Starlette
It may of been incredible if my mind wasn't so occupied with every living creature out here. Take that spider for example. With it's large and hairy legs to its eyes, I definitely think it had it out for me by the way it looked at me.
"What do you think?" Harry asks as he looks over to me. I look back at the tree house and see it hang on a large tree with branches scattered around and the wood withering away slowly. "My dad and I made it when I was fourteen—it's been years since then but I always come here to just think," he explains as he gazes at his childhood memory.
I realise that I never knew anything about Harry's personal life. I was too busy involved in his business life and trying to ruin that. Looking into that, I could see the heartbreak within his cheutreuse green irises. "Harry, tell me about your dad," I say as I hold his arm. I didn't want to push him if he didn't want to talk but I was also very curious.
Grabbing my hand, he doesn't hesitate to pull me along to a ladder that leads into the place. "Go on, I'm right behind you," he ushers without answering my question. Focused on my promise, I don't push him any further. I grab the wooden ladder and climb until I land onto the floor of the tree house. "Get your fat ass out of my face," I hear him grumble as he pushes me up with his hand.
"Hey, last time I remember, you liked this fat ass," I snap as I stand up from the ground. I wipe away excess dirt and look around to see a large window with sunlight seeping in and furniture such as a couch facing the window and a few more things scattered around. Dust covers it and I sneeze a few times.
"Sorry about the mess, I haven't been here since your sorry ass came into my life," he chuckles as I glare at him. "What? You're a handful," he flinches as I slap him. "See?" He turns around and flops onto the couch with a thud and I see dust float into the air.
"You see this window? What can you see?" He asks as he stares into the woods. I take a seat beside him and stare outside with him. My eyes scan every detail as I take in the beauty of the emerald green trees with birds flying.
"I see...trees and birds. Why?" I ask.
"When I come here, it's sort of a TV for me. It's my entertainment where I just stare into the world and realise how little you are compared to everything and how you can't control everything. This specific window makes me realise so many things by just thinking outside of your own little world," he explains as his eyes stay glued onto it.
I stare at his side profile—from his sharp jawline and nose to his long and curled eyelashes, I realise how beautiful he really is. And for the first time, I don't see his looks or bad boy persona but him—who he really is. It was like my judgement and eyes were clouded with a white fog but with this tree house and the silence around me, I can finally think clearly for once.
"Wow, that's deep," I awkwardly say.
He glances at me with a small grin. "You really are bad at deep talks, aren't you?" He says and I roll my eyes.
"Hey, it's not my fault. I just never had deep talks with anyone before. Whenever I'm with Alex or my friends, we're either plotting against you or doing some bad shit," I snap as I lean against the couch and cross my arms across my chest.
"Wait, so you've never done anything like this before? Just sit down and talk about life?" He says with bewildered eyes and I nod with a frown. Abruptly, I feel him move closer to me and our eyes meet. The intensity within this moment leaves me rattled to the bone and the oxygen leaves my lungs within seconds. "Then I want all your firsts to be with me," he whispers as he gazes within my eyes and places his hand onto my thigh.
With raised eyebrows, my mouth falls agape. "What do you mean?" I ask with curiosity.
"I mean, the things you haven't done before, they're going to be with me from now on. I won't allow any other man to take these moments from us, okay?" He firmly states as he clenches his jaw tightly with flared nostrils.
"Harry, we aren't dating, you do know that? Everything we've been doing is bad for us—bad for our careers and family," I say with a sigh. Even though I dearly want to just give in and do all my firsts with him, what if it turns out to be a whole nightmare? Am I willing to give up my revenge and brother for Harry?
"But I don't care," he says abruptly. He gazes into my eyes with furrowed eyebrows and I can see his eyes burning with flames. "I don't care what they say about us or what they expect either—all I know is that I want to be with you," he expresses as he holds my hands.
"Harry, this is going too fast for me," I snap with furrowed eyebrows and I rip my hands away. "My whole life I've only wanted revenge for my brother and to take my place into the spotlight—am I willing to give everything up because of you? I don't know if I can," I say with my heart burning with every word.
"Starlette, please, you have to understand. I did what I had to do—there was no other way-" he trails off as I silence him with my index finger.
"Do not make me choose between my family and you, Harry. That's even too toxic for me. This whole thing—between us—it's nothing. I don't feel anything for you-" I try to say but he cuts me off. The thing is...I did. I felt so many things for this man in front of me but some things are better unsaid.
"Then why did you stalk me when I was with Rosalie? Or why did you come to have sex with me at five thirty in the morning? Don't you dare tell me you didn't feel anything," he snaps as he jumps to his feet and points a finger at me.
"But I didn't! Everything was a lie—I'm a lie! I don't have the courage to choose you, Harry. Call me a coward because I f*cking am!" I shout as I stand on my feet and feel the tears falling down my rosy and cold cheeks.
"After all these scenes and scandals you showed the world, you were fearless and took the leap but with me, you can't? Now you choose to be a f*cking coward? Don't throw away a good thing," he angrily snaps as his eyes burn with such intensity and venom.
"I'm a lie—a fake! I can face the world but I can't face you, Harry, because I don't love you," I scream as I push him back harshly. He takes the push and stumbles back slightly before his eyebrows furrow with hurt.
"You don't...love me?" His voice cracks as the tears pour down his rosy cheeks and his chest heaves with such intense pain.
"Harry...I've been trying to tell you. Everything we had, it means nothing to me and it will never either. There's so many girls out there who would love you unconditionally but I can't! Even if I wanted to, I can't give you the love you deserve," I say as I gesture around like a crazy woman.
"But you didn't even try to! How would you know if you never gave it a shot?" He whispers as he looks me in the eyes with tears.
"Because I can't!" I scream as I push him back and he stumbles slightly.
"But I f*cken love you!" He blurts. With the adrenaline pumping through my veins and heart dropping, my mouth falls agape. He didn't just say that—he can't say that. No matter what I feel, it won't help my situation.
"Then stop loving me!" I scream with clenched fists and tears falling down my cheeks.
"I can't!" He exclaims as he grabs my arms.
"Then that's the problem. We don't work, Harry, and we will never either. I don't want to be with you because...you're not good enough for me," I whisper as I look into his eyes. I just did a bad thing...
With the flash of hurt, he takes a step back as if I struck him with a dagger and twisted it. "I'm not good enough? I'm not f*cking good enough? After everything, I treated you with the respect and love any person should have and suddenly I don't match your standards?" He screams. My eyes widen as I see his grab the lamp and throw it on the wall. With the pieces shattering onto the floor, I take a step back with complete and utter shock.
Shutting my eyes with tears and feeling the dagger within my chest, I turn my back. I climb down the ladder but not before I see Harry fall to his knees with the endless sobs. His hair falls on his face and his wet cheeks show the endless amount of pain I just caused. It was for the best—we were growing too attached to one another. In fact, I f*cking saved his life...but that's when I hear it.
"I'll never be good enough."
(Hey lovelies! THIS IS THE MOST DRAMATIC SCENE I'VE EVER WRITTEN AND IVE NEVER FELT MORE CONNECTED THAN THIS. THE PAIN I CAUSED MYSELF LIKE PLEASE! Anyways, what'd you think?)
~Love, Natalie