A/N- This oneshot isn't going to have Y/N in it just as an example to see if I like writing oneshots like that. Also just because it makes more sense without you in it. Sorry.
Inspired by wangxian's oneshot 'Twin Jades.'
(also whoever did that fanart did an awesome job, it's so beautiful!)
EVER SINCE his mother had died, Lan Zhan had been a very emotional man. He had been prone to panic attacks when he was younger, and now they had come back with a vengeance. His older brother Xichen would always comfort him when one happened, but today, he wasn't there.
As Lan Zhan shook, gasped for breath, and sobbed, he rushed out into the cold and snowy night, running to the room where his uncle held audience with the other members of the Lan clan. If Xichen wasn't in his bedroom, he was undoubtedly going to be there having an audience with Lan Quiren.
When he ran into the audience room dripping wet from melting snow, barefoot with only his inner robes on, and shaking like a leaf, Xichen immediately knew what was wrong. He ran to his younger brother's side and embraced him, ignoring the coldness of his body due to the snow.
"Gege!" Lan Zhan wailed, clawing at his brother's back. "Gege!"
Lan Quiren scoffed and put his teacup down, getting up just so he could lecture his nephew more effectively.
"Lan Wangji, what in the world do you think you are doing? You cry like a woman! A man is not supposed to be this weak! Stop your sniveling this instant, or I'll beat you and give you a real reason to cry!"
"S-shufu... W-Wangji is s-so-sorry... W-Wangji is c-cowardly, he knows-"
"Hush, A-Zhan," Xichen said, in a voice so quiet and gentle that Lan Zhan obeyed without question.
Xichen had enough of his useless uncle insulting his younger brother. He walked up and smacked Shufu Lan right across the face, and yelled, "You're useless, and you're a poor judge of character! My brother is the strongest man I know, and just because a strong man cries once in a while doesn't mean they aren't strong! You must be punished to learn your manners, it seems. Go kneel outside in the rock garden for an hour- no, two hours- and meditate upon how terrible of a person you are. That's an order!"
Lan Quiren's cheeks blushed red with embarrassment, and his dark eyes blazed with hatred, but he did as his nephew ordered, going outside and kneeling down on the cold ground, shivering as the snow fell around him. He could see the silhouettes of Lan Xichen and Lan Zhan walking back to their rooms, and he felt jealousy come to him. Unlike he did usually, though, he didn't reject it. Jealousy warmed him, and he needed warmth.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Wangji. Why were you having a panic attack? What triggered it?"
Xichen's patient voice broke through the thick fog of Lan Zhan's current disassociative state- he had been disassociating ever since his older brother had yelled at Shufu in the audience room. But now, his eyes were opened, and his mind was clear.
"I had a nightmare... a-about Mama... s-sh-she left a-and I... and I-"
"Hush. That's all I need to know. You had a nightmare about Mama, huh? And you woke up and panicked because you realized she was gone?"
"N-no... b-because of y-you..." Lan Zhan responded.
"Why?" Xichen asked, feeling hurt that his brother's panic attack had happened because of him. "How have I hurt you?"
"N-no.. n-not hurt... y-you l-left me and I was s-scared..." Lan Zhan told him.
"Oh, my precious didi. I would never leave you on purpose. Never. Uncle Quiren and I just had to have a meeting. I didn't mean to worry you. Please, forgive me," Xichen said, getting down on his knees and bowing low, begging for his younger brother's valuable forgiveness.
Lan Zhan winced when he heard his uncle's name, but smiled when Xichen said that he didn't mean to worry him. He had suspected all along that his brother didn't intend to hurt him, that he never intended to injure him or hurt him in any way, but that sometimes he just had responsibilities. He was glad, oh, so glad, to know that he was right.
He buried his head in Xichen's chest, and Xichen immediately began stroking his hair, petting his younger brother as he would a baby bunny he was holding in his hands.
"Don't leave me again, gege," Lan Zhan said. "Please..."
"I won't," Xichen said. "I promise."
And from then on, he never broke that promise.