-----------Kaitlyn-----------
Valerian was frozen.
He had gone stone still the moment I had said him everything regarding Keith and his condition. His green eyes were surveying me as if he couldn't get a single word I had uttered.
At first, I waited. And waited. But when the shock on his face shifted to dread, I felt my heart sink.
He'd never had a good childhood.
Never had the kind of parents he'd want to be like.
Never had the time to think whether he even wanted a child.
And then I dump this news on him out of nowhere.
"I-I I'm...sorry." The words leave my mouth before I can stop myself.
I didn't have a damn clue why I was apologizing or why I felt like an emotional fool as my lips quivered and the waterworks from earlier started building again with full force.
Everything felt so messy. So out of control that it made me want to bawl my eyes out.
I knew it would've been different if it was someone else but when it came to Valerian, I just couldn't stop myself from pouring my emotions out in front of him without a care in the world about what he'd think. Somewhere deep down, I knew he'd never judge. Never use my tears against me. I. . .trusted him more than I'd ever done anyone and the fact was disturbing.
Something might've sounded wrong in my voice as Valerian's head quipped up and his eyes softened the moment they connected with my teary ones.
Scooting closer, he wiped off the tears one by one before kissing my shut eyelids and then my forehead. Pulling me into an embrace, he held me close.
"You don't have to say sorry to me for anything, Kate." His fingers brushed through my hair, "It's not your fault. I should've been careful."
"I. . .you don't want the bab-"
Before I could complete the sentence, Valerian backs off from the embrace only to lift my face, making me peer straight into his blazing eyes.
"Don't ever think I don't want them. God forbid I want them. So much, it hurts. Anything with you is a treasure for me, Kate. Anything. And they're a part of you and me. It's just that. . ." His face was so close to mine, his voice so soft and broken as he said, "I'm. . .terrified."
The admission has me looking at him in surprise. There on my mate's face was complete anguish which made my heart clench.
"I don't want to allow myself even a moment of giddy happiness because then. . .maybe I won't ever want to let go off it." He whispered so painfully low, it was a wonder I heard it.
Those words made my heart spike with uneasiness. Something about it just didn't seem right.
And sure enough, when I gazed at him. Really looked at him, my breath got caught in my lungs at the pain in those emerald eyes, at the defeat glinting in them. But above all, there was raw determination to give up.
My eyes watered as I realised what exactly he meant, "No." I shook my head vehemently, the tears flowing down my face again, "No, you can't."
Valerian rested his head against mine, brushing his fingers over the planes of my cheek, "It's the only way, Kate."
"No, it's not!" I pulled back to give him a stern look, "We kill him and then no one has to die. Not you, neither the babies."
"Babies?" He quipped his head to the side in wonder totally ignoring the other words, "There are two of them?"
"Yeah, they're supposed to be twins. It runs in the Verakov bloodline." I retort to his confusion before propping his chin up to meet my gaze, "Don't try to dodge what I told you."
Valerian sighed and looked away, "It doesn't work like that. . ."
"What do you mean?"
"Keith has their minds in his control. If he dies without releasing their minds first, then their minds will shatter along with his life. They'll. . ." His voice trailed as his tormented eyes shifted to me.
"Die." I completed, fear gripping my entire soul.
No. No. No.
My hands move on their own accord to my stomach protectively. I won't let any harm fall on them.
Valerian's eyes followed the action and I saw his eyes soften with a heartbreaking intensity as they connected back to mine, "How does it feel to be. . .?"
Surprise gripped me at his curious words. Something about it felt so normal as if we were just another couple awaiting the arrival of our baby. And not deciding their life and death.
Despite the gloomy air that surrounded us, I couldn't help the smile stretching on my lips as he fidgetted around with his hands seeming nervous beyond limit.
"Come here." I gesture him with my finger to step closer.
He looks at me quizzically but obliges anyways. I grab his hand the moment he's close enough and with a gentleness I'd never known before, place his palm over my belly.
Valerian stiffens, not moving an inch as if there was a time bomb on him.
"I can feel them. . ." My smile grows as his wide eyes connect to mine after a long moment of oggling at my stomach with googly eyes.
"They. . . have a heartbeat." He mumbles in shock as if a living creature wasn't supposed to have one before looking down at my belly again, "They have a scent too. . ."
This time, I laugh pulling back as his eyes zero in on my stomach.
"Val, they breathe too." My laugh turns into a full blown fit when he looks at me with a starstruck expression, not minding my teasing him about his little observations even a bit.
In my mind, I couldn't stop gushing over how cute he looked that very moment. His face was contored in complete awe making my insides warm with a tingly soft feeling.
I bring my hand forward to hold his face, "You look too cute right now, my mate." I beam with a wide smile.
I see his cheeks colour at the words and he pulls back his hand from my stomach and tries to hide his face. It makes me laugh even more.
"I saw you blushing." I tease enjoying his flustered state.
You can't blame me. It's a rare sight to see Valerian Kingston blushing afterall.
"I was doing no such thing." He mumbles under his breath making me let out another laugh.
"Liar. Liar. Pants on fire." I sing-song like a toddler. But for the love of god, I didn't mind being kiddish.
Valerian scratches his head avoiding my gaze but when my laughter keeps increasing, he turns to me with narrowed eyes. Although the moment he looks at me chortling like a maniac, those eyes soften considerably.
He scoots down in front of me and tucks away a strand from my face and behind my ear.
"I never want to take away this happiness from you." He says leaning his forehead against mine as his hand flattens over my stomach again, "They make you happy, Kate." His eyes shift to mine, "You have to choose them. Please."
My throat clogs at the desperacy in his voice but when I shake my head, my decision is firm, "You make me happy too. I can't do what you're asking of me."
"You have to." He begs, his head lowering.
"I can't give you up. You're important to me just as much as they are. I can't give up one of you and remain happy after, Val. I can't." My voice grows as soft.
"Why's it always like this?" Valerian lifts his head as his eyes bore into mine and for the first time in my life, I see those green orbs tearing up.
My breath stills as a lone tear slides down his cheek then another until he's crying like a wounded little thing.
"Val." I go speechless as he rests his head on my lap shedding heavy sobs making my heart clench.
"Whenever I think it is going to be okay. That it is going to be better this time, my ill fate always ruins everything." He burries his face in my lap as I feel the wetness of his tears on my clothes, "I always end up risking everyone's life around me. Maybe. . .maybe it's for the best. If I'm no long, everyone remains safe."
My breath stills at his words but despite the agony it brings me, I couldn't stop the anger flowing through my veins. Anger for Keith. Anger for Valerian feeling that way of himself.
"My beautiful foolish creature," I grab his face and force him to look at me, "You have no idea how amazing you are. You have no idea how much people love you. You have no idea how much you matter to them. Eleanor and Marilla, they're hanging on you. You're the string that keeps them going. You don't carry any ill-fate. It's your selflessness that gets you in trouble. And it's other people's jealousy and greed who take advantage of it for their own twisted motives. Don't you dare say you deserve it. What makes you think that way?! It's not your fault! None of this is your fault. And you definitely don't deserve this. It's Keith's fault for being selfish. Don't you ever blame yourself. Because you deserve the world, Valerian. You deserve happiness."
When my gaze settles back on my mate, he is staring at me with such adoration in his teary eyes that it renders me speechless.
A small smile pulls onto his lips as he drops a kiss to the inside of my palm before those green irises snap back to mine, "I love you." He says making my whole form go still.
My mouth hangs open like a fish as he gets up to lean in front of my face.
"I love you, Kate." His face inches closer to mine, "More than I ever thought I could love someone."
And then with the softest carress, his lips touch mine. I shut my eyes, my tears mixing with his as he kissed me with a drugging gentleness.
My heart thrummed in my chest as his fingers entangled in my hair, angling my face. We kissed for what felt like eternity but even then, it didn't seem enough.
Even when he lowered me back on the bed, something in me was breaking. Something in me knew it was the last time we were going to feel each other before it was all going to go downhill.
When he made love to me, we were both weeping silently for the loss that was to come. Because deep down we knew, we knew what was going to happen and it was more painful than anything.
When he moved inside me, I felt my heart shatter as I saw the defeat, the pain, the exhaustion in his eyes. But above all, what broke my heart completely was the love that shimmered so bright, it rendered me numb.
"Tell them their father loved them with every inch of his soul." He kissed my bare stomach before looking into my eyes, "And he was proud to die for them."
And this time, I cried. I cried so hard that it was a miracle my wails didn't reach outside the soundproof room.
That night, we sobbed in each other's arms. None of us consoling the other by giving false words of assurance. Because even if we didn't speak about it, we knew there was no way out of this.
Keith had won without even trying. Maybe things would've been different if the babies weren't involved but at the same time, we could never blame them. Those innocent beings growing inside of me. They truly were treasure.
And as he held me during the whole night, one thing etched into my head in concrete.
I'm going to do whatever I can to get us both out of this. Even if I have to raise hell, so be it.
Because Valerian deserves to be happy for once in his life. And because. . .
I love him too much to let go.
Poor Val and Kate😢
Any guesses on what Kate will do?
I really feel Valerian is being too dumb here but then they both don't have a clue that Keith's going to kill the kids anyways. And they're helpless😢 Only if they knew🤧
The next chapter will reveal the last of Valerian's family secret and the start of the war. I've got a little surprise for y'all which I don't think you'd like. But a writer's gotta write what a writer's gotta write🌚
Rest assured, we all know the book is going to have a happy ending but drama comes first👀