★ M A I A ★
The tavern was crowded as groups of people gathered around paper lanterns to confess their sins. Apparently, it was tradition to write your regrets on strips of cloth and attach them to lanterns. At night, they'd light them and let them float away. It was a nice thought.
Raven had gone upstairs, and Echo had disappeared. Gav had invited Alex to put a ribbon on our lantern, but he'd said his sins wouldn't float and gone outside. Gavril and I sat at a table with a lantern between us. I stared at my strip of fabric wondering what I was going to write down. Across from me, Gav was doing the same.
"Gav," I said quietly. "I'm so sorry." He looked up. "I never apologized. I'm the reason Peter and Ella died. If I had just gone to Polis with the rest of my friends, it never would have happened."
"You heard Kenna; it was gonna happen sometime," he reminded me. "The Shadows couldn't stay neutral forever. If it hadn't been you, it would've been McCreary or Diyoza. I think that would've been worse. At least we got you."
"I am glad I met Cal," I admitted. "I was fucked up, and somehow a complete stranger pulled me out of that when my closest friends couldn't. And I got you and Kenna out of it." After a moment, I added. "And Alex."
Gav gave me a lopsided smile. "Alex is an acquired taste."
I looked down at my strip of fabric and wrote: Pushing my friends away.
"It was my fault anyway." I glanced back up at Gav's words. "If it weren't for me, Ella and Peter would've lived long lives. Ella left everything she'd ever known for me, because I screwed up. If she'd just let me go back to prison, she would have never met Alex or Peter. They would've lived the rest of their lives in Berlin. They never would have joined the House of Shadows."
I shook my head. "You can't blame yourself for that. She was your sister, of course she was going to help you. I don't think she ever regretted it once. I bet Alex doesn't either."
"Maybe not." Gav put his pen to the fabric and wrote. The lantern blocked my view, so I couldn't see, but I had some idea of what he put down. We tied the fabric to the top of the lantern and stepped away from the table.
"How is Alex doing?" I asked, as we headed for the door. "I don't know what to make of him."
Gav nodded. "He's a tough one to crack. But he's handling it the same way he does with everything else. By ignoring it."
"I tried that," I admitted. "It never works as well as you hope."
★★★★
The palace at Sanctum had been utterly transformed from our dinner the night before. The lights were dimmed, and colorful beams cut across the room in time to the music. Speakers rolled out bass and vocals, and the floor could hardly be seen through the smoke pumped in for atmosphere.
It looked like something straight out of a movie. Nothing on the Ark had ever come close to this. Even the comet watching parties were more black tie than black light. The closest we'd ever gotten to having as much fun as the people who filled the dance floor was Unity Day at the dropship.
My cheeks warmed at the memory of Clarke bursting into Bellamy's tent and finding us tangled up in each other. We were so young then. We thought we we'd seen it all, but we'd barely scratched the surface.
At my side Gav cleared his throat and nodded across the room. I couldn't stop the shocked gasp that slipped out of my mouth at the sight. "I guess we know where he ran off to," Gav said with a chuckle. I stared at Alex and Echo locked in an embrace for another moment before a tap on my shoulder distracted me.
Bellamy stood behind me, holding a pair of champagne glasses. I'm gonna go flirt with the locals," Gav muttered, excusing himself. I laughed softly before turning back to Bell.
Bell offered me a glass, which I took with a smile. "I figured we could both use one."
Though the celebrations had been a great escape from all the problems piling up around us, they didn't go away overnight. "I'm sorry, Bell. I should've been with you today after everything with Octavia."
"No, it's alright. It's nice to see you happy, I wish I got to see it more," he told me. "And besides you have other things on your mind." He ran his fingers across the tattoo on my forearm.
I sighed. "I don't want the Shadows to come between us. They're my friends now too."
"After everything we've been through, it's going to take more than a few maladjusted criminals to break us up." Bellamy flashed a lopsided smirk. "Gavril seems like a good guy, I'm glad you two are getting along."
I pointed across the room to where Alex and Echo were still lip locked. "I think they're getting along well too."
Bellamy looked just as shocked as I felt. "Well, I didn't see that one coming."
I giggled. "Me either, but hey, I guess if it works it works." I downed my glass and sat it on a passing tray. "Now, come on. I didn't get fixed up just to sit on the sidelines." I held out a hand toward Bellamy. "Dance with me!"
★★★★
I leaned on the table, sipping something Delilah's mother promised me would help my headache. Gavril was telling everyone who would listen about Alex and Echo. His captive audience this morning happened to be Murphy and Bellamy.
"I'm worried about Delilah," Jordan said, leaning on our table with a thump. Gav's words tapered off as we all looked up at our newest addition. He sat down beside me without an invitation. "Something's been off about her since the naming last night. I took her daisies this morning and she said they were her favorite. Yesterday she told me they were calla lilies."
Murphy and Bellamy shared a look before laughing. "I'm serious!" Jordan pressed. "There's something wrong here."
I sighed softly and put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sure she's just got a lot on her plate right now. I mean she's royalty." Jordan did not look convinced. To be fair, I wasn't sure if I trusted the Primes yet either. But I had a long history of being screwed over by those offering olive branches.
"You're new at this relationship thing, give it time," I assured him. "If it doesn't work out with Delilah, there will be other girls. I promise."
"Yeah, that, and maybe don't get flowers for a one-night stand," Murphy muttered. I let out a short-annoyed breath, but before I could reprimand him, Clarke approached our table. She seemed lighter, happier. It was a good look on her.
"Looks like someone had fun last night," Murphy noted. Clarke just winked in response.
Gavril opened his mouth, but I beat him to it. "Alex and Echo are a thing now. We're all shocked. Anyway, on a scale of one to ten how hungover are you?"
Clarke laughed. "How do you look this good hungover?" She asked, reaching out to twirl a piece of my hair around her finger. "Please teach me your secrets." Before I could reply, she added. "We should do dinner later, have a girl's night."
"Clarke!" Madi called from across the room, and Clarke turned toward the voice. Madi pulled her away, leaving the rest of us alone at the table in silence.
"Girl's night?" I repeated, scrunching up my nose.
Murphy cleared his throat. "Did Clarke Griffin just flirt with you?"
★★★★
I looked down at the map Russell had gifted us with a frown. "All these years and this is all they've mapped?" I asked, though I already knew the answer. The cartography was woefully lacking. I ran my fingers over the red zone marked: TEMPORAL ANOMALY. "This is literally sharpie."
"More for us to explore," Gav said with a lopsided grin.
"More to get us killed," Alex muttered. For once, I had to agree.
Bellamy and Cal were both studying the maps with serious expressions as if the perfect location for our new home would leap off the paper. "We should put together an expedition as soon as possible," Bellamy said.
I glanced around the room. There were few of us here in Sanctum. Kenna, Octavia, and Diyoza were in the woods. Abby and Jackson had medical things to worry about, and Raven and Emori were learning how to build a shield. Meanwhile, Clarke was off doing whatever it was that Clarke did.
I motioned toward our group. "This is our expedition."
Before Bellamy could start making plans, I held up a hand. We were missing someone. "Wait, where's Jordan?"
♥ K E N N A ♥
We tore through the forest on the trail of the missing Xavier. The sun had long since risen, and the lack of sleep and sore muscles was beginning to catch up with me. But I wasn't about to let my discomfort show in front of Octavia and Diyoza.
"There he is!" Octavia shouted straight into my ear. I cringed but pushed the motorcycle faster. The engine thrummed and Octavia's grip on my waist tightened. I weaved through trees, growing closer to Xavier by the second.
But just as I was about to overtake him, he slid under a fallen log and ran into the trees. Diyoza pulled her bike alongside ours and cursed under her breath. Octavia sprinted beneath the fallen log and I followed with Diyoza on my heels.
After a few moments, Xavier turned, pointing his pistol at us. The three of us stopped, but before anyone could get a shot off, the ground beneath us shifted. I looked down to see my boots disappearing into the mud.
Xavier looked at us, caught in his trap. "The harder you fight, the faster you die." Then he turned on his heels and disappeared into the trees.
♥♥♥♥
I'd lost count of how much time had passed since we'd gotten stuck, but the sun was beginning to fall beneath the horizon. Octavia struggled in the muck, getting stuck up to her waist. Diyoza and I had barely fallen below our knees. "Give it a rest, Tavs," I groaned. "Save your strength."
"For what? You think anyone's coming to save us?" Octavia asked. "They left us here to die. But I guess at least you chose your own fate."
I rolled my eyes, refusing to be baited. "Maybe the Shadows aren't coming for us, but Xavier's over there in the trees. Has been for hours. He'll me back." I picked dirt from under my nails while Diyoza began to taunt Octavia.
I raised my eyes slowly toward them as Diyoza pointed her gun at Octavia's head. One eyebrow ticked up, but I kept my mouth shut. "Do you want to die?" Diyoza asked her. "Just say the word and I can put you out of our misery."
"You think you can scare me?" Octavia asked. She leaned in, pressing her forehead to the pistol. "Do it."
I snatched the gun from Diyoza's hand and tossed it into the mud. Diyoza shook her head slowly. "I've been there." She pulled her collar down to reveal a scar across her neck. "Self-inflicted."
"Me too," I said after a moment. They both looked over to me. "Don't look so fucking surprised. You don't end up on a prison ship without a whole lot of baggage." Diyoza's face softened and I sighed. "For a while after I felt like it was just one more thing I couldn't do right. Then I found the Shadows. If I had died, I never would have met my family. There's always something else."
"What if that something else sucks?" Octavia asked.
My lips quirked in the smallest smile. "Then there'll be something else after that."
A branch broke behind us and we turned to see Xavier walking back into the clearing with a rope. He looped it around the tree with hardly a glance in our direction. "Toss us the rope and we'll tell you what you want to know," Diyoza said with a catlike look.
"Tell me what I want to know, and I'll toss you the rope," he countered.
I scoffed. "Not fucking likely."
He continued as if I hadn't spoken. "Some of your people have a blood alteration. How many?"
The three of us in the mud shared a look and turned back to Xavier stone faced. He sighed and leaned against the tree. "Have it your way, I can wait."
♥♥♥♥
Long after night had fallen, Diyoza and I had sunken up to our chests. Octavia was barely keeping her head above the mud. "Okay, fun's over, throw us the rope," Diyoza snapped.
"How many of your people have blood alteration?" Xavier asked again.
"Don't tell him shit," Octavia snapped.
I groaned. "Why do you want to know?" Xavier just narrowed his eyes. "This is really getting us nowhere, huh? You're wasting your time here."
Before anyone else could pitch in, the wind picked up. Xavier leapt to his feet and I was suddenly on edge. "What the hell is that?" Diyoza yelled.
"A temporal flare!" Xavier called. He tossed the rope toward us and Diyoza wasted no time in pulling herself out. She tossed me the rope and took off running.
I began to heft myself out but stopped to look at Octavia. "I can't move, Kenna" she said. "Leave me."
I looked at the lights behind her and let out a sharp breath. "Fuck. I hope this works." I jumped forward, grabbing Octavia around the neck and pushing her further down.
"What are you doing?" She screeched, throwing her arms up over my shoulders.
"Hold your breath!" I yelled before pushing us both under. The world went dark and the only thing I could feel was Octavia's arm around my neck.
♥♥♥♥
Consciousness crashed into me all at once, and I rolled over, heaving for air. I was covered in the sticky muck, but I was alive. I turned to see Octavia pushing herself up onto her elbows. Diyoza leaned over us. "That was close, O'Brien."
I held up my House of Shadow's tattoo and grinned. "By a knife's edge."
Diyoza rolled her eyes and stood up. "Hurry up, he's getting away."