Wrapped in a towel and without your consent as usual, Hisoka carried you out the bathroom and gave you some privacy to change before keeping you company, alongside Maleeka till you dosed off into a deep slumber.
Maleeka was going to fall asleep with you but she eventually left to go to her room because she was under the impression that the spot next to you was where Hisoka was going to sleep. And she didn't want to intrude. However she was dearly mistaken. Hisoka wasn't going to sleep with you.
You and him weren't at that point of comfort anymore. A lot had to be done and spoken about to reach that level again. The last thing he wanted was for you to feel overwhelmed and uncomfortable with his presence. Yet alone sharing a bed with him.
And he wasn't even going to sleep anywhere in the room. Hisoka was going to leave you to be entirely alone. It was important you had your space after seven years living without anyone else but Maleeka. The next best thing to be close to you incase you needed assistance or something happened, Hisoka decided to sleep in the lounge not far from your room.
Getting ready himself at the hour of 11pm, Hisoka had a quick shower and brought his pillow and blanket downstairs to call it a night.
Laying down, he heard his phone vibrate. It was a message from Sebastian.
'Settled?'
'Yeah she's settled. Fell asleep an hour ago.' Hisoka typed back.
'You with her?'
Tiredly sighing, Hisoka stared at the message for a bit. Wondering how Sabastein always seemed to know the vibes between you and him.
'No. I'm laying down in the lounge. Her and I aren't like that anymore. She needs her space.' Hisoka answered his friend truthfully. It was with always Sebastian he could have these conversations Hisoka doesn't like having.
'Correction. It's not 'anymore', it's you and her aren't like that yet. She will come around. Y/n always does. She loves you after all..' Sebastian took the risk of typing the last bit. Knowing full well Hisoka will probably stop responding to him now.
Freezing, Hisoka reread that last line at least more than five times.
He just wasn't used to it..Reading it. Hearing about it. Thinking about it. Or even feeling love. It just wasn't his domain.
But surprisingly, Hisoka did respond.
'Before she got discharged, she told me that we need to talk.'
Reading that message, Sebastian immediately understood what Hisoka's intentions were behind that message. Nothing could go unnoticed by him.
'Stop stressing Hisoka. That talk won't be anything bad. She's still going to be around you after that talk. Y/n probably just wants to clear the air once and for all before moving on with you.' Hisoka read. Of course his several decade old friend instinctively knew what Hisoka was subconsciously patronised about, but was far too proud to admit.
Exhaling heavily, Hisoka placed his phone on the coffee table before closing his eyes in attempt to block out everything. He hated not being in control with everything. He hated the unknown. He hated stressing over things he never would.
And most importantly, he detested not knowing where he stands with you.
Sebastian was right. He was concerned about what you were going to say to him. And the number one running worrisome thought, was that you were going to say 'Thank you for everything Hisoka. But everything between us was a mistake. It's best if we live our separate lives. I just can't do this again with you.'
Maybe the younger version of Hisoka wouldn't have cared so much. But this nearing decade changed him. He wanted stability and consistency. His mellowed down version of himself wanted to enjoy the finer things in life money couldn't buy him.
And that was you and his daughter.
_
"Daddy? Where are you going?" A sleepy Maleeka that slowly throdded down the staircase enquired.
Tying his shoelace, Hisoka stood up and zipped his perfectly tight fitted tracksuit. Vaguely outlining his muscular upper body.
"I'm going for a run." He answered, a bit surprised that she was up.
"Run? The sun isn't even up yet. It's like 4:30 am. Why you going so early?" She asked, now standing in front of him.
"Couldn't sleep, and I need to clear my mind. Besides, running before sunrise in the crisp air feels good." He replied, giving her one of his warm Joker smiles.
"Hmm. Why, what's worrying you? Is it mum?" She maturely asked.
Not changing his countenance too much to give away that it was the thoughts of you that haunted him awake, Hisoka knelt down to Maleeka'a level.
"You want to come with me?" He asked, purposely ignoring her question.
"Mmm.." She pensively groaned, burying her chin in the thin duvet wrapped around her that she brought down.
"We can stop by your favourite restaurant to get an early breakfast." Hisoka tempted. Low-key actually wanting to spend time with her more than usual today.
"Mmm!" Maleeka groaned more aggressively because her resolve immediately grew weak at the mention of food.
"I won't be able to keep up with you though. You like ten times bigger and stronger than me." She lazily protested.
"Well, you my daughter. Becoming strong is essential. You know very well the people in my life need to be up to par with me survive." Hisoka seriously stated with a surprisingly gentle undertone.
Looking deeply into his eyes, "Strong like you and mom?"
"Strong like her and I. Especially her." Hisoka replied, having flashbacks of all the times you had to fight and outsmart people.
"...Do I need to be strong so I can fight like mummy did that day we were driving out of Paris? 'Coz that's how our lives are going to be from now on?" She asked in a low tone. Clearly still bothered by that incident.
Seeing uneasiness swim across Maleeka's golden eyes, Hisoka cupped her cheek with endearment. Feeling a tad bit guilty because Hisoka is responsible for the life you and his child have to live in forever.
"No. Our lives aren't like that. What happened that day is something that seldom happens. It can even happen to ordinary people. It's just good to be strong and have endurance."
Pouting partially displeased, "How can I be sure that's not how our lives will be forever? Or nothing bad will ever happen to us?" Maleeka sought out for assurance. Not being entirely convinced.
"Because I will never let anything bad happen to you or your mother. "
"And how I'm sure our life won't be dangerous? Well, let's just say no one bothers the boss in a hurry." Hisoka smugly added.
Giggling lightly because she felt much more assured due too his last sentence, Maleeka nuzzled against his hand. "It's so cool that I can say my dad is this big shot boss."
Smiling back at her rather prideful at her innocence, Hisoka nudged her cheek before retreating back up.
"I'll wait for you. Go get dressed and freshen up a bit." He instructed, rather than ask her whether she wants to tag alone.
"But-"
"You don't need run the entire time. Simple walking is suffice." He smoothly cut her protest off.
Groaning dissatisfied, "You and mom are the same. Ya'll both workout addicts." She murmured before making her way back up the long flight of stairs, that itself was a strenuous cardio workout.
Around six minutes in of nonstop running, Maleeka finally gave out and requested Hisoka to carry her on his back since he wasn't ready to stop running yet. And obviously he didn't mind. If anything, running with weights on his back was better.
Securely wrapping her arms around his neck, and legs around his waist, Maleeka rested her chin over his broad shoulder.
"Neh, you avoided my question earlier. What are you worried about?" She asked, taking in the beautiful forest like area covered in mist in front of her.
"If I avoided your question doesn't that mean you shouldn't ask about it again?" Hisoka enquired half serious, half amused.
"I know that. But I want to know." She cheekily responded.
Blatantly ignoring her question, Hisoka jogged for a few more minutes in silence until he got up the hill. Far above the mist and clouds.
Sliding his daughter off his back, Hisoka sat down on the bench that overlooked the darkened forest.
"It's quite scary up here in the dark.." Maleeka whispered, sitting right up against Hisoka out of fear. Tightly, she held onto his upper arm. She wasn't even going to try and act brave this time. Being in a forest, so high up to a point no one could hear your screams and being encapsulated by darkness could scare the shit out of anyone.
"That fear you feeling right now." He finally began to speak. Low and distant. As distant as his eyes could see into the sea of depression below him.
"It's.." Breathlessly, Hisoka trailed off into silence. Obvious that he was struggling to talk about this. Yet alone to his daughter.
But what better person to confide in than his own blood and flesh.
"It's the same fear I'm feeling towards your mother right now." The Joker vulnerably confessed.
"You scared of being here because you afraid something terrible is going to happen to you. That someone with malice intent is going to snatch and drag you into the darkness. And there's going to be nothing I can do because it's dark and the area is unknown. So you will be gone forever." Hisoka continued to philosophically speak. Purposely causing the level of fear in Maleeka to increase drastically by those horrid figurative descriptions he painted in her mind.
"That's the same way I feel about your mother right now."
"That someone is going to take her from me or get in the way again. Let it be someone or death itself. That something bad is going to happen to her or between us. The last opportunity I have to fix things will be ruined. Then there's the strong possibility that She's had enough of me. Moved on. And there won't be anything I can do about it.."
Closing his eyes painfully with a misty cold sigh, "I don't think I can handle the next 40 years without her." A weakened Hisoka whispered.
A bit startled by a confession that's odd to hear from her father, Maleeka's amber eyes soften immensely the longer she gazed at Hisoka from the side. She truly didn't expect him to verbally express such concerns so emotionally.
But what really affected Maleeka was the display of deep feelings He had for you.
Just like she told Killua, one of her wishes were to have her parents be head over heels for each other like they used to be before they had her.. The mistake.
"...Death won't come for mom because you promised you won't let anything bad happen to her remember?" Maleeka murmured in a hushed undertone - reading the mood, and obliviously because she didn't want to attract anything that could be potentially out there.
Peering open his eyes again, Hisoka held eye contact with his kin, vaguely smiling. Almost as if he was trying to assure himself he could protect and save you always.
Not being able to find you organs truly dented his confidence. After that incident he questioned himself several times whether he was worthy to be in your life because Hisoka seldomly fails. So having him do so now really messed up his mind.
"And I'll keep that promise." He curtly replied.
"I'm sure if mummy didn't want you she would've made it known to you from the start. Surgery or not. She wouldn't be happy living with you. So, I'm pretty positive that she's not sick of you and wants to move on away from you daddy.." Maleeka maturely wised up her father that needed an awakening.
"Mum hasn't been with any guy back Yale till now. Never once spoke about a cute guy on campus or in the mall. Never went out with anyone. Not ever touched any guy."
"No one but you. Still, after all these years.."
Oh but she was mistaken. And thankfully so. Hisoka didn't want Maleeka to see you and Yami getting physical.
Staring into his eyes bittersweetly, Maleeka distantly smiled. "That night in Paris. I got up and saw you and mum cuddling in each other's arms. She looked at peace with you..Her facial expression was relaxed and happy. And it appeared to be that she was finally home.."
"I've never seen her look like she was at home ever. In the dorms or even Itachi's house we stayed in for a bit. Only in your arms she found salvation."
"And she didn't even remember who and what you were to her when it happened. But it was obvious her subconscious recognised you. And in that moment, her subconscious was the real her that we have back right now. So there's nothing to worry about daddy. My mother needs and wants you back. She's not going to leave you. Especially after a near death experience. Knowing her, she probably now will want to live her life like it was her last because technically it could be. Her body could reject her organs at anytime.." Maleeka depressively stated the last part. Surprising Hisoka that she would knew something like that.
"..So she's not going to waste her days anymore. She's going to want to live everyday to the fullest with you. It's so obvious that she loves you like crazy idiot." She unimpressively said. Obviously judging her father's thoughts despite the cold hard facts he refuses to come to terms with.
With a light chuckle transitioning to an amused hum, Hisoka leaned back against the bench and stared back into the darkness. "Quite the psychologist aren't you?" Hisoka simply stated, obviously appreciating her words. He definitely needed to hear this.
"Thank you Maleeka." He thoughtfully stated.
"You are welcome father." She beamed. Feeling rather proud of herself for being able to cheer someone up.
"Can I ask you a question?" Hisoka asked, still sounding extremely alluring.
"Yip."
".. Don't you hate me for what I did to you and your mother?" Hisoka enquired. Clearly on the road to redemption.
Sighing lightly, Maleeka voided remaining silent for too long to not give the impression she's coming up with a lie or just felt uncomfortable by such harsh truths.
"It does hurt me to know I was a mistake. And it did hurt me too know that we were kicked out of your life. But what good does the past do to your present and future if you keep rehashing it." She cleverly stated what still hurt her and what didn't anymore.
".. What I care about the most is how things are going now. And right now, I see my father that wants me and mum around.." She kindly said, definitely astonishing Hisoka by her wisdom and maturity. Most grown ass adults would still be holding a nasty grudge against someone who did them wrong. But not you. Not this six year old that seemed to be 40.
Expelling another slow soul heavy sigh, Hisoka lightly draped his arm over her shoulders and pulled her ever so close to him for a hug. Something Hisoka rarely gave anyone. Yet alone his own daughter.
Partially wide eyed, Maleeka gradually relaxed her startled and stiff body against his hard chest. Melting into a pool of eerie warmth from her long lost fathers touch.
Although Hisoka was dead silent, she gained the ability to understand his mental conversations. Via touch, she could hear him tell her he is sorry for hurting her. Sorry that he never was a father to her from day 1. And most importantly, apologising for hurting her mother so terribly.
But on a lighter note. Maleeka could also decipher that the Joker was relieved by her answers. He probably wouldn't have been able to handle hearing Maleeka say the opposite.
Everything wasn't picture perfect. The family wasn't necessarily complete. But winning on his daughter's side was a win he will take. Through this up and down journey with you. The one positive thing he got out of this was being granted the opportunity to create a bond with Maleeka. Something he didn't think would be possible because of the first impression he got of her at the hospital. A volatile strong-headed child that needed no one but her mother. But that wasn't the case. Maleeka was an opened minded and understanding kid. Sought Hisoka out secretly knowing you detested him.
Getting somewhere slowly was better than getting no where after all. So of course he would take this father-daughter win.
Slowly creeping her tiny arms around his torso to hug him back, Maleeka bit her bottom lip hard in attempt to suppress unexpectedly fresh tears that were simmering on the brims of her eyes. Having Hisoka hug her like that in the dark in the middle of no where, ever so high above the forest so tenderly just brought up several emotional feelings and thoughts she was depressively bottling up. She could see that there was vast amounts of tension between her parents. They had enough issues to deal with. The last thing she wanted was to add to the problem. Hence shoving down her feelings and thoughts was the only option.
But being in her fathers arms now broke down those stern walls. Exposing her child like vulnerability.
Now clutching onto the fabrics of Hisoka's jacket, Maleeka buried her face deeper into his chest in aim of blocking her tears from his view.
"Tsk.. You such a simp f-for mummy you know that?.." She attempted to humorously tease to mask her morbidity. Shifting the conversation topic spot light off her and onto you again.
With a breathless amused huff, Hisoka ended up hugging Maleeka tighter as a ripple effect of her holding onto him tighter. Resting his chin comfortably on top of her head like he would do with you, "Unfortunately this time you are spewing out nonsense lil brat." He replied. However, Not an ounce of defence or denial existed in his undertone - indicating that he indirectly agreed with her statement.
The younger generation called it simping. He called it merely wanting you.