything. But of course, Jo will side with him every time. So she made me move to the other end of the bed while she cuddled the dog.
Lucky bastard.
My head turns at the sounds of footsteps. Noticing Jo coming into the room in long strides, she laughs, "Why are you talking to yourself?" Her voice sounds too airy to have heard what I was actually saying, thankfully.
Only half of her hair is pin straight and flowing down her back; the other half is tied up in a small bun near the top of her head. I offered to braid her hair for her to ease her worries about time, but she kindly turned me down, saying she wanted to put in the effort today at least.
It's her birthday after all.
I couldn't believe I'd never known how she truly felt about her birthday until this morning when she got all shy about me waking her up with breakfast in bed. Downstairs at seven o'clock sharp, Katie was giving me a tutorial on how to make the savory pancakes she never fails to serve. It isn't that boxed up shit either, I quickly learned that we'd be making it all from scratch. Hell, what could I say? I wanted to be able to tell my girl that I made her breakfast. I even had the burn mark on my wrist from flipping pancakes to prove it to her.
Not to brag, but I think the whole thing came out pretty decent. It was no five course gourmet meal, just pancakes, eggs, bacon, with a side of strawberries. Yet, she had been very pleased. After she got over her shyness. Turns out, she didn't like her birthday all that much. Not for any particular reason, she just prefers to brush it off so people won't make a big deal about it.
I quickly reminded her that every year I'd make the biggest fucking deal I could about her birthday. Every day I make sure she knows how appreciated and loved she is, but on her birthdays, I'm really going to make it known whether she likes it or not. She deserves the complete fucking best, from me at least. I can make do without throwing a gigantic birthday party, I like having her all to myself anyway. But to expect me not to make a big fucking deal about her special day is just cruel.
Watching as she giddily skips into the closet to pick her outfit I suppose, I can't help but admire her. So much has changed in so little time and I couldn't be prouder of her.
Two weeks ago might have been the lowest I'd seen her since the beginning of summer. It broke my heart to see her that way, in shock and fearful of the things she'd barely mustered the bravery to do. After tearing that dress off her, I thought we'd gone back to how it was before the therapy sessions and the extensive pep talks. I thought she'd have to start over from scratch, I was more than willing to help her don't get me wrong, my biggest concern though was her well being. I wondered if she could really do it all again.
But the hours that followed proved otherwise. I mean, Jo wasn't as happy as she had been before that morning, but she wasn't broken either. She let me hold her as close as possible. While she laid on top of me, I fucking prayed to whatever higher power out there that my arms around her did something. That they'd healed her somehow. Or prevented the worst from getting to her.
As hard as the days were after that, I think I was heard.
After she told Brooke about everything, something she might have heard in that session fueled a determined fire in her. Jo took a vow to never think back on what happened and whenever she did, she went right to that journal of hers. Such a simple process it sounds like, but no measly words can describe how hard it was on her. There were hours she cried, times I had to sit beside her as she hunched over the toilet in agony, nights she couldn't sleep as the war in her mind kept her wide awake. I tried my absolute best to help her, but we both knew that healing after something traumatic such as that she had to do on her own. I was just her support system. I couldn't be in her mind no matter how bad I wanted to be. Science wasn't advanced enough for me to just pry into the contents of her thoughts and emotions and fix them around so that she'd be the happiest possible version of herself.
As unfortunate as it was, healing was a weight only her shoulders could carry. On the other hand, that also meant that when she finally found the mentally healthy state she'd been striving for, she'd have her immense resilience to thank.
By her next session, Jo was thrilled to tell Brooke that she'd gone back to her house for the first time. She'd managed to take her mind off things with her family's company. She wasn't ready to go back permanently just yet, but we were all happy for her nonetheless. She was making progress, that's what truly mattered.
Plus I didn't mind keeping her here for a little while longer. Neither of us really mentioned it, but we were technically living together. It only made me realize that I needed her around all the time.
Nights wouldn't be the same without her in my bed.
I await her with an expectant gleam in my gaze to come out with whatever outfit she has planned. For her sake, I hope she wears whatever she feels like wearing. She never has to feel ashamed in anything she wears, she looks beautiful in anything. She could honestly walk out in a trash bag and she'd manage to look fucking beautiful.
Turning my attention to the dog, I notice him sitting up straight waiting for her to make her appearance. Hell she's even got a dog obsessed with her. I reach over to him slowly to throw off his deep concentration. Not even a second goes before he cocks his big head to look at my hand. I pause, he growls. The closer I inch toward him, the louder he growls. It calls to Jo's attention like a goddamn siren. She pops her head out of the closet and spots me antagonizing him.
What a little snitch. I curl my hand back to my side and snap my gaze to meet hers. "Leave him be," she frowns, but I can't help but let my eyes linger over her outfit. A simple white halter top that dips low both in the front and the back. Paired with light blue jeans that are fitted on her waist and thighs and loosen up at her knees. She's still with that lopsided bun, bringing a humored smile to my lips, but the rest of her renders me speechless.
One leg crosses behind the other when she steps out to fully show off her outfit. She looks down at the neckline warily, "Is it too much?" she asks timidly.
Again, she already knows what I'm going to say. However, she needs to hear that reassurance, which I'm more than happy to give. "It looks perfect, you look perfect." I could think of a million other things to say, all genuine compliments, but some of them are rather suggestive and I'm not sure her light coat of foundation would be able to conceal the fiercely colored blush that'd coat her cheeks.
As I pointed out, she's been working on herself. Working on being the best version of herself she could possibly be. Whatever she wanted, she got.
And in physical matters, to say she's gotten more confident is just a more modest way of describing her. In reality, she's become a helluva lot more than that...
~
"Beau," she whined, coming up from behind me and tangling her delicate hands in my hair. I kept my eyes trained on the game, but the second I heard her voice, my mind zeroed in on her.
"What is it?" I asked. I pressed the button to mute myself, I didn't need Luke's nosey ass eavesdropping on mine and my girlfriend's conversation.
Her full lips began trailing down the side of my neck, hinting that she wanted something else she wouldn't explicitly utter. "Give me attention." I shuddered at her pouted bottom lip grazing the outer shell of my ear. Fuck was she good.
Not even thinking twice about it, I tell Luke I'll talk to him later and turned off the game before he had the chance to tell me how whipped I was. Of fucking course she's got me hooked on her, one glance could tell a person that much. She's captivating and persuasive at that. A deadly fucking combination.
"I miss you," she whispered into the base of my neck, "I miss the way your hands feel." Her lazy tone had me in a damn trance. My mind was in a clouded haze, starstruck by the way her hand felt gliding down my arm. She wrapped her fingers around my wrist, leveling my hand out with her lips. She took her time in kissing my scarred knuckles. Her touch so fleeting and subtle yet so intimate that it made my head spin.
We've worked our way up to this for almost two weeks now. I didn't want to jinx it, but we were so comfortable with one another that it felt like we were us again. How we were before everything happened. I adored every bit of it, made certain to savor every last drop of leniency her mind allowed. But I sure as hell wouldn't get carried away. I promised myself I wouldn't when it came to her.
Looking at her over my shoulder, I reaffirmed, "Are you sure?"
She nodded, that smirk lighting up her entire face.
How could I deny her?
When she noticed me trying to stand up, she promptly swung her leg across my lap. Seizing the opportunity to touch her in ways that we'd already established, I circled my hands all the way around her waist, planting them on her ass. With an amused grin, she leaned in to kiss me and pressed her hips against mine simultaneously. It felt as though she'd been wearing nothing with how thin her gym shorts were.
I parted her lips with my tongue, yearning to devour her. I'd take the parts of herself she gave me and appreciate them to the fullest extent. No part of her would go underwhelmed or untouched, I made certain of it. I paid careful attention to her mouth, claiming it as she moaned and whined for more. My teeth were so bold to graze her bottom lip.
Her response came in the form of her hands tugging mercilessly on my hair. For every slight nibble on her lip, she tugged at my roots like she was trying to rip apart my scalp. It was no surprise I liked her being rough like that. We just had to keep in the back of our minds that it was alright to retreat back to those soft, seductive caresses.
Lifting my hand, taking her oversized tee with it, my hand brushes the warm skin of her lower back. I hummed into our kiss, "I'm wholly in love with you, Jordyn, don't ever forget it."
"Never." Pulling away, our eyes locked instantaneously. Pure consumption overrode me in her ghastly blown-out pupils. I was hypnotized by her beyond repair.
With our eyes never taken off one another, her hips began to rock slowly. My semi-hard on pulsed beneath her expert movements. It took every ounce of self-control not to give in right here and now. Not to give her my all for hours on end. I had to be patient, we had to take our time.
I leaned forward, letting my lips fall beneath her protruding collarbones. One of her hands rose up to play with her necklaces. The moon crescent between her fingers, goosebumps lighting up across her skin, her gorgeous lips parted in bliss. She was a beautiful sight to behold. Undeniably perfect.
"Beau," she gasped.
~
"Beau!" she calls out, yanking me out of my pleasant train of thought. Coming back to reality I figure out she's said my name a few times and I've only been sitting here staring at her like the lovesick idiot I am. I wear that title fucking proudly.
Motioning for her to come closer, she shakes her head softly at first, biting back a smile. "What? Can't stand me anymore?" I joke.
She moves her eyes up to the ceiling, shrugging to plead her innocence.
"You know you fucking love me, come here, beautiful." I move my arms out to catch her as she scampers over to me. Her knees perch themselves on either side of me one after the other. I grip her hips, guiding them down until her weight is in my lap.
She loops her arms around my neck. She may look like she's lost her mind with only half of her hair up in a bun, but fuck, she still looks stunning. "Daydreaming about yesterday already?" she guesses correctly. I really can't keep anything from her, she knows me too damn well. One look at me and it's like she can read every thought passing through my brain.
"And what if I was?" I perk up. She leans down to level out our mouths, I can still feel her smile when she's kissing me. My moonlight's shining bright.
Licking her lips, savoring the taste of me on her tongue while she pulls away, she replies snarkily, "I wouldn't blame you. It was definitely something." 'Something' doesn't even come close to describing what went down yesterday. It went more along the lines of kissing one another until our mouths went sore, running our hands over each other's bodies so that not a single part was left untouched, pushing our hips back and forth fervidly until she was left shaking in my arms. From mere dry humping she worked herself to release, and unfortunately so did I. Her hands had never even left my hair and still she led me to orgasm. No one but her had ever made me come that way. It was an indefinite bruise to my ego, but to her, it was impressive to know what she was truly capable of.
It was fucking empowering to her and that I loved to see. We had our brief moments of rough, feverish passion, but when we weren't pining for one another like the last meal we'd ever have, it was actually softly indulgent. I made sure to let her know how beautiful she was and how good she was doing. I never, ever made her feel like she had to keep going. Every bit of it was all on her own accord. I may have been the one guiding her, but she was the one in control. In truth, I'd submitted to her, gave it all to her, because that's the least she deserved. And afterward, when she was spent and at her most vulnerable emotionally naked state, I held her, kissed her, told her all the things she needed to hear. I never let her go for a while. The fear that she would have regretted that brief yet significant moment between us replayed itself in my mind, somewhat scaring me into spending more time clinging to her side than I usually would. She caught on after I was too quick to say yes to watching Love Island with her and she promised me that she wouldn't 'go full blown insane' if I left her side to play video games with Luke.
Did that make me leave her side though? Fuck no. The longest I left her alone was probably five minutes when I went to grab her something to eat. Aside from that, all I wanted to do was be with her, be certain that she didn't feel used, discarded, or anything bad at all.
Like I said, 'lovesick idiot'.
"Go finish getting ready," I give her ass a few pats to relent her from my hold, "I want to get there as soon as possible."
"Oh why, so we could leave as soon as possible?" she glares playfully.
As she retreats back to the bathroom in slow steps, I smile at her, "You know me so well." I've got tonight planned out for us already, little does she know.
jordyn.
I feel the same today as I did yesterday, I truly do not understand the big deal about birthdays.
I don't really hate my birthday, Beau seems to think I do solely because I don't immediately hop out of bed and await my loved ones to come in with a cake and candles serenading me with 'Happy Birthday'. Seriously, I don't mind going to dinner or hanging out with friends, but that's just things I do on a day-to-day basis, nothing special about that.
But for his sake, I'm trying to be excited about turning seventeen. Yet the most I've said about it was this morning in pointing out that for the next few months I'll be the same age as him, meaning he can't call me 'kid' whenever he feels like it.
I've finished my hair and makeup. I tried to keep it casual since Beau already warned me beforehand that he had set aside a few hours today to treat me to a proper birthday. I assume that means heading to our spot and having dinner at the Denny's across the street, but I could be wrong. Man, he is hard to crack when it comes to surprises.
What I do know is that we'll be spending the afternoon at the bowling alley with Sophie, Kat, Luke, and Sel. Sophie set it all up for us. I hope it gets to be a good time and none of us get too competitive, but that can't be reassured with Kat and Beau in the same vicinity. Knowing them, they'll probably be throwing mild insults at each other to throw their opponent off during their turn. Then there's Luke who, like Beau, likes to throw in a few snarky comments here and there.
Oh who am I kidding, I've got somewhat of a competitive side too. I won't fight to the death for first place, but this birthday girl sure as hell isn't coming in last.
I let Beau know that I'm ready. For once in a lifetime, he's actually all dressed and ready to go. He disappeared for a bit to take something out to his car. I only got a peek of his large, conspicuous figure sneaking out the door. I'm calling it now, I know for a fact he's planning something.
"You better not be taking me to no fucking Six Flags," I warn crudely as we walk out to his car hand in hand. Sophie and Kat follow behind us, eavesdropping and snickering at my remark. I glare at them, I told them both that day would turn out to be a bad idea.
"Relax," Beau chuckles, "I'm pretty sure we got ourselves banned after that one time."
"They have your names in front and everything. Blacklisted," Sophie says dramatically, all dark-and-gloomy like. My beady eyes stay on her, not funny.
Since none of us girls wanted to drive to the place about a half hour away, I sweet-talked Beau into being our chauffeur. I made sure to give him the whole 'It's my birthday' spiel, pouty lips, pleading eyes, and all. I'm proud to say it didn't take long for him to cave in. Kat had our parents drop her off here so they got the chance to wish me a happy birthday and give me my gift, which was a box of macarons and a gift card to Barnes and Noble. Now I know where I'm dragging Beau to next.
Kat sits directly behind me, while Beau and Sophie go around to the other side of the car. I turn down the AC so that hot air wouldn't flood the car and suffocate us all. The minute we stepped out, it was as if sweat was in the air. These baggy pants were cute, but not California-summer friendly. Sophie, though in a white top and skirt set, was the first one to complain about the heat. Even Beau, who was in all black as per usual, didn't get a word in before her.
"We're in the backseat, we're gonna die," my sister groans, sinking lower and lower into her seat.
"You're more than welcome to drive," Beau snickers.
Instantly, she perks up, "Nevermind, I'm good."
Shushing everyone, I reach forward and turn on the cooling system. If it blows out hot air, it's not my fault they couldn't be patient. Luckily for them though, it's fresh.
Deciding to use the radio for music instead, I flip through channels until I find one that isn't on a commercial break. Radio hits are universally enjoyable, I mean it isn't Cigarettes After Sex good, but I'd care to leave mine and Beau's playlist just for us two although I know for a fact it contains way better music than the Top 40 hits radios eat up like fiends.
Beau gives me his hand for me to hold as his eyes remain trained on the road. I turn around slightly to converse with Sophie and Kat, who at this point don't pay any mind to Beau's hand in my lap. They've heard and seen too much to care if we're doing something and minimal as holding hands.
Oh but if we kissed once, a shit ton of juvenile chaos would ensue. Jokes, teasing, and laughter never cease to follow our couple-y ways. Just the perks of being with our respective sisters.
"With KitKat leaving us in a month, who's gonna be our DD?" Sophie exasperates, throwing her hands up in the air like it's the worst thing to ever happen.
Because it is. My sister leaving to attend university in the fall is going to change a lot around here. Last time I went without her, I ended up leaving my home country to start a new life. Though I'm in a completely different scenario than I was two years ago, that isn't going to make me miss her any less. However, now that my parents are working less hours to spend time with us, she thought now was a better time than ever to move out and try to do things on her own. She's independent, we all have faith in her. I just know I'm going to miss having her around constantly. She's played a bigger role in my life than our parents even, suddenly she's going away to start her own journey down life's path.
God, I'm being dramatic, I think Sophie's gotten to my head. She'll only be an hour away at UCSB. I can live.
"Oh you hush," Kat swats at her, "I'm not coming down to visit to drive you both around. Besides," she directs her eyes at me, "senior year is no joke. You'll be lucky to even find the time for a party."
As if senior year wasn't nerve-wracking enough, I'm constantly hearing horror stories from the graduating class of this year. Lorette told me that when senioritis kicked in at the wrong time, she spent all of December cramming in all-nighters on weekends and furiously writing papers she'd fallen behind on. That was my greatest fucking fear, feeling like I was drowning in schoolwork. If I wasn't at the top of my game, the pressure of upcoming due dates would keep me lying awake at night. Junior year was hard enough, the first half of senior year sounded like hell on earth.
It didn't bother Beau one bit though. He was a live-in-the-moment kind of person. He'd get to his assignments when he got to them and be perfectly content with a 3.0 GPA by the end of the semester. Unlike me, he didn't feel the need to take rigorous courses that ate up his time and sanity. He and I both got the privilege of knowing we could get into almost any university we wanted solely based on how much our parents made. But I still wanted to work hard for what I desire, for morality's sake.
"Please don't remind me," I groan.
Sophie perks up, "So how's the living situation? On campus? Off campus? Sorority girl?"
Kat shakes her head incessantly at the last bit. "God no, who do you think I am? I'm living on campus with a friend of mine, I'm really hoping I don't grow to hate her or something like that. You may think you know someone, but then you live with them and it could be a whole other ball game."
I look at Beau, who isn't paying much attention to anything but the freeway. We have yet to establish what we're doing after high school, only that we're going to try to avoid the whole long distance thing. We've practically lived together over the summer, but what if things change? There's still a whole other year of high school left, that a whole year of growing we've still got to do. We've only known each other for a year, even though it feels like a lifetime. What if we come to realize things about the other person that change everything? What if a year from now, we come to realize we're not as compatible as we thought we were? So many relationships don't make it past high school and our pasts haven't proven us to be the luckiest people in the world. Now this whole conversation's got me thinking...
My sister's hand cups my shoulder, nudging me. "Why so tense? You look like you've seen a ghost."
I shake my head, blinking away my worries. "Nothing."
Sophie narrows her eyes at me, analyzing the antsy look that was in my eyes. "She's worried about her own future. Trust me, Jo, you have it figured out better than the rest of us." She nods her head towards Beau, who has begun to catch on.
I laugh it off, "What Kat said got in my head for a minute."
"No, I didn't mean to direct it towards you," Kat quickly backtracks, "Besides, I think you've gotten a glimpse of what your future's going to be like." She makes it apparent that I'm still holding Beau's hand, wiggling her brows teasingly.
They move on to the next topic of conversation, as one topic could only hold their attention for so long. I simply listen in as I'd been most of the car ride, but now me and Beau are exchanging glances now and then. Our minds, I suppose, never leave that talk about the future. The talk we still need to have between ourselves.
Beau pulls into the parking lot of the bowling alley and parks the car as close to the front as we can get. Luke and Sel tell Sophie that they're on their way and will be there in a bit. Sophie and Kat are the first ones to scurry off to the entrance to be able to get a say of the order of our turns. Beau and I linger further and further behind them.
With a deep intake of breath, he takes my hand and drapes his entire arm across my shoulders. He holds me close to him. "You have it all figured out, huh?" he recalls the earlier conversation just as I'd expected.
"I don't know," I press my lips into a thin line, "I wanted to know what you thought."
He stays silent for a beat.
"We knew we'd have to have this talk sooner or later," I add.
His lips part to say something else, but by then, Sophie's voice had cut him off to order us to hurry ourselves up. I knew this wasn't the day, or the time, or the place to be discussing such a heavy thing as our future together. We'd always dreamed of a life together with marriage and kids, but we never discussed how we were actually going to get to that point.
And today, at least, I didn't want to know. Instead, I just wanted to appreciate this moment of happiness and this precious time with my friends. I didn't want my birthday to be anything shy of content, that's the gift I'd be giving to myself. To relieve myself of everything and take no thoughts of tomorrow.
Nodding curtly at Beau, I quicken our steps to catch up with Sophie. Kat waits not too far in front of her admiring the shiny bowling balls on display. "I read somewhere that you're actually not supposed to use the heaviest ball you can pick up," she remarks, "Because you'll get tired faster and you'll have less control of the ball."
I walk past her, winking at her over my shoulder, "Thanks for the tip, I'll make sure to keep that in mind when I'm kicking your ass on the first round."
She audibly scoffs, "Yeah, right. I don't care if it's your birthday, I'm still looking forward to beating you."
I stick my tongue out at her, causing Beau to chuckle. Kat returns the favor and Sophie says something along the lines of not getting too cocky and jinxing herself. Which I'll bet is what's going to happen because it's always the players with the most to say end up being the sore losers.
Okay, so I've got a little competitive side in me, yet I prefer my winnings to be strategic and well-thought out. It's bowling, how strategic could it get, one may wonder. Well aside from rolling the ball accurately and fast enough to knock down all the pins you can, I know the psychological tricks in play. The ones who are the most boastful and confident are the ones who let that get to their heads and it alters their skills. It's why the 'underdog' almost always comes out on top, because they never get full of themselves.
I'm not saying I'm going to win it all though, not trying to jinx that before the game's even started.
We all rent our shoes and an alley to ourselves. Beau pulls me off to the side as soon as the girl behind the counter hands us our shoes. He ushers me to another counter to order food and pull out cash so we can play in the arcade for however long it takes Luke and Sel to get here. "Get whatever you want, I'm buying," he says, leaving no room for opposition. For the hell of it, I open my mouth to say something, yet his hand snakes under my chin and closes my parted lips. "Unless it's a thank you, I don't wanna hear it," he grins.
It's my birthday, so I'll let him have this. But he better expect the same in return when his birthday rolls around. "Thank you," I smile, "You're such a good boyfriend, you know that? Your next answer better be yes." Raising an expectant brow at him, I fold my arms.
His soft laugh fills my ears. "Yes, I try," he says humbly. It's the only time he'd ever known humility, whenever I was the individual in question. "I try for you because I know you don't deserve anything less than perfect." Tightening his arm around me, he presses his lips to the scar above my brow, inches shy of my temple. I bury my face in his chest to hide the obvious showcase of shyness coating my cheeks.
"I think you're doing really great, better than I've been at some points." Sure, he's had his moments where he could've made a better decision, but what's a relationship without its ups and downs? All this time, he's remained nothing but consistent and understanding. I couldn't ask for anything better than what I have now, I wouldn't dream of it. My voice goes soft and quiet, just for our ears, "Everything I'll ever need, I have right here." My arms loop around his torso while my eyes admire him up above. He's so beautiful.
"You don't need to worry about us, baby, I mean it. I don't care if you want to move away or stick around here even, I'm going wherever you go. How's my moonlight going to light up my nights when she's a thousand miles away, hm?" his smile deepens, making his dimples poke through adorably.
Smiling giddily and incessantly like a damn idiot, I ask, "You really mean that?" I wouldn't doubt for a second that he'd do anything for me, and I him. If it really came down to it I'd move a thousand miles away with him if that's what he really wanted. It only takes a minute for my mind to wrap around the idea that we'd do anything for one another. How far deep our love went in order to reach that point...our love went way past logic. Love in general was never meant to be figured out, it simply existed and one couldn't control it no matter how hard they tried.
He nods concretely, "Of course I do, you are my life. Every time I look into your eyes, I see a future I never thought I'd have."
Because there's people around, I refrain from giving into my temptation to kiss him right here and now. How he strings words along so perfectly is beyond me. His mind is really a beautiful thing to have gotten to know. If past lives were a real thing, that two souls were always destined to stumble upon one another in each life, I might have thought that he was a poet, he was so good with words. I'd have been his inspiration, his muse.
And if we ever found ourselves on this earth, I'd feel at peace knowing my heart would find his every single time. Like eternal magnets that never ceased to bring us together.
I sneak a little peck of gratitude, no one we know is watching anyway. For the brief moment our lips stay connected, he gives my shoulder a light, reaffirming squeeze.
At the very last minute, I take a look at the menu and decide on having a cherry slushie and fries to munch on between turns. Because he insists on treating me, I add a candy bar to that because it can't hurt. When our turn comes he walks up to the guy in front and orders when I want, a blueberry slushie for himself, and pizzas for everyone else. As we're walking towards the arcade, he makes a comment about how everyone can get their own fucking slushies and I let out a small chuckle. I'm surprised he was generous enough to order pizza, so I'm sure the others will be delighted enough to have that at least.
We each get five dollars worth of quarters to play a few games to pass time. The blue-lit arcade has more old school looking games on one side and the more modern ones on the other. I don't play video games much, I only know a handful of them from what Beau's taught me. Beau's got the agile fingers to me about to hide and shoot and do whatever the fuck these games expect you to do all at once meanwhile I'm stuck spending half the time figuring out the controls, so those shooting games are an automatic no for me.
Midway through my steps towards the Skee-Ball machine, I feel Beau's large hands around my waist whipping me around to face him. "Need I remind you I have an Air Hockey championship to uphold?"
I let out a 'pfft' sound, "You and your pride. Watch when I beat you one of these days," I threaten as we make our way towards one of the air hockey tables. We slip the needed amount of quarters to get the game started and I made certain to get the puck on my side so I'd have the upperhand advantage right off the bat.
The second I hear the motor beneath the table start to run, I take the risk of sending the red puck flying across the table. The self-proclaimed champion is caught off guard as the puck makes a straight beeline into the goal. "Sorry, what did you say?" I tease.
He lets off a disbelieving chuckle, "Your tactics never change, my love." And neither do his. He places the puck back on the table and hits it forcefully onto my side. That's how we prefer to play, fast and aggressive in hopes that the other person's reflexes will be too slow to keep up. The puck goes back and forth in flashes, slamming into the sides and into our goals. The last time I checked the scoreboard, he was two points ahead.
"Give it up, Jo."
"Not a chance."
The puck makes a dead stop on my side, merely inches too short of going through the goal. We both look up at the scoreboard as the air fizzles out.
Sure enough, he wins by a damn point. Way to stroke his goddamn ego.
I stick my nose up in the air, walking away with my slushie in hand. "I don't want to hear it," I huff dramatically before taking a sip of my cool drink.
"You can say it now, you just can't beat me at air hockey," he grins proudly.
"I can find ways to beat you," I smirk.
His brows raise playfully, "How?"
Grabbing his hand to stop him from walking any further, I push myself up on my toes a bit, using that added height to bring my lips and his earlobe to an equal level. "Most of them aren't suitable for a public setting," I purr suggestively. Biting my lip as soon as I utter those words, I ease myself back down to get a good look at his widened eyes, taking it in haughtily. He makes this too easy for me; we both know how much power I hold in the palm of my hand when it comes to affecting his thoughts and his body. I don't even have to pay close attention to be sure that there are shivers crawling up his spine.
He seems to underestimate my willingness to take things to the next level when it comes to sex. I've been ready since I made myself come to the mere thought of him. His apprehension to making me feel the things I once felt is expected, but I want to let him know in any possible way that I want him. We've had a history of saying and doing the wrong things in moments of lust, but I know for a fact that to go further is what I want. Believe me, I've had a lot of time to ponder the thought and even though I know I'll be nervous the first time around, I'll feel incredibly safe with him. The intimate moments we've shared have proven that he'll treat me with the utmost care
I think he's underestimating himself. As he had in the beginning of our relationship when we had our first time together and he'd been so afraid he'd be too rough with me or I'd regret what we did somehow. It wasn't the case then and it isn't the case now. I'm sure that he doesn't have anything to worry about and after the moment we shared yesterday, I'm filled with even more clarity.
Not a single article of clothing had been stripped from either of our bodies. Yet it'd still been so intimate as we kept our eyes locked on each other, consuming ourselves in the other person's pleasure. There was no nakedness that I'd come to be hyper aware of. No overexposure to make me shy away. Yet even if there had been, I doubt I would have minded. Everything down to the way he touches me makes me feel so fucking beautiful and cherished by him. I wouldn't trust anyone besides him to help me find my way back to the sexually confident person I was.
"If you're not comfortable yet, that's completely okay," I preface while my hands run up his chest to slowly loop around his neck, "but I'd be really happy if we went even further. Tonight." It isn't like me to make such propositions, on the other hand, he tends to feel more comfortable knowing exactly what I want. The whole point of this is ensuring that both of us are comfortable, right?
His eyes light up with an enticed gleam, "That can be arranged," he replies. He obviously knows something I don't. Whatever night he's planned out for the two of us just got better, his far-off dreamy look enlightens me.
We play a few more games, keeping score of how many we've won against each other. I walked out with five victories in my possession while he only won three times. He swears left and right he 'graciously let' me win because it's my birthday. I saw his genuine frustration during the games he lost, I know he's full of shit.
As we head out to our designated alley, we toss out our empty slushies and buy lemonades for the time being. Up ahead I spot Sel, Kat, and Sophie animatedly conversing with one another like they hadn't caught up in ages. We approach them and Sel's attention shifts to me. She pulls me in for a hug and beams, "God, I haven't seen you in forever! Happy birthday."
"Thanks." She reaches over the table to pick up a light pink bag with white and gold tissue paper sticking out of it. Upon handing it to me, it's immediately heavier than expected.
"It's from me and Luke, even though I went out and shopped for it. He came up with the idea though, so I guess I'll give him the credit," she gushes sarcastically.
"Should I wait for him to open it then?" I look around, seeing that he's nowhere around.
"Oh he just took off to the bathroom, I warned him that if he missed it, it's his loss. Open it!"
I can't shut down Selena's sweet smile and bright brown eyes ecstatically awaiting me to open her gift. Caving in, I dive my hands into the tissue paper and pull out a corkboard with a box of simple gold thumbtacks attached to the back of it. I'm guessing that was the heavy item and the reason for the big bag. I crumble up the paper into smaller balls to set it aside to recover what's at the bottom of the bag. I perk up excitedly as I pull out two disposable cameras and a small photo album.
"This is great, Sel, thank you so much," I smile, giving her another hug full of gratitude.
"We have to make a trip down to Hollywood Boulevard with that," Sophie squeals as I hand her the camera to get a closer look.
"The Griffith Observatory, the pier, Venice Beach, we have to fill up that album as much as we can," Kat adds. Whenever I get the chance to visit her, we're surely going around her campus and taking pictures. She goes to university on a beach practically. It'll be great to visit during the spring.
"You opened it already?" Luke calls out to us from a few feet away. One by one we all looked up guiltily as if we were children opening presents before Christmas arrived.
Simultaneously we all turn to Sel, who brings her shoulders up slowly and tilts her head a little, "Oops?" she grimaces. He attempts to feign a glare, but even he agrees her wide, bright eyes are hard to resist. He rolls his eyes, laughing us off, and comes over to my side.
Giving me a side hug, he jokes, "Happy getting-older day."
"You're older than me!" I point out defensively, jabbing my finger at him. He turned seventeen earlier this summer, shortly after Beau came back from London he held a small gathering. He invited me and Beau, but my wounds were so fresh then that we opted out. Luke had known I'd recently been released from the hospital, so he understood. But as far as things went, that was as much as he and Sel knew.
After some chit-chat and teasing the boys for finishing almost an entire pizza between the two of them, we finally got to playing. Sophie let me have the first turn since it was my birthday, then it went to her and then Kat. While they took their turns, I was off pretending I was too busy conversing with Sel to even notice so that I'd go under the radar as a non-threat. I'd hit nine pins in the two attempts I had, I still had some warming up to do though.
Selena went next and she'd admitted that she'd only gone bowling a handful of times. She also admitted that she fully intended on Luke taking some turns for her so her score wouldn't look so low. On her first turn, she only knocked down six pins, which wasn't bad for someone who hardly played.
I wasn't surprised to see Beau last in the first frame. Sophie had the most say in the order and I would have been shocked if she'd put him anywhere else. After Luke took his turn, Beau approached the start of the lane. "Watch and learn," he said, directing the comment towards his sister, who flipped him off for his arrogance. As confident as he was skilled, he knocked down all ten pins in one solid go.
Five frames came and went with much shit-talk and laughing to go around. They even came at me, the reason we were all here, for rolling the ball into the gutter a few times. Beau got in on the fun solely because I targeted him and Luke for acting all high-and-mighty on their turns.
By the sixth frame, we'd eaten up all the pizza and fries. Sophie and I took off to get us more drinks since she had a fake ID that could get the others anything they wanted. As hard as they tried to convince me to do some birthday shots, I knew Beau and I would be out long after they went home and got to sleep off their buzz, so drinking this early would only tire me out. Therefore, I opted out and let them take shots in my honor.
We came back with fountain drinks for everyone. Sophie and Luke were off bickering about whether or not Pepsi and Coca-Cola tasted the same. I handed Beau the Coke I got him. As he reached out to grab the cup, I heard a startling gasp in Sophie's general direction that made all of us snap our heads to look at her. Even Luke, who had not a fucking clue what her fuss was all about.
She blurts out suddenly, "You've got a fucking tattoo!"
I try to act all nonchalant at first, but internally, my heart is pounding so hard I can hear it. There's no other person she could be referring to, as there are only so many people our age who have tattoos. Beau's the one with his arm extended out and his sleeve falling fairly high up his arm and he seems to be the only one she's referring to.
"No," he mutters instantly, grabbing the soda and shrugging the sleeve lower.
Sophie rushes forward. "No, I know what I saw."
"You're as blind as a bat, only things you see are blobs," Beau retorts. At this point, everyone in our group's looking over at him, hoping to get a glimpse of his tattoo.
Shit, this is not how this was supposed to go down.
I step aside nervously, only awaiting Sophie to get close enough to pull up his sleeve and see my name. It couldn't get any more obvious than that.
Kat turns to me with a sly grin. "Does he?"
I play dumb, not knowing how else I'm supposed to act. "Does he what?"
Sel turns around too, now they're both looking at me. Christ, I'm a terrible liar when things are this painfully obvious, they'll see right through me. "Does he have a tattoo?" Kat pries.
"Yes," Beau admits before Sophie can get any closer. "Okay yes, I have a tattoo, io got it when we were in London."
Sophie's jaw drops in total disbelief. "You hid it for that long?" Shockingly so.
"I swear to god, if you tell Mum–"
"Relax, I won't tell her, you moron. Let me see it."
His eyes find mine. Well, the secret's out now. I let off a shrug and gesture to my eager best friend. Ultimately, it's up to him, but I don't mind. His gaze darts back to Sophie's and he curses under his breath as he tugs his sleeve up to his shoulder.
Everyone, including Luke, comes over to his side to get a closer look. He props his opposite elbow on the table, rolling his eyes as the others prod at him. Again, his eyes return to my gleeful ones. Help me, he mouths. "I feel like a fucking science experiment," he grumbles for all of them to hear.
"What's the date?" Sel inquires, appearing to be the least invasive out of all of them as she stands beside Luke just looking at the ink.
Beau smiles at me, our eyes never leaving one another when he answers, "The day I told her I couldn't live without her." I tuck my bottom lip between my teeth, hearing the sweet reminder all over again. He couldn't live without me so much that he permeated my name into his skin. That was a greater seal of our fate than any string of words either of us could knit together.
a/n
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