After 30 minutes passing. Hisoka finally went upstairs in search of you. Expecting to find you in Maleeka's room or yours, it took Hisoka by surprise to see you freshly laid underneath his blanket.
'That's right.. We are, 'together' now." Hisoka thought as he walked closer to the room.
After taking a mini detour to the bathroom, Hisoka sat on the edge of his side of the bed. Taking off his shoes, and just like he always did out of habit since he was young, he slipped off his shirt and effortlessly tossed it to the end of the bed.
"You want to talk about it?" He lowly asked as he took off his watch and earrings and placed it on his bedside table. These actions and words genuinely made this atmospheric vibe feel like a mature couple that has been married for years and currently hit a rough patch where the other spouse needs comfort. It felt oddly...Nice and meant to be.
Having you in his bed for the first time again after years definitely evoked nostalgia and contentment within Hisoka.
No more imagining you were next to him.
"I don't want to help him anymore." He heard you mumble.
Slipping underneath the covers, but still sitting up -leaning against the headboard, "Why not?" He asked.
"..."
".. He's married to Sakura."
Remembering the issues you went through with her in high school, he could understand the change of heart.
Lightly tugging your shoulder back, Hisoka made you turn around so he could get you to lay on his chest. Comfortably, you draped your left leg over his, high up his thigh. Enjoying how calming his strokes on your hair felt. The level of comfort and maturity the two of you seemed to have was indescribable. In the past, there wouldn't be a day that would go by where you and him wouldn't have had sex. But now. A whole day almost passed. The entire day you and him were alone, which created the perfect opportunity to have sex. But nothing. Even now, laying in his bed, instead of doing it. You laid peacefully in his arms as you unpacked your burdens onto him. And Hisoka was genuinely listening.
Life definitely matured the both of you. Heavily aged. Far beyond the ages of 25 and 28. Maturity was bound to kick in at some point.
Everything needed to happen, the good and the bad, just so you and Hisoka could reach this level of mental and emotional connection. To have an intellectual conversation. To be able to unwind and distress together in other ways other than sex.
"I'm I a bad person for this?" You asked.
Closing his eyes, taking in your fruity scent that smelt so insanely edible. "No." He answered lowly.
"Sakura did try to ruin your life. Strip away your freedom by threatening to send evidence of your mothers death. Stripped away your time with Itachi. Tried to ruin your education by having you lose your scholarship. You are angered and defensive because you don't know if she has an ulterior motive again."
Hisoka took the words straight out of your mouth. Damn, it really helped to have someone who just knew exactly what you were feeling and failed to put into words.
Peering up at him with glistering eyes through the darken room only lit by the bedside lamp. "Exactly..."
Now gently cupping your jawline, Hisoka gingerly caressed your cheek with his thumb as he held your gaze.
"But you do know, you don't have to worry about anything like that occurring again. She won't do anything to you because everyone knows you under my care." Hisoka stated with influencial power lacing his words.
Lightly smiling, "Under your care?" You said bemused.
"Yes."
"So whether you decide to give Sasuke your attention or not. Relax on the worry side of Sakura because I won't let anything happen to you or Maleeka. And I'm not going to handle things like Itachi did. I'll kill her straight." Hisoka casually said. Depicting how murder meant absolutely nothing to him.
And Hisoka had to reassure you. Because he knew you better than anyone. After the anger and worry subsides. You will want to tend to Sasuke. Especially because he was apart of whatever traces of Itachi left behind. And your good nature, plus the doctor in you, wouldn't let your conscious be okay leaving an ill patient to deteriorate.
"Mm, playing saviour and knight in shining armour mister?" You humoured sarcastically. But much appreciative.
Hisoka huffed lightly, "I know you don't need me to fight your battles. I just don't want you too anymore." He explained. Turning your heart into a pool of sweet goo by witnessing his soft side again.
Tightening your arm around his torso, you elevated your head off his chest to kiss him. "Thank you Hisoka..." You whispered against his lips.
Falling into greater comfort and tranquility on Hisoka's chest, the long waited thief finally stole your consciousness away. Who would of thought you just needed to be apart from Hisoka for a bit and grow deathly ill to get this secure affection and loyalty you craved for since high school.
After a good few hours passing, the summer heat eventually got you up around 3 am.
Sliding off Hisoka's ripped chest, you looked back at him as you cautiously attempted to get off the bed without waking him. For everything else besides his ringing phone, Hisoka was an unbelievably light sleeper. Guess having a dangerous career makes you constantly alert.
Making it scott free, you pulled down your silk shorts and adjusted your silk strap comfortably over your shoulder.
You checked up on Maleeka before leaving the third floor completely. Desperately in need for water.
On the way down, from the stairs, you could see a figure sitting outside the fence from the driveway. It was obvious the person wasn't the same as the guards outside.
"What?" You murmured with a frown.
Taking the thin couch blanket to drape over your shoulders to cover up your rather revealing night attire. You opened the front door and walked down the driveway barefoot.
"Ms S/n. Good morning." The guards greeted. Bowing partially.
"Morning. And again please no bowing. There's no need. We are equals. What's going on here?" You questioned. Eyeing the sitting figure.
"He refused to leave. He wasn't provoking anyone, so we just left him." The one guard answered.
Seeing the figure stand up, your frown instantly deepened when you saw who it was.
"What do you want Sasuke? I said I'm not going to help you." You snapped.
"I know. I just want to know why. At the mention of Sakura's name your attitude changed. Is there something I'm missing?" He asked.
Glaring at the black haired man, you could decipher that Sasuke genuinely did not know anything about the past.
"How long you have been waiting out here?" You curtly asked.
"About 5 hours or so." He answered.
Although your face was indifferent, your were surprised that Sasuke would wait out here for you for so long. If you turned him away now, then that would truly make you a bad person.
If you were going to deny Sasuke of treatment, the least you could do was tell him why you refused.
"Let him in.." You quietly instructed the guards as you walked back up the long driveway.
In the kitchen, you got yourself a bottle of water from the fridge and brewed a strong cup of coffee for Sauske out of curtsy for staying up almost the whole night.
Wanting to be engulfed by the warm night air, you opened the kitchen sliding door to sit on the pool side chairs. Staring at the different coloured lights that slowly flickered within the pool. Feeling rather sombre about this situation.
Sitting on the other chair next to you, from the corner of his eye, he gazed at your choker. Or as some call it, a short necklace.
"Possessive isn't he?" Sasuke initiated conversation.
Following his eye trail, you understood. Fiddling with the necklace, you ghostly smiled.
"Very much so. Hisoka gave this to me seven years ago. Told me to never take it off. And I never did despite being apart from him for so long." You distantly answered.
"Apart? What happened?"
Sighing, you took a sip of water before laying deeply back against the chair. "What happened? So much has much happened.." You bitterly stated.
Thinking to yourself, you concluded that you had to begin from the start so Sasuke could understand why Sakura triggered you. Had she left you alone. Everything between you and Hisoka would of never happened. The pain. The fighting. Falling in love with him. The baby. None of that would of happened. But because of Sakura, threatening you to stay away from Itachi, forced you into the arms of the devil.
And so you started to tell your story.
Being forced to stay away from your best friend because Sakura had incriminating evidence that could of end both Itachi's and your life. You confessed to your mother's murder to Sauske. You told Sasuke how desperately she wanted to be with Itachi and, or, just ruin your life for fun. Petty, but serious high school drama.
You mentioned that while Itachi dealt with the situation, Hisoka offered his home to you. And that's how the story of Hisoka and you developed.
Hearing the parts involving Sakura, Sasuke could understand your wariness to help him and your anger. He too was quite upset with Sakura, however he did not let it show. When he returns back to her eventually, Sasuke will deal with her personally. Knowing your doubts to associate yourself with him, Sasuke even doubted Sakura's intentions with him.
Internally sighing, the onyxed haired man kept his personal thoughts and affairs to himself. Rather, he decided to shift the spotlight back onto you. Feeling far too annoyed to be associated with a woman that almost ruined his brother's life. And possibly cut his lifespan shorter because it wasn't like Itachi could freely talk to you anymore about his progressing illness. He was too busy trying to silence Sakura.
What ticked Sasuke off more, was the fact Sakura kept such matters away from him. The past is the past in deed. But some past issues are too important to not talk about.
"Sakura is to blame for everything without a doubt. But out of curiosity, wouldn't you be happy that the product of that mess is being with Hisoka and becoming a parent?" Sasuke analytically asked. Perfectly shifting the limelight off Sakura.
Releasing a heavy sigh, you closed your eyes in a pensive manner.
"Only now being with Hisoka and parenting together is blissful. In the past...It was ugly. Hisoka was actually good to me in high school. After all, he did open his home up to me. He even cared enough to detox me, got me to stop abusing prescription medication. But with Hisoka, came a lot of pain and heartbreak..." You barely whispered out the last part.
Even though Sasuke didn't know you well, he could judge by the tone of your voice and aura that you still carried a lot of sadness within you. Especially at the mention of Hisoka.
"Why?" He asked, wanting to get to know his brother's best friend better.
"...Hisoka loved being with several women back then. It was common knowledge to everyone that Hisoka was a big time Casanova. Like a typical teenage fool. I was starting to fall for Hisoka at the time, so you can imagine how much it pained to know he slept around with so many women. Not only heard about it, I saw the women he would have sex with. When we were friends, it didn't bother me naturally so. But over time, it got to me. Hisoka had no resistance towards women. Especially the beautiful ones..Tall and seductive. Perfect body. Perfect hair. Strippers too married women. He had a taste of them all. But he eventually got to me..Finally had his chance with me.. And at that time, Hisoka was helping me detox. So I thought to myself, he wouldn't do this for any other girl. Things between us must be different. I j-just wanted to be different in his eyes. Be someone special to him... "
"And just when I thought I was, I was humbled very quickly by him. Reminded of his ways, I recall walking down the stairs with Itachi - ready to return back to his place after months of helping Hisoka walk again after being paralysed. And just the night before, Hisoka and I shared the purest of nights, unintentionally conceiving Maleeka..." You unashamedly confessed. The two of you were adults after all. And talking to Sasuke felt familiar and comfortable. As if you were sitting next to Itachi and dumping your burdens onto him. And Sasuke was no fool to that. He could tell that you saw Itachi in him. Hence why he let you continue talking about your intimate past.
"I saw a stranger. A random blonde woman in the living room. On her knees for Hisoka. And the worst part was, he knew I was the there. We locked eyes as he was busy getting pleasured. But that did nothing. He made sure to remind me I was just another one of his toys. That I wasn't anyone special to him. That he wasn't ever going to stick to one woman just because he was sleeping with me and shared emotional moments." You continued to speak, unawarely clutching your knees. Talking about it again made you relive that moment you tried your best to shut out. And of course, ignoring pain doesn't heal it. So it still felt extremely fresh. But unlike back then, crying in Itachi's arms. You remained composed.
"I knew all of that. But it was just hard to not believe things were different. Especially because Hisoka made me feel special.. The things he would say. How he would treat me when it was just us alone. The things he would do. He truly made me feel like I was special.. Like I was the only woman he wanted and needed." You breathlessly stated as your heart began to beat faster and harder from the painful anger.
"After that, for a few months Hisoka and I didn't talk. I was back living with Itachi. I fell really ill. I thought it was because my heart was broken. I couldn't eat properly nor sleep. Just constantly crying and beating myself up for being a fool. But your brother..." You huffed amusingly with traces of sadness.
"Your brother was smart. No one knew Hisoka and I were sleeping together. I asked Hisoka to keep our relations a secret.. I never had the courage to tell Itachi either. But He knew. He knew I was pregnant. And he never said anything."
"It confused me back then, but Itachi told me 'Y/n I know. And don't worry about it because you will be good at it.' Little did I know, he meant I'll be good at motherhood. And because I was too caught up in my own sick world. It didn't process in my head that Itachi was talking as if he was going to die soon..."
And there it was. It wasn't the pain of Hisoka that could break you. It was Itachi's death that tore you down into tears. Oh, there was no one you could ever love more than your best friend. And not being there with him during his last breaths destroyed you.
"I don't know if Itachi spoke to Hisoka on the side because I was just such a mess. But eventually after another month or two, Hisoka came to me and requested that I return back to his place because he missed me. He used the word 'home'. I miss you so much. Please return back home to me." You perfectly recited Hisoka's exact words. Depicting how fresh everything was to you. It truly felt like it was just yesterday the two of you were teenagers.
"It wasn't an apology. He didn't ask for forgiveness for hurting me. It took only those words from him to make all the painful memories be forgotten. I caved and melted against his touch. Hisoka was and still is my weakness. My toxic weakness..."
"That night he publicly displayed affection to me was the same night I got shot in the neck by one of his enemies. That's what you and the entire world know about. Most believed I died. Especially because after that incident I was never seen again. But that was only because Hisoka banished me once I regained consciousness.." You weakly mumbled.
Definitely a bit caught off guard, Sasuke arched his eyebrow at you. Highly engrossed with this story.
"Banished you?" He repeated, needing you to continue talking.
"..Yeah. When he found out I was pregnant. He threatened to kill me and Maleeka if we ever came in his vision. He said I deceived him. Purposely got pregnant to trap him. After screaming at me, telling me to get out of his house. Our story ended there."
"I dropped out of high school. I was broke as hell. I barely managed to buy the medication for a healthy pregnancy. Yet alone for myself. A failing heart and liver. But I wasn't too bad at the time. So I didn't buy anything to help my heart and liver. Long story short. Yale approached me and said they still are offering me a spot to study medicine. All expenses paid. So obviously I took them up on that offer because I needed to be financially stable one day for Maleeka. So for six years, I raised her in my room at res." You ended off bittersweetly.
After hearing your story, Sasuke definitely developed a new found respect for you. Raising a child alone while sick in a single dorm room must of taken unbearable amounts of strength and mental power. He could understand why earlier Hisoka passed a comment to him about you being through enough as it is. Hence why he would kill him if he picked up his medical treatment put unnecessary stress on you. But hearing this story. It was rich of Hisoka to say that. The Joker was the one that put you through hell.
"You still kept that necklace on after all that. Why?" Was all Sasuke could ask. In his perspective, you should've ditched Hisoka for good. But here you were seven years later in his home again. Seeing rather intimate with each other.
Heavily sighing, you held the joker and queen cards attached together tightly around your neck. "Because I wasn't ready to let go of the man I love. I was angry and hurt by him yes. But unfortunately I suffer from having unconditional love.. And I kept telling myself if Hisoka didn't kill me when he had the chance too after finding out I was pregnant. It must of meant he did feel something small for me...That he did care. Even if it was just a bit. Because I recalled awhile ago, when we were still friends. He would always tell me how he doesn't ever want to get married, or get serious with a woman. And most definitely didn't ever want kids. And if ever one of the women came to him and told him she's carrying his child. He would mindlessly kill her because he doesn't want children. No attachments to him at all." You explained.
"So you thought because he spared you and the child, he must of cared. You felt special to him?" Sasuke effortlessly sympathised with you.
Pursing your lips hard, you nodded. Appreciating the fact that he could understand your train of thought without judgement.
"I know how it looks.. But it's hard. Especially because I'm someone that can only fall in love once. And although you never really see Maleeka properly yesterday. She has Hisoka's distinct features. The blazing red hair and the golden eyes. How do I even begin to move on from Hisoka when she reminds me of him everyday..Not only looks like him. She is genetically apart of him. I can't just..I couldn't just stop loving Hisoka.." You strenuously answered.
"Not only that. You are someone that holds onto the few good memories to try and erase the bad despite constantly being in pain from it." Again, Sasuke stated - reading you like an open book.
Looking down with shame, you bit the corner of your lip in embarrassment and defeat. Because it was true. Sasuke was right.
"What good memories are you holding onto?" The Uchiha asked.
"...The times we spent together alone in high school. Enjoying each other's company, laughing, fooling around, talking. How sweet he was towards me when I was going through withdrawals. The night he gave me this necklace at our senior dance. And just recently a few months ago, I found out Hisoka was the one that paid Yale to take me into medicine. Ensured I had enough money in the form of bursary allowance to look after Maleeka and myself.. When I lost my memories, he didn't take advantage of me. He stayed for hours on the bathroom floor as I was dying in his arms. He did everything in his power to save my life. And now...Well now, during my recovery he has been understanding. He has been patient. He has been there for me.." You said, almost as if you were convincing yourself. Justifying your pain and choices.
"All of that makes you feel special?" Sasuke skeptically stated as if he wasn't as satisfied with your answer unlike you were for some reason.
Averting your gaze at Sasuke, you partially frowned because you could hear his unimpressed undertone.
"Yes..I mean, Hisoka wouldn't do all this for any other woman." You defensively said.
"There isn't a shadow of doubt that he wouldn't. Hisoka does care about you. Anyone can see that. But that's not what I'm implying." Sasuke reacted.
After spending some time with you and hearing your story. Sasuke did subconsciously grow fond of you. Even more so because you were his brother's best friend. Someone whom requested him to look after you if Hisoka failed too.
But the protest that bubbled within Sasuke against Hisoka, came from Sasuke finding out Itachi loved you more than a friend in that letter he wrote to Sasuke. And from Sasuke's point of view, the man you loved over Itachi, romantic wise wasn't worth it. Hisoka crushed your heart more than once, yet you still clung onto him.
Almost as if the bastard knew no matter how much he hurts you, you won't ever stop loving him.
"Then what are you implying Sasuke?" You raised your voice a bit. Feeling rather exposed about your silliness over staying with Hisoka.
"The fact that you admitted you are holding onto the good memories created with Hisoka to blur out all the pain and ill treatment that came from him. Makes me wonder whether you are in love with the idea and memories of him. Furthermore, in love with the ideal picture of a family being whole with both parents. Not actually him."
"So which one is it Y/n? If you aren't actually in love with him, don't you think you deserve better and should walk away before it might turn serious? Hisoka hasn't and probably won't ever ask you to be his wife. You said it yourself. He isn't one to settle down and get attached. You bared his child yet he still hasn't asked you to marry him? You someone that wanted to be married and be with one guy forever. But you won't ever get that with Hisoka and you know that. Doesn't it hurt you every time you sleep with him, to know how many other women he has been inside? When you are with him, can't you feel the presences of all the soul traces each women has left apart of themselves with him behind?"
" Wouldn't walking away from him now without being legally bound to his surname and brutal power of winning custody over Maleeka be better?" Sasuke uncharacteristically hyped you up because he was riding the high wave of annoyance that you were with someone else other than his brother at the time.
The things Itachi said in that letter, it was so obvious that Itachi had nothing but pure love and intentions for you. Maybe if you are with a guy that treated you better, Sasuke wouldn't get so involved. But hearing about Hisoka's Casanova lifestyle and leaving you too raise a child alone while sick - money provided or not. Was disgusting. There was no excuse good enough for that.
Clenching his sharp jaw and balling his right hand into an angry fist. Hisoka, whom had come down awhile ago to search for you - checking to see if you were okay. Saw you and Sasuke sitting outside with backs facing the kitchen. He was silently and invisibly lingering. Perfectly masking his presence in the dark kitchen - eavesdropping on the entire conversation since you told Sasuke about his manwhore lifestyle in high school. So basically, he was there for almost the entire conversation from the start.
But that didn't get to him too much because he knew and accepted how he lived his life when he was in his early 20s. It was what Sasuke just said that disturbed the Joker. Disturbed him so much, that he couldn't bare listening to this conversation anymore. Apart of him was too afraid to hear your answer. Did Sasuke make you realise something? Was your answer to his brainwashing going to be 'You are right Sasuke. I should leave. I do deserve better. I don't truly love Hisoka.'
He just couldn't. Hisoka couldn't handle listening to this harsh conversation anymore. He knew he fucked up. Big time with you and his decisions. However, he was attempting to rectify those mistakes. For as long as it took. For as hard as it would be. He was willing too.
But would it be pointless now because you didn't want to stick around any longer. Because you potentially didn't actually love him like he thought you did?
Quietly, Hisoka returned back to the room. He wasn't prepared to hear your answer.