Hey everyone! Happy New Year!
I'd like to thank everyone for reading my stories and sticking with me through inconsistant publishing, haha
I know I said in the beginning that I would be finished with this story by the end of break... but now I'm not too sure. Currently I'm writing the ending and it keeps getting longer, and just when I'm at the last chapter, I end up having to write another one and it's just really irritating. I'll be done soon, I promise!
I'll just be publishing around three times a day, haha, so please bear with me!!
I love you guys
- cilla ♥
"I thought you said you weren't seeing anybody." Chris sighed deeply.
"I said I wasn't seeing Connor."
My brother stared at me, the disappointment evident in his eyes, but I didn't care. "How did this even start, Diana?"
"I didn't know you guys were friends, I swear. In the beginning he and I... we didn't get along. He wasn't the best teacher and we argued so much he'd make me stay after for detention or tutoring."
"Tutoring? It was with him this whole time?"
"Most of the time." I resisted smiling to myself, remembering the beginning. Remembering his stubborn attitude, his glares, his unreasonably unfair treatment towards me. "He was an asshole."
"How did you end up...- like, yknow. Together?"
"We got to know eachother. I told him one day during an argument that I was a person and he couldn't just treat me like he did because he thought he had authority over me. And that he needed to stop treating people like shit.."
I flushed at my brother's surprised expression. "You told him that? What did he do?"
"He was really angry at first but eventually... he listened." I sat up straighter and moved around the sandwich that became unappitizing remembering the situation I was in. "He learned to respect me."
"He listened." My brother repeated in disbelief. "To you? After you told him that?"
I nodded again.
"Why didn't either of you say anything about knowing eachother when you first... 'met?'"
"I don't know. We were in a weird relationship then. He was just beginning to treat me like I was human,"
"Diana, Chance doesn't even treat himself like he's human."
I sighed sadly, "I know. But he's working on it."
"He chose you over Claire." Chris said in shock. "I mean, I love you, D, but she's a-"
"A doctor, yes I know, I've told him this a thousand times."
"And?"
"And he says he doesn't like her."
It felt... Well, it felt good to be confessing everything I've been wanting to talk to about to Chris. He sat and stared deeply at me, and I loved how I couldn't detect his disappointment any more. Sure, it was still there, but the shock over clouded that.
"So... even after you... admitted to cheating and told him you were leaving him for Andy Carl... he still wanted to be with you?"
I looked back at my brother's eyes. "I still wonder the same thing. But even after he listened to me and started a relationship with Claire again, he was so unhappy."
"Because you were with Andy." Chris told me as if it was obvious. But it wasn't completely the case.
"Even after I convinced Andy to get married, he didn't seem any happier."
"And you two got back together the day dad's parents came?"
I blushed when nodding. "We hadn't really talked before then, but he felt bad."
"He did?"
"Well," I shifted uncomfortably. "He didn't exactly say... the nicest things to me. But I deserved it."
"What did he say?"
"It doesn't matter. But he felt he needed to say he was sorry for being with Claire- eventhough it was my doing-, and for dad dying, and for saying those things, and for not apologizing sooner."
I watched as Chris' eyes wondered off and he was lost for a second, and those identicle blues widened in realization, as if things began to click in his head. "No wonder he was so nice to you when he carried you up the stairs that day." He spoke as if in fascination. "We thought it was because you were so close to us." Then his brows subconciously furrowed, "Turns out you're closer to him."
I was.
"I'm sorry, Chris. It was you of all people I wanted to tell,"
"Then why didn't you?"
"For this exact reason. It's either all of you or none of you with you guys, and I didn't want to risk not being with Charlie."
"Charlie?"
I blushed again. "It's kind of what I call him."
My brother released an uncomfortable breath, and he placed his head in his hands. "Dammit, Diana. What are we gonna do with you?" He kind of joked, letting out a fairly light tone- but it wasn't real. He tried to release the tension, but it was just too much. The awkward fact that I had once been naked underneath that man, that man who was also my teacher. The fact that he smiled at me like he did no one else, and he glared at the remainder of the world. The fact that he loves me, and would openly claim to it to my brothers now. They didn't realize that my man held the truth when looking affectionately into my eyes. That he loved me as I him.
I didn't know what else to do now.
...
I walked into school after being dropped off by James. He stopped me before I left his car, "Hey." He sighed. "Stop moping. You're making me feel bad."
I looked back at him. "Good." Then proceeded. When he grabbed my arm to say something once more I kissed him. I kissed him, causing him to freeze for a good three seconds, then he jerked away from me.
"What the fuck are you doing?" He demanded in disgust, and I couldn't help but release a laugh then.
"Proving to your friend that you're just a friend."
He narrowed his eyes at me. "That wasn't funny it was gross."
I laughed again, and he calmed, saying, "But I'm glad you're laughing." And after a second he jokingly turned serious on me. "Just never do that ever again, ever."
In despite him, I pecked his cheek like I used to as a little girl and escaped into my school, turning solemn and sad once more. I was reminded of the man I wasn't allowed to have anymore. I never realized how often his name was mentioned until it was all I could think about. Students, now. The girls, "Oh my god he probably has a girlfriend..."
"Yeah, this guy in my class asked him once if he had one and Mr. Grant smiled so much it was the hottest thing..."
"So he has a girlfriend- wait he smiles?"
"Tim asked him if she was hot..."
Passed more people.
"...Can't imagine how hard he'd hit it, y'know?" A guys voice.
"Dude, and the chicks he could get. Gotta be honest, Mr. G is a good looking guy." Another guy.
"If I looked like him, I swear I'd..."
And as I continued, the conversations played in my ear, and I stopped before my locker.
Two of my bestfriends were in front of me. And they didn't look happy.
"We'll tell the fucking police, Diana." Connor snapped.
"Christ, Conner, chill." Cole said beside him, and I felt the flush of my skin as I realized they knew. I hated how sad I'd become again.
"Why didn't you tell us, goddammit?" Connor demanded from me.
I only said nothing, moving to the side of them to get to my locker and had to take a peek at the door behind me. Empty. Dark. Shut. And it was then when my angry and depressed man marched down the hall with a scorching coffee in his hand and locked eyes with me. They softened sweetly within that moment, and I know mine did, too. But too early our gaze was interrupted, and my friends yanked me away, glaring behind me as I was dragged to my first period with a heavy heart.
Oh it was hard as hell.
I sat throughout the day, moping indeed and finding it hard to hold up my head. Erin was on vacation that week, of course when I needed her the most. My two other friends weren't the happiest with me, and I avoided them best I could. Eigth period came around and I was finding it difficult not to jump into that man's arms and snuggle into him for the rest of the day. We often shared glances, looks of secret affection instead of looks of teasing and playfullness. We missed eachother, and it was just torture that we weren't allowed to be near eachother like we longed to be. I'd feel his eyes on me, so I'd meet his, and for some reason this action would be like falling in love with him again. Unable to speak of doing so.
School ended.
I was thankful for the room and how it cleared quickly. I was able to run into his arms like I wanted to an hour ago, and I hung off him, feeling as his face snuggled into me. "God, Diana." He groaned, and the sorrow from him accompanied by a few tears. I followed.
"I hate this, Charlie. It feels awful." I said sadly.
"Baby, I know. I couldn't sleep without you. There's just so much bullshit to think about."
I tightened my arms. "Why is this so hard?"
"I'm sorry." He told me, pressing his forhead to mine and I cleared his face of tears, shaking my head.
"It's not your fault."
The late bell rang, signalling the time was 3:35, and I sighed in terrible sorrow. "I have to go."
"Now?"
"They said to be out before the late bell rang." We kissed long and hard, so passionate I wanted nothing more but to have him lock us in his classroom and do it on every single desk there. But I had to leave. "I'm sorry."
"I love you."
"Love you too," I said with eyes closed as we rested forheads again. "I'll miss you, Charlie."
"I'll miss you, too, baby."
And I had to leave, moping back to Bailey's car to have him demand angrily why I made him wait. He sounded a little like Austin.
I couldn't speak back. I was in pain, and if I spoke would cry again. I itched for my phone, to awake to those silly and annoying messages. I wasn't expecting things to have to be like they were.
I looked up eventually to see Bailey brought me to his place. I looked confused.
"I need to work and I won't have you at home alone." He said sternly.
I didn't gape like I wanted to, instead kept a calm expression, but continued to say nothing.
"Diana, what the fuck were you thinking?" He suddenly demanded, and I couldn't help but be surprised at how it was Bailey and Austin who were the most angry with me. Austin, I expected. Instead it was Chris who was kind enough to hear what I had to say. He was caring enough not to demand things of me.
"Answer me, goddammit." He snapped, coming close to a shout, and it was painful because it was Bailey.
"Bailey, leave her alone right now." His wife, Daphne, demanded of him walking out of the house, and he growled to her that it was none of her business.
"You're the stupid one if you think that being a jerk to her is going to get her to open up to you."
"I don't want her to open up to me, I wanna know what was going on in her pathetic mind that made her fuck my friend." Bailey was shouting now.
"If you just listened to me, you'd understand that it's more than that." I told him back in fury. My face felt red.
"Oh shut your mouth; you're using him. Chance is a blind bastard to think you love him. You think it's fun, Diana? To fuck around with mens feelings? I bet you didn't even give a shit about Andy Carl."
I couldn't say anything at that moment. I've never been so misunderstood until that moment, and it was the most frustrating thing, I had to get out of the car and run. I didn't know where the fuck I was going, but I felt I'd explode. I wanted to explode.
Bailey, of all people! It hurt to have him think of me like he did. I loved Andy. I loved him so much, and I loved Charlie as well. I didn't want to play with their feelings- I mean, Charlie did it to me, too. Kind of.
I remember the sound of his voice shouting after me as I sprinted out. It was like a freaking movie how I stepped underneath a rain cloud and was soaked in seconds, blindly running and half wishing I'd be run over by a car, but people weren't stupid. No one drove in such destructive weather.
I had no idea where I was going.
...
"Erin!" I cried when finding her house, seeing that I was closest to Martini St..
She looked confused as hell, but tugged me in immediately and told one of the workers in the house to grab me a warm towel.
"God, are you okay? What happened?"
And I told her, but didn't cry then. It was like I was all cried out and it actually felt good again not cry. Maybe I was crying, and it was just the rain that covered it up. I still don't think I was crying, though.
As I went on, Erin pulled me to her room and I was brought three towels, and a pair of silk pajamas. Erin had me snuggle into her bed and tell her everything while she listened, getting her cook to make popcorn with chocolate and caramel and salt and butter. I wasn't hungry either, not until I spoke to Erin and heard her comfort me kindly. She told me that it wasn't fair, and I agreed. Then she assured me that my brothers wouldn't tell the police. They were probably furious, and believed they'd probably do it, but they wouldn't. She had me take a nap until the popcorn was ready, and when I woke up, she had someone to get me a milkshake, and her cook made a pizza we shared.
"I'm sorry I just came without warning... they took my phone."
"Don't apologize, idiot." She said. "I'm glad you're here. I hate what's happened, but I'm glad you came to me."
I sulked in her room, and she ordered scary movies for us to watch and make fun of. I looked to her. "I really do love Andy, Erin. I do."
"I know that you do. Otherwise it wouldn't bother you so much for loving Mr. Grant."
"Thank you for understanding me." I told her.
She smiled, and we were bestfriends.