Monday: 10 P. M.
-------------------
My phone buzzes twice as I pull into the complex.
I put the car in park before shutting off the engine and pulling the phone from my purse.
I have two messages from Deidre. I sigh before clicking on the notification.
*You left?*
*You OK?*
No not really, not after I acted a fool and got left embarrassed...
*Yea. Work 2marrow, memba* I type out; my fingers dancing over the keyboard and the sound of my nails clicking against the screen, as I go, echoing in the silence.
I still can't believe what happened.
I feel so stupid!
If it weren't for that girl showing up, God knows what would've happened.
It was like I had no damn control over my own fucking body. All I could think about was him. The way I felt connected to the music: my body on his, my hands massaging his tight muscles, the way he stared at my lips; the feel of his bulge between my legs.
In that one moment, I was willing and ready to risk it all.
Until that girl interrupted us. Something I wasn't sure how I felt about at the time.
But who was that girl though?
She obviously wasn't Jessica. I distinctly remember her from the pics on Instagram. Jessica was taller, leaner, fairer...prettier.
So...
Another one of his side pieces?
The knot in my stomach tightens at the thought.
For some reason I thought he was different.
Well what did you expect? Especially from a man who has a woman yet still led you on...
Niggas really ain't shit!
Gyal, you a get off or wha? Why are you in your feelings over this man? Smaddy else man at that!
*Oh, OK. Kl.* her next message reads.
*I'm finna leave shortly. Even though Damien insists I stay a bit longer. But you know your girl can't be trusted in these streets. 😉* Deidre replies after a few seconds.
I shake my head and roll my eyes but couldn't help the smile which spreads. I just knew she had an agenda from the moment she randomly decided to go to this club. This bitch. *Dirty gyal. * I send her.
My mood is starting to lift. Just a wee bit.
*Mama's gotta eat! 😏* she texts back immediately.
Indeed.
I'm happy for her. She deserves some attention after being single for so long. Four years? Without cocky? Knowing how much she loves big hood?
I don't think I could do it, honestly.
They fit each other though. He seems like a cool guy, just the kind to tame the wild fire that is Deidre-Ann Dacosta.
*Yuh love gunman!?* I tease, knowing damn well how she gets for men in uniform.
I couldn't...wouldn't...date a soldier in my life. They just give off this madman, cokehead, killer-on-steroids vibe.
Or is it just me?
Plus, we all know how they are when it comes on to womanizing.
Petrad seems different though.
Yea, that's what you thought about Lucas too...
*Gunman in mi hole, MI like that! 💦*
*Lmao*
My mouth drops at her message. A cyaan badda!
*Yuh better make sure you make it home safely. That yuh fi do!* I tell her as I exit the vehicle and make my way up the stairs.
Her response is a quick: *Always! 💣🤸🔪🔪*
I smile as I open the apartment and kick off my slippers. *Just got home. About to take a shower. Text me when you get home.*
I know she'll be fine. Deidre never leaves home without her pocket knife and pepper spray.
It doesn't take long for me to undress, wipe off my makeup, and step inside the shower.
I stand under the rain-head shower head for a few minutes, just looking at my toes, as the water beats against my skin.
It seems to be something I do whenever I have a lot on my mind, nowadays.
And tonight I did have a lot going on in my head.
The water comes as a perfect rain, warm and steady, awakening my skin in all the right ways.
I bet you wouldn't mind having your skin awaken in another way tonight. By a certain someone.
Shaking my head to clear the thought, I turn the water off and step out.
I take in my reflection as I stand naked before the mirror.
My nipples are rock hard.
Like his cocky nestled at the flaps of your pussy...
My chest rises slowly and steadily.
Like his hands as he caressed your ass...
My face is red from the steamy hot water that I just came out of.
Like his lips. Those lips you craved to be on yours, not too long ago...
I remove the shower cap and my locks fall down my spine in long, thick, black strands.
Thick, long and black. Just like his coc--
"I can't do this...!" I chastise myself and immediately reach for the bathtowel.
I really can't.
It's just too much.
Even though I just got out of the shower, I'm feeling hot and bothered.
Too hot and bothered for my liking.
What the heck is happening to me?
I wrap the towel around my body and leave the bathroom.
Ignoring the ache between my legs, I sit on the bed and squeeze some baby oil into my palm.
It feels so good as I slowly rub the oil onto my skin. Moving from my arms to my legs, trailing from the tips of my toes upwards; massaging my taut skin with it as I go.
It really feels so good.
Too good.
It's almost like I could picture my hands as Lucas's, slowly and tenderly stroking my legs.
I get wet at the idea of his strong arms on my skin. Much like they had been earlier tonight.
I continue the trail up my thighs. Then gasp at the sensation that ignites within my body as I accidentally bring my hand too close to my pussy.
My clit pulsates.
Oh God...
Then I had an idea.
My fingers slowly dance along my inner thighs, as I circle my middle finger around the aching flesh. The oil coating my fingers feels slippery.
Tempting.
The mood lights decked in the ceiling creates the right atmosphere.
Never had I ever imagined that tonight would fare off like this. With me sitting alone, in a dimly-lit apartment, naked, aching, and seriously contemplating finger-fucking myself.
I moan and recline on the bed, propping my legs up on the edge and spreading my thighs apart.
A shiver runs up my spine and goosebumps cover my exposed skin as I continue to rub my clit.
I close my eyes, and picture his face; The look in his eyes as he bites his lower lip and stares deep into my soul.
Yes, Lucas...yes...
God, I'm so wet!
Just as I am about to sink my finger in, my phone goes off and I jump at the blaring sound, hitting my heel against the baseboard.
I reach for the phone which I'd carelessly strewn, among the other items in my purse, on the nightstand and unplug the earphones.
My eyes widen at the name on the caller ID.
I quickly swipe it across and bring the device to my ear. "Hello?"
"Hi, darling!" Odaine's mother's high-pitched voice echoes in my ear, and I pull the phone away slightly. "Sorry to be calling you so late. Did I wake you?"
More like interrupted something else...
I smile even though she cannot see me. "That's OK, Mrs. H, I was just about to dose off."
Lying fuck.
You and I both know you were just about to do...other things.
"What's up? Is everything alright?" I add before my thoughts get the better of me.
I can hear the smile in her voice when she says, "Oh, nothing really. Just wanted to remind you that tomorrow's the appointment to have the dresses fitted."
Oh, shit! I totally forgot about that.
Crap.
"What time were you thinking?" I ask, dreading the hoarseness in my voice.
From all that moaning...
She goes silent as if thinking. Then asks, "You're working tomorrow, right?"
I nod even though she can not see me. "Yea."
What if Odaine could see what you were just doing?
"Okay. And what time do you get off?"
Remember how he acted when you "accidentally" called him Lucas? What if he knew you were calling out more than his name?
Yes, God, Lucas, fuck me--
"Five," I say a little too anxiously. I clear my throat to cover it.
Why are you nervous, sweetheart? It's not like she can hear your thoughts...
"Good. How do you feel about meeting me there at five-thirty or six o'clock? Is that OK?"
It's not like I really have a choice.
"Yes, sure. That's perfect."
She laughs. "Great! I'll see you then..."
Her cheerfulness calms me. "OK, Mrs. H. See you tomorrow."
"Sure. Go back to bed now," she says. "I wouldn't want to keep you up any later."
Like that's what's keeping her up...
"Goodnight."
She hangs up and I immediately release the breath I've been holding ever since I saw her name on the caller ID.
Why the hell do I feel so nervous?
It feels like I've been caught red-handed.
I sigh and flop onto my belly, groaning into the pillow.
Tonight I almost fucked myself to the thoughts of another man...and tomorrow I have to go shopping with a woman who's not supposed to even know about that man. Or those thoughts.
Yippee!
What on earth could go wrong?
****
Tuesday: 5:45 P. M.
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We've been at Classic Circle for roughly fifteen minutes now and I still can't find a dress. At least one that I like.
All the ones that I do see, are either too bland, or are in another colour besides black.
Mrs. H is somewhere in the back talking to Dion, the rep, about having the straps of her dress altered.
I weave through the rows of mannequins, picking and prodding at the dresses as I pass each one.
An annoyed sigh escapes my chapped lips. I'm thirsty. Not to mention, I'm tired and frustrated at this point.
It has been a long day.
After processing fifteen barrel customers and data-entering for six upcoming container shipments, I just want to go home, take a nice, hot shower and go to sleep.
Just as I am about to turn back, my eyes find the dress I've been searching for.
Its simplicity is stunning: floor-length, black, back-less, with the straps forming a overlapping x that are bound together at the back of the neck.
I especially love the little detail at the midriff; a see-through mesh flower that stops between the breasts.
This is the one!
My smile stretches from ear to ear as I gently unclothe the mannequin.
Wow. And the material feels so cool and nice, too.
The price isn't bad either. At least, since I'm not the one paying.
I hear Mrs. Hamilton's voice approaching and I turn to face the direction from which it came.
I can't wait for her to see this dress...
The glass door to the store suddenly swings open and a man carrying a big box walks through; the box covering his face.
"Where should I put this?" I hear him say to the clerk at the front who points to the corner beside the counter.
From where I'm standing, his voice is muffled, but it sounds eerily like...
Lucas?
I gasp as the man puts down the box and turns towards me.
I swiftly turn around and face the row of mannequins, shielding my face with my free hand.
Please don't see me. Please don't see me.
"Boo!" he says from the other side and I jump.
I turn to face his smirking face.
"You're everywhere aren't you?" his voice is smooth as he says.
And my heartbeat falters.
Why am I feeling instantly nervous?
Maybe because Odaine's mother is literally right there!?
I cock a brow to mask my nerves. "Or maybe you're just stalking me..."
He laughs and it sounds so refreshing.
"Now, someone thinks a little too highly of herself."
Mrrr!
My smile drops. Hasn't this man embarrassed me enough?
I'm starting to think he gets a kick out of other people's misery.
Asshole.
He takes in my expression and his smile too fades. "Lighten up, Amanda...I'm joking."
He remembers my name?
Get it together. It means nothing.
Right?
"'Lighten up, Amanda, I'm joking!'" I mock.
He crosses his arms and I notice his outfit. He's wearing a black t-shirt with the word 'L. O. V. E.' spelt backwards in bold, red letters, paired with a black sweatpants and black and red sneakers.
His hair is hidden under a matching fitted cap, which he turns backwards on this head.
He looks really good. As always.
"Someone's got jokes," he teases. "Or do I just make you nervous?"
My heart stops momentarily. I swallow my spit.
Get it together, girl!
"Don't think you're that speci---" I start to say when suddenly Mrs. H is by my side.
"Lucas?" she calls out when she notices him.
Wait! She knows him?
The fuck?