-Randall-
Cole was so excited about the date. He refused to give me any details about what he was planning, and boy, he was planning something, all right. He spent a lot of time behind his laptop, smirking like a schoolboy and peering at me with a happy smile on his face. He wanted it to be a surprise, and I let him keep his secrets. I trusted him.
I was looking forward to it, too. Our first real date. My first real date. Not a fake one with a girl I didn't love.
I spent a lot of time sitting on the couch during those few days, just talking with myself. Learning to know myself. The fact that I now had a boyfriend was not really sinking in. Boyfriend. A man. I'd thought that idea would drive me crazy, and my father would gain control over me again, but it did not. No one was screaming squealy pig in my head.
The silence still scared me. I feared that if I let my guard down even for a moment, I would freak out. I wasn't sure if I'd ever be able to stop being scared of that. Maybe it was a good thing I was wary of it. It could still happen. I could still crash. Vaughn had warned us about that. He'd told me to be aware of these things.
Boyfriend. I had a boyfriend. A man who kept glancing at me over his laptop to make sure I wasn't trying to find out what he was planning. When our eyes met, a boyish grin appeared on his lips. I smiled at the sight of it. I liked seeing him so excited. He'd been scared because of me, so I was happy to see him like that. Also because of me.
And then it was Sunday evening. The day of our date. Cole had told me to put on something nice, but casual. He'd let me know we had a reservation at a restaurant just to make sure I was prepared to go out in public, but he refused to tell me the name of it.
"You look so hot," he told me when I stepped out of my room, wearing a simple black suit and a blue shirt under it. I hadn't worn the suit in ages, so it was a little too big for me, but I hadn't lost too much muscle mass yet – thankfully.
I stopped to take in his towering frame in his navy-blue suit and black shirt. "We're wearing opposite colors," I noted. "You look hot too."
"Thanks," he smiled.
I stopped in front of him to adjust his tie. His smile grew warmer when I did that. I had his hands on my sides in no time, and he inched closer to me. I looked up. I wasn't a small guy, but next to him, I always felt like I was.
I lifted my chin up, and that was all I needed to do to get his lips on mine. The kiss was sweet, but a little too short.
"Are we ready to go?" he asked me.
I pecked his lips before I nodded.
There was a taxi waiting for us when we stepped out of the building. Cole held the door for me, and I climbed in. He joined me on the backseat, and the car started moving without Cole telling the driver where to go. I suspected he had already given the man instructions to keep me out of the loop.
"So secretive," I mumbled.
He smirked again, gently patting my knee.
It took me a while to get even an idea of where we were heading. The sea. We were heading toward the sea. There were plenty of restaurants by the beach to choose from, so I still had no clue what to expect. I did know they all were nice restaurants, but that's about it.
When the car stopped, I still had no clue what to expect. Cole paid the man, we got out of the car, and I stopped to take a look at the beach boulevard in front of us. There were quite a lot of people too, but that didn't bother me too much. Cole was there, so I was fine.
"So...?" I turned to look at him.
"This way," he smiled, gesturing for me to follow him.
It turned out we still had a bit of walking ahead of us, but it was a really nice evening, and the weather was perfect. A little windy, but warm. The dark sky and the black sea gave a nice atmosphere on our first date.
"Coming here was a good choice," I told Cole. "It's nice."
"I was hoping you'd like it," he said gently.
"I really do," I said, taking in the salty air as I stopped to take a better look at the water.
The hundreds of lights coming from the restaurants and streetlamps glimmered on the surface as the tiny waves kept touching the shore. There were people sitting around several bonfires on the sand, chatting and having fun. Everything was so peaceful.
"I really like it," I turned to tell Cole before I continued walking.
He followed me, staying so close to me our hands touched every now and then. I wished I had the guts to take his hand in mine. I wasn't ready for that just yet. Not out in public. But it was enough that I could feel him right next to me. No one gave us weird looks, but I did see several women turning to look after us. Cole was indeed hot, and I guess I wasn't too bad to look at, either, but the attention was making me uncomfortable enough to want to avoid showing we were gay.
I had time. Now I just wanted to enjoy the night out. My first real date.
We were way past the midpoint of the boulevard when Cole slowed down and stopped in front of a really nice restaurant. He gave me a questioning smile, asking if he'd make the right choice without using his words. I nodded. It was a really nice restaurant, indeed.
The building was big, full of dark windows and covered in soft lights. I saw a lot of people in their fine clothes sitting inside, and the scent of food coming from the place was divine. There was a man in a suit greeting us by the door, and a pretty lady standing behind a small desk inside.
"We have a reservation. Cole Smith," he told the woman.
After she found our table, she told us to follow her. She smiled and chatted the entire time through the big restaurant, finally stopping next to a round table by the windows facing the sea. We sat down, and she gave us the menus. Cole ordered a few bottles of very nice and expensive beer before she left, leaving us to decide what we wanted to eat.
"This is... Quite expensive," I muttered as I eyed the text.
"Don't worry about it. You may not know this, but I own a very successful nightclub in the city," Cole said, playing around again. "I'm a wealthy man."
"Oh, I didn't know that," I said, playing along.
I did have to make sure there was no one close enough to hear our words. There was plenty of space between the tables, and big flowers and decorative walls to give us a little bit of privacy. I had the feeling that was one of the reasons why Cole chose this restaurant in particular. Having this little corner all to ourselves gave me comfort. I didn't want to spend the entire evening watching what I did or said, so this was really nice.
"So, mister big shot of the town, what else have you planned for the night?" I asked casually, but he only smiled at me.
"Have you decided what you want to order?" he asked instead.
I shook my head in amusement but didn't reply to him. I forgot to do so when he smiled at me like that. He looked so good in a suit, his hair a casual mess. This was my boyfriend. This man had stayed by my side and took care of me, even though I'd been a raging mess. I was alive because of him. I was living because of him.
He was making me happy.
"Hello," he chuckled after he noticed me staring.
"Hi," I breathed out, feeling warm and bubbly inside, as they say. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"For everything," I said quietly. "Absolutely everything."
His smile grew, and he peered around before placing his hand on mine on the table.
"You deserve everything, and more," he murmured. "I just want to make you happy."
"You are making me happy," I told him. "I hope you know that."
"You're making me happy," he said.
"A mess like me?"
"You're not a mess," he said sternly. "You are an amazing guy. Hot, smart, curious, kind, playful and dramatic. Sweet. Caring. And hot. Did I mention hot?"
"You did," I said with a smile. His words really made me feel good, even though part of me wanted to object.
"And you are beautiful. Your soul is truly beautiful, just like I said months ago," he said, his voice gentle. "I could see that when I first saw you."
I had no words anymore. How could he see anything in me in the beginning was beyond me. I was a walking corpse back then. An empty shell.
"You were my safe place," I admitted quietly, turning to look at the menu. "I knew... from the very beginning... I was safe with you," I muttered, then looked up at him carefully.
"And I will keep you safe forever. I will make sure no one can lay a finger on you," he promised again.
"I know," I muttered.
He nodded and watched me until I remembered where we were, and cleared my throat.
"So... What's good?" I mumbled, looking down at the menu again.
"I feel like having a good steak," Cole said, eyeing his menu as well.
"Same," I said, peering at him once more.
The food was great. I wouldn't have really cared if it had sucked, though. Cole kept cracking silly jokes the entire time, and I honestly had never laughed so much. I really had a great time with him, and even if we had headed back home after finishing our dinner, this would still have been the greatest first date.
But it didn't end there.
"So, do you want to know why I chose this place?" Cole spoke after the waitress had cleared our table and brought us both a glass of good scotch.
"Yes," I said, but he didn't reply to me. Instead, he checked his watch.
"Any minute now," he mumbled, then looked out the window.
I did so as well. There were a lot more people outside on the beach. I hadn't paid much attention to the gathering crowd during our dinner, but now I realized they all were waiting for something. I peered back at Cole.
"What's going on?" I asked slowly.
"Don't worry – our reservation isn't going to end anytime soon, so we can stay here until everyone leaves," Cole told me quietly.
I squinted my eyes at him. Clearly, something was about to happen by the beach. I didn't like the crowd, but as long as we had this quiet table, and all those people stayed outside, I didn't mind.
Then something caught my attention in the corner of my eye. I looked outside and saw a firework blowing up in the distance, above the water.
"Fireworks," I spoke, looking back at Cole.
"I wanted you to see the show," he said quietly.
"So you got a reservation here," I muttered, looking back out again. He chose this restaurant so I could see the show without being in the crowd. I stared at the sky and the colorful sparkles for a moment, feeling... Feeling a lot. "This is why I trust you," I murmured.
He moved his seat closer to me, so he could watch the show too. We sat there in silence, sipping our drinks. I was at peace. I'd never felt so peaceful outside Cole's apartment. There had to be hundreds of people standing outside, but what did I care? Cole was right next to me. I trusted him completely. I was safe with him.
"I think you're getting laid tonight," I murmured, making him cough into his drink.
I tried to hide my smile when he turned to look at me with wide eyes. Poor man looked shocked. I gave him a reassuring smile, then placed my hand on his knee, and after a short moment, I leaned in to kiss him. It wasn't that scary, after all. I felt good kissing him.
Because I had no reason to hide any longer.