I knocked on the door a couple of times.
Then, the door swung open. "Leelee!" she threw her arms around me.
"Hey, Lala."
She hugged Jake who was standing next to me. "Hey, Jakey." She turned to me. "What're you guys doing here? Together?"
I rolled my eyes. "I'm going to finally meet my secret admirer. I need something to wear."
Delilah jumped up and down, clapping her hands rapidly with a wide grin on her face. "Let's go!" She pulled my wrist and we ran up the stairs. I almost tripped over myself trying to keep up with her.
I sat on her bed while she rummaged through her closet.
Jake came into the room and sat down on Deliah's bed next to me. "Was this what she did yesterday?" he whispered.
I nodded. "Oh yeah."
It took about half an hour for Delilah to settle on a single outfit. That was actually a record time for her.
I groaned and fell back on the bed. "Delilah?"
"Yeah?" her voice came from the closet.
"Done yet?" I called, staring at her ceiling where she put a collages of pictures of designers clothes. It was actually really interesting to look at.
I heard her giggle when she raced her way towards me with a dress in her arms. I sat up and took a really good look at the dress in her arms.
It was so beautiful. It was a white dress. It wasn't a gown or anything too much. It was sleeveless and was cut right above the knee. It was just right.
"Go, go, go!" Delilah urged as she handed me the dress and pushed me towards the bathroom.
I tried to take my time and think things through.
How can I do this? Am I really deciding between Cam and my secret admirer? Who really is more important to me?
Something inside me just felt all guilty. Either way, I'd have to break someone's heart. Facing that fact is bad enough. Choosing between the two is horrible!
It's a heart-wrenching decision that only I can make. And this decision could change my life.
+++
Delilah had me wait in the chair as she curled my hair with an iron.
"Delilah? Don't you think it's a little...too much?" I asked her hesitantly as I looked in the mirror. I really couldn't believe that was me in the mirror.
She shook her head. "I don't think it is. Which guy wouldn't want to see the girl he's been crushing on in a dress like that the first time they meet face-to-face?"
I pondered. "Then, what would I wear to a real date?" I asked her.
She giggled. "Just leave all that stuff to me." She finished one last curl and place the iron down gently.
She stepped in front of me and took a good look at my face. She smiled widely. "You look amazing!"
I stood up and tried to walk in my two-inch heels. I flashed a smile at Delilah. "Thanks so much for everything!" I said, giving her a hug.
"You're welcome, Leelee," she said happily. She ran to the doors and pulled Jake by the hand into the bathroom.
"...take so much time over how you look? Why are you bringing me in--" Jake instantly stopped ranting when he saw me.
I looked up at him and smiled. "So, you think it's too much?"
He eyed me up and down. "No, not at all. I'm sure he'll love it," Jake assured me.
Delilah punched Jake in the arm. "Ha! I told you she looked really pretty! What did I tell you?!"
Jake shot her a look.
Delilah's eyes flicked to mine. "So, where are you guys going to be meeting anyway? A restaurant? A concert?"
I shook my head. "No. Somewhere way better," I said with a wide smile.
"Jake? Do you mind taking me to the field?"
Jake looked puzzled and crossed his arms. "What field?"
"The field behind your yard," I explained to him once more.
He finally understood. He nodded. "Alright. Let's go."
Jake offered me his hand and he led me downstairs like a princess. I felt so beautiful. I would never forget this night. From beginning to end, I knew this day was going to be great.
We finally loaded into the car but Delilah was standing on her porch, not budging.
"Aren't you coming?" I called out to Delilah.
She shook her head. "No, I'll be fine. Go on without me. You and your secret admirer have to have some time alone." She gave me a thumbs-up and waved goodbye.
I waved goodbye and smiled. And we zoomed towards our next destination.
+++
We finally stopped the car in front of the tree in the middle of the field. There was a slight jerk and the seatbelt stopped me.
For a moment, I tried to collect myself before looking up at Jake who was waiting for me.
I took a deep breath. "I'm nervous," I admitted. I felt my palms starting to sweat even though it was a temperate night. I started playing with my bracelet with my fingers.
Jake touched my arm. "Just don't think about it. Just be yourself and everything will go right," he assured me with a smile.
I took a deep breath and smiled back.
"Come on," he ushered as he got out of the car. He slammed the car door.
I rolled my eyes and got out. I jumped on my feet and onto the bright, green grass. I slammed the car door and made my way around the car to where Jake was standing silently with his hands in his pockets.
I stopped and stood next to him, trying to follow his gaze.
He was simply staring at the horizon.
I wrinkled my eyebrows together. "What're you doing?"
He bit his lip and pondered for a while. I tried to imagine what could've been on his mind.
"Don't you remember it?" he asked, interrupting the long silence.
I leaned my back against the car and tilted my head to the side. I looked at the horizon for a very long time. Finally, I realized what he was thinking of.
I nodded and looked at Jake. "Yeah, I do."
He laughed. "We were so young."
I smiled remembering how many times we'd come here just to paint and draw. We'd make up random games and laugh for hours. Suddenly, I missed those moments. Have you ever had a flashback and suddenly miss everything from back then? It's a beautiful-sad feeling.
"You know," I began to tell Jake. "I really miss being here."
He looked me in the eyes. "So do I."
I felt the urge to just to run.
I grabbed Jake's hand and pulled him along with me. "Come on!" I yelled. I heard my own voice echo throughout the field. My own voice rang out through the sky and hills.
Jake laughed along with me. I felt like I was a little girl again.
I ran through the flowers and just laid myself down in a random spot in the field. The plants were so tall, I didn't think people could actually see me when I lied down.
I stared at the orangey sky with clouds dancing around. The stars are starting to sprinkle out.
I try to recall all the memories of how Jake and I would just pick up our paint brushes and pretend we were painting in the sky. We'd try to imagine how beautiful our paintings would be if they would stay in the sky forever. Well, we were six. And I think if it did stay the same, it would be one retarded sky.
I grinned to myself. I was so caught up with the memories, I forgot Jake was with me.
"Hey, Jake?"
"Yeah," he responded.
"I know that it's been about eleven years since the first day we met and all, but I want to thank you."
He lifted an eyebrow. "What? Why?"
"I don't know," I said at first. "I guess it's just that this field reminded me of all those times we spent together and how much I miss it. And I love how you've always been here for me for all these eleven years. I mean, don't you remember how we used to paint?" I asked him.
He smiled and laughed. "Oh, gosh. That was so fun. We'd just go here right after school and stay until the sun set. We'd lie in the grass and look at the sky just like this." He sighed. "Yeah, I miss those moments too. But, we can never go back and relive them."
I stopped him by saying, "Nu-uh! We're reliving the memories right now! We're lying in the grass and painting in the sky," I told him.
I looked at the sky for a couple of seconds and then closed my eyes. I lifted my hand and started making brushstrokes with my hand. My imagination was the brush, and the sky was my canvas.
Before I knew it, I had painted a lovely picture in my head. Of course, a daisy.
"So, how does it feel like to be in love, Natalie?" Jake asked me.
With my eyes still closed, I explained, "It's a beautiful feeling, I swear. Just knowing that someone out there cares about me enough to do so much for me and to give me daisies. Just knowing, a guy like... him could even exist."
Jake studied my face. He said, "It's really hard to understand you. I mean, no one's ever loved me. I wish I could tell you I know how it feels, but...I can't."
I looked at him confused. "What do you mean? So many girls have had crushes on you. How can you not feel loved?"
He sighed. "Because none of them actually took the time to get to know me. They just assume I'm a great person and say, 'I love you.' I want a girl who will give me a chance to get to know her and then know if we actually love each other. Is that so hard?" he asked me.
I shook my head. "I don't think so. I've always wanted a guy like that too. But, my secret admirer is my exception."
Jake and I laughed.
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. "Don't worry, Jake. A girl will come along."
He sighed. "I sure hope so."
I stared at him. "You know, sometimes, I never wanted to get up from here. For some reason, the worst part of the day for me was going home. I never wanted to leave."
For a moment, we just listened to the crickets sing. We didn't say anything. It was almost like our escape to our world.
I felt Jake's hand touch mine. I felt all tingly inside.
I shot my eyes open to find him staring at me.
I gave him a confused look. But he just smiled. It was those kind of smiles you couldn't identify. It could've been because he was really happy or because he was trying to hide the pain.
He took a breath then squeezed my hand gently.
I suddenly heard a loud rustle of leaves. I sat up straight to look for what caused the mysterious sound.
Then, I pulled Jake up to his feet. We ran back towards to the tree to find what it was.
We stopped at the tree, trying to catch our breath.
I took a deep breath. "Don't you just love the rush?"
He nodded and laughed. "I love it too."
I smiled awkwardly. I leaned on the trunk of the tree with my arms crossed across my chest. The stars look so beautiful, sprinkled across the sky.
Jake stood close to me. "You know, I never wanted to go home either," he whispered.
I turned to face him. He smiled genuinely.
I couldn't understand why all of a sudden my body felt weak and tingly. Or even why my heart started to beat so quickly.
Jake reached for my hand. I gasped.
I forced myself to breathe. My eyes filled with tears. Why did I just realize that Jake's eyes were staring deeply into mine? Why hadn't I noticed how handsome he was? Suddenly, for just a moment, I forgot why I was even there.
He inched closer to me. I felt a little shock in my body. More surprisingly, I leaned closer too.
Finally, our lips touched. Everything rushed through my head. Every memory I could remember through the past couple of days. The letters, the daisy, the bracelet, The Sentimental Sunrise, Cam... But the last memory froze in my mind. It was Jake. Jake and me when we were younger. We were painting. Smiling and laughing with each other. We were so happy. What was worse was that, why did I just realize how much it meant to me. How much he meant to me.
He parted from my lips. I stared right into his bright, green eyes. They were so different from Cam's.
He touched my face lightly with his fingers. It sent a shiver down my spine.
"I.--I can't--I have to go," he stuttered.
I grasped his hand. "Wait. What?"
He smiled weakly then it all disappeared. "I just have to. I need to be somewhere," he explained.
I squeezed his hand. My eyebrows wrinkled. How could he just leave me? "Wha--why?" I asked him shakily.
He shook his head. He kissed my cheek lightly. "You really do look beautiful tonight," he said bluntly. He bit his lip and started to walk away.
"Wait! Where are you going?" I called from where I was standing while I watched him slowly walked away.
He shrugged. He called back, "Somewhere. Not here."
My head formed a bundle of questions that I know I myself couldn't answer. The confusion made my heart ache.
I watched him get into his car and drive away, leaving me with nothing more than the warmth of his lips.
+++
There was another rustle in the bushes. I whipped my head around. On the bench, there was a daisy and a letter already waiting for me.