Ben loved her. He loved, adored, cherished his light, Rey. Rey was his future empress, his future wife, mother to his children, and he loved her. She was this gorgeous, pure soul who had entered his life and he was all too grateful to have met her. Goodness, how much he loved her. That was all Ben had to do; think about how much he loved Rey.
Ben's gaze was focused on the marbled counter opposite of him. There was nothing on it however, he had kept his eyes locked on the counter for a good amount of time. It was when he would shake off his focus on the surface, that he would hear the commotion down the hall. He closed his eyes briefly, leaned on the counter behind him, and drank his fizzy.
He could hear the laughter down the hall. The upbeat music playing, not too loud, not too low. He tried to find his dyad's voice to ease his anxiety, but he had no luck. Ben could simply use their bond but did not wish to spoil her good time. No, he had to endure because he loved her.
"Master Ren?" a small, shaky voice brought him back to the present.
Ben opened his eyes and noticed a petite, young lady, almost Rey's age, standing nervously by the kitchen's archway and carrying a tray of five-blossom bread. Ben could tell she was apprehensive, in fact all the servants working in the lake house treaded lightly near Ben. Though he and Rey had only been living there for two weeks, the servants were already quite friendly with Rey, Leia, and Chewie. When they would see Ben or Hux in a room, the servants tried their best to become invisible. Everyone in Naboo knew of the things Ben had done and because Hux was in the same regime, he was no different in their eyes.
"Is there...is there something I can get you, sir?" the young girl inquired.
"No. Nothing." Ben replied with a calm voice. "Wait." He said as the young girl turned to leave. "Can you get me another fizzy, please."
"Yes, sir, right away."
Ben sighed as the young girl left and resumed to think about Rey. He hated people but when the love of his life asked for a party for the upcoming birth, he had to comply. A "baby shower" is what his mother called it. Ben cursed his mother's name once more as she was the one who suggested such a party.
A small party is what was promised and yet it seemed as though the whole Resistance was in his home. He was surprised to find some officers of the Order present as well. When had Rey made friends in the Order, he wondered. Five minutes into the party is all it took for Ben to feel uncomfortable. He was somewhat used to Finn and Rose but when that damn Poe Dameron greeted Ben with a pat in the back, Ben had scurried off to the kitchen.
"Are you okay, love?" Rey reached Ben.
"Yes. I need another minute. I'll be right in."
"You said that half an hour ago."
"Did I say a minute, I meant another hour."
Rey tried to transcend her feelings of ease through their bond as best as she could. She could feel the anxiety Ben felt and did her best to soothe her lover. "You will never guess some of these gifts; their ridiculous.
"Let me guess," Ben played, "blasters, armor, weapons, etc.?"
"You forgot the ship Hux gifted them." Rey laughed.
"A ship!?"
"Yes! From Hux's own collection, The Valkarian. Not as big as your ship but it's up there in size."
"Remind me to lower his salary." Ben teased.
"I love you, thank you. I'm having a wonderful time."
"I'm glad you are!"
"Your fizzy." Leia voiced as she entered the kitchen and handed Ben his drink.
"Kriff." Ben thought as he took his drink from his mother. He had made it so he could spend as little time with her as possible. Always making excuses and fleeing from her, at times he would use Rey as a buffer. Leia leaned on the counter opposite of Ben. "Double Kriff." With the party being held in the main room, access to his bedroom was blocked so escaping was out of the question.
"So," Leia started, "are you going to make an appearance or hide in here for the rest of the night?"
"I choose to hide in here or would you like for me to venture off to some planet and be forgotten?" When Rey was not around, there was something about Leia that made Ben instantly turn into his dark persona. A stern look was all Ben gained from his estranged mother. "I was here first so..."
Leia remained silent and continued to look straight ahead towards her son.
"Are you going to gawk at me or go back to your new favorite daughter?" Ben was getting annoyed. "Your family is over there." He pointed towards the main room. "Nothing in here for you...just me...the son you abandoned."
"You know," Leia was frustrated. Enough was enough. "when your father and I left you with Luke, we stayed above the planet for two weeks. We were debating whether to let you stay or bring you back with us. I tried to convince Luke to let the old Jedi ways, like no family contact, stay in the past."
"Well, you-"
"I'm not done." Leia interrupted. "I made Luke give us updates on you constantly. If fact, I think he was annoyed on how much we called. By nine in the morning, you would have had breakfast, read your scrolls for the day, and ran the training course. By the afternoon, you would work on your calligraphy, read your texts, had hand to hand combat training. Before going to bed, you would run the course two more times and meditate."
"That doesn't prove any-"
"The darkness in you worried us. I could clearly feel it while you were in my womb, as I feel you now. I was terrified, yes, but never of you. You're my son, I accepted the darkness and strength you held and that is why I, we, sent you away, to help you control it. As for me, as for your father, we didn't give a damn if you were going to be in the dark or light side! That was the least of our worries."
Ben's emotions swirled inside as he continued to listen.
"We worried for your own safety. Look at you! You're the grandson of Anakin Skywalker, for star's sake! The power you had even before you were born, it was incredible! Power we knew people would want for themselves. So yes, we did leave you isolated, a regret I will always carry. I regret many things, and I am sure your father did as well. Not having enough time for you, not letting know it was okay for you to come to us with whatever doubts, feelings, questions you had. However, I do not regret my decisions for you to learn how to defend yourself."
Ben shifted his eyes to the floor and felt Leia come near.
"Ben, my dear son," she lifted Ben's chin to meet her gaze, "I could never in a million years defend you against whatever threat there was out there against you. I would definitely try, I would give my life for you, but we knew that would've never been enough. You, Ben, had to become your own power, your own strength, in order to fight. Fight your future enemies, whether they be from the dark side, light side, your fellow Jedi, whatever, as long as you fought for yourself and lived. That is all your father and I wanted for you. We love you. You don't understand how much your father and I love you. All the things you have done and here I still am, rooting for you, knowing my son is still in here."
Leia placed her wrinkled hand on Ben's chest. She could feel his heart rapidly beating and knew her heart was in the same tune. "We left you to train because we love you. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, I truly am. I can't erase the past, but I can make up for lost time in the future. I love you, Ben. I am here for you...I will always be here for you."
Ben sharply exhaled as tears began to fall. "I didn't kill him." He sobbed. "I didn't...I couldn't and he knew...he...he plunged into my saber and...and..."
Leia wrapped her arms around Ben and cradle him in her arms. "I know." She said as her own tears spilled. "I know."
"Sorry." the same young housekeeper had returned with an empty tray in hand.
Ben sprung away from Leia's embrace and turned to face the wall, away from the young girl. He began to clean his face with his sleeve as he tried his best to quietly sniff.
"Ah, sorry, Emma," Leia said as she too wiped her tears, "we're in your way."
"Not to worry, ma'am, I came for more bread. Also, Mistress Rey is asking for you."
"I'll be right in."
Emma turned to leave once more and tried her best not to roam her eyes at Ben.
"I guess Rey can't handle them all. I'll let you be alone."
"No." Ben stated.
Rey was trying her best not to strangle Poe as he tried to persuade her to name the boy after him.
"Listen," Poe argued again, "all I'm saying is if you want the baby to live up to a great name, why not let it be from one of the greatest pilots in the Resistance."
"Because he already has a name." Ben said as he entered the room with Leia by his side. The room went silent and tensed. "Han Oliver Solo."
Rey gently held Ben's hand as he sat next to her on the couch. She turned to face him and noticed a questioning smile coming from Ben. Rey smiled back and without looking at anyone else but Ben, she repeated, "Han Oliver Solo."