Chasing Cars by Sleeping At Last
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Lizzie's POV
The next morning went a little slow. Y/N didn't have work today, so we ended up staying in so she could heal. She insisted on going somewhere, but luckily in the end, I was able to convince her.
"Stay still baby, this will only take a second." I told her for the third time as I'm disinfecting a few cuts that she has on her face. "This might sting a little.." I made sure to blow on the cut while the gauge dabbed with a little bit of rubbing alcohol touched her wounds.
Y/N flinched a couple of times but she didn't cry out in pain. As I'm staring at all of her bruises, I couldn't help but feel the ache in my heart. It hurts having to see the aftermath of what I could've possibly caused. Apparently, I'm not good at hiding my emotions because Y/N sensed my discomfort almost immediately.
"Baby, what's wrong?" Her voice is quiet, yet soft and comforting. I lowered my gaze to my lap, but she pivoted my head to look at her, "I know that seeing me like this is hard, but I promise you I'm okay." Y/N's warm smile shed some light into my heart. "Now, stop crying okay? Let's be happy and live in the moment." She swept the remaining of the tears off my face.
Our soft laughter filled the apartment, and for once since last night I finally feel better. I could finally breathe. After tending her wounds, we ended up on the couch binge watching a new show. The 100.
Every once in a while, I found myself stealing a couple of glances, admiring her presence. Everything about her moves me. While she watches tv, I'm watching her instead. She's far more entertaining. The way she would crinkle her nose whenever something happens that she doesn't like or if and when something interests her, reminds me of the many reasons why I fell in love with her in the first place.
Y/N is simple, yet breathtaking. When I'm around her, I feel complete. I feel like I could be myself without having to be afraid of being judged. She insists that she's the lucky one, but I beg to differ because she's naturally genuine at heart. She does little to grand gestures without having to think about it twice. Y/N consistency when it comes to showing me how much she truly loves and appreciates me doesn't go unnoticed. I see and feel everything she's pouring at me.
I didn't keep track of how many episodes we've watched so far, but, when I looked at her, she was sleeping. I moved as tactically as I could, gently placing her head on the pillow before tucking her in.
"I'll be right back, okay baby? I just have to take care of some things." I gave her forehead a kiss before leaving the apartment.
I drove to my destination with one thing on my mind. I'm determined to do what I have to do to set things straight before I could truly move forward with my future with Y/N. This is the least that I could do. I owe it to her and to myself. I can't have anyone from my past linger and hinder me from moving forward.
I knocked on the door twice, waiting for a response. When I heard footsteps coming my way, I straightened my posture, mentally preparing myself for what I'm about to do.
"Lizzie, I'm so glad that you came." Robbie attempted to give me a hug, but I pulled away. "Come in."
I walked inside his house, flashes of the constant distress that I would always find myself in played in my mind like a broken record. I almost wanted to see myself out, but I went there for a reason.
"I didn't expect to see you here." His voice was full of hope. "But, either way, I'm glad that you're here. I've missed you Lizzie. I miss us. How we used to be."
Robbie inched himself closer to me, his hands cupped my face. I flinched within his touch, his presence making me cringe.
"I know somewhere, deep down in your heart, you still love me. I know you do. The love we had doesn't just magically go away." Robbie said, his voice cracked. "I know, I've said and done some things, but if you let me, I would like for us to try again. We could be like how we used to be. Better even. What do you say?"
I backed away from him once more, the disappointment runs in his eyes, "That's the last thing I want. I didn't come here so we could rekindle what we used to be. What you did to Y/N, was unacceptable. I can't believe you would do so much as ask other people to hurt another human being."
"Okay, I get it. What I did was wrong but, come on Elizabeth. I did that for us, so we could finally be together."
"No, you did that for yourself. For your own personal gain. Like you always do." I said sternly, holding my ground. "How do you expect me to understand you when you're constantly doing selfish things?!"
Robbie tries to lean in for a kiss but I pull away just in time before he could lay one out on me, "You really love her?"
"Yes, I do. More than I could ever imagine." I told him truthfully.
Robbie backs away from me, "You're making a big mistake Lizzie."
"No, I don't think I am." I said confidently before making my way to the door. "Goodbye, Robbie."
With my head held high, I walked toward the door, content with myself. I did what I came here to do and I'm glad I was able to tell him what I truly feel and where I stand.
"So, when are you going to tell her?"
I stopped on my tracks, my entire body froze to the ground.
"I figured since you two seemed to be getting closer than ever, considering that she hasn't broken up with you about it, tells me that you haven't told her." Robbie took advantage of the fact that he knows how to get under my skin. "How are you going to come here and tell me you're moving forward when you haven't even told her what happened?"
"Stay out of my way." I uttered with some guidance in my voice.
~
My mind was elsewhere. Even after I had gotten off the car, I found myself mindlessly walking toward her apartment complex with a heavy heart. My heart aches as I look at her peacefully sleeping. There I am again, muffling my sobs, the pain becoming too unbearable.
"I'm sorry.." I whimpered silently. "I'm so sorry.." I held my chest in place, feeling my heart shatter piece by piece.
Conflicted out of my mind, I call the one person I know that would be able to help me.
"Scar, is it okay if I come over?"
-
I sat in front of her, tears were starting to escape my eyes.
"Lizzie, what's wrong?" Scarlett asked, her voice full of concern.
I told her everything that happened. I didn't leave any stone unturned. Telling her about everything made me feel a little better. Some of the weight that I've been carrying on my shoulder has been lifted.
"I'm sorry that happened." Scar held my hand for comfort. "I know how hard it must've been for you to witness that."
"I just hate myself." I start. "I'm either hurting her with words or I'm somehow the reason behind why she's getting hurt physically."
"Lizzie..."
"I thought about breaking up with her. Letting her go. Freeing her of me. Because, I don't think I can spend another day hurting her. She doesn't deserve to be with someone that is constantly weighing her down." I sniffled my tears back.
"Stop that." Scar said sternly. "Don't talk so badly of yourself. I know under the circumstances that you keep finding yourself in, you think that you don't deserve it or it's better if you let her go so she'd hurt a little less. Let me tell you, that's a bullshit plan. You'll do more damage than good. If you think you don't deserve her, then do something to change that. Listen to me very carefully. You can't constantly feel guilty for yourself and not do anything about it. And I'm not saying you're not trying to be better, no. What I'm trying to say here is that, you can't keep doing this to yourself with every inconvenience that happens. It doesn't matter if it's your fault or hers. If you want to be with her through thick and thin, fight for her. Stay by her side. Because, in the end, it will all be worth it."
Scar's word of advice ran through my head about a thousand times. I thought about her words, and I thought about Y/N. I thought about her a lot. I thought about her on the drive back and how I want nothing more than to be around her. Fight for her.
I rushed inside the living room, and my eyes immediately landed on her in the kitchen. She couldn't hear me because of the music playing in the background, but I didn't waste any more time before embracing her with a hug.
"Oh, you're back." Y/N reciprocated the hug, putting the spatula down. "I hope you're hungry because I'm making pasta."
I didn't say anything, instead I nuzzled my head against her chest, taking a home in it once again.
"I miss you so much." I said longingly. "I'm sorry that I left without saying anything."
"Aww, baby it's okay. And I miss you too." She caressed my back soothingly. "Are you okay? You seem so touchy today."
"What? I can't just give my girlfriend the biggest and tightest hug I've ever given?"
"Right, I'm sorry." Y/N chuckled, squeezing me gently.
"How are you feeling?"
"I'm all better now. That nap was very well needed." She said softly. "And you took care of me, so that also helped."
Y/N graciously sealed my lips with a kiss, completely washing all of my problems away like they never existed. I closed my eyes shut within her embrace, and I just know that this will forever be my comfort zone.
After lunch, Y/N and I laid in bed, cuddled together with our gaze toward the ceiling. She played with my baby hair, making me flutter with happiness.
"You know what I just thought of?" Y/N said softly.
"Hmmm?"
"When we have a kid, we'd have to come up with some ridiculous name. Like, Pickle."
"Pickle?" I laughed out loud.
"Yes, it has a ring to it and we'll never forget." Y/N insisted.
"We are not naming our kid Pickle."
"Why not? He would totally like that name."
"Baby.."
"Yeah?"
"You said he. Is that something you would want in the future? A boy?" I asked.
"I do, yeah. But, I'm also completely fine with having a girl. Chasing a bunch of little Lizzies running around. I love that."
I beamed a smile at her excitement, the thought of our possible future drives me.
Robbie's POV
"I'm only with her to make myself get over you. She doesn't mean anything to me. Not the way you do. I only want to be with you. Not her." Her voicemail played on repeat.
I chuckled mischievously, thinking of my next move.
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A/N: Just a little bump on the train... I'm sorry this chapter is so short and kinda bland. I hope y'all still liked it though. Also, this is a double update because y'all deserve it!
See y'all in the next!