AN: hello my dudes
I made some changes to this chapter and an ending AN explaining what they are and why for your reading convenience
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"But seriously," Sasha stated. "He said that he only wanted to join track so he could watch her as she runs."
"That's just typical," Jean shook his head.
"Sounds like a douche," Ymir added.
Sasha shivered, "I can't believe I used to like that jerk. But it doesn't matter now," Sasha leaned on Connie's shoulder. "I have a better idiot to look after."
"Hey!"
The bell rang, alerting the friends that they had five minutes before school started. They started to pick up their backpacks and leave the hallway.
However, as they got nearer to the main hallway, they heard shouting.
"Bitch, no!"
"Oh, I am totally right. You must be blind."
"What's going on?" Armin asked.
They turned the corner to see two sophomores shouting at each other with a crowd forming around them.
"The dress is black and blue!"
"It is fucking white and gold!" What is your problem.
What was funnier was that they were both guys. Suddenly another sophomore pushed through the crowd, one that everyone instantly recognized as Levi.
"Erwin, this is not the time!" He scolded.
"Nile is completely blind! The dress is black and blue."
"White and gold!"
"Black and blue!"
"Erwin!"
"Children!" Shouted a teacher. "Get to class."
"Can it be?" Sasha asked dramatically.
"Can what be?" Jean asked.
"It's here," Reiner breathed.
"Please clue me in on this," Jean groaned.
"This is the beginning," Sasha whispered, "Of World War III."
✎➕➖✖➗✐
Armin was in English class with Eren when the bell finally rang. He nearly fell asleep while reading "To Build a Fire," which, had nothing with building a fire, but rather it being extremely cold.
The minute he walked out the door, his head was almost taken off by a flying notebook.
"What the-!"
"Guys, get down!" Connie shouted as he pushed Eren and Armin into a corner. The hallways were way noisier than usual. On top of that, there were projectiles flying across the hallway, most of which were writing utensils and crumbled-up balls of paper. "We are at war. Use your backpacks as a shield. Avoid the 400 hallway. And stay alive, my friends."
"Connie what is this about-?" Eren asked.
"BLUE AND BLACK!"
"GOLD AND WHITE!"
"On second thought," Eren said, "don't answer that question."
Connie patted Eren and Armin's shoulders. "Travel safely." He then put his backpack over his head and ran in a random direction into the mob of students who were shouting and throwing things at each other.
"Eren, this is ridiculous!" Armin shouted.
"I know," he sniffed. "I am too young to die!"
"No! I'm saying it's ridiculous to fight over a dress!" Armin gestured to the chaos unraveling in front of them. Everywhere they looked, there was someone fighting over the dress and forming angry mobs.
Suddenly Jean bursted through an angry mob and collapsed on the floor.
"Jean!" Eren shouted. They quickly ran over to Jean and dragged him to safety.
"I was shot," Jean winced as he held his stomach.
Eren removed his hand to see a serious ketchup stain on his shirt.
"Are you kidding me!" Armin shouted.
"I never saw it coming," Jean coughed. "It hit me right as I ran down the 400 hallway." His voice became quieter. "Eren, Armin. Please, if I don't make it, I need you to tell Marco..."
Eren and Armin leaned in closer.
"That he still owes me $5," Jean stated before he closed his eyes and stuck out his tongue.
"For heaven's sakes!" Armin shouted. "It's ketchup!"
"Alright, Armin," Eren placed his had on Armin's shoulder. "I'm going to have to leave you, buddy. My next class is downstairs. hopefully it's better."
Jean sat up. "Not really. Downstairs is the home turf of the Gold and Silver. I'd avoid them even if you think the dress is white and gold."
"Fuuucck," Eren groaned. "Goodbye Armin." Eren took out his mechanical pencil and loaded it like a gun. He saluted Armin before running down the stairs shouting a battle cry.
"Holy cheeseballs," Armin breathed. He focused on the hallway. If he stayed low and possibly army crawled across the hallway staying on the sides, he could get to his math class. However, to get to math class, he had to pass the 400 hallway.
"Here goes nothing," Armin uttered as he crawled on the ground, avoiding open spaces and crowded areas.
When he finally saw the 400 hallway, he saw what Connie was talking about. It was like a battlefield. Projectile pencils and pens flew across the skies. There was no way anyone can get out without risking all he or she had.
Armin felt a large hand on his shoulder. Immediately he jumped, "THE DRESS IS WHITE AND GOLD! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME-"
The hand covered his mouth. He turned around to see Reiner and Bertolt.
"This is the Blue and Black territory," Bertolt warned.
"So you're trying to cross the deadly 400?" Reiner asked. "I'm trying to get Bertolt there safe and sound to math class."
"Yeah I know. He's in my math class," Armin stated.
"Look, the only way you can cross the death trench is if you run across as quick as you can," Reiner said. "If anyone tells you to stop, keep running and pray you won't get shot. When I say go, run and don't look back. 3..."
"Are we seriously doing this?" Armin asked.
"2..."
"We're doing this, aren't we?" Armin facepalmed.
"1! Go!" Reiner shouted as we sprinted down the hallway, Bertolt and Armin at the front.
Bertolt and Armin made it across at the same time, but they looked back to see Reiner on the floor. "I've been shot!" He shouted while looking dramatically up at Bertolt.
"Reiner!" Bertolt reached out.
"Go without me!" Reiner ordered. "Save yourself."
An upperclassman with a blue and black striped cape stopped beside Reiner. "What is this?" He said while pulling out his phone. "My irrevocable sources, as in Twitter, tells me that you have posted a picture of the dress, saying you thought the dress was white an gold."
"So what?" Reiner gritted his teeth, still holding onto his ketchup wound.
"I'm afraid we cannot have that. I will have to take you," the kid smirked, "to the most dreaded place. We are taking you... to Hanji's laboratory!"
"No!" Bertolt cried. "Let him go!" He shouted at the crazed upperclassman. The kid smirked at Bertolt as Reiner was dragged away by people in stupid-looking blue and black capes.
"NOO!" Bertolt fell to his knees and cried.
Armin rolled his eyes and decided to play along. "SOLDIER. SNAP OUT OF IT!" He shouted.
"B-But Reiner's being taken away to the most dreaded place in the school! He's probably going to be tested on-"
"NO BUTS EXCEPT YOURS UP AND RUNNING," Armin shouted. "YOUR BOYFRIEND THREW HIS LIFE AWAY TO SAVE YOU AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY HIM? YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED!"
Bertolt wiped his eyes and stood up. "You're right! I will carry on for Reiner."
"GOOD!" Armin shouted. "NOW DRY THOSE PUPPY EYES AND RUN, MISERABLE MAGGOT! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!"
"Sir yes sir!" Bertolt stood up straight.
At the same time, Bertolt and Armin made a run for it. Suddenly, Bertolt fell dramatically onto the floor. "My leg! It's been shot!"
Annie stepped out of the crowd, aiming another ketchup packet at Bertolt.
"Why Annie?" Bertolt cried towards the ceiling. "Why art thou forsaken me?"
She stared at him. "You're blind for seeing blue and black."
She opened and threw another ketchup bag at Bertolt, but Armin jumped in front of him, shielding them both with his backpack.
Suddenly, an open ketchup packet splattered across her sweatshirt. She stumbled back to the wall, lightly touching her wound.
Everyone looked up to see Mikasa holding packets of ammunition. She was armed and ready, waiting at the math room doorway.
Slowly, Annie slid down the wall and eventually fell limp.
"She was a good soldier for the wrong cause," Bertolt shook his head. "May her soul rest in peace."
"Alright," Armin helped Bertolt up. "Our room is right there! Move! Move!"
Armin helped the limping Bertolt into the room and past the door frame. Just as they made it across, Bertolt fell to the floor. Mikasa dragged Bertolt into a recovery station in the back of the room.
At this point, Bertolt was breathing heavier.
Mikasa examined the stain. "Petra, I need help!"
Petra walked over to Bertolt and looked at the ketchup. "You have lost a lot of blood, but you won't die. I won't let you. Mikasa! I need a damp towelette now!"
Mikasa took a napkin out of her lunchbox and poured some water into it. She handed it to Petra who carefully wiped away the extra ketchup without making the stain worse.
"Stain remover stick!" Petra called. Mikasa gave her just that.
"This is going to sting, okay?" Mikasa said.
"I swear Bertolt, if you actually shout in pain-" Armin warned.
Bertolt shouted, as if he was in pain.
Armin's fist curled up as he tried to calm himself. It was as if he was warped into a movie, or a weird fanfic of some kind with a terribly written plot.
Finally, Bertolt settled down and the stain was almost completely invisible.
"Alright Bertolt, we treated the stain," Petra stated. "All you need to do is go home and make sure you wash these pants right away, okay?"
Bertolt nodded wearily.
"Congrats," Petra patted Bertolt's shoulder. "You are a survivor of World War III." She looked over as Armin as well. "And Armin, you survived as well."
"For now," Mikasa stated as they all dramatically glanced back at the chaos outside their classroom door.
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AN: ...
That may have been one of the most random things I have written.
AN UPDATE:
Hey guys! So I just remembered this chapter existed. And even though I still find the concept funny, some of the jokes were, um, not as light of a humor as I was going for. Therefore, I decided to edit it so it's less, you know, offensive. I would also like to sincerely apologize to anyone who I may have offended or shocked or caused any other negative emotion. Past me was reckless and stupid (more so than present me so that's saying something) and I would like to apologize for past me. Okay that's all byeessss!!