The minute the doorbell rang, Eren slammed open his bedroom door, ran down 17 steps, fell down 5, struggled to get up, slipped on a carpet, and face planted into the door.
Jean was standing outside crossing his arms.
"Dammit, I fell down the stairs for you," Eren uttered.
"Happy birthday, loser," Jean walked in.
"Pst, is Armin here?" Marco peered from outside the door.
"I heard my name," Armin walked to the door.
"I need your help with something," Marco gestured for Armin to come outside. "Okay," he whispered, "so I kinda sorta maybe have forgotten it was Eren's birthday party today and I need to wrap the present so can you help me?" He asked.
Armin smiled. "Yeah, sure thing! What did you get him?"
"I got him a titan stress doll," Marco showed Armin the stress doll. "I got it from a friend who goes to Titan high. I'm pretty sure he will enjoy it," Marco smiled.
"Good call," Armin nodded.
"It came with this present box," Marco held up a tiny box that was obviously too small for the stress doll.
"There is no way we can fit the doll into the box," Armin sighed. "But I'll help you anyway."
He peeked inside. Eren was busy in the kitchen. "Follow me," Armin slowly walked into the house. He led Marco to a closet that was big enough for the both of them to sit down in. Armin pointed at the wrapping paper, ribbon, scissors, and tape on the top shelf and Marco got it down for him.
"Now we have to keep very quiet," Armin whispered.
Marco nodded.
✎✐
Eren whistled as he carried some decorations to the front. As he passed the closet, he heard grunting noises from it.
"Just put it in!" He heard a hushed whisper that sounded like Armin's voice.
"I'm trying!" Marco responded.
Eren, being a growing, hormonal, pubescent, and perverted teenage boy, instantly took it the dirty way.
"Why is it so big?" Armin asked.
"Why is the opening so small?" Marco asked.
"Do you think I can help it if the opening is this small?" Armin snapped back. "Just push!"
Thy both grunted again. Eren stepped closer to the door.
"It's fitting!" Armin said victoriously. They were both panting.
"Yeah-"
"Sh!" Armin shushed Marco. "We don't want anyone finding out what we are doing in here."
"I have a question, Armin," Marco said. "Does this look big enough for my package?"
Eren tried to hold in his shock.
"It's the perfect size," Armin stated. "Any smaller and we might have to worry about holes."
"That's not a good thing," Marco laughed.
"Not at all," Armin laughed with him. "Now it's time for this!"
"Why would we need string?" Marco asked.
"To spice things up a bit," Armin answered. "I hate a package without presentation."
"Are you serious?"
"Dead serious," Armin said. "Now keep still."
Eren felt as if he shouldn't be listening to this conversation. However, it intrigued him.
"How do you-" Marco began to ask.
"Over, in, out," Armin stated.
"Oh," Marco said. "Woah! It popped."
"You have to go down on it like you never have before!" Armin stated. "Harder! Stronger! Come on, I can still see some skin."
"Okay hand me the thing," Marco commanded. "Ew, it's so sticky."
"Just do it!" Armin said.
They both groaned for a while, but it settled down.
"Um, Armin?" Marco asked. "I'm stuck."
"What?" Armin shouted in shock. "How is that even possible?"
"I don't know!"
"That's it," Eren heard the snipping of scissors. "I'm cutting it off!"
Eren burst open the closet door. "NO, WHY WOULD YOU CUT HIS DICK OFF?"
Armin and Marco stared at Eren who realized that Armin was about to cut the string that was entangled around Marco's finger.
"Happy birthday...?" Armin and Marco said together in an unsure tone.
"I... I need to lie down," Eren said before walking off.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AN:
Happy birthday to the angry, growing, hormonal, pubescent, and perverted teenage boy!