Can't believe the first part of this was from November 🤯
There is another (more mature) part to this story coming soon so stay tuned! For now here's the ✨drama✨
The problem with security work was that It gave me plenty of time alone with my thoughts, just thinking, and every time I looked at Mr Donnelly I was thinking about that kiss.
I liked to think, after working for him for so long that i knew he quite well. But for someone so open and caring, he was an extremely private person. I think he knew a hella lot more about me then I did about him, this was not only terrifying but left me with no way of knowing what that peck on the cheek meant.
It had been a whole week.
An entire week spent in his company and I was no closer to solving the puzzle. I think he actually liked it that way, there was this cheeky glint in his eyes that made me think maybe he was playing a game with my heart.
But then I remembered the family he went home to every night and knew he would never risk ruining paradise for someone like me.
I lifted the cigarette to my lips and turned my head so I didn't blow smoke into random passers by on the street.
I didn't smoke on the job if I could help it, but I 2 hours ago I was told to stand by the car until Declan had finished his meeting and the cravings had gotten a little unmanageable. I'd become bored out of my mind, keeping an eye out for anything suspicious but action was sparse this far from his usual business dealings. Despite my complaining, I knew the importance of the meeting to Mr Donnelly, so I didn't mind waiting aimlessly.
I walked over to the smoker bin by the building entrance, not even flinching at the burn on my finger tips as I drank in the last of the cigarette before stumping it out on the cold metal.
Of course in the exact moment that I left my post for the first time in the 2 hours, Declan stormed out of the building reaching the car and looking around for me, confused.
I swore and ran towards him he turned on me and winced. "God you stink of smoke."
The Critism hurt but it was fair and I accepted it, "I'm sorry, sir. Won't happen again."
"Whatever. just drive me home. That was a fucking disaster. Urgh." I tripped over myself opening the car door for him to jump into his usual space on the middle back seat before closing it and running around to the drivers side. Pulling away as soon as the engine was running.
The Rage was Rolling off the Young Business man, I could feel it bubbling in the back of the car and shifted, feeling helpless being so far away from him when I wanted to make it better.
"Are you okay, sir?" I asked, trying to catch his gaze in the rear view mirror but he was just angrily typing on his laptop.
"Do you know how many staff I have working under me Anthony?"
I was a little thrown off by his use of my full name but tried to think. I thought about how big his offices were but knew that was just his headquarters. His business was vast and complicated, i couldn't even grasp the scope of it.
"N-no, sir."
"2784. Do you know how many people I've had working on this project?"
"No sir." I mumbled again, i really didn't like to when he was mad.
"An 8th of my work force. That's over 300 people who have been working on securing this deal for just over 8 months now. You want to know what my job today was?"
I didn't get a chance to reply, he was already raging through the rhetorical question.
"My job was to take all their hard work and finalise it. To sell it to a small group of people who would ultimately decide the direction my company would expand in. And I blew it. I took all my employees time and effort to these people just to drop it at the last hurdle. So ask me again if I'm okay."
I didn't say a damn word, his temper was truly terrifying. In hind sight I could see how stupid my question was and didn't dare put myself back in the firing line.
I tried to think of something to make it better, but I knew nothing about running a business.
"My job in the military was to drive messages between ally camps." I started, glancing back to see if he was actually willing to listen, his eyes were averted but I could tell his ears were mine so I continued. "These were often days apart and through enemy territories. These messages were full of sensitive information, information that couldn't be written down or typed, information that meant life and death for my friends. Not every mission I ran was successful, I can't count the number of times I fucked it up. Took a wrong turn, ran out of fuel, left my uniform visible in the back of my truck, stayed at the wrong hotel; looked at the wrong guy; used the wrong pay phone. I actually rarely ever got a message in on time. There was always some kind of hiccup. But you know what?"
We stopped at a red light and when I glanced back this time, there were two attentive green eyes on me. "What?" He asked and I smiled at the calmness of his tone.
"No matter how behind target I became i never turned back. I always got the message there, not on time but in time- and that was all that mattered. You may want to close this deal so you can all relax. But no battle is won without a little hard work and there will always be one point where you think you are losing. But as long as you don't give up. You can't fail."
"I may have lost the battle... but I haven't lost the war." He muttered to himself and I smiled back at him.
"That's the spirit."
The smile he sent me in response meant I wasn't looking at the road nearly as much as I should have but I managed to park up by Dec's house through the glances I made in between watching the smaller man blush and the road as well as some solid muscle memory.
There wasn't a space outside his house or in his drive way because of a taxi parked in my spot so I'd parked a few spaces up the street, his front door still in view and I felt my heart plummet when it opened. Of course Dec's husband would be there to greet him as soon as he got back from work, i would if I was married to Dec, I'd have home cooked meals ready for him every day and wait up at night just so I could cuddle him as he fell asleep...
I caught myself getting carried away again and tried to resist the temptation to look at the small Geordie man I wanted more than anyone I'd met in my life.
Instead of showing my weakness, I stepped out of the car into the road, closing the door but stopping when out of the corner of my eye, I caught two figures stepping out of Mr Donnelly's home.
I figured the person with Henry must just be Dec's nanny or something so moved around to open the businessman's door but was confused when he didn't step out, his eyes were glaring daggers at his doorstep. I turned to watch, to figure out what was so interesting and my eyes bulged out of my head.
Right there on Dec's doorstep, was his husband, in a lip lock with a woman, his hands on her hips and pelvises pushed together.
I stepped in that direction, ready to throw hands but I was stopped by a hand on my arm.
"Please don't cause a scene."
"Come on hes doing that right in front of you! Ive got to say something!"
"Timmy's in the house Ant. It's best to stay quiet."
"But he— in front of your home... you were at work he..." I felt like he was blind, did he not just see what I saw?! Could he not see the woman skipping down his steps into a the taxi sat in my parking space?! Could he not see Henry stepping back into Dec's mansion and closing the door like nothing had happened.
"I know. I know he does. You don't need to protect me from this Ant."
I turned back to the older man with a determined glint in my eye and stated decidedly. "You deserve better."
I couldn't believe this. I thought Henry was perfect. I thought Dec's life was perfect. I thought he was happy. I had envied Henry so much when I met his family and he was taking it all for granted.
Dec looked down at his shiny shoes which were half way out the car now, he was sat on the edge of the seat after trying to hold me back.
"I don't know if you've noticed but I'm not home much. Henry is a stay at home dad and I get home and I'm too tired to... y'know... do anything with him. I'd try, I'd try really hard I just... I couldn't get into it when all I wanted was to sleep. One day he told me he'd been seeing other people. And if I didn't like it he would leave. I didn't want Timothy to lose his dad and I didn't want to give up on my business. So I agreed and cried myself to sleep in the spare room."
"I'm sorry... that's... it's sick... You sleep with other people too right?"
The small man fiddled with his wedding ring, twisting it uncomfortably around his finger. "I can't be caught cheating... it would ruin my reputation. My business is carried so heavily by my last name and my family man lifestyle. I'm still married. It has to stay that way." Suddenly, it was like a switch went off in his head and he looked up at me wide eyed, "I have no idea why I'm telling you this."
He grabbed his brief case and jumped past me out of the car.
"You can stay with me if you want."
I'd offered it before I could consider the pros and cons of the suggestion and definitely before I could predict his reaction. It was not a good one.
"And what will that achieve? The headlines write themselves: 'CEO Declan Donnelly feels very safe in Security Guards bed.' o-or 'Dec's bodyguard has got his six!' What about 'Hunky side piece's are the new husbands!' I'd be a laughing stock. Sex won't solve this one Anthony."
I stood there a little stunned.
"I Uh... I never said anything about sex."
Somehow even the birds went silent. I'm not sure how, but suddenly I was the one in trouble and I wasn't fast enough to avoid the advances of my boss's swinging brief case.
"Arsehole."
His briefcase was hard and hurt when it hit my arm.
He started off towards his house and I jogged to keep up, clutching my sore bicep.
"Hey that wasn't fair! I just meant if you didn't want to go in there... I can sleep on the sofa or..."
"Please! Just— just stop. Don't mistake this for something it's not. I'm fine the way things are and spending anymore time with you is simply not an option. It's not appropriate. I'm your boss."
"I was attracted to you long before I knew who you were."
Declan reached his security gate and being his bodyguard it only felt natural to me to open the gate wide for him. He gave me a quick side glare, stepping onto his front door steps and pausing for a second.
I regretted admitting how much I wanted him. It really wasn't the time or the place to be making a move but reading those types of social queues were not my strong suit and once again I found myself making a fool of myself in-front of the older man.
The gate closed once I stopped holding it and it acted like a barrier between us, between our two lives, between our two worlds even. I would never understand what it was like to be as rich and as successful as him, I'd never understand what it felt like to stay loyal to a man who constantly humiliated and belittled me and he would never understand what it felt like to be the guy punching so far above his weight, to be outclassed to an outrageous extent.
"Good Night Anthony. I'll see you in the morning."
The door slammed on me and I growled in frustration, my eyes watched the silhouettes in the illuminated hallway as Dec's small frame was pulled into a warm embrace by a tall, strong body. I followed the flickers of lights through the stain glass window of the door as the smaller man pushed his husband away and started up the stairs with his head down. My heart ached uncontrollably, i couldn't bare the thought of him being miserable and alone, i wanted to be there for him. I knew for a fact I could do a hella lot better at that job than his husband.
Then I reminded myself he was my boss, I shouldn't be getting involved. He was right, my job wasn't to protect him from his home life.
This wasnt my battle to fight, it was his.
»»»»»»»»»»»
The following day at work was a long one. Dec had been completely silent in the morning, wordlessly taking his coffee from me and stepping into the back of the car. His eyes were sunken and tired, while his rosy lips were etched in a permanent frown.
I wanted to say something, anything to help. But it felt a lot like every time I opened my mouth I just made things worse.
We walked into the office together, i kept my usual 2 strides behind the smaller man and held the door open for him to enter.
Mr Donnelly didn't even say Thankyou, just silently moved towards desk.
The silent treatment I could deal with. What I couldn't deal with was having to stand outside whilst he suffered alone, in silence. I would have felt better if he had at-least confided in Stevie, or phoned a family member. But from what I could tell from the occasionally peep through the blinds, was that he spent all day with his nose buried in his work, staring at the computer screen like a maniac.
It reached home time for everyone. I politely bid goodbye to all my work colleagues and took stevie's advice to heart when he said "Don't let him stay too late yeah?"
Evening time did not come along quickly, my body was in agony. I'd been stood in that same spot for far too long. Usually, when Dec was working this late he'd invite me in to protect him from his office sofas and we'd just talk about anything and everything. No such invitation had been extended and if anything that hurt more than being rejected the other night.
I was trying to be empathetic, I was sure he was hurting and maybe felt uncomfortable with how much I now knew about his personal life. But my feet were numb— in fact they'd stopped being numb about an hour ago and now they ached like nothing else.
I turned, wincing as my legs protested to the movement and peeked into his office once again.
I checked my watch.
Almost 1am. This was late even for him and he was still buried in a bunch of paper work. I sighed, deciding if I didn't do something I could very well be stood there all night and i knocked on the door.
There was no reply.
I tried to be as quite as possible, tucking myself into his large office and closing the door behind me.
"Better be important Anthony." He grumbled, not looking up from his paper work.
"It's late."
"I'm aware of that."
"Are you aware how late?"
He looked up at his clock and I caught the way his eyes widened, he shook his head, resuming his work.
"It doesn't matter."
"It does. You're exhausting yourself on purpose."
"If you're tired you can go home."
I was a patient person, but it had been a damn long day and the attitude felt unwarranted. He knew full well why I wouldn't leave him but I certainly didn't want to stick around to watch him work himself to death.
Knowing i was playing a dangerous game, I strode across this office, pushed the lid of his computer closed and plucked his pen right out of his hand.
Mr Donnellys expression was one of pure shock which soon morphed into anger.
"Hey!! Give that back!"
"No." I pushed the pen into my back pocket and suddenly, the smaller man was up out of his chair, striding around the desk.
"Give it back!"
All of his 5ft 6 wasn't particularly threatening even when he was right up in my space trying to reach around my body to get it back.
"Come on Ant I need to finish this."
"No you don't, you need to go home. To rest."
"What do you know about running my business?! Just give it back and return to your post."
"Make me."
"I can fire you instead."
The smirk was wiped straight from my face and I sobered up, defeated immediately and I handed back the pen.
Declan took it smugly and sat back at his desk, happy to have won whilst I just felt an uncomfortable ache in my chest. That had been a real low blow.
I stood there for a moment, my head down and resigned to the knowledge I was about to spend another couple of hours stood outside his door in silence.
The atmosphere had an uncomfortable, sticky awkwardness to it and I decided that was my queue to leave.
Until the boss spoke.
"You know I wouldn't actually fire you... right?"
I let out a huff, glaring at him with a look that read. We both know I'm replaceable.
The millionaire sighed, sitting back in his seat and frowning.
"I don't want to do go home." He stated and I snorted.
"No shit."
The older man shot me a glare.
"Look I told you, you are always welcome at mine."
"I can't do that. I told you why I can't do that."
I huffed, "Fine then you can't afford a hotel for the night? You have to stay at the office working yourself to death?!"
"At least I'm getting work done."
"You're punishing yourself."
"Maybe I deserve to be punished."
I balled my hands into fists of rage and they caught Dec's attention, he watched them out of the corner of his eye as I replied, "If anyone deserves to be punished it's him. Not you."
Dec sat back, those intelligent green eyes flicking up to my face with a curious tilt of his head, "Oh and you'd be the one to punish him would you?"
I shrugged, "Given the chance."
A smirk slipped onto the older man's not so innocent features and I got a bit hot under the collar from the way he studied me. He looked at me the way an ancient Roman master might when choosing a new gladiator for their ring.
"You know if i met you outside of your profession I wouldn't have had you down as the violent type."
"I wouldn't say I am violent sir."
"Really? What would you call it?"
I held my head high, looking straight ahead out the window into the vastness of the city below, out into a country I'd dedicated years of my life to serve.
"Protective." I mumbled, gaining confidence in my answer and looking down at the shorter man, "i think I'm just protective."
In response he actually huffed and rolled his eyes.
"What?" I questioned, fighting the urge to sassily move my hands from their disciplined position behind my back to my hips.
He watched me suspiciously, his curiousness now turning to distrust. I couldn't even figure out what red flags I might've given off
"There's got to be something wrong with you. Ya can't be perfect."
"I'm an alcoholic." I shrugged and with the discretion of a hen party, Mr Donnelly choked on a laugh using his hand to cover his smile.
"I shouldn't laugh at that." He stated.
"No you shouldn't." I agreed but my smile was impossible to hold back when the corners of his adorable grin pushed out from behind his fist.
When he finally recovered, Declan was trying to dig himself out of the whole. "You are recovered now though so is it really a flaw?"
"I'll be totally honest, sir. There's no such thing as a completely recovered alcoholic. You could be sober for years and still think about it every day. But that's not my only flaw."
"Oh yeah? What are the others?"
I shrugged, "Me to know and you to find out."
"You got a little dick?"
A laugh hit me and it shifted to a smirk at my response, "like I said, you to find out."
"Asshole." He huffed, randomly organising papers on his desk.
"You can find out about that too if you want."
"I thought we were passed you hitting on me."
I shrugged, my senses getting lost in the thrill of the game, "That was until I discovered your husbands a douchebag. You should be with someone who appreciates you."
"With all due respect Anthony you hardly know me. What makes you think you'd appreciate me?"
"I do know you."
"No you don't."
"I know that you're not actually a morning person, you use caffeine so you can pretend to be. Or at least to stop you yelling at people for asking you how you are in the morning. I know you're disorganised as hell and you'd be lost without Stephen and his meticulous filing, your socks are always odd which is why you never cross your legs in meetings. I know you have a fake laugh and a real laugh, I know you don't drink with other people around but you'll more than happily have a few at the office. I reckon you like alcohol, and you don't mind yourself when you drink it but you don't trust other people. Even people you've been friends with for years. I know you lick your lips when you're excited but bite them when you're anxious. Henry doesn't like it. That's why for your birthday every year he buys you a chapstick in banana flavour which you hate in hopes you'll stop but you don't use them, you keep them here at work and regift them to some unlucky worker in the company hampers.... I could go on."
By the time I was finished showing off, I was leaning over him, both hands braced either side of him on his office chair, catching the reflection of my smirk in his shocked green eyes.
"So you see Mr Donnelly... I do know you. A lot more than you'd like to believe."
His green eyes flickered between mine and as he studied me intently, I had a hard time keeping up with them. It felt like in a split second he was able to analyse our positions and everything about me.
"So you know me so well and you still want me?"
I scoffed, "Is that so hard to believe?"
"Maybe." He looked down, in one of those rare moments where the confident, successful CEO seemed insecure and he struggled, "Specially after you saw with Henry... t-that I'm a bad husband. T-that I'm not got enough."
It was laughable. Declan Donnelly was a millionaire. He was the owner of a massive company he'd built from the ground up. He was educated, healthy, had a beautiful home and a gorgeous child, he was rich enough to hire his own personal driver. Me? I was that driver. I was a washed up military veteran with no money and only one skill worth something in the civilian world. And that was a skill almost every teenager learnt to do on their 17th birthday.
"Look Mr Donnelly, when we first met, you knew how I felt about you. I knew I was punching above my weight and I didn't pursue anything because I didn't want to come between your perfect family. I'm sad that someone's treated you badly, but I'm also really happy because even thought you're still light years out of my league. Atleast I can try now."
He avoided my gaze like he still didn't believe me, so I got on one knee in front of him, as though i was proposing. From there I took his chin in my hand, forcing our eyes to meet. "You've not lost your worth just because one dickhead took you for granted."
"Look Dec..." I took both his hands in mine, shifting onto both knees cause I may as well be begging him to give me a chance. "I know full well that the worth of a man is measured by the bread he can put on the table... and fuck knows any bread I'm putting on my table right now is stale. But I want you to give me a shot. I could never amount of half the success you have but I could do a right good job of showing you exactly how perfect you are. I'd do anything you asked of me, I think you know I would y—"
"Ant." He squeezed my hands tightly with a small laugh, "this is very sweet but will you shut up for one second and let me think?"
I hadn't realised I'd been rambling like a lunatic, I dropped my head with a bashful, "Sorry, sir." and waited whilst he considered my proposition. In fact through all my nervous chatter, I'm not even sure I proposed anything to him. I was sure he could read between the lines though, I was sure he could look at me on his knees for him and know that I was offering myself up. Completely.
After a minutes of waiting I grew restless and impatient, my eyes glanced up at him bravely and were shooting straight back down to my lap when I realised he'd been sat back in his seat this whole time, just watching me.
His usual air of confidence was restored, i think perhaps my literally begging of him to lower his standards for me might've had something to do with that.
Instead of looking down, lost and self loathing, his head was high and proud, his posture relaxed and legs spread languidly. My eyes flickered up once again, only reaching as high as his crotch before my head was bowed again.
I wasn't scared of Declan Donnelly. But I was certainly scared of the rejection I felt was doomed to come my way.
"Somehow you've ended up on your knees Anthony?" I sensed teasing coming along, but was surprised when I was met with only a simpler question. "Do you like it there?"
I looked up fast, trying not to look too pathetic as I searched his eyes desperately for an explanation. He leant forward and reached out, "I know you're about to overthink it, just— don't, please— Just answer the question"
His hand in my hair had me falling in love. I closed my eyes with a content sigh. Fuck didn't I have a job to do or something? A question. Hed asked me a question...
It took me a second to focus, it was hard to believe everything that was happening. I remembered his question and swallowed thickly. I tried not to overthink it like he said and looked him directly when I nodded.
A smile lifted to his features. "It doesn't offend your masculinity? I'm smaller than you and you're the one knelt. Does doing what I say not make you mad?"
I blinked, deeply confused by what seemed to be a genuine question, "No... I-if I was uncomfortable taking your orders I wouldn't have this job would I? I told you I'd do anything for you."
He was the first to dive forward and after that I have no idea who was kissing who. As our lips met in a needy kiss, our hands finally got the chance to explore each other. I got lost in a the battle of dominance, it was one I was losing because it was so damn hard to focus with his hand twisted around my tie, using it to pull me up to him.
He pulled away first, but he hadn't lost control, he held me there, panting down at me with a glimmer of surprise in his sparkling green eyes it was hard to breathe in our positions but the lightheadedness was a welcome relief from my racing thoughts.
I was held by the end of my tie waiting for him to speak, more than willing to suck him off under the desk like some kind of office slut if he wanted me too.
"Take me to the car."
I was cut lose, he let go of my tie and I stumbled off balance, only catching myself on my elbow which I have no doubt was his intention because he stood over me, pulling on his suit jacket and waited silently for me to pick myself up off the floor.
"Does this mean..." I mumbled, unsure if he'd now tried me and liked what he tasted or if I should be preparing myself for another night alone nursing a pot noodle.
"I don't know yet." He breathed tensely, "I need to think— I-I'm sorry."