Wednesday: 7:45 P. M.
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*Which pool party you a talk bout miss!?* I send to Deidre as soon as I step through the door.
Using my foot, I close the door behind me since I'm busy trying to balance my phone, water bottle, and keys in one hand while the other is burdened with my purse and the bag with the food I'd bought earlier.
Placing the keys on the console in the hall, I then kick off my shoes before heading further down the hall.
Thank you Father for bringing me home safely.
I'm tired, my head hurts and I can feel the sleep starting to burn my eyes. My body is literally exhausted. And to think tomorrow is only Thursday.
Ugh!
The coolness streaming out of the AC in the living room instantly caresses my skin, for which I'm thankful as today was hot as hell.
The days are usually like this as it's coming down to June, but, gosh! the heat today hit different.
While life in the city is great and convenient and all, the only thing I'll never miss is the Kingston heat. When town gets hot, it's like a living furnace.
Merciful saviour!
Thank God for country life.
Although it's not that different here now. It's already nighttime, and I can still feel the heat. When yuh see country hot suh too yuh muss know. I can tell this summer is going to be crazy hot.
That reminds me, I need to get my car's air conditioning tuned.
"Evening," I tell mummy and daddy who are cuddled in the living room watching replays of the news on YouTube.
"Yuh come," mummy answers, peering over daddy's shoulder at me at the sound of my voice.
"Yea, unuh eat already?" I ask, walking past them and placing the bags with the food I bought on the table in the kitchen. "'Cause I brought food."
At that, mummy sits up. "Food? Wah kinda food?"
Daddy sits up too at the mention of food.
Too bad it's not KFC. What a man fi crazy 'bout Kentucky.
"It's the same Chinese food I bought for you the last time," I tell her as I turn and open the fridge.
My throat is so parched it's starting to scratch me.
"Chinese food? The orange meat?" Mummy asks, instead of looking for herself.
"Tha red-red, sweetie-sweetie sum'n deh yuh buy last time?" Daddy adds.
I roll my eyes and open the bottle of water before bringing it to my head and taking a huge gulp.
My head is pounding like crazy. It's as if the gas has gone up in there.
Shit.
"Strawberry chicken...and no. I know you don't like that so why would I buy it again?"
These people...cho!
Before them just say thanks for the likkle food, them a badger mi...
"It smell like curry? A curry?" Mummy says again, feeling around the bag.
"Mummy man!" I yell. "Just look nuh!"
"Which one a mine!?" she matches my tone.
"The bag with the two food inside."
She stands off and raises her brow at me. "Suh a wha make you peppery suh tonight?"
I sigh and sit down on the stool around the counter. "Mi head a tear off, and unuh just nah go easy."
"Headache? A weh that deh headache deh come from pon you now?" she asks me, resting the back of her hand on my forehead to feel for a fever, I'm guessing. "Yuh want likkle ginger tea?"
Nodding, I take another sip of the water in my hand.
My phone pings and I take it up and open the text from Deidre.
*Damien has invited us to his friend's pool thing Saturday. And we're going.*
Friend?
Which friend?
Lucas?
*Which friend that?* I type out my thought.
Somehow my heart skips a beat at the thought of being somewhere with Lucas again.
Within seconds my phone pings again with her reply, *I don't really know eno. He just said he and Dwayne will be there. A wah?*
And if he and Dwayne will be there, chances are Lucas will be there too.
I don't know.
I don't know how I feel about that.
Considering how we left things the last time.
*Nothing. Just checking.*
If a certain someone will be in attendance.
*Yea. It'll be fun. 😜🤸We haven't been out in forever.*
*We went clubbing the other day tho. 🙄*
*You know what I mean, bish. 😒🙄*
I still don't know.
Should I go?
*Nah. Not feeling it.* I tell Deidre. I know she wants me to go, but I just don't know.
I don't trust seeing him again.
Not when I'm trying to get him out of my head.
Is that what you're doing with D'Aante?
D'vante! And no, this has nothing to do with him.
I literally just met the guy. Gosh!
*Wha u mean!!!??* she sends to me, but before I can answer her text, my phone starts ringing.
Rolling my eyes, I sigh and pick it up.
"Wah yuh mean you're not feeling it?" Deidre practically shouts, almost bursting my damn eardrum, before I can even acknowledge her.
"Hello to you too, miss ma'am!" I say, not even trying to mask the sarcasm in my tone.
My head is hurting too much for all of this damn excitement.
"To the point!" she says in an even dryer tone.
Not wanting mummy and daddy to hear our conversation, I get up and make my way up the stairs. "It's just a party. What's the big deal?"
"So, why don't you want to come? You said it yourself, it's just a party."
I know she'd push it to the extreme.
She wouldn't understand.
MAYBE she would if you'd told her about you and Lucas...but no.
It's my business to tell isn't it? Plus, it's not that deep.
Right?
After stripping out of my clothes, I wrap the bath towel around me. "I just don't feel like going. Furthermore, I can't bother to be in the mix right now."
"But I thought you'd be willing to get back out there now. At least get your mind off of certain things."
The concern in her voice makes me feel a bit guilty.
Am I overreacting?
It's not like it's a guarantee he'll be there, right?
Then there's a part of me that wants him to be there. I haven't seen him in almost a week, and strangely enough, I miss him.
Pitiful.
I know.
And that's exactly my problem.
I can't trust myself.
I sigh. "The truth is, I don't want to see Lucas," I say lowly, confessing the truth.
Good girl. See, it wasn't so hard.
"Lucas? The insta guy from the club?" she says, even though I'm positive she knows who Lucas is. She is fucking his best friend after all. I can clearly hear the shock in her voice though which distracts me. "Why?"
"I——" I start to say.
"Who's Lucas, and what did I miss?" another familiar voice says in the background.
Sanai.
I didn't know she was staying over.
I almost sink into the bed. My cheeks get hot and my heartbeat races against my ribcage.
"The hot guy from Instagram that Amanda has a crush on," Deidre's no-filtered ass says.
"I do not have a crush on him, Jesus, gyal!"
"Right..." she says.
"Mr. Six pack?" Sanai, asks.
Mr. Six pack? So they've been talking about him. About us?
I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose. I know I shouldn't have answered this call.
"Him same one," Deidre agrees, effectively throwing me and my business under the bus.
"Eeh!" Sanai exclaims, taking the phone I'm assuming as her voice gets louder. "A them good body man deh yuh a feature under wraps?"
I gasp quite dramatically but say nothing to neither confirm nor deny her claim.
Once Sanai and Deidre starts, I might as well let it be.
After all, nothing I say will matter at this point.
"Yuh know say yuh wicked! And deh yah a bawl over nasty Odaine like man a endangered species, when Mr. Six pack is at your beck and call. You are a dangerous girl Miss. Amanda Smikle..." She tsks.
"Stop believe Deidre. There's nothing going on between me and that man."
"Is that so? But you'd want it to don't? Same. Mi like it fi yuh, yah goodie!" she says, as if ignoring everything I just said.
I shake my head even though she cannot see me.
I stay quiet, trying to guage what she's coming with next. With Sanai, you can always expect the unexpected. Trust me.
"Him a husband material. A him fi give yuh one nice, clean baby. Matter-of-fact, a him fi fling one baby pon yuh and tie yuh dung like shoeslace! And when the first one born, him just rally back suh bups and make yuh drop dem backa backa backa backa just a gallang suh. Yea..."
Woii! If I laugh today, mi drop a grung and spread out lacka carpet to pussyclaat!
"Baby? Miss don't sorry fi mi yawh!" I say and laugh.
Have to take bad things make joke sometimes. Baby fi tie down who? Me?
After mi nah get off...
...any tying down a gwaan ya so a muss with piece a rope...
...strangle mi and tie mi up, yes!
...to him bed!
She laughs too.
"No, but big woman thing, yuh like him don't?" she says again suddenly, her question catching me off-guard. "Talk truth!"
Yes!
"No!" I say a little too chirply.
Thank God they can't see the ball of fire that's ablaze in my cheeks.
"Watch blush!" Sanai says nonetheless. It's as if she's seeing through me, even behind the screen. "Woi! Father God, if yuh nuh busy come yah likkle bit!"
Hey, she extra yuh fret!
I roll my eyes, but find it hard to replace the smile which graces my lips. "I said no eno, miss. Yuh never hear?"
Stop tell lie man. 'Cause yuh nuh make fi it.
"'I said no eno, miss. Yuh never hear?'" she mocks me in an annoyingly squeaky voice that I know sounds nothing like me. "Mumma, please stop talk. Yuh might can fool Deidre, but not this yah gyal yah. Mi have a degree ina reading through crushes."
And fighting over man...
"Nutt'n nuh wrong if you like him eno, goodie," she adds. "A man. A him yuh fi like. Plus, bwoy well sweet. Scratch that! Bwoy nice! Bwoy clean like Jesus police record!"
Talk truth!
"A him yuh fi spring up fa like yam vine, instead of likkle tickle Odaine! Him a farmer material. Old McDonald nuh have nutt'n pon him!"
Look yah nuh man!
That went from zero to one hundred real friggin quickly.
I bite my bottom lip to hold back the laugh which threatens to explode.
"Look here, mi is a girl weh love badman. And mi nuh too know fi him status stills, but all if him a nuh badman, mi would a rest mi standards pon the grung likkle bit..."
Cho bubblegum!
For some reason Sanai reminds me of Miss Kitty.
"Yuh nuh easy eno, woman!" I admit through a smile. "Yuh full a too much energy. Like a you name energizer bunny!"
She laughs. "No eno. Mi just passionate 'bout certain things."
I bet you are...
"Listen, just like how us women crave attention and being told we look damn sexy, so do men. If a man is sexy as fuck, we must tell him that he's sexy as fuck. If we don't, then another woman surely will. And trust me, Mr. Hunk here is sexy as fuck."
True.
Hearing her talk this way about Lucas is unbelievably entertaining. I know he's hot and all, it's no secret; a blind man could see, but hearing another girl gushing over him is sexy as hell. I don't know what it is, but it just is. And it surprises me still.
Were it any other girl though, I know I'd be fucking jealous, or at least be all up in my feelings, but it's not that way with Sanai. I guess it's because I know that with her it's just harmless fun.
It always is.
Sanai has been that way since the first time I met her, and nothing has changed 'til this day. Free spirited, bubbly, carefree and has a mouth with no filter whatsoever.
A breath of fresh air.
"I bet his buddy big!" she says out of the blues.
Watchya!
"Talk truth!" I hear Deidre's faint voice says in the back.
If she never...!
"Imagine a man like him a tell mi some sweet things inna mi ears a night time...ants nuh muss take it up!? Don't it, D?"
And here I thought she was through.
Rolling over onto my stomach, I bring the pillow underneath my chin to cushion my head. "Deidre, please don't encourage Sanai and her antics. Mi a beg yuh!" I say.
"Woi, all when them tattooed hands deh hold yuh throat and bwoy just a feed yuh with big hood from backway suh, yuh muss turn fool!"
I splutter a laugh which matches a dying hyena's. Somehow this seems to be the relief I needed for my headache which has subsided greatly.
If my face was red before though, it's burning off now!
I don't know if it's a result of what she's saying, the way she's saying it, or the fact that I can picture it so vividly. Whatever it is though, it's certainly doing something to me.
Damn.
"Watch big, black cocky a go in and out of tight pussy; drilling deeper with each stroke. While bwoy grip yuh by yuh neck and a squeeze up yuh breasts...then when yuh think him a guh kill yuh done, him whisper inna yuh ears, 'Take buddy gyal, yuh think mi easy. Who yah ramp wid? Ei, tek buddy!'" she continues. "Look how mi a guh give yuh mi last name..."
She then stops abruptly, before saying, "Why mi back just arch!? Jeesam!"
Mi mumma!
And here I thought I was a horny rabbit. No sah!
"Hey, Sanai, if yuh likkle pum-pum a jump, mi a beg yuh come off a mi phone!"
I can hear Deidre in the back dying with laughter.
"If your pumz nah jump, you come off a my phone!" she retorts.
I laugh for the umpteenth time since night. It's the most honest expression I can manage right now.
"Look here, you better claim that man, hun," Sanai says again, her tone getting more serious now. "Shoot your shot before it's too late."
"Manda too shy, she nah shoot nuh shot!" I hear Deidre adds in the background.
It's a pity yuh nuh know seh shots fire longtime and clip empty...inna gyal belly.
I sigh, wishing we hadn't gotten so serious again so soon. "Hello! You're forgetting one major fact here: the man is already taken!"
Something he not so subtly reminded me of the other day.
Right after he finished fucking out your hole, then proceeded to call you an electronic device...don't forget that part.
I will the thought away. I'm already annoyed at the memory of her:
Jessica....
How ironic is it that I was the one who felt guilty about cheating, yet I'm the one left without a boyfriend now?
Fucking ironic.
I sigh. Again.
"That can be rearranged!" Sanai emphasizes. "Don't let a girlfriend stop you from becoming a wife, baby girl."
"That's the most toxic thing I've heard since night," I say.
I'm not like that.
I won't willingly mess with someone's relationship just to prove a point.
But you already slept with him. Isn't that messing with their relationship?
Well yes, but it's not like it was planned.
So you accidentally buck yuh toe and drop inna him bed...pon him cocky?
Please stop talking, you're not helping! I chastise my inner monster. Give her an inch, she takes a yard.
Sanai hisses her teeth. "Stay there 'bout toxic. Sometimes a little toxicity is necessary."
Coming from the girl who thinks she can change a man.
A heavy sigh escapes my lips. "No, but fun and jokes aside, guys, I just got out of a toxic relationship, I don't think I'm ready to jump back into one."
And that's the thing with my friends. They'll always try to set me up with someone, if they can, now that I'm single. They just don't understand where I'm coming from when I say I don't want to rush into things this time around. While they may not have approved of Odaine from the jump, he was still my boyfriend, and we just ended a two-year relationship, four days ago.
I'm just not ready.
"Well, that's true. I can understand how you feel. As long as you don't let your past stop you from facing your future."
Why dwell on the past when you could have your future standing right in front of you.
That's the same thing Lucas told me the other night.
Must be a sign.
"Yea," is my simple response.
"Manda! Yuh nuh badda want the tea?" Mummy's voice sounds from downstairs.
Shit! I forgot about that. All this chatting has surely distracted me.
"Coming!" I yell back.
"So you're coming Saturday, right?" Deidre's voice takes over again. "Please say yes!"
I sigh. "Fine."
Just as cheap...
"Yaay!" she cheers, and I move the phone from my ear.
"But you owe me." I look at the hamper across from me that's full to the brim with bikinis. "I don't even have anything to wear."
"Clothes?"
"Bikini."
"You? The same Amanda that buys swimsuits just to say you're buying swimsuits?"
I laugh. True. "What time is it by the way?"
"I think they're going for a late evening setting," she answers. "Maybe we can get there by two——two-thirty?"
Two thirty?
A night thing?
"OK."
"So, you're coming over on Friday night after work, so we can all leave together on Saturday?"
I guess that means Sanai is coming too. Figures.
I guess it'd be easier that way...oh, but——
"Oh shit, I forgot! I have to carry mummy to her appointment Saturday!" I tell them, suddenly remembering that shit. "I think she has a one-thirty appointment too eno."
"Seriously? So you won't get to come?"
It's a good thing mi member now!
I pick at my nails, while I think. "Not necessarily. I just won't come over to yours. I guess I can take mummy in the afternoon, then leave and drop her home then head straight to the place. Where is it keeping by the way?"
"I'll ask Damien to send me the address and I'll forward it to you."
I nod. "Kool."
"Amanda!" mummy calls for me again.
I know that if I don't go to her now, she'll have my head for "making her waste her time boiling tea for me and I don't want it!", so I roll over in bed and sit up.
Deidre laughs. "Yuh better gwaan before Mrs. Smikle pole yuh!"
Although my mother acts like she's decent in front of strangers, Deidre has known her long enough to figure her out.
"And you know she's capable," I agree, smiling also.
"So Saturday?" Deidre asks one final time. I know she's trying to get an oath from me.
"Saturday," I confirm.
I can practically hear the smile in her voice when she then says, "Kool. Chat later. Ta-ta!"
The manner in which she says 'Ta-ta' reminds me of that one 'Rebeccuh' meme.
I chuckle at her behaviour. "Zeen."
She's such a kid at times. But I love her to death.
With a click, the call ends and I'm left sitting in the dark room, by myself.
I take a few minutes to absorb everything that just happened, and sigh to myself.
I guess I'm going to a pool party this Saturday with friends and friends of the guy who's been haunting my dreams for days...in the most wicked way possible.
I sigh again.
Why do I have a feeling that it won't just be a fun day with the girls?
Another sigh escapes my lips which are chapped at this point.
What I have gotten myself into Lord...?
Only God he knows.