(TW: Bullying, low self-esteem, disordered eating etc - please read the content warning in the intro chapter, I won't keep listing at the start of every chapter. Please know this is a dark book, and it won't be suitable to read any chapters if you find these topics hard/triggering. The last thing I want to do is trigger anyone, so please don't read this if it isn't appropriate for you)
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You kept your left arm wrapped tightly around your stomach as you tried to listen to your teacher. They droned on about Italian adjectives that seemed useless to conversational language you would actually use.
Your stomach crumbled but you weren't hungry.
You weren't hungry.
You kept repeating it over and over again, but your stomach still growled relentlessly. It felt like it was eating itself.
As the lesson was coming to an end, the teacher passed out small chocolates to everyone. He said it was for completing his hardest lesson yet.
You felt a plastic nail tip tap you on your shoulder, turning to see Vanessa's tacky french tip retracting from your shoulder blade.
"A moment on your lips, a lifetime on your hips. God knows you don't need any extra weight on you." She taunted.
Her shoulder length dark hair was pulled back into a neat braid. Framing hairs around her face fell too neatly for her to look untidy, they made her look perfect.
You didn't want to eat it, but something inside of you wanted to. Just to piss her off.
Of course you kept your mouth silent though, facing back to the front.
As the bell rang you stood up from your desk, leaving the small chocolate on the corner of the wooden surface.
You heard snickers, followed by Vanessa's unmistakable voice. "She must be starving herself to death. It's about time."
More laughter followed from her likeminded friends.
You brushed it off heading for the toilet.
You locked yourself in the bathroom cubicle as you usually would during lunch time. You didn't want anybody to find you, to talk to you. It was the only place you ever found peace.
You pulled out your journal from in-between one of the binders, as well as a pencil you kept in your pencil case. You started filling the corners of the page with your own light illustrations, this was the first time you'd ever used this journal.
Soon the first page was bordered by your illustrations.
You lettered a small sentence in the middle.
18 Ways to Die Before 18.
1. Affamato | Death by hunger, starve until there is nothing left of this body.
Affamato, there's an Italian adjective for you.
You walked the long way home after school. You used to catch the bus, but it just wasn't bearable. First it was just Victoria, then Damiano and Ethan. Slowly but surely people would join in. Soon Vanessa and her clique, then it was the whole grade.
You were the school's laughing stock. The freak. The failure.
You killed someone after all, no one ever forgave you, either.
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Scary to put the first chapter out. Thoughts?
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