"Wait.. you live here?"
I look to Eleanor and see that she's actually surprised and amazed as she stares up at her new home.
Homes like this aren't that special, but to someone not from this world, it would seem quite extravagant and big. My home is built on a large rock surrounded by trees, from the distance it looks like it's hovering around the trees, it was built how I envisioned my home to be.
"The house was built and completed the first week I was first named Alpha. The wood that took to make it is from this very forest, every Alpha gets him home gifted to him as a 'gift' from the werewolf council." I tell her, building her up the wood stairs as I keep my hand in hers.
I watch her as she looks around once we get to the deck, she looks around amazed as she takes in the view from the edge of the deck. "Wow." She says quietly. "How old were you?" She asks and I look at her confused as I open the front door to the house then come to stand next to her.
"Eighteen."
She looks back at me surprised. "Wow, at eighteen I was still deciding what I wanted to do with my life." She says with a chuckle as she turns her gaze back to the view.
I smile at her and enjoy the comfortable silence that falls upon us.
She clears her throat and gets my attention when I look at her she's looking at me, or checking me out, I can never tell with Eleanor, I hope she's checking me out... "Ask me." I tell her, watching as her mouth twitches.
"How does someone become Alpha?"
I snort loudly. "I thought you would have more 'deeper' questions than that."
She hides her face from me with her hair and all I can think of is kissing her cute face.
I clear my throat and dismiss the urge to touch her. "My kind believe it's a gift given to you by our goddess, but in reality, it has more to do with your family background, strong families produce strong heirs." I say with a shrug.
By the look of her face, she has more questions than before, and I know she's wanting to ask about my parents, my family, but before she does open her mouth to ask the question she's dying to ask, I intertwine my hand with hers and shrug her along with me as I head inside the house.
"Let's eat something then I will answer all those questions swirling around in that adorable head of yours." I say down to her as I close the door behind her then head towards the kitchen.
Eleanor follow me timidly whilst looking around, the first room is the lounge and dining area, I kept it very modern without much clutter, since I'm rarely in any of these rooms but the bedroom and bathroom, I didn't see a need to make it more welcoming, nobody but me comes here.
Until now, perhaps she would like to decorate? I hear girls love that.
"Your house is beautiful." She whispers softly as I turn as see she's admiring a painting that was gifted to me a few years ago, from Bella.
I totally forgot about that, I need to remind myself to have someone remove it, for now, I want to keep the atmosphere around us light, I need to tell her everything properly, with caution, she is still human, and human's have heightened emotions and I don't want to upset her.
"Thank you." I smile at her, noticing she's sat on a barstool next to my kitchen bench. "Are you allergic to anything else?" I ask before I prepare food.
She shakes her head. "Just strawberries and nuts." She points out. "You're cooking?"
I nod and begin to make us some sandwiches, with meat from this world, but I know from trying that it's very similar to the humans 'ham' so I know Eleanor will like it, as long as she's not a vegetarian.
Having Eleanor so close to me, watching me as I cook, it makes me so fucking happy and self-conscious at the same time, her scent was already hard to control myself and now I'm questioning every single thing I do or say around her, wondering if there's more I could do or say to make her accept me and the bond, and make her more happy here with me.
That's all I want, I know I'm not the perfect guy, and she does deserve someone better then me, but fuck- I will try, I will for as long as I breathe to be worthy of her, even if it's just a glance she will give me, I'll happily fucking take it.
Finishing the sandwich, I carry the plates into the lounge area and nod for Eleanor to follow me, once inside I place the food on the table and get comfortable on the sofa and watch as Eleanor sits beside me, not on the other two seats.
Well, that's something.
"Oh my god, this tastes amazing." She moans as she takes a bite of her sandwich.
I still at the sound and hold back a groan as I bite into mine. "It's virzeth gavat."
She looks at me with a look and I grin, completely forgetting she doesn't know our language. "It's like red meat, we use it for sandwiches or appetizers," I say and she nods slowly, whilst taking another bite with a small moan.
Fuck, just like that, my cock gets fucking hard.
"You need to stop." I growl out lowly as I try and calm my need for her, but it's incredibly hard when my wolf only wants to mate with her every time we sniff her, making it impossible to control myself when I'm around her.
"Sorry." She sheepishly says, noticing my rising bulge, she keeps her eyes off me with red cheeks.
I can't help but grin and laugh out at how beautiful she is with color on her face, it makes me want to tease her for the rest of our lives, if she looks like this from a simple blush, I am utterly fucked when it comes to this girl, I already feel like a fucking puppy around her.
I finished my sandwich first so I get up and bring in some ice tea for both of us and when I come back to her, I notice she's finished too, the girl has an appetite considering the sandwich I made was large enough to feed a grown wolf for a few hours.
Once I'm beside her again I see her shift towards me as I take a drink.
"The key." She quietly says, noticing her staring at my hands as I put the drink down. "What is it for?"
Well, here it goes, no backing out now, she has a right to know. "Alpifilas."
I lean back and move a little closer to her as I keep my eyes on her, a frown escapes me as I hold back a sigh. "It's a box your family- the Carmines has sworn to protect for centuries, the fate of our people depend on it." I take a pause. "Every 24 years the box this key opens goes through a ceremony to keep inside sealed, something that has been sealed for thousands of years, your family- the royal house of Carmine sealed the box centuries ago and have since protected Sovern from the box ever opening."
Eleanor frowns then leans forward. "What's in this.. box?"
What indeed...
I lean forward with her and bring her hand to my lips and place a kiss onto her knuckles, all while keeping my eyes on her. "Death."
I bring her hand to my lap and hold it in mine. "Once it was something our people worshipped thousands of years ago until our ancestors found out the truth, at the time the Alpha's daughter had witnessed the entity feeding of one of her younger sisters until she turned to dust before her. Things only got worse after that, many died within the pack, making whatever this entity was, stronger, so the pack did what they could to conceal it, a neighboring realm to Sovern helped craft a magic seal- the key, to hold Alpifilas inside."
I smile at her when she begins to tense. "What is it.. this Alph...ifi..las."
"Some say Alpifilas was a man, others say a changeling capable of shifting into one's deepest fears."
She doesn't say anything, her eyes are staring off into the distance and I know it was a lot to take in, especially this soon, she's only been in Sovern two weeks and so far I have had nothing but bad shit to tell her.
After today, I don't want to do this ever again, I already know I can't stand the silence around Eleanor, before my mate I bathed in silence... but now, it makes me feel... pained, knowing that my mate is feeling things I can't protect her from.
I feel everything, and it pisses me off that I can't help rid her of her fears and worries.
"What was the other thing.." She whispers out quietly making me snap my head to her in confusion.
When she sees my confusion she smiles weakly at me. "You said you had more to tell me.. is it.. to do with the key?" She asks frowning, already prepared for bad news.
I hate this.
I hate that I'm causing her this much pain, nor can I control the outcome of how she will feel about me when she finds out I almost married another woman.
"No." I say with a sigh. "It's about me, and my past relationships."
Her brows squish together in confusion. "What?"
Rip the bandaid off Orson, let it be over with. "I was almost married." I rush out. "But it was political purposes only, her family is powerful within Sovern and I needed access to their port for trading, if I married his daughter I would gain instant access to what my pack needed to survive, I called it off the moment I found another way around it." I tell her instantly, holding her eyes with mine as I steady my racing heart.
She nods her head slowly as she wraps her head around what I told her. "Okay." She says casually making me frown.
Did she not understand? "Okay?"
She shrugs with a small smile on her lips, and it makes me relax instantly. She's taking this better than I had expected, most female wolves would've gauged my eyes out by now or tried to at least.
"Look, as long as you don't have a wife with kids somewhere, this stuff is normal in my world, people get married.. some almost do, it's fine, I won't hold it against you." She says softly, smiling up at me. "We are both matured adults, you fall in love and get married, sometimes it doesn't work." She says with a smile but I notice the look in her eye.
Pain.
"Eleanor, I didn't lo-"
She holds her hand up. "It's fine, past is the past right?" She smiles weakly avoiding my eyes.
"I wish that were true." I mutter roughly out, gaining a confused look from her. "Bella... the she-wolf I almost married, she will arrive next week to talk about our agreement on new import legislations."
Eleanor stands up suddenly and I raise with her. "It's fine, I'm technically not your mate yet.. so you can do whatever you want." She quickly says before looking up the stairs. "Can I please use the bathroom?" She asks sweetly, smiling at me.
I'm... speechless.
A sudden rush of anger fills me and I can't fucking believe she still thinks I have some feeling for Bella, and the way she lowers herself like that makes me beyond furious, to think she is below anyone else to me is absurd.
"Eleanor." I grit out, grinding my teeth. "I will only say this once, so listen closely, I'm not a man who will repeat myself so listen well!" I walk up to her and pull her against my chest.
I raise her head with my hand lifting her jaw so her eyes meet mine. "There is only one woman I could love, and that's you. It's you or no one at all, I have not laid with a woman since I first laid my eyes on you, for me there will never be another, it's you, only you."
I close my eyes and walk away from her and head towards the stairs towards the bathroom which is opposite the room I made up for Eleanor, but had yet to show her, I'm so angry right now that I can't be around her.
I don't want to scare her like last time.
I smell Eleanor and I hear her walk up the stairs slowly, I hold the bathroom door open as she comes towards me, keeping her eyes to the ground until she enters the bathroom, then she looks at me with tears in her eyes as she closes the behind her, leaving me standing there no longer angry at her but... confused, and pissed off at myself, knowing that I have yet again upset her.
I just told her I loved her and now she's crying because of me.
Pushing down all the thoughts and fears I feel right now from seeing her face, I stand and wait outside the bathroom door. Even if I feel like I just got my heart stomped on, I won't give up.
I'll always wait, and I'll do anything to see her smile again, even if I am a piece of shit.