Gunshots are fired heavily. My arms stay wrapped around Alycia, making sure nothing could harm her as my eyes glance to Rovvie who's bent down and slowly making his way over us. I watch him, while trying to listen when I notice blood dripping from Rovvie. My eyes widen and I shake my head from side to side tossing up my hand to him. He stops, our eyes locking.
I clench my jaw and listen carefully still hearing gun fire. However, someone else was firing back. "Y/N?" Rovvie speaks causing me to shake my head at him.
"Someone's on the roof," I whisper shaking my head and pointing my finger up. Rovvie tilts his head to the side and then looks up. I turn my head and glance to Alycia who's looking towards Rovvie. "Alycia, go to Rovvie. Stay low."
"What? What about-"
"Alycia, please," I whisper cutting the girl off. Her eyes lock with mine and she slowly nods her head before I unwrap my arm around her and push her gently towards Rovvie. I reach down into my gun holster that's around my ankle and pull out my pistol. I hold it and watch as Rovvie leads Alycia towards the elevators. I nod and slowly get into the room still hearing the gun fire going off.
I stand up straight once I'm in the room shortly after hearing the gunfire die down. I stop moving completely, clenching my jaw listening closely before footsteps are heard above me walking towards where the balcony lay. I tilt my head and quickly get behind a pillar noticing legs beginning to dangle over to the side of the roof. Once I'm behind the pillar I keep my gun close to me, prepared to shoot if I have to.
Silence fills the room for a brief moment before I hear footsteps approaching me. I close my eyes momentarily, my finger on the trigger ready to step out, but find myself not doing it. I open my eyes and clench my jaw frozen in place. A loud bang echoes through the air as a scream echoes through the room too. The punches stop and I look to the guy's eyes, locking them with my own. His eyes grow wide and he falls to the side. I shake my head and try to force myself to go this time but before I can I hear the elevator doors open and two loud bangs escape. I turn my head towards the elevator and lock eyes with Jax and Rovvie's.
A low sigh of relief escapes my lips as I gently put the gun down, bending over and sliding it into my ankle holster. When I get back up I see Jax is passing by me and Rovvie is walking towards me. I take a couple steps towards him and gently glance over my shoulder to where Jax was. He was bent down searching the guy they had just shot.
I tear my eyes away from that scene and to Rovvie eyeing him seeing his shoulder hit. "You need to go see Ducky for your shoulder," I say, pointing at his shoulder. His eyes glance to it then back to me.
"It's grazed. Nothing too damaged," Rovvie responds and I shake my head from side yo side.
"You would be the one to say that," I say causing Rovvie to chuckle.
"Yeah so would you. Now come on. We gotta talk." Rovvie motions me towards the elevator and I nod. We walk towards the elevator leaving Jax to tend to the body. But when we get to the elevator I get in and Rovvie stands outside. I turn to him and tilt my head. "Meet me in the conference room. Just you, Y/N."
He leans into the elevator and clicks the button for me to go down. I glance to the buttons then back to Rovvie as he gets out and starts walking towards Jax and the body. But as he walks away the doors to the elevator begin closing. I look down to the ground shaking my head.
<<<<>>>>
"Sorry it took so long," Rovvie spoke opening the door and coming in. I pick up my head from the table and lock my eyes with him. He walks in and shuts the door behind him before making his way over. I sit up in my seat and cup my hands together on the table as the guy takes a seat beside me.
"How's your shoulder?" I ask, seeing it was bandaged. Rovvie glances to it and shrugs his shoulders.
"It's fine. Ducky gave me some pain meds," Rovvie responds looking back at me. I nod, gently. "But I think we need to talk about what's going on with you."
"What?" I ask, tilting my head.
"Come on kid. I'm a trained military officer. I'm trained to notice certain things, different behaviors. And I know I'm not one to really talk about this kind of stuff but I'm worried," Rovvie explains switching his eyes back and forth between mine. But I remain silent. "The silent treatment. Something you've always done. But we're not leaving here till you talk to me."
"Rovvie I'm not a kid-"
"You're not, you're right, but you're dealing with a lot of unsaid things right now. You're keeping everything bottled and it's not working. You're putting yourself in a bad situation here Y/N."
"Im not putting myself anywhere. Im dealing with my shit on my own-"
"And that's the problem," Rovvie cuts me off shaking his head. "We all know Daisy was your rock, your person. She's not here and it's tearing you apart. It has been for several months. You have to let us help you. We want to help you."
"Maybe I don't want help!" I raise my voice and push my chair back standing up.
"Y/N-"
"No this is ridiculous! You and Ducky are trying so hard to get something out of me when I'm fine!"
"You're fine?" Rovvie stands keeping his hands planted on the table. "Kid you're not fine. Even Alycia knows that. And yeah you may be smiling and acting fine with her but deep down you're hurting. It's just like on the top floor on the surface. You froze. You couldn't pull that trigger again. That fear, the anxiety crept back into you didn't it? The image of the first person you shot is killing you and I get that."
"You don't-"
"But I do! I was stationed in Afghanistan for several months. You think I wanted to take innocent lives? I had to do what I had to, to make sure myself and my team stayed alive Y/N. That's the same thing you did. You protected not only yourself but Alycia-" Rovvie pauses and I face away from him, crossing my arms over my chest. "But I understand that taking someone's life is hard. It can hurt and it can make you miserable, but with a support system it can get easier. You have to let us help you."
I shake my head from side to side. "I want to see Alycia," I say keeping my back to Rovvie. Silence fills the room before I hear his chair move and footsteps heading to the door. From there I hear the door open and Rovvie whisper something before i hear the door close.
"Y/N?" Alycia's voice speaks out gently. I turn around and my eyes lock with her green ones noticing her arms over her chest. I look past her to Rovvie who stands at the other end of the table, his eyes directly on me.
I bite my lip and tear my eyes away from him knowing he's not going to leave. I shake my head from side to side before feeling Alycia a bit closer to me.
"She's here, Y/N," Rovvie speaks up. "You gotta talk to us."
"I don't get why you're so on me like this Rovvie," I said, looking back at the man. He tilts his head to the side. "You know I deal with things privately-"
"Yeah you do. All of us do! But there comes a time where dealing with something on your own can become more and more damaging and harmful to you without asking for help," Rovvie cuts me off. "You're close with Alycia. I can see it in your body language. Now you can either talk or I can lock you in the cells."
"Cells?" Alycia questions. I glance to the girl seeing her looking to Rovvie then back to me, wide eyed. I shook my head gently towards her before looking to Rovvie.
"I'll talk to Alycia. Alone," I speak, seeing Rovvie cross his arms over his chest. He doesn't move so I take my hands and hold them up like I'm going to be put in handcuffs. "Then take me to the cells."
Rovvie nods and drops his arms from across his chest walking around the table. By the time he gets to me Alycia quickly steps in between me and the guy, facing the guy. "Let me talk to her, Rovvie," Alycia spoke, frantically.
"Alycia step aside," Rovvie said motioning his head for the Australian to move, but she doesn't. She stays put shaking her head.
"Please. Just let me talk to her. Five minutes," Alycia says again. I glance away from the back of the girl's head and drop my arms to my sides. I look to Rovvie seeing him glance to me before slowly nodding.
"Five minutes," Rovvie says looking back to Alycia before turning on his heels and to the door. Once he gets out I tear my eyes from the door and look to find Alycia turning around. Our eyes lock instantly.
"Why'd you do that?" I ask, my voice low allowing my eyes to look back and forth between her eyes.
"Because you were opening up with me earlier plus I'd rather not visit you in a cell," Alycia says causing a small smile to inch onto my lips. "But you know he's right, right?"
I shrug my shoulders. "Maybe nobody's right," I respond taking a step back.
"I know you don't even believe that," Alycia says continuing. "Let me help you like you've helped me for this last year and a half. Like you e helped me repeatedly since I've been here."
"That's different A."
Alycia shakes her head from side to side taking a step towards me. "No, no it's not."
"Alycia it is though. I've saved you because that's just what I do. I help you because you're not trained in the way we are."
"Even if I was you'd still save me," Alycia's voice was low causing me to tilt my head to the side. "Look I don't want to be in your business, but I want you to know that I'm here for you. These people care about you. They're your family and they're just not wanting to see you go off the rails."
"I won't."
"And if you do?"
"I wouldn't put anyone here in danger. Ever. Not even because of my own screw ups."
"But you don't know that, Y/N-" Alycia pauses reaching her hand up, placing it on my arm. I glance down to her hand feeling a gentle yet tight squeeze on my arm. I pick up my head and lock eyes with Alycia's soft ones.
"Let her in," I hear Daisy's voice whisper in my head, over and over. Alycia's eyes gently flick between mine before I close them, clenching my jaw. "Let her help you."
I take a deep breathe and slowly open my eyes, but keep my eyes locked on the ground. "Ducky was worried that I was going back to my old ways. When I was 12 I started self harming in different forms. Some of the things I did, I didn't even know was self harm," I whisper slowly picking up my left arm, looking to it. Out of the corner of my eye I see Alycia glancing down, noticing her hand that was on my upper arm slide down.
She doesn't say anything as her fingers gently trace along the many types of scars. I close my eyes slowly shaking my head. "I stopped when I was 17. That's when Daisy and I got the idea for this place," I breathe out, fluttering my eyes back open. "It helped for a while, but... I knew I shouldn't be doing it. It was only hurting me more afterwards. Yet—I kept doing it and I...I don't even know why."
Silence fills the air as I feel tears slide down my cheeks. Within seconds I feel a hand on my cheek. I move my head up and lock eyes with Alycia's green ones. I reach my other hand up and wrap my fingers gently around her wrist by my cheek.
"You're still here," Alycia whispers. "I don't know what happened in your past and I don't need to know. Not now, not tomorrow, not ever. Unless you want to tell me, but I do know that whatever you've been through has made you stronger than anything. You are strong. You're a fighter. But one thing about now versus back then, you have a lot of people who would go through thick and thin for you. Who would do anything to help you. I know you had Daisy back then, you still have her here..."
Alycia's hand that lingered on my arm reached up and went over my chest where my heart lay. I keep my eyes locked on her eyes though, feeling tears continue to slide down but her thumb rubs back and forth wiping some away.
"You have her there and in your memories. She's not going to go anywhere. None of us are Y/N."
I nod my head up and down slowly removing my hand from the girl's wrist before she drops her hand from my cheek and leans into me, wrapping her arms around me. I close my eyes feeling her hug me tightly, securely. In response I wrap my arms around her hugging her back as silence grows around us.