Silence lingers in the room. It wasn't that comfortable silence it once was. This was deeper. This one hurt. I knew she had heard something, how much she heard, only time will tell by now. But I honestly couldn't bring myself to speak. She's still standing somewhat by the door, I had taken a seat on the bench Ducky and I were sitting on. It's been at least 10 minutes of us just glancing at us, or well me glancing to her and her staring at me.
"Alycia-"
"Is that how you really feel?" Alycia cuts me off finally dropping her gaze from mine. I run my hand over my face and shrug.
"How much did you hear?" I respond back with a question.
"Mostly all of it..." Alycia's voice trails off and I nod looking to the ground briefly before looking back up to the green eyed girl. "You know my feelings for you, Y/N... They're not going to change."
I stand up from the bench nodding my head. "I know-"
"Do you? Because right now it seems like you're questioning everything just because a girl who's supposed to be dead is alive and manipulating you," Alycia cuts me off and I clench my jaw, staying quiet. "Like, I get it. You were a fan, you are a fan but you know what feelings are Y/N. You've felt real love before with Daisy-"
"I don't even know if that was real Alycia, just like I don't know if this-" I pause and point between me and the Australian. "If this is real."
"Bullshit!" Alycia shouts walking closer towards me, our eyes staying locked. "You know Y/N! You know deep down and you're trying to make it seem like you don't because you're scared! Because you have something good and now you're using Daisy's words as an excuse to go and mess it all up!"
"I'm not trying too mess it up Alycia, but if you really think about it, truly truly think about kt, Daisy has a point. Is this real or is it what I want it to be?" Silence fills the room as Alycia stops in front of me, our eyes staying firmly lock as she picks up her hands and cups my face in them. I reach my hands up and wrap my fingers around her wrists shaking my head.
"I want you to look me in the eye and tell me you don't feel something right now," Alycia whispers, her eyes flickering back and forth between mine. I remain quiet continuing to shake my head. Alycia's jaw clenches and shakes her head leaning in and locking our lips. I feel the softness of her lips against my own. I couldn't even stop my eyes from closing kissing her back. But just as fast as she kissed me she pulls away, our foreheads leaning against one another.
"Tell me that wasn't real. Tell me that you didn't feel anything with that..."
I shake my head, sinking my teeth into my bottom lip, gently glancing away from her eyes.
"I do feel it Alycia," I whisper closing my eyes. "I feel all sorts of things but-"
"No there's no but. You know how you feel here-" Alycia pauses and I feel her hand leave my cheek and placed over my heart. "Listen to your heart not your head. Your head is playing tricks on you, just like she is."
"Alycia-" I pause opening my eyes feeling myself getting dizzy like. When my eyes open I pick my head up moving it from Alycia's forehead, our eyes locking. Concern yet also love is placed in her eyes and she nods her head up and down before wrapping her arms around me engulfing me into a hug. I close my eyes and wrap my arms around her, squeezing her tightly but not too tight.
"It's okay..." She whispers adding. "I love you and I always will."
"I-I-" I couldn't form the words, nodding my head squeezing my eyes together tightly still holding onto her, feeling her arms still around me before darkness slowly takes over me.
<<<<>>>>
"...I love you," I say jolting up. My eyes pop open and my eyes glance around the somewhat familiar room. Lights hung around the room, off of course. A collection of Polaroids hung on string on the wall to my left where a desk and a bunch of notebooks sat. I tilt my head slowly looking around the room spotting clothes spread out, a closet to my right, somewhat open. A fancy suit hanging on the dresser next to it, but the thing about the suit was it was black and I don't remember it.
A couple soft knocks erupt from in front of me. Swiftly my head turns and my eyes lock with Rovvie who stands in the door way, his eyes sad as he wears a black suit. I let my eyes trail him before seeing a folded piece of paper in his hands.
"It's time kid," he says, clenching his jaw. I tilt my head as he glances from me to my suit. "You got to get dressed. We have to go and I know it's hard. You lost your best friend, your girlfriend, someone who was your home but you still have a whole family right there with you."
I stay silent realization sinking in looking at him. He takes my silence as a cue. For what exactly I don't know but he walks further into the room and reaches forward setting the folded paper on my bed in front of me, before our eyes lock briefly.
"Ducky's here. Will wait in the living room," Rovvie says, nodding his head at me before turning on his heels and exiting the room. I watch him leave and wait a couple seconds after he does before reaching forward and feeling no pain anywhere. My eyes glance down to my stomach and reach down pulling my shirt up. There wasn't any marks or bruises. I quickly drop my shirt and reach forward for the folded piece of paper turning it over and finding Daisy's picture plastered on the front, tears welling into my eyes.
I shut my eyes and set the paper down, sliding out of the bed realizing I was dreaming. I was dreaming to cope with the fact my best friend, my girlfriend was gone, that she..she took her own life. But why... Why would I dream of her as the bad guy? I love her, loved her!
I squeeze my eyes together tightly to try and stop the tears from forming realizing everything that happened between me and Alycia wasn't real. That all of it was just a dream. A stupid, damn dream and for what? What was any of it for?
"Huh?" I say out loud looking up at the ceiling and then around my room. The room I spend every day in since I moved out of parents when I was 17. "Why are you torturing me?" I ask out loud, no asking anyone specifically. But there wasn't going to be an answer. There never was. I was a mess. I dreamt of being with Alycia. I dreamt of the compound me and Daisy always wanted to start and never could. So why, why torture me and make me think shit I didn't want to think? Why make me believe I actually had a chance with someone I idolize-
"DAMN IT!" I shout turning and swinging a punch, hitting the wall hard. I pull my hand away and cuss under my breathe feeling my head burning. I shake my head realizing Daisy in my dream was right. It was all in my head. All of it was just in my head because I wanted, needed something. And the only thing I knew to keep me safe and sound was knowing I could protect Alycia.
"Y/N?" Ducky's voice rang from the door. I open my eyes holding my hand, squeezing it to stop the burning sensation. Ducky's eyes softened as she quickly came over and held out her hands. "Let me see."
Slowly I reach my hand over and she takes it nodding her head up and down. She says nothing as she guides me over and sets me down on the bed before she leaves the room. Within seconds though she comes back with a cloth and bandages. She sets them to the side of me and sits down taking my hand in her's setting the wet, icy cold cloth on my hand causing me to wince. But my mind ran rapid. Everything in that dream felt real. Feeling Alycia, smelling her, her laugh, her smile, her hand in mine, that explosion, getting stabbed, getting beaten, pulling that trigger multiple times-
"Hey, hey Y/N?" Ducky spoke as I felt her hand on my cheek pulling my eyes to lock with her's. "Hey, what's going on up there?" Her eyes shift back and forth between mine and I shake my head.
"Misery," I respond back, my voice a whisper as I shake my head and look away. "Nothing but misery."
The End