Sunday: 1:15 P. M.
------------------
"Hey, it's me!" the familiar deep voice exclaims. "Sshhh! It's me."
The broomstick falls from my hand and I swivel around to come face to face with a familiar pair of hazel eyes set in a pale oval face and flickering under the lights.
The man before me, holding tightly onto my wrist, isn't wearing anything except for the white bathtowel which is successful at concealing his private area without revealing too much, other than the brim of his pubic hairs.
His top half is glistening under the water droplets which settle on his skin.
"Jesus Christ, Odaine!" I shout, while silently thanking God I didn't call him the name that's at the tip of my tongue. "You a guh kill mi?"
He pulls me to him.
I release the breath I'd been holding and fall against his chest.
He chuckles and the sound vibrates against my temple.
"Dude, why are you so frightened?" he asks, through a grin.
I shake my head against him still, silently willing my heartbeat to calm down. At the rate that it's currently beating, it's as if it plans on bursting my chest plate wide open.
The shower, which is still running, catches my attention and I look toward the door. "Who's in there?" I ask meekly, still out of breath.
I can feel the gravelly sensation in my throat, I'm guessing because of how I'd screamed a while ago, and I clear my throat and swallow hard on a bit of saliva in an effort to soothe the discomfort.
He lets me go and walks around me to the door. I follow behind him but stand at the open door while he goes further inside.
The bathroom is empty, but the shower is on and the steam from the hot water fogs the glass enclosure.
Odaine slides the glass door open and turns the water off. "I heard the front door open and wanted to know if it was you, since I didn't see you when I came in, but I forgot to turn the water off in my haste," he says, turning around to face me now.
I raise a brow. Oh.
"Who did you expect?" he asks, as if sensing my mood.
I don't know. But I was about to find out.
"Nothing," I lie. "I was just surprised, because I didn't know you were here. When did you come?"
He walks over to me and I turn, catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror.
Kacka fart, the hickey them!
My head turns so quickly, I swear I pull a neckstring. But I'm glad when I see that my hair covers the spots.
Odaine, coming closer to me now, comes up to me and I sidestep him.
He pulls back and frowns. "A while ago," he says hesitantly, watching me. "Literally a few minutes before you got in."
"By the way, where have you been?" he adds, looking me over from head to toe.
Shit, I just remembered that I'm still wearing Lucas' shirt...and underpants.
Rasshole now...
Shit!
Mek up sum'n...
"Oh, I went running," is the first thing that I can think of.
He furrows his thick brows. "Running? You? Why?"
Lucas knows I'm the least bit athletic.
Okay, we've come too far with this lie to back out now. Say...
"I don't even know," I say and chuckle. "I was just here, bored out of my mind and decided to go for a run. Just a five minute run to the end of Stilwell Road. Not too far."
Thank God, my car was left here on Saturday night, so I think my excuse can pass.
Hopefully.
Or else, shit is about to hit the fan.
In fuck loads.
"Hmm....interesting," he says now and I'm grateful that he doesn't push it. Whether or not he buys it, is another story.
Odaine comes towards me again and I sidestep him.
Each time he moves forward, I step to the side.
He bites down on the side of his bottom lip and clenches his jaws. "Are you OK?"
I smile. Of course! Just don't want you to see something you have no business seeing, is all.
"Yea," I say instead.
He regards me skeptically. "O...K...then!"
"So, did you finish showering?" I say in an attempt to change the subject and lighten the awkward mood.
Odaine turns and walks past me. "Yea."
Using a smaller towel, he dries his hair while he walks. I notice how much it had grown out.
He's lucky he has nice hair, else it would seem like a mop.
I follow him into the bedroom. My bags are packed already for my return home tomorrow and are set down by the dresser.
He notices them. "What's this?" he asks, turning to face me.
I sit on the bed slowly, careful not to cause my hair to move much. "I'm going home."
His eyes widen. "When? Why?"
Like you care.
"Tomorrow. Because..." I tell him simply.
"Because?"
"Just because."
What more do you want to hear?
"But I just got here," he says, throwing the towel over his shoulder and leaning against the dresser.
Wow. So?
I'm not the one who told you not to get here sooner.
Like...from Saturday night.
But aren't you glad he didn't though? I mean, you wouldn't have gotten a chance with Lucas.
Lucas. Right...
It doesn't matter now though. That's over.
Is it?
Yes. You saw it for yourself.
"I miss my parents," I tell him the partial truth. "Plus, I already promised them that I'd come home on Monday."
"But a promise can be broken," he says pointedly.
The hell!
Is he suggesting that I disappoint my parents to spend time with him, when he couldn't disappoint his job to spend time with me?
Mussi lick yuh head pon a big stone to bomboclaat.
Boy backup!
It's my time to frown now. "Like you broke the one to me and your father last night?"
He groans and hisses his teeth under his breath. "Don't start."
And the Odaine I've gotten used to is back. Took you long enough.
I narrow my eyes and glare at his stupid face. "Don't start what?"
He sighs. "Doing what you do best. Digging in. Just not letting anything go. With the constant fucking back and forth, back and forth. The persistent nagging and holding grudges.
"I'm so sick of it. So sick of arguing with you about everything and nothing."
No man. Then this real?
This must be another episode of 'Jamaica Is Not A Real Place' to rawtid.
I can feel the heat in my cheeks and know that my face has gone red. My temples are pounding and my blood boils. "Who's arguing, Odaine?"
Yuh should a say jankro!
He rolls his eyes. "You are!" he says, raising his voice. "Over foolishness!"
Foolishness?
Seriously?
This really a get out of hand, now!
I spring to my feet and match his stance, folding my hands over my chest. My hair pulls back slightly, but I don't give a damn if he wants to see the hickeys or not. I'm too upset now.
"You not caring about my feelings. You disrespecting me...constantly. Ignoring me. Spending more time doing your job than spending it with me--your girlfriend --is foolishness?"
Saying it out loud makes me realize how insulting his actions are towards me.
He moves away from the dresser to stand by the bed. "Why are you like this? You're blowing this out of proportion!"
Of course. It's what I do. It's my frigging specialty at this point!
Right.
"To express to you how I feel?" I hiss.
Why am I even getting all worked up over this clown?
He isn't worth it.
It just annoys the hell out of me, having him here pointing fingers and classing me like this.
Fuck he thought?
Mi a soft soap or something?
That he'd just disappear for weeks on end, and come back and I wouldn't feel any way about it?
That I'd just welcome him with wide open arms and fling the pussy on him... Why? Because it's raining? Because he's earned it?
Which pussy?
Certainly not mine.
Not when he doesn't even appreciate the privilege...
A bay, a that's why mi gi weh the pussy!
"More like how you're going about it," he retorts.
If I could slap that smug look off of his face, I would.
"I'm my own person, Odaine, and I'm allowed to have feelings. To have things that upset me," I tell him pointedly. "I don't only have to always think and do things the way you want me to. I'm not a puppet!"
He sighs again. "I didn't say that!"
"Then what are you saying?" I shout. "You're a big boy, speak clearly so that I can understand then!"
I shouldn't need to be dissecting his words like morse codes.
I sigh and mentally count to ten to calm my nerves.
When has my life gotten this...sad?
I really don't understand.
We had so many good months together. So many plans and aspirations. Now, we can't even hold a mature conversation without arguing like idiots.
Why?
It's frustrating. To say the least.
He looks at me with sad eyes and sighs for the hundredth fucking time. "I just don't think a relationship should be this hard," he says so low I almost miss it.
His tone tugs at my heart which speeds up its beat in my chest.
What is he saying?
Is he breaking up with me?
I move to touch him but he dodges it. "Yea, I don't think I can do this anymore. Not like this."
I guess he is.
The realization hits me like a dumper truck and I stumble two steps backwards.
"Odaine --" I start to say...
Before he cuts me off saying, "No, Amanda. It's just how it is."
I suddenly feel like crying, farting, belching and shitting at the same damn time.
Mumma, try nuh have 'body come dung' now eno!
I look at him. Really look at the man standing before me, acting as if he hasn't just cut my heart open with a two-edged sword.
Who are you?
The man you once were, the one I fell in love with, would've spat in your fucking face for talking to me like that.
But that's it; the man you were. Not are.
You were someone.
You were a man. The man.
That guy, the one who had principles...and a backbone.
The man who cared for me, respected me...loved me.
Once upon a time.
Now you're just a hallow shell.
Man frame.
Man scrapses.
An ignorant son-of-a-bitch who doesn't have the guts to man up and take charge. To take responsibility for his actions.
To at least admit when he's fucking wrong.
What changed?
Do I even want to find out?
I feel like it'll just be a waste of my damn time.
Him a give yuh bun...
I push the thought to the back of my mind, as I don't want to even go there.
Yes you do. Now, you won't feel so guilty about fucking on him. Call it bun fi bun and done. Him already a lef yuh...
"Do you have someone else?" I find myself asking before I can stop the words from exiting my mouth.
I immediately regret the question.
As, do I really even want to know the answer?
You might not, but I do. Because if is ever with one bwoy, which I don't put too far from them nowadays man yah, mi burn dung this rass yah! Hear that batty-fucker!
When they ask, what are you in for, I'll just say, "I destroyed an aquarium by accident."
Woiii! Nuh pay mi nuh mind yawh...
Affi take bad things make joke!
But yuh know seh a true though girl! Pree the shwepps. Which man can have a sexy gyal like you and nuh want fuck out yuh brains everyday...and show yuh off to him friend them? All of a sudden.
Is either two things: either him have a next gyal, or...must be a fish.
He sighs. "That's it with you, babe..."
Don't fucking babe me!
You lost that privilege a minute ago.
I roll my eyes. "What's with me?"
"You always make time to come up with some stupid accusations to make a mountain out of nothing."
"Is that so?" I say tersely.
Even to the last, he's always finding some fault with me.
The fuck.
Not today, Satan!
"I asked a simple question, Odaine!" I hiss. "One I think I have all right to ask!"
"There's no one else," he finally says, so low it seems like a sigh.
I fold my arms across my chest. So if there's no one else, what is it then? "Could've fooled me."
He looks at me, narrowing his hazel eyes into slits. "Why must it always be someone else? Have I ever given you the impression that I'd ever cheat on you?"
Not before. But since these past couple of days, yes!
I say nothing.
He walks over to me and attempts to cup my face in his palms.
I sidestep him.
He frowns. "Amanda--"
"Don't call my fucking name out of your mouth!" I shout, cutting him off.
I can feel myself getting angry. Well, angrier.
"Amanda," he says pointedly. "Stop being this way."
Pussyhole.
Batty boy.
Likkle cocky bitch!
"What? Am I being whiny again? Selfish? Annoying? Childish?"
He stomps his feet like the little bitch he is and I jump at the suddenness of it.
Now who's childish? Throwing a temper tantrum like the little sissy you are.
"Because you just lost all right to give a damn!" I hiss.
Break up with who?
Yah idiot!
Suck yuh madda too!
I turn on my heels and start to pack the rest of my things.
He walks behind me. "It makes no sense to continue this game."
Game!
Father, if yuh nuh busy look yah. 'Cause if yuh nuh hold mi tongue today yah! Heaven doors lock pon mi fi good.
"We've been disconnected for months," he continues. "It's time to call it what it is. I've been thinking about our future these past days, and the more I do, is the more I think this won't work. I can't ever give you the time you need, not with my new role at work and all. And I think it's unfair to continue to string you along."
Now yuh have a conscience?
After two whole rassclaat years?
Yuh better stop chat hear!
He continues, with a pathetic, "You'll find someone else. Even better than me. I know it."
Already did.
"Just not me," he adds, standing right behind me.
I turn around to face him and he jumps. "I swear to God, Odaine, if you say one more piece of bullshit to me, mi thump yuh ina yuh bloodclaat mouth!"
Nah ask Christ!
He knows I will.
He's always been under the impression that Deidre is a bad influence on me, but I'm positive he'd find out just how much of a raging bitch I can be by myself, today.
He holds his hands up in surrender and I step around him and grab my bag.
Slinging it over my shoulder I check to see if I have everything before exiting the room and bolting down the stairs, two at a time.
"Amanda, don't leave like this..." I hear him call out as I reach the foot of the staircase.
I turn and flip him the middle finger. "Fuck you, Odaine!"
Which is right!
When I go to pick up my food from the counter, I only now notice the takeout bag and two juices from Juice It beside it.
So it was him that I saw leaving Manor Park then?
Well...
Him lucky him never see you and Lucas. Give him a taste of his own medicine.
The rain pelts down on the paved balcony floor, splashing lightly on me as soon as I step through the door.
It's pouring like a thunderstorm out here, but I won't retreat. Not with everything that just happened.
My mind is reeling. What a day has today been.
What started out as a beautiful morning, has quickly taken a 180 degree turn.
Just think about it; two men have rejected me in less than a day.
Am I that repulsive?
Of course not.
Then what is the reason?
I don't pressure my brain to find out. It's too late now.
Lucas is already mad at me for whatever reason.
Now, Odaine decides to up and dump me.
What am I to do now?
Where am I to go?
Home.
But if I show up suddenly, my parents will want to know what happened. And I'm not ready for that to happen. To give my mother the satisfaction of saying, "I told you so."
Call Lucas then...
He'll understand.
I think he likes you. Really.
He does?
Then why did he say that about me?
I don't know, but it's not that pressing.
Plus, what about Jessica?
Wha do yuh miss? To hell with Jessica.
Go fiyuh man!
Isn't it too soon to move on?
I literally just got out of a relationship two minutes ago.
That ship has sailed aeons ago. Was just waiting on you to play catch up.
Furthermore, one man's loss is another man's treasure.
Odaine can go chuck off of a cliff as far as I see it.
You deserve better.
Call the yute!
Dweet!
Whipping out my phone, I wipe the water droplets from the screen. With trembling fingers, I press the digits on the screen and bring the phone to my ears.
After a few seconds, the phone connects.
Before the person on the line has a chance to say anything, I rush out with a, "Can I come and spend the night with you?"