Lia
"I can't believe we're going trick or treating." Xavier sighs, fixing his black wings.
"Isn't it a little sus?" Zack tightens his hold on Nolee's hand.
"It's a lot of sus." Xavier answers back, laying his head against mine in an adorable manner. His arm is around my shoulders, tugging me into him.
"Who cares? Halloween is for everyone, not just snotty little annoying kids." Blair cheerfully says, her fairy wings glittering in the darkness of the night.
It's Halloween.
And us girls made a plan to go trick or treating. The boys (Zack and Xavier) were not as enthusiastic as us but they eventually succumbed after we (Nolee and I) offered them, our respective men, sex.
Men are simple creatures.
Hudson isn't here tonight. And I can tell the boys are missing him as well as a certain social butterfly, but she won't admit it. Nolee and I were on board with Hudson giving her space and all but seeing our best friend slowly lose that light that makes her, her, is hard and almost made us drag Hudson to her and make him beg for her forgiveness.
But Blair needs this. They need this.
What Hudson did was bad.
"Wait." Nolee suddenly says and everyone stops.
We're walking along Mulberry Avenue where all of Lake Bellevue's fraternities are. Every Frat house and the entire neighborhood is decorated to the hilt and it's amazing.
She grabs her phone and runs to stand in front of us.
"We need a picture."
Zack chuckles. Xavier rolls his eyes but he pulls me in front of him, hugging me around the waist. Zack grabs Blair and puts his arm around her.
Nolee takes the picture.
But she doesn't stop there.
We take at least twenty photos before Zack nearly tackles her.
"One last one, I promise." She coos, sweetly.
Blair and I are cool with her taking a million photos because that's just Nolee but the poor guys have fallen victim to her.
Blair hugs Zack's midriff. Xavier is crouched down in front of me, and my hands are in his, resting on his shoulders. She's about to take the photo when her smile falters as her eyes go behind us.
We all look and the tension slowly grows.
"Hey." Hudson awkwardly waves, his eyes looking at all of us before locking onto Blair.
Hudson's dressed in blue jeans and a white t-shirt but his fairy wings are the same as Blair's but in pink. And even though he hasn't gone all out with his costume, he still looks a part of tonight.
I look at my girl and her face is stricken with anger, sadness, and most importantly longing. She's missed him. But I know Blair, she won't let her weakness show.
"I know I'm supposed to be giving you space but," he takes a step toward Blair, "I promised you that I'll be with you on Halloween."
Blair doesn't say anything as she stares at him. For a moment we think she's going to curse him out and start beating him up but the girl wordlessly turns around and looks at Nolee.
"Come on, Rumi, take your picture." Blair playfully says.
Xavier and I exchange a look. Hudson comes to stand next to Blair and Nolee is about to take a photo when Zack says wait.
"Hey, man," Zack hollers at some random guy who's dressed as a The Grinch, "Could you take a picture of us?"
The Grinch saunters over, in character.
"I canceled dinner with myself for this." He takes the phone from Nolee with a grunt.
I giggle. Nolee runs to Zack and hugs him.
The Grinch snaps a few photos for us before Nolee goes to him and thanks him.
"Yeah, whatever, I gotta go wrestle with my self-loathing now." And off he goes, still in character. He's a mood.
We girls look through the photos as the boys follow behind. Everyone looks so good in their costumes.
Nolee looks like a seductive witch in her black dress, gloves, and hat.
Zack chose to go as a grim reaper and I helped paint his sculpted face in a skull. He looks hot.
Blair looks ethereal in her powder blue dress that she made herself and her blue glittery wings.
Xavier and I chose to go as angels—him the dark angel and me the light angel.
There are so many people in spooky costumes. There's laughter and screams and even creepy Halloween music playing from somewhere but it's loud enough to bubble the entire neighborhood in the vibe.
We don't waste time and start trick or treating. It's so fun. The amount of candy—especially brownies—we're getting is worrying. I'm not even going to touch those brownies but Zack and Hudson are having the time of their lives with them. Even Blair.
Hudson and Blair seem almost too calm around each other but I know that they're just being considerate of their friends. If they were alone, poor Hudson would be crying. Not that he won't deserve it.
The hockey frat house is the funniest with nearly every dude dressed as a Disney princess. I nearly pee from how hard I'm laughing but Zack doesn't miss the opportunity and takes photos. Several. He's friends with the captain of the hockey team so I know Zack is going to torment the poor guy come tomorrow and for the rest of his life.
The football frat house is the most rambunctious. It's the party house. Food, alcohol, scandalous games. We decide to stay.
Zack and Nolee disappear immediately, leaving no room for guesses about what they're going to be doing. Xavier and I grab some drinks and find an empty couch. Blair sits on the couch opposite us and is telling us about one of the sorority houses that have been transformed into a haunted house when Hudson walks in.
"Blair, can we talk, please?" Hudson asks her.
Blair looks at me, and even though she looks like she doesn't care, her eyes are glimmering in uncertainty.
"We have nothing to talk about." She dismisses him but Hudson is persistent.
She agrees to give him five minutes and off they go.
"Pray for him." I playfully say to Xavier who chuckles and kisses my neck.
Blair
"You look pretty." Hudson compliments me with an uncharacteristic nervous voice.
Emotions clog my throat but I refuse to shed any more tears for this guy. It's been over a week since it happened and each day has gotten more difficult to be without him.
What he did to me was so disrespectful and disgusting. For a naive reason, I wish he'd done what he did when he wasn't inside me then maybe I would've been able to look at this whole thing objectively.
Every time I think about it, my chest aches in not only betrayal but frustration too. The one time I let my guard down and confess my feelings for a man, this is what I get. I guess I had it coming. My girls warned me and yet I didn't listen. My stupid heart didn't listen. It was enthralled by Hudson's baby blue eyes and flirtatious smiles and flattering words.
Now, I don't know what to do. I still have feelings for him but I can't get back into what we had as if nothing happened. I need space. And time.
What hurts is that he was probably sleeping with other girls whilst he was sleeping with me. I've never had a problem with open relationships before, I've been in lots, but he was different to me. I didn't sleep or even think about another guy whilst I was with Hudson. That only shows that this whole thing has been one-sided.
I've been the naive, stupid girl who let the fuckboy play her.
"What are you wearing?" I ask, eyeing his clothes and those stupid wings.
Hudson's cheeks blush.
"What you and I planned on, remember. You told me that you were going as a fairy and you wanted me to go like one too, so I did—kind of. I couldn't do the makeup stuff, sorry, but I've got the wings," he nervously smiles, "I made a promise."
My heart swells. Why does he do this? Act so sweet and considerate and adorable. And the fact that he kept our promise that we had made weeks before. Ugh.
I look away in a panic because I feel tears prick my eyes.
God, if I cry, my makeup will be ruined and I did not spend four hours doing it only to let it be ruined by a man.
"Blair." Hudson softly says my name.
I gulp and blink, taking a breath and then looking at him.
"What do you want, Hudson?"
"I want to explain—"
"There's nothing to explain, Hudson. You said another girl's name when your dick was inside me," I say exasperatedly, "I don't need a bullshit excuse that you think I will forgive you for. I'm not stupid or naive, Hudson. I know guys like you. You're nothing but unfaithful idiots."
I've been with guys like him. They're selfish, conceited, and dickheads. What attracted me to them was their appearance—yeah, I'm shallow but I don't care—and the fact that they had dicks. Sex was all I cared about.
Until he happened.
And now I wish my dumb heart didn't cross the invisible line of wanting something more with a man.
Hudson frowns in regret.
"You're right, I have no excuse. There is no explanation for what I did. It was disgusting, disrespectful, and hurtful to you," he looks so sad, "I wish I could turn back time so I wouldn't have ruined the best thing in life. I'm so sorry. So fucking sorry for what I did."
I look away from his eyes because they're affecting me like they always do.
He sounds genuinely sorry for what he did but an apology can't fix what happened. I can't just go back to him. I have self-respect and love myself more before anyone else—let alone a man.
"You not only said someone else's name, but you also ignored my confession. I told you I liked you and you didn't even say anything. Who does that? You know what, I'm the stupid one. My best friends warned me about you but I still didn't listen," I bite my lower lip as I stare at him, "I thought I knew what I was doing with you but I guess I was wrong. I should've known you're not capable of liking anything other than your dick and yourself."
"Blair—"
"Tell me something," I interrupt him, wanting to ask him what's been bothering me, "Were you sleeping with other girls when we were?"
Hudson tenses and the guilty look in his eyes is all I need as an answer.
My heart drops.
I turn around.
"Blair—"
I wrench my wrist away from his hold.
"Stay away from me, Hudson."