Thanks for reading.
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Rain pounded on the walls and windows of the house as lighting flashed against the sky. The wind caused noise to come from the shutters as it rattled against the frames. And as one loud burst of thunder went through, the lights in the house went off.
Maya stopped scrubbing the plate over the sink as she looked up. She sighed and closed the water off, throwing the dish towel down and the half clean plate back in the sink. She wiped the water that had gotten on her forehead away with her wrist.
She could hear the shuffling around upstairs. It wasn't too dark in the house. And the burst of lighting that came through the window gave Maya enough light to be able to see where she had placed her phone on the counter.
She grabbed her phone and turned the flashlight on so she could see in front of her as she made her way to the steps. She slowly made her way up the stairs and into the hallway where the moving around could be heard better.
She stopped right outside the bedroom door and grabbed the handle. Pushing it open slightly and peeking her head through, she could see Josh's shadow move across the room in the darkness.
She opened the door wider and watched him as he lit candles around the room. Not a lot, but enough to give them light. A couple on the dresser, one on the bedside table. One on the tv stand. If this would have been under any other circumstance, Maya would have thought his intentions were romantic. But this wasn't any other circumstance.
"Hey." She whispered softly as she leaned against the doorframe, her arms crossed. She saw Josh freeze for a couple of seconds with his back turned to her, then he started moving again. Slowly this time as he lit the candle that was on the dresser with a match. "Dishes are only half done. The power went out before I could finish." She stated.
He kept his back to her as he opened the top drawer of the dresser and put the matches back in and shut it closed. Maya bit her lip.
"Riley called. Her and Lucas were thinking about taking the weekend to get away. She wanted to know if we could look after Kaylee for them while we're gone. Sort of like practice, you know?" She asked as she unfolded her arms and rested one hand on the flatness of her stomach. Soon enough it wouldn't be flat anymore.
Josh still didn't say anything. He rested both of his hands on the dresser, as if he were bracing himself. His head was leaned down and the muscles in his shoulders and back were tense.
"Did I do something?" Maya asked him. "You've been ignoring me all night and I've been trying to rack my brain of what I could have done to make you angry. Usually I'm pretty good at knowing, but this time I really don't know what I did." She explained. "I want you to tell me, Josh. So I can fix it-" her voice cracked and she cut herself off as Josh abruptly turned around to face her.
She could see the unshed tears in his eyes, the look of complete brokenness on his face. She knew that look, it was the look she carried around for so long until him. He leaned back against the dresser. He seemed so defeated. And with a little shake of his head, Maya knew this had nothing to do with her.
"Then why are you pushing me away?" She whispered as she stepped into the room. Josh ran a hand through his hair as he tried to look everywhere but her.
Maya slowly walked up to him. She grabbed the hand that was still in his hair and brought it down to his side. Her other hand came up to his face and she gently creased his cheek as she moved his head to where he was looking at her. Facing her. Sending him a silent reminder that she was there.
There was a moment where they just stared at each other. Maya trying to send him messages through her eyes that she wasn't leaving. She was going to stay there with him through it all. No matter what.
In the end Maya wasn't sure who moved first. Rather she pulled him down or he pulled her up. But before she knew it, Josh's arms were around her, his hands on her, and their lips were together.
It seemed almost desperate, needful. He pulled her to him tightly, barely giving her anytime to breath. Her hands were in his hair, one creasing the back of his neck causing him to shudder. His hand moved down to grip her thigh, and he helped her jump to put her legs around his waist.
He moved them to the bed, gently laying her back on the pillows as he climbed overtop of her. He grabbed the collar of his shirt and slid it off, throwing it on the floor before leaning back down to kiss her again.
Maya ran her hands over his back and traced the muscles. He laid in between her legs as she wrapped one around his waist to bring him closer, then rubbing against each other through their clothes.
Maya let out a moan as he moved from her lips and down to her neck. He found her sweet spot and focused his attention there as Maya ran her nails down his back, leaving marks for tomorrow she was sure.
He moved away and grabbed the hem of her shirt. Maya leaned up and helped him take it off, soon joining his on the floor. He was back on top of her, making his way down her body with slow, open mouthed kisses.
He stopped at her stomach, and laid a soft gentle kiss on her abdomen. Maya felt her heart swell as she knew he was kissing their baby, rather than kissing her. He made his way further down.
Maya remembered laying there in the mist of the pure bliss and pleasure she was feeling. There was definitely something bothering him. Something that he wanted to forget for the time. Though Maya wasn't complaining. And she definitely wasn't going to bring it up now.
~
It had been hours since they had started. Finally feeling satisfied as they laid together in their post bliss. The sheets were wrapped tightly against Maya as Josh only has his covering his waist, his chest was out on full display.
His arm was around her as she laid half ok top of him with her head on his shoulder. Her arm and leg around him as he gently ran his fingers up and down her exposed thigh that was peeking out from the covers. She sighed happily as her hand came up to crease his cheek.
"Are you feeling better?" She asked him softly. Josh didn't stop touching her as he thought about the question for a moment.
"You always make me feel better." He told her. His voice was raspy. The tone of voice that always made Maya feel some type of way in the early mornings.
"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked him. Her thumb creasing from his cheek to the corner of his lips. Josh ran his hand up body causing her eyes to flutter shut in pleasure. He grabbed her wrist with his hand and brought her hand to his mouth to kiss.
"I'm sorry I ignored you tonight." He whispered. "I wasn't angry with you. I just didn't want to talk to anyone."
"You know you can always talk to me." Maya said. Josh played with her fingers that was now splayed out on his chest.
"I needed to calm down first." He said. "I wasn't planning on using you to do that. But I can't say that I regret it." Maya smiled.
"We're married. I'm pretty sure there is no such thing as "using me" when it comes to sex with your wife." She told him. "But, I'm glad that I could help make you forget, at least for a little bit." He continued to play with her fingers as he stared up at the ceiling. Maya watched him for a moment, his eyes were glossed over, and she knew he was trying to turn his emotions off. It was frightening to see, usually she was the one that was good at turning her emotions off. She was the one that tuned out the whole world and kept to herself. Josh was never good at it. He always wore his heart on his sleeve, so easy to read. It scared her that he was learning how to do it. "Baby, what's wrong?" She asked quietly. Josh swallowed hard before answering.
"He's never going to meet him." He whispered, though it felt like a bomb going off in the quietness of the room. "Or her." He added as an afterthought.
"The baby?" Maya asked in confirmation. Josh nodded slowly.
"I always knew that being so much younger than my siblings might have consequences some day. That there was a chance I may not get to experience with my parents what the rest of them did." Maya sat up, pulling the covers with her so she could look at him better. "It just wasn't something that I feared would ever happen. My dad's the strongest man I know, in a way I always thought of him as invincible." His tone broke.
"Josh," Maya whispered as she ran a hand through his hair, pushing his bangs back.
"He doesn't even know me, Maya." He whispered, as if talking any louder would make him break. "I walked into the room today, and he thought I was a doctor. He couldn't even remember my name." Tears slipped down his face, and Maya felt her own eyes grow wet. "He remembered Eric and Cory, even asked where Morgan was. The nurse said Alzheimer's does that, takes your memory bit by bit."
"Maybe he was just having a bad day," She tried to reassure him as she ran her hand over his cheek, wiping his tears. He shook his head.
"It doesn't matter. He's only going to get worse. Mom says his memory is getting worse and worse by the day. It's taking over more quickly and there's nothing they can do." Maya took in a shaky breath. "I don't know what to do," He whispered. "I don't know how to deal with this. I don't want to deal with this."
Maya gently grabbed his arm and pulled him up. He rested his head on her shoulder and sobbed. Maya held him close, his arms wrapping around her, clutching onto her as if she was his only life line. She straddled his lap, her hand running through his hair as her arm wrapped around him tightly. She let her own tears slip down her face as his body shook, his quiet sobs racking through him.
"I'm so sorry," She whispered in his ear. "I'm here for you." She kept repeating. She let him cry on his shoulder for as long as he needed to, and only pulled back when he had calmed down enough that his grip on her had relaxed. She sniffled her tears back, and he closed his eyes as she ran a hand through his hair in a soothing manner.
"I don't want to feel like this, Maya." He told her. "Not with everything going on right now. You and our baby need me-"
"Josh," Maya cut him off gently. "Nobody expects you to hold it together right now. You're already being so strong by just going through this." He leaned into her touch. "You're already doing so much just by being here. And now it's my turn to be there for you."
"You don't need any of this on you right now." He said shaking his head.
"I need you." She rubbed his cheek with her thumb. "We promised each other on our wedding day for better and for worse. Your problems are mine. You don't go through these things alone." She leaned her forehead against his. "I love you, please don't shut me out." He leaned forward and kissed her.
They both fell back on the bed, the covers falling away and his body covering hers. He kissed her again, her hands running through his hair as his hand trailed down her stomach. Her breath hitched and he leaned back to stare at her.
"I love you so much." He whispered. She rubbed his cheek, her eyes telling him everything he needed to hear before he leaned back down and kissed her again.
Josh had always been the one that was good with words between the two of them. He always knew what to say, had the solution to all their problems. He always knew how to express himself to her, how to show her and tell her how much he loved her. He was incredible like that. It was one of the things that she loved most about him.
It didn't take a lot to shake him up. Maya always felt awkward, never knew if she were saying the right things or if she was just making everything worse. But there was something they had between them, a look that they would share. It was all they needed to express how they were feeling toward one another. Almost like they could read each others mind in that matter.
And in that moment, in the bedroom when it was just them. What they were sharing together, The small looks, and the lingering touches. It was all either of them needed to know that maybe everything wasn't alright, but everything would be alright. As long as they had each other, they could withstand anything. And that's all they needed.
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