CW: Insanity
March, 1969
"Maybe she is not coming"
"Of course, she is"
The wind was cold, the night was dark, and it was the full moon. The Lestrange bothers awaited at the Hogwarts entrance. Both seemed to be nervous for breaking the rules. But when it came to Bellatrix, they knew there was nothing they could resist.
After a moment, Rodolphus shook his head.
"You have too much faith in her, brother" he whispered
"And you have too little" Rabastan answered defensively
"I cannot afford to be expelled or punished on my last year..."
"Relax, Rod" Bellatrix interrupted amused "Nobody is getting expelled, I can assure you"
Rodolphus sighed relieved, while his brother smirked.
"I knew you would come, Bella" Rabastan said
"Thank you for trusting me" she chanted
Rodolphus in the other hand, looked worried and disapproving.
Bellatrix knew her bloody destiny already. Her father had repeated it a million times. Bellatrix knew she would have to get married to the boy next to her. That she would have to give him children. Bellatrix knew Rodolphus since they were eleven, and one thing was certain. Rodolphus was boring. He wasn't particularly handsome; he wasn't ugly either. He was plain. Brown chocolate skin, brown dark eyes, black thick hair, skinny and tall. A good follower of rules, spoke only what was necessary. Rabastan was just the same, a little more exciting perhaps. Always agreed with Bellatrix. Bella had to accept being friends with them because she couldn't stand the loud and noisy girls in her dorm. The Lestranges kept her company when Andy and Cissy weren't around. Her sisters were more fun.
Before meeting her unavoidable fate, that was happening in a few months, Bella decided to live a little. To enjoy life before being a wife for the rest of her life. Bellatrix had tried to convince her father otherwise. She had tried everything, pleading, crying, threatening; nothing worked. Bellatrix even gave into some boys in search of 'love', perhaps another rich pureblood could satisfy her father. But until now, Bella hadn't found that 'love' that Cissy was so obsessed about. It didn't exist.
So, Bellatrix had another last solution. Running away. She could convince her parents to let her go on a trip, with her sisters. And from there, she could convince them to come with her. They could be free, they could be happy, in a distant wizard village somewhere...
"Nobody saw you, right?" Rodolphus asked, interrupting Bella's thoughts.
"No..." she smiled
"What about Filch?" Rabastan asked
Bellatrix took some keys of her robes' pockets and showed them to the boys with a smirk on her face.
"Locked up in his office" she said "I used a powerful potion to get him sleep..." she snorted "We just have to avoid the annoying prefects, that's all"
"Nice" Rabastan smirked, almost pissing his pants in excitement
Bellatrix smirked with him, and then turned to look at Rodolphus. Even he smiled.
"Well boys," Bellatrix proclaimed "I guess you're buying my butterbeers tonight"
Bellatrix walked first. She knew very well people looked at her walk, they looked at her body and face. She knew she was beautiful. And she knew The Lestranges were looking at her right now. If only she could use this beauty for something. It didn't seem fair that she was only meant to be Rod's.
********************************************
Bellatrix drank all the butterbeers that she wanted, even if Rodolphus advised her not to. She lost count after the fifth one. And Rabastan, that poor skinny lad was trying to keep up to impress her. Somehow, Bellatrix found herself giggling, laughing at Rabastan's pale face. And laughing about how the boy loved the attention she was giving him. She was trying to have some fun. She was young, she was beautiful. She deserved some fun.
"I want something stronger" she announced as the three of them finally exited The Three Broomsticks into the cold night.
"I think you had enough, Bella" Rodolphus whispered
"Don't be a puss, Rod" she protested
"Yeah don' be a puss..." Rabastan repeated. The boy was pretty drunk. He just turned sixteen and Bella was sure it was his first-time drinking. That made her laugh.
For a reason, Bellatrix decided to put her arms around each of the boys' shoulders.
"I want to have fun..."
Rabastan laughed nervously. He was clearly blushing. Rodolphus just rolled his eyes.
They walked like that in silence for a while. Bellatrix was starting to get dizzy, but it was not the bad kind. It was the good kind, like she could do anything.
Suddenly, Rabastan broke their embrace and ran to the corner to vomit all that he had drunk.
"Bloody hell" Rodolphus whispered
Bellatrix found this really funny and began laughing too loud, making a few dogs around the neighborhood bark.
Rodolphus eyed her expressionless.
"Rab hasn't drink before" he explained
"And you?" she asked
Rodolphus just shrugged "Thankfully I didn't drink much..."
It was definitely the alcohol, but Bellatrix felt the need to kiss Rodolphus for some reason. She approached and closed her lips to his. But he pulled away.
"What are you doing?" he asked
"What?" Bellatrix asked uninterested "We are getting married anyway..."
Rodolphus didn't answer. But he didn't look pleased.
"That stupid magical bonding ceremony this summer" she continued "And then get married when you get back from your trip to Paris"
Bella had been listening and listening to her parents plans for her future over and over again.
"Bella..." Rodolphus tried
She ignored him.
"What are your plans for the summer, Rab?" Bellatrix asked as the pale boy approached
Rabastan looked at them embarrassed.
"Amm..." he rubbed his neck "Oh..." he remembered "We have that meeting with The..."
"Brother..." Rodolphus warned. The younger boy shut up.
But now Bellatrix was interested.
"What?" she looked "A meeting with who?"
"No one Bella" Rodolphus shook his head "It's a secret"
"Well don't I deserve to know?" she asked "As your future wife?"
Rodolphus snorted. Bellatrix was a very curious person, she needed to know everything. She looked at Rodolphus for a while, and then she turned to Rabastan. The weak one. He would tell her.
Bellatrix smiled flirty "You will tell me, won't you Rab?"
Rabastan raised his gaze at her, hopefully. He blushed. Bellatrix kept smiling.
"Rabastan don't you dare" Rodolphus warned "Remember what father said"
Bellatrix rolled her eyes "Don't listen to your stupid brother, Rab" she said "Remember? He is a snob"
Rabastan smiled. This was easy.
"Rabastan..." Rodolphus continued
"What is it Rab?" Bellatrix flirted more.
Rabastan swallowed "We're meeting The Dark Lord this summer"
"Shit..." Rodolphus swore
The Dark Lord? Bellatrix had heard that name before, but where?
"For Merlin's sake Rab!" Rodolphus protested
Rabastan shrugged.
"The Dark Lord?" Bellatrix asked, and then she remembered "Oh... That wizard who is causing trouble to the Ministry? The one who wants mudbloods out of our system?"
Of course, she remembered. It had been all over The Daily Prophet. This man called himself Voldemort. He had a group of followers, death eaters (very sadistic name). He had been gaining popularity in the Wizard Community. For good or for bad. The first time Bellatrix read about him; she felt a sort of curiosity. This man, whoever he was, wasn't afraid of causing trouble, he wasn't afraid of speaking his mind, he wasn't afraid of breaking the rules. For so many years muggleborns and muggles were preached in their community, accepted like they were no different. They were, obviously, Bella knew this. Finally, someone was trying to change things.
"We are not supposed to say anything" Rodolphus said firmly
But Bellatrix ignored him "How did you get a conference with him?" Bellatrix asked Rabastan "How did you meet him?"
Bellatrix wanted to meet him. Perhaps this was an escape for her destined life.
Rabastan was in trance that Bella was touching his arm, that he answered.
"Father's personal friend... He got us the audience"
"Rabastan..." Rodolphus roared
"He is looking for young people..." Rab continued "For his ranks"
"Rabastan, shut up!"
Oh, he was looking for new recruits? This was Bellatrix's chance.
"Great" she smiled "I want to go with you"
Rodolphus finally laughed.
"Thank you, brother, you said enough" he rolled his eyes, Rabastan looked down "And no, Bella. You're not allowed"
"I am not allowed?" she asked
"No" he shook his head
"And why is that?" Bella spatted angrily
"These meetings" Rodolphus explained "They are not for... I mean... Only men assist..."
Only men... Bellatrix was tired of this phrase. She was tired of only being destined to be a mother and wife, only because she was a girl; she didn't want to.
"Rab?" she asked hopefully
"Sorry, Bella" he sounded genuine
"And we will appreciate if you don't tell anyone about this" Rodolphus carried on "This is exclusive... He... He is being haunted by aurors..."
"Our government is pretty shitty at the moment" Rabastan said trying to sound intelligent
"Well I don't give a shit" she pointed crossing her arms, she was sober now. And so much more cheered up that before "You will get take me to this conference with you..." she said looking at the two boys.
"Father would never allow it..." Rabastan explained
"And I told you this is just for men..." Rodolphus said impatiently.
"You will get take me to this conference with you..." Bella repeated as if the boys didn't speak at all "Or I will tell everyone at school your plans for the summer..."
Now they were taken aback.
"But..." Rodolphus started
"You don't want everyone to know you're associating with a rebel" Bellatrix interrupted "Your family prestige is in risk, am I right? That's why your father doesn't want anyone to know"
The Lestrange brothers exchanges glances.
"I see I am right" Bellatrix smiled pleased
"Bollocks" Rodolphus rubbed his hair "See what you have done, Rabastan?" he addressed his brother "You and stupid big mouth"
"Brother..." Rabastan answered "Maybe she could assist. The Dark Lord would want her. She is the most talented witch I know"
Bellatrix smiled pleased. She was very talented indeed. The best of her year, almost head girl but a stupid mudblood Ravenclaw girl bit her up. That old fool of Dumbledore was clearly insane, and that was exactly what was The Dark Lord changing.
"What do you say, dear husband?" Bellatrix asked
Rodolphus took a minute to say anything. He looked in disappointment at his brother for a while, the latter was embarrassed. Bellatrix was bored.
"So?"
Rodolphus sighed "Fine" he said "I'll speak to father. Let's focus on graduating first"
Bellatrix smiled relieved.
"And don't you dare tell anyone" Rodolphus warned "Not your sisters, not your parents, anyone... okay?"
Bellatrix hated following orders from stupid boys. But anyway, if this worked, The Dark Lord would save her, perhaps she won't have to marry Rodolphus at all.
"Promise" she said innocently.
Bellatrix was in a better mood on her way back to the castle. Maybe she could change her fate.
**********************************************************
August, 1969
Bellatrix had been looking forward to his day since Rod and Rab mentioned it months ago. She lied to her parents, saying she was going to spend the evening with her future husband at The Lestrange Manor. They had complied, because according to her father and mother, Bellatrix's only purpose now that she was graduated, was being a wife. She didn't think so. Bellatrix was going to decide her own fate. She had obtained the best marks on her N.E.W.Ts. It seemed a waste not to use them for anything. Perhaps this was her chance to proof she was talented. She was so excited to meet him.
The Lestrange brothers had convinced their father to take her with them. Mr. Lestrange was a very quiet and serene man. Rumor had it that he became a devil when he got angry. Bellatrix was sure his children were afraid of him. He also claimed to had known The Dark Lord in his youth, everybody questioned if this was true.
"Mrs. Black..." he said when they were ready to apparate "I only let you go as Rodolphus' wife. Try not to gain that much attention"
"Father, we are not married yet" Rod protested
Bellatrix wanted to yell to that wizard. To all of them. She was tired of being someone's daughter, someone's wife. But Bella thought better of it, she really wanted to go. And if she made a fuzz now, they were sure going to change their minds.
Bellatrix took Rodolphus' hand instead. He was surprised by this.
"I promise sir" she smiled innocently
Mr. Lestrange nodded "Rodolphus if the girl ruins this, I am blaming you"
The boy lowered his gaze. The younger brother wanted to protest but they didn't let him.
And bam, they apparated.
The room was dark at first. Bellatrix waited until her eyes adjusted to the darkness. They lit up their wands. Bella discovered they were in some kind of abandoned house. The furniture was ruined, there were spider webs everywhere. And the portraits were either fast asleep or completely gone from their places. Bella couldn't avoid coughing from the dust accumulated in the room. Mr. Lestrange put his finger on his mouth for them to be quiet.
Suddenly they heard people apparating. They all raised their wands. Bella could tell Rabastan's hand was trembling. He smiled trying to seem confident. Bellatrix rolled her eyes but she was so happy and excited to be there, that she smiled at him, winking.
Hooded figures appeared from the other room. Bella could tell they were about five of them. They pointed their wands to the group.
"Please..." Mr. Lestrange pleaded, putting himself in front of them. He raised his hands and the hooded figures waited for him to speak. Instead, the man rolled up his sleeve and showed his arm to the others. Bellatrix saw a strange tattoo/ mark on his arm. It was a skull, and a snake was coming out from its mouth. Bellatrix had never seen anything like it, and she had seen many of her family's old and dark objects.
The hooded figures seemed to recognize that mark because they lowered their wands.
"I'm here to present my sons to The Dark Lord..." Mr. Lestrange's voice trembled a little
"Callestan" a voice pronounced. It was not like any male voice Bellatrix had heard. It sounded sophisticated, calm, firm, secure. Bellatrix concluded it was one of those voices people would follow orders from. A voice that could convince anyone from anything "I was waiting for your arrival"
Mr. Lestrange bowed quickly "My Lord..."
Bellatrix had never seen Mr. Lestrange bowed for anyone, be scared of anyone. Bella immediately respected the wizard. She smiled amused.
Eventually, Rodolphus and Rabastan followed their father and bowed as well. Bellatrix was the last to do so.
A figure approached as the others gave him space to walk through. He was wearing the same black robes as the rest, but better. Bellatrix couldn't see his face, because the hood was up. All she could see were his hands. His fingers seemed longer and grace. They were holding his white wand elegantly. He was wearing a ring. A very strange ring. It was golden with a black stone and a weird symbol in the middle.
"Who did you bring?" he asked. His voice sounded almost bored.
"My... my Lord..." Mr. Lestrange said nervously "I heard you were looking for young and new recruits... I brought... I brought my children..."
The Dark Lord didn't say anything. He just played with his wand. Mr. Lestrange decided to continue.
"Amm... This is Rabastan..." he touched the boy's arm "He is the youngest... Good at Transfiguration and charms..."
The Dark wizard continued without answering. He even made a noise with his mouth, completely bored and mocking of the man speaking.
"And... and this is Rodolphus..." Mr. Lestrange continued "Just graduated from Hogwarts, top marks... He is very good..."
"Callistan... and who is she?" the hooded wizard interrupted annoyed; his finger pointed towards Bellatrix.
"Am... well she..."
"Bellatrix Black, sir" she spoke loud and clear, then she made a quick bow "It is an honor to meet you"
There was silence for a minute. Bellatrix maintained a confidence position and smiled. She knew all eyes were on her. But Merlin, who cared, she was accustomed to that.
The Dark Lord took of his hoodie carefully. Bellatrix's breathing stopped by his mere presence.
He had pale skin. His features were marked, cheeks, collarbone, forehead. His eyes were black, pure black but they had a shade of red with the light. His dark hair was combed perfectly above his head. He was handsome. But not the kind of pretty boys, Bellatrix had seen at Hogwarts.
He was like a dark and damaged piece of art. To the naked eye, no one would admit that it was beautiful. But he attracted the eye. And the more and more they saw him, the better they appreciate his beauty. She couldn't take her eyes off him. Bellatrix's eyes were already riveted.
And his eyes were all over her. Bellatrix didn't want to divert the gaze; she didn't need to because she liked being seen by him. She concluded that she would let him stare for hours.
"She is beautiful" The Dark Lord announced to the group, like narrating what he was seeing, even if they were exactly there.
Bellatrix smiled widely at his words.
"She is my son's wife, My Lord..." Mr. Lestrange spoke.
The Dark Lord ignored him. He glanced at Rodolphus, and stated with his eyes that he was too unworthy of Bella. She agreed.
"What are you doing here?" he asked her directly.
Bellatrix pursed her lips, pleased to receive his attention.
"Well, she... she just wanted to keep company to my son..."
The Dark Lord raised his finger.
"I am asking the girl..." he grunted, his eyes were still on Bellatrix. Mr. Lestrange swallowed finally shutting up "What are you doing here?"
Bellatrix raised her chin. She couldn't tell him she was running away from her fate, not in front of The Lestranges. So, she chose the other answer.
"I want to change the world as well..." she dared to say "With you"
There was a dead silence for a while. And after that, The Dark Lord smiled. He smiled. And his smile was even more dark and intimidating. Bella loved it.
He finally laughed. He laughed softly. It wasn't sarcastic, it wasn't comical, it wasn't just a laughter. It expressed so much more.
He approached Bellatrix slowly looking her upside down. Bellatrix didn't dare to change her position. She stayed still.
"How old are you?" he asked
"Eighteen"
"Eighteen..." he nodded "What are you good at?"
Bellatrix smiled "Charms, dueling..."
It was true. Bellatrix had joined the dueling club behind her parents' back. She had a certain pleasure of seeing her opponents on the floor beaten, asking for mercy, or tired to death.
"Prove it..." The Dark Lord said "Duel with me..."
The room was filled with soft murmurs and gaps. Bellatrix looked around.
"SHUT UP!" The Dark Lord spoke and there was silence again "Don't listen to them, nobody has the honor to duel with me"
Bellatrix smiled "I will duel with you, sir. If you teach me how to control people like that"
The Dark Lord laughed again. He didn't answer. He turned around and walked to the other side of the room. All eyes on his steps. He turned around and raised his wand, adopting a position. Bellatrix did the same.
They looked into each other's eyes, for what felt like ages.
The Dark Lord didn't even pronounce the spell, he just flickered his wand. But luckily, Bellatrix had been prepared.
"IMPEDIMENTA" she blocked it.
He smiled, but quickly casted another spell. She blocked it again. Bellatrix decided to target his feet, made them jelly. She tried, but he dodged it. He fired a purple jet of light, and Bellatrix was quick to block it and use it against him. They fired and dodged different spells to each other. Bellatrix noted the graceful way he flicked his wand, the way he held it so naturally. He was an expert. The only reason he hadn't pulverized Bellatrix was because he was playing easy on her. She noticed this, and she hated it. That made her feel more anger and motivated her to use more powerful spells, but again her repertoire wasn't extensive compared to what he knew. Bellatrix was frustrated by this. At the end, she lost concentration and The Dark Lord caught her by a stunning spell. Bellatrix was drowned to the floor. The cold stone hit her back and she moaned.
Rabastan wanted to run towards her but his father stopped him. Rodolphus still seemed too surprised to move. The Dark Lord smiled and rolled his wand on his hand. The group of hooded figures clapped. He approached Bellatrix and offered her his hand. Bellatrix took it. She raised to her feet.
"Not bad, Bellatrix" The Dark Lord spoke amused. But his bored expression was already there. He turned to leave when Bellatrix screamed.
"I would be ten times better if you teach me more spells..."
He stopped and turned to look at her again. He approached carefully. His face got really closed to her. Her body was screaming to give herself some space, but she didn't want to. She looked into those devil-like eyes. She figured some people might be scared of them, but she wasn't.
"I would Bellatrix" he said finally this time in a whisper, because they were too close. Bellatrix could feel his breath "But I don't think you are ready for that kind of magic"
"I am" she responded quickly "I am not afraid to use it.... I am not afraid of doing what is necessary for the cause. I would do anything.... Try me"
The Dark Lord leaned closer. His lips rushed her ear.
"Come to the next meeting... Tell your husband to bring you..." he whispered "Bellatrix, I would trade you for ten of those incompetent wizards..."
Bellatrix smiled to these words. The Dark Lord pulled away.
"Callistan..." he spoke to Mr. Lestrange. The latter jumped "I would be pleased to see your sons in the next meeting..." he said "Only if you bring her..." he smiled to Bellatrix, and her heart jumped in her chest in excitement.
The Dark Lord excited the room. The group of hooded figures after him. Bellatrix was drunk of pleasure and excitement. One thing was for certain. She was so glad for coming. The Dark Lord was the most interesting person she had met, and she wanted to know more.
*********************************************************
Late April, 1998
Bellatrix got so excited every time He required a conference with her. After all these years, the excitement and nervousness were there, still. She loved the way her Master made her feel. And the goal was so close to be achieved. Her Master had managed to domain The Wizarding World, The Ministry of Magic, Hogwarts. There was only one thing missing, kill Potter. That filthy half-blood wasn't a concern to Bellatrix, she could kill him in an instant if she wanted, she could make him suffer. But somehow, The Dark Lord wanted the boy all to himself. And that was making Bellatrix anxious. That stupid boy... He destroyed Her Master once. Those were terrible years for Bellatrix. And perhaps... No. No. No. Bellatrix clinched her nails on her bare arm for thinking such horrible things. No one was more powerful than Him. NO ONE.
The Dark Lord was in The Malfoy's foyer. He was facing the window, the snake Nagini by his feet.
"Good afternoon, Bella"
Bellatrix lowered her gaze submissively.
"My Lord" she chanted, bowing "You requested my presence"
"There's something bothering me, Bella" He continued to face the window.
"My Lord?" she asked, still in a bow.
"Potter..." He said "Potter... Potter... Potter" He chanted now facing Bellatrix. She bowed even more "And his stupid friends... He seems to get out so easily. He seems to be... indestructible"
Bellatrix didn't answer. She couldn't. Not until her Master let her. She kept with her head down.
"Talk to me Bella" Voldemort requested "What do you think? Look at me!"
Bellatrix obeyed. Bella knew he wasn't the handsome man she used to know. But somehow, he looked greater. His presence was better than before, because He had managed the impossible. He had tricked death. He was immortal, indestructible. That made Him Perfect.
"Potter is just a mortal, My Lord" she said "Your great and immense power can destroy him easily"
The Dark Lord didn't even flick. His eyes were wild with ideas and possibilities. Bellatrix had always admired His intelligence.
He began pacing. The snake followed Him everywhere He went.
"LIES!" He yelled, making Bellatrix's head go low. She clinched her nails on her palm until it hurt. She couldn't believe she upset Him. What an idiot.
"The protection from his mother, the twin wands..." He said "He always seems protected. By Dumbledore, by The Order, by his friends..."
"Dumbledore is dead" Bellatrix offered smiling "And we've killed most of The Order members by now"
"YOU DARE TO INTERRUPT ME?" The Dark Lord yelled.
Bellatrix jumped unconsciously.
"My Lord, I'm sorry" she dropped to the floor. She deserved to be at His feet's level. She was an insolent.
Bellatrix could hear the snake's hiss next to her. But she didn't dare move. Even her weak body was trembling.
"Bella..." He pronounced her name with just a tender tone, then Bellatrix relaxed "Standup" he demanded.
Bellatrix immediately obeyed, but she kept her gaze down. Bella felt Voldemort's hand touching her chin gently, forcing her to face Him. Her eyes hesitated but find His slowly. Those penetrating red eyes of His. Even if the shade of red was more profound than before, less human, Bellatrix found them the same as before. They gave Bellatrix confidence, determination, and power. Things that Bellatrix had been looking for a long time.
"I am... scared..." He spoke carefully.
Scared? Those words were forbidden in The Dark Lord's vocabulary. It seemed impossible; His beautiful mouth was pronouncing them at the moment.
"Of losing Nagini..." He continued diverting his gaze "Of losing... you, Bella..."
Bellatrix didn't know what to say. She was genuinely surprised. Bella knew she was important to The Dark Lord, she was the most loyal, the most fervent follower. He trusted her. But this was showing some kind of affection.
"My Lord..." Bellatrix cried overwhelmed. She was emotional, and perhaps happy? "You only have to kill the boy" she dared to comment "And the Wizarding World would be yours..."
"Ours Bella...." He said "Ours"
Then He sighed "I am powerful Bella but I would need your support and talent" He said "You would be my right hand in The Battle, won't you?"
Bella nodded vigorously. She didn't even doubt "Anything for you, My Lord"
Voldemort placed a soft kiss on her forehead. Bellatrix trembled at the touch of His lips.
He broke apart and got back to His usual imponent self.
"YOU MAY GO" he screamed walking towards the window. Nagini hissed at Bellatrix one time before following her Master.
Bella couldn't find a sense of movement at first. Her body was shaking. But she had to move, she had to obey her Master.
"My Lord" she bowed three times just to be sure.
And she excited the room with a big smile on her face and a new desire to destroy Potter all of his friends. She would have so much fun torturing them and killing them, one by one. She owed it to Him. She would do it on His honor.