You wake up one day and you look down and it's there. A time clock counting down upon your skin. Telling you when you've found your soulmate. The soulmate you've waited your entire life for. Except this number doesn't end when you meet them. It doesn't go off like a radar. You don't know anything until that timer hits zero and theirs does the same.
It's not just the timer that holds the key to answer all of our questions. It's the book that writes itself as well. Your life plays out before you in words magically appearing on pages. You wake up and the book begins to start. You close your eyes and the book loses its magic. You feed the book. You write the book. You make the book.
Today the clock has appeared. Red numbers inked into my skin. Two-hundred-fifty-three. That's the amount of days left until my soulmate turns into my soulmate. I could walk up to someone today, my first real time meeting a person, and meet my soulmate. I won't know that's them until my timer hits zero. Soulmates are built, not born. All the knowledge I have is unknown until it starts appearing in my book.
When time gets closer days will turn into hours, hours into minutes, and minutes into seconds. And then the clock hits zero and there they should be. That is how it is all supposed to work. But sometimes things go awry. Sometimes your book stops writing. Sometimes your numbers seize to change and you're stuck to figure it all out on your own.
Who is your soulmate? You won't know. You won't have the indicator anymore. All you have is you and your instinct. At least that is how it used to be. But recently the world has been trying out something new. Self isolation.
You are stuck in the four blank walls of your room until your clock appears. You see no one. You speak to no one. You sit. You learn. You sleep. Life is routine. There is no stepping out of boundaries. You follow the rules set to you. That is life.
"Two-Five-Three-Two-Zero-Two-Two." My ears pull alert as a knock sounds against my stark white door. It has no texture. It's flat, blank, cold. We are numbers here. At least until that number appears on your arm. Then you become real. You become what the world wants you to be known as.
My door slides open on an automated control as I walk over to it. "Two-Five-Three-Zero-Two-Two today seems to be your lucky day." A short man stands before me. He seems younger than I but somehow he's been lucky enough to have been out for sometime. I can tell by his chipper nature. I can tell by the smile placed upon his face. But most of all, I can tell by the three dashes along his wrist that he has been met by the one.
"It seems as though today is." I hold my wrist out admiring the red ink ingrained in my skin with three simple numbers. I feel like I have waited so long for the number to appear. I feel like everyone number's appear when they're in their teens. And I'm now in my twenties.
They do tell us your numbers will only appear when you are truly and fully ready. I was definitely glad that for whatever reason I was finally ready.
"I will be your guide into the outside world. You may refer to me as Q." He holds his arm out for me to hook around his. I follow eagerly, ready to see sunlight for the first time. Ready to feel heat upon my skin. Ready to hear the sound of the wildlife bustling around. Ready to feel the wind blow through my hair. Ready to actually experience what we all live for.
"Q, do some of us not make it out of these rooms?" I look back towards my room as Q leads me off into the world. There are people. Lots of people. They are roaming freely. People of all shapes and sizes. I feel alive getting this stimulation. It's not overbearing. It's needed. It's wanted.
"Some do not but they have a different role in this world than you or I. They don't get numbers. They get a life of knowledge and expansion. They help us grow into a better society. They help fix the issues in our technology. You and I are lucky enough to find love. And they are lucky enough to help lead us in that direction." Q's voice is endearing. I'm sure he's been given a script to say but all of his words make this world feel so inviting.
"So do you know who my soulmate is?" I look at Q as his feet pull to a stop on the sidewalk.
"I do. But I cannot direct you to them. That is for you to figure out. You get hints along the way through your book. You will find the one. Just make sure you keep your eyes open. Now I have to go. When the sound alarms, return back to your room. I will meet you again tomorrow. Good luck." Q walks off into the distance. Probably off to meet his next lucky contestant of Who is Your Soulmate.
***
I begin my journey in the real world alone. Everyone is unique in their own way. There is no person that looks the same. Some of us look like humans. Some look half this and half that. It's like the mythical worlds I used to read about growing up. I always begged for more but the governor of this world wouldn't allow me to pull away from my goal. Love.
"You're new." A man walks up to me. I glance down at his wrist forgetting that you can't see other's times. That defeats the whole purpose of this all. You'd just go out searching for the one whose number matched yours. You are supposed to make mistakes along the way. Make friends and have heartbreaks.
"First day." I say shortly, not too sure of what to say. I've never been able to have a real conversation with a person. It's not allowed. Q was the first. But he was different. He wasn't a prospective candidate. Everyone else would be.
"Depends on who you ask but, I'm Nick or Sapnap. You can pick what you'd like to call me." He smiles so innocently but I see a fire behind him. He isn't as innocent as he appears. He's a rule breaker. I can tell in the way he carries himself. He is someone I should stay clear of. But I'll hold onto him for now. I need someone who knows the way.
"You have a human name." I say softly. "And an alter name."
"Different names for different people. Easiest way to distinguish potential life partners, friends and others. It's different for everyone. You can have both. You can have neither. You can keep your number. It's all up to you, Two-Five-Three-Two-Zero-Two-Two." He reads the embroidered number off my shirt.
"Who picked your names?" I ask, wanting to know how to go about the entire process. They don't teach you about this stuff in the books or the videos they shove down your throat. They just throw you out to learn it in the world yourself. Thankfully, I was led straight to someone willing to give me the knowledge I so desperately needed.
"My mother left a book of names that my father and her had chosen for me. Back when parents were allowed to name their children. Back before we were all just numbers. I wanted to pay tribute to them so I picked Nick as my, as you call it, human name. And a friend I met out here came up with Sapnap." He shrugs as he reaches out to grab my hand. "Come on, you should meet my friends."
I didn't know stepping out here would be this easy. I thought I was going to go days of being alone. But in seconds I had a 'friend'. I had someone who noticed my arrival. This isn't how I expected my day to go at all. I wasn't mad about it though. I had... someone.
Nick, Sapnap, no, Nick, god I don't know what to call him. Am I supposed to trust him? Everything I've been taught in the four blank walls of my room tells me not to trust him. But he took the effort to see me, to notice. We've been taught that is what you should look for in your soulmate. Someone who extends their arm out without hesitation. But he radiates bad news
***
"Guys this is," Nick pauses as he closes his eyes, "Two-Five-Three-Two-Zero-Two-Two." He turns and reads the number on the front of my shirt. "Fuck yes, I got it."
I nod my head. "Nice memory you got there." That is one thing that we are taught to be good at, memorizing. So much information is thrown at us all at once that when we walk into the world we have to be detail-oriented. We have to take note of things that past worlds thought were miniscule. Life is different now. We need to be different.
"It's a bunch of twos, it's not that hard to remember." A man sitting down across from me says bluntly. He isn't warm or inviting. He's quite harsh honestly. Seems like a man who likes to keep his circle small, despite having a crowd of people around him.
He copies Nick by closing his eyes, "Two-Five-Three-Two-Zero-Two-Two," he opens his eyes with a smirk plastered on his face. He knows right away that he's gotten it right. Cocky, arrogant even. Another man I need to watch, pay attention to, keep my distance from.
You know an even better word to fit this man? Ego. He has an ego. I don't know if I can compete with that. "And who might you be, smart mouth?" I push back. I know that I'm supposed to ease into things but I can't help my personality from sliding through. Your personality is what is supposed to win you your soulmate, right?
"Dream." He says blunt. No other words escape.
"You think you're some sort of Dream for your potential match." I laugh but stop myself midway through. I need to calm down my sarcastic bitchiness. I need to win people over. Not break potential bonds. But do I even really want a bond with an egotistical asshole?
"I am a dream." He raises himself off the chair he's sat on. "And right now, you're a nightmare."
"Are you trying to name me?" I cross my arms over my chest.
"If I was, you'd be bitch, not nightmare. Dream and Nightmare are pairs. And I don't want to be your pair." Dream says bold and harsh.
Wow. This is definitely not what I expected out of this meeting. Definitely not after how friendly Nick was to me. I was expecting a warm welcome from everyone. They do warn you, not everything is going to be pretty. It isn't always rainbows and butterflies. I guess this is why you get a warning. People like him.
"He also goes by Clay. Don't take his brash personality at face value. He's just dealing with a break up. She was not his soulmate and as you can tell, it's been soul crushing." Nick says with a bit of comfort and I look at him with a smile.
"Fuck off Nick no one asked for your words." Clay gives him the finger and returns to his seat. There is no way I'm inflating this man's ego and calling him Dream. He is not a fucking Dream. Even if he looks like one.
Another person enters the courtyard we are all gathered in and Clay's entire demeanor changes. He goes light, angelic even. It's like his ego doesn't even exist. "Dream, be nice to our guest." He looks like a young boy but I know that he is not. He can't be. Not with friends like these. They're too... adult-ish.
"Sorry George." Dream says as George takes a seat next to him. "I'll be nice." Clay looks at me up through his lashes and I can sense the lie hanging on his words. The moment George leaves he will be ready to jump down my throat again. For whatever reason he has to hate me.
"Someone's getting their dick sucked." I say under my breath as I roll my eyes and I look away from Clay.
"You can't say that." Nick says quietly as he bumps my arm. "Those are things you only speak in private about." Rules. The basic rule. Rule number thirteen: anything sexual in nature must be kept behind closed doors. This includes words and physical acts.
"Coming from someone who looks like a rule breaker I'm shocked you've said anything." I raise my brows. My voice speaks low as I copy Nick's tone.
Nick is silent. I really shouldn't be coming off this hard. I need to tone down my attitude. I can't be sarcastic like this. I'm supposed to be finding my true love. But then again, I do have two-hundred-fifty-three days to find that person. I have time to make errors, don't I?
"I follow the rules." Nick says before placing his lips against my ear. The closeness of his body to mine sends a shiver down my spine. "Until the cameras turn off." I knew it!
***
People come and go from our courtyard. Each person speaking with the boys around. I've realized in my short time that this group spends more time with each other than looking for their soulmates. Either their timers have a bucket load of time... or their timers have stopped. Why else wouldn't they be searching? Don't they want the love?
I mean, they could be each other's soulmates. But from the looks of it the only two with any bit of chemistry is Clay and George. There is no way in hell I can picture Nick being with any guy. But he could surprise me.
"Bitch, can I talk to you?" Clay says and it catches me off guard. George slaps him at his choice of name but what else is he supposed to call me? My number? That's too much effort.
"Yeah dickwad." I stand up and walk off with Clay. I look over my shoulder watching his friends study us.
"I shouldn't have been so harsh." He apologizes in his own work around. I can tell he isn't one who likes giving apologies. He looks like a man who doesn't ever give them. You will never hear an 'I'm sorry'. Ever.
"I can take the bullshit. Don't give me a sorry excuse for an apology because your boyfriend over there is making you. I may be new but I'm not going to be shy. They tell you in the stupid videos to be blunt and bold and you'll find your way. So that I will be." I cross my arms against my chest.
"Nick really knows how to pick them." Clay runs his fingers through his hair. I can tell he's frustrated by my attitude. I assume he isn't one who normally gets defied. Always gets his way no matter what.
"Would you like me to be less—" I pause trying to find the right word. He speaks before I can.
"Rude. Blunt. Outspoken. Bitchy." Clay rattles off a bunch of words I assume he's trying to think of to pinpoint a name he'd like to call me. He seems like the one to go out of his way and name his friends because he thinks they're all dimwits too stupid to figure it out for themselves. "Yes please."
"Your name should be Egotistical instead of Dream." I roll my eyes as I try to walk away but his fingers wrap around my skin. The real skin to skin touch. I feel a burn from his touch and pull my arm away from him. Don't touch me you filthy pig.
"You just don't want to be nice do you?" Clay states and I swear if rule twenty-one wasn't never inflict physical harm on potential partners I'd whack him.
This is what being isolated from human contact for your entire life does. It sets you up for failure. This new system is flawed. I am flawed. But then again they all probably started off the same way. I wonder how long everyone I've met today has been out, ready for their soulmate.
"You started it. I only dish what's given." I challenge him with a glance but he doesn't continue on. He stays quiet just letting our situation settle. The silence though, it's eerie. I can't take it even though I've spent my entire life surrounded by nothing but silence.
"Clay," I start, grabbing his attention. He's been standing there staring at a blue and green friendship bracelet wrapped around his wrist. It matches the one laced along George's skin. I can only assume it's a part of a pact to never split. The two of them must be long lost lovers. "How long have you been out?"
"What's it matter to you?" Harsh. He's so fucking defensive. I'm genuinely just curious. I want to know what makes a man so cold. How long will it take until my heart turns to ice like his?
"Forget it. I'm just going to go back to my room." I take a step towards the courtyard to send off my goodbyes for the day.
"Rule number two: you can only return to your room when the sound alarms. Make the most of your time, it's all you have. Mingle with all." Clay states like a robot. Rules are completely ingrained into our brains like we're machines. Now I know why Nick's a rule breaker. This shit sucks.
"Fuck rule two. You suck." I close the distance between Nick and I and grab his shoulder. Something deep down inside of me wants to grab his skin instead. The burn I felt from the touch of Clay still lingers and I want more. I want to feel my body ignite again.
"Troublemaker," I smile at Nick, "let's go have some fun." I look at his friends. His eyes dart quickly up and down me as he locks his hand to mine.
"What kind of fun are we talking about?" Nick smirks as he leads me away. I look over my shoulder at Clay who is staring dumbfoundedly at the two of us. Don't fuck with me boy. I will break rules if you give me a rule breaker. Q led me straight to him. He had to be the one.
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hey hey, well lookie here. the long awaited dystopian series i've been talking about for like... 8 months. it's finally here. i will be posting daily. so it will be like split and start over. if you are new here and don't know either of those two books they're my other dream books. you will enjoy those if you haven't checked them out yet i promise. i miss that series. it will be back soon. just wanted to get this one out there first.
either way i hope you like this story. give it lots of love. it is definitely my favorite thing i've ever written. and the book cover hits me in all the right places.
let me know how you love this by leaving likes and comments.
much love, ashley <3