"God, holy, ow. I said down, back...IZZIE! IZZIE! Incoming!" George yells.
Izzie looks startled and moves to open the bathroom door and George runs in and they both slam the door shut.
Fresh starts. Thanks to the calendar, they happen every year.
Izzie hands George her coffee mug which he accepts gratefully.
Just set your watch to January.
Evi let's out a scream of horror when she opens her room door and gets jumped on by Doc.
"Down! Boy down!" She exclaims as she enters the bathroom slamming the door behind her.
"That dogs a demon." She says looking at George and Izzie. They only make noises of agreement.
"You know I'm thinking about coloring my hair. Maybe red." Izzie says.
"Yeah. Red's good. I'm thinking about cutting mine." George says.
"Maybe I should cut mines." Evi says.
"Yeah? You look good shorter." Izzie compliments the two of them.
George looks a little surprised. "You think?"
"Really?" Evi says.
The trio can now hear Meredith giving the dog compliments and the barking has stopped. They open the door tentatively and peek out.
"What a good dog. Who's mommy's good boy?" Meredith coo's.
They see Meredith patting and shaking the dog's paw. "Silly. Yes, I know. You're a good boy. You're such a good boy." They look absolutely amazed.
"What are you guys doing in there? We're going to be late." Meredith says.
"We need to talk about the dog." Evi says stepping out of the bathroom.
"That's not a dog. It's a hyena, escaped from the zoo dressed in dog clothing." Izzie says.
"Whatever! I don't chew up his clothes. I don't urinate on his bed. I don't try to mount him from behind!" George exclaims.
"People, he's our dog. We love our dog. He loves us." Meredith says. She continues patting and leaves. Doc turns and growls at Izzie, George, and Evi and then lets out a bark.
Izzie speaks apprehensively. "He tries to mount you from behind?"
"Tries to." Doc barks loudly and George whispers. "Tries to."
•.•.•.•
The chief is standing up on some stairs talking to a crowd of interns and doctors that are standing at the base of the stairs. Meredith walks up to the crowd and stands next to Alex and Evi who are also standing there.
"Listen up people. New Year, new rules or should I say New Year and we will be enforcing the rules mandated by the residency review committee. There were too many mistakes made last year." Alex looks down. "Fatigue played too big a role. Exceeding 80 hours per week will not be tolerated."
"Does that mean we actually get to have a life?" George asks.
"I think so." Evi says.
"Sullivan, you were on-call for 28 hours, leave when you hit 30. Grey you were here to 2am last night, see you at noon." Webber says.
"I get to go? Free time?" Meredith asks amazed. "Run before he changes his mind." Alex says. Meredith leaves.
"Oh and people our nurses are gonna have to work extra hours to compensate so treat them well. Cranky nurses don't do us any good." The chief finishes and the crowd disperses.
Izzie, George and Evi walk past Alex. "Well maybe you can cheer them up." Izzie says.
George chuckles and Alex gives her a look. Izzie stops walking and turns around. "You know what? My New Year's resolution was to let it go, and I am. I have...let it go. I apologize." Izzie says. They all start walking down the hallway together.
"You do?" Evi asks looking at Izzie.
Alex smirks at George. "I do. How'd your test go?"
"I feel pretty good about it but I won't know for a few days."
"Well we're all pulling for you."
"We are?" George asks.
"We are." Evi says.
•.•.•.•
Bailey, Alex, Izzie, Evi and George are doing rounds. They enter Denny Duquette's room. He is lying in a hospital bed as a nurse fixes his IV.
"Denny Duquette." Bailey greets.
"Hey Dr. Bailey." He says.
"I hope seeing you here means that they finally found you a heart."
"No offense doctor but I'm not a big fan of hospitals. It takes something pretty special to get me in here."
Bailey turns to Izzie. "What do we know about Mr. Duquette?"
Denny smiles at Izzie. "Capricorn, single, loves to travel and cook."
"Denny be quiet. Let her show off."
Izzie looks down smiling. "Denny Duquette, 36. Admitted today for a heart transplant necessitated by a viral-cardiomyopathy." Izzie presents.
"Hmm and what does that mean?" Bailey asks.
"That his heart is unable to fill and pump blood normally."
"Good. Denny this is Dr. Stevens. She'll be tending to your private surgery."
Denny grins. "So I guess I'll be seeing you around, Dr. Stevens."
Alex looks on less than amused as Izzie smiles back. They leave the room and stand at the nurse's station as Bailey finishes checking on Denny.
"Gotta hand it to the guy, trying to get some action when he's practically a corpse." Alex says.
"Alex, he's just trying to be nice." Izzie says.
Bailey and George walk out of the room and start walking down the hallway. Izzie, Alex, and Evi catch up to them.
"No one enforced an 80 hour work week when I was an intern. 110, 120 hours suited me just fine. I learned more because I worked more." Bailey says.
"Well at least this way you get a rest before you have the baby. I mean being that pregnant, keeping up this pace." George says.
"Are you saying I look tired O'Malley?" Bailey asks.
"No, not tired, no. You look fresh, spry. You glow. What." He looks at his watch. "stop now?"
"O'Malley, go do an intake on Addison Shepherd's patient." Bailey says.
George was still looking at his watch. "Addison." He says before setting off.
"Evi, Karev cover the pit."
Evi nods and heads off.
•.•.•.•
Evi enters Mauer Paskowitz and his fiancé Audrey's room.
"Mr. Paskowitz, we've located the source of your abdominal pain." She points to the x-ray film she's holding. "There. It's called a bezoar."
"Bezoar, huh?" He asks.
"Yeah it's a clump of foreign matter that couldn't be expelled with a pro-kinetic agent." Evi explains.
"I love it. In a hospital a laxative is a pro-kinetic agent."
"So what you just go up his butt and grab it?" Audrey asks.
"Baby, please." Mauer says.
"Actually we won't be able to reach it that way. We will have to get it from here." She points directly at Mr. Paskowitz stomach. "So Mauer, tell me what you've been eating?" Evi asks looking at him.
"Garbage. Absolute garbage." He says.
"Could you be more specific?" Evi asks.
"Tell her what you ate, Mauer." Audrey says.
Mauer just stays silent.
"He's a writer. Suffering for his art." Audrey says. Evi nods. "Okay." She says unsure.
"He ate his novel." Audrey says.
Evi does a double take. "Huh, I'm sorry what?"
"I ate my novel, ok? The whole damn thing. Every last piece of that unmitigated crap."
Audrey just smiles and shakes her head. Evi is left looking amazed.
•.•.•
Evi enters Mauer's patient room with another intern, who is wheeling in a gurney.
"Okay Mauer it's time to return your book to the library. Your surgery is in an hour." Evi says.
"What's up with this flop sweat?" He asked. Evi observes that Mauer is sweating like crazy.
"It's probably just nerves. Try to relax." Evi says a bit unsure.
"But I'm sweating like, like, like Nixon. President Richard Milhous Nixon." Audrey just shakes her head. "That guy could sweat. And I Mauer Paskowitz, I wrote an epic-like crap novel that I sure as shine can sweat like Nixon."
The two other doctor's and Evi start prepping Mauer for his surgery.
"It's not that even bad of a book. I read practically every draft." Audrey says.
"Forgive me honey but you are not exactly Lionel Trilling. It blows." Mauer says.
"Lionel Trilling?" Evi asks confused.
"He seeks the approval of dead literary critics. The dead don't read Mauer." Audrey informs.
"You think of being something other than a writer?" Evi asks Mauer.
"No. I am a writer. Mauer Paskowitz! I have no plan B."
"We can't get married for three years until the damn book is done. Three years I listened to him piss and moan! For what? So he can eat the thing." Audrey says.
"Ha!"
They move Mauer onto the gurney.
"The computer have a delete button, yes?" Evi asks.
"I wanted to literally put it behind me and start a new book."
"Okay, we all get the symbolism. It's painfully obvious." Audrey says.
"And obviously painful." Evi mumbles. They
wheel Mauer out of the room.
"My mouth feels all weird." Mauer says as they walk through the halls.
"Chewing paper will have that effect lover." Audrey said sarcastically.
"Weird how?" Evi asks.
"Pins and needles. No needles and pins. Needles and pins. Yeah, yeah. Sprouting from my fingers and toes like, like, like ... lord god give me a simile." Mauer describes the feeling to Evi.
"The man ate a novel, he's not exactly normal. But he got weirder the more he ate. He's like obsessed." Audrey says.
They stop as they meet the Chief. Evi hands Webber the chart.
"Mr. Paskowitz, I'm Dr. Webber. I'm going to be performing your surgery today."
They all wheel Mauer into the elevator.
"I poured my heart and soul into that freaking book and now it's stuck up my ass! Put that on my tombstone Audrey! On my tombstone!" Mauer says.
•.•.•.•
"See the little white line of Toldt. Now we can mobilize the lateral border of the left colon. Clamp." He gets a clamp. "When Leo Tolstoy here wakes up, you might get him to revisit the idea of a new vocation." Webber says as they are in the OR operating on Mauer.
"He was pretty against the idea." Evi says.
"Yeah well hopefully it was just delirium." Webber says.
"If it's alright, I'd like to keep an extra eye on him post-op. He's acting pretty strange." Evi says.
"He ate a novel. Clearly he's pretty strange."
"Yeah you know I just don't want to overlook anything."
"Seriously Jensen I'm short-handed all over the hospital. ... Ok here we go." He reaches in and pulls out the clump of blood paper that is Mauer's novel. He holds it up for everybody to see. "Anybody here tempted to read this? ... No takers? Could be the great American novel we'll never know." He puts the clump in a dish to the side. "He needs a plan B."
"Yeah he does." Evi says.
•.•.•
Evi walks into the Post-op ward where Mauer lies in one of the many beds. Evi walks up to him when she sees Mauer is trying to climb out of the bed.
"Mauer-Mauer lay back down. You just had surgery." Evi says.
"Much obliged, brock, brock. Much obliged, pal." He says making Evi crinkle her eyes.
Evi checks Mauer's pupils. "How do you feel?" She asks.
"What's whacked for 20? Weeds, whack, weeds, whack for 200."
Evi looks on concerned.
•.•.•
"What are you doing?" The chief asks walking up to Evi at the nurses station.
"Research on the bezoar patient." Evi says looking at the paper she was holding.
"I told you I needed you on the floor." He says.
"He has fever, sweats, tingling in his lips, fingers, toes, mood swings and a lack of co-ordination. And did I mention the crazy talk?" Evi says.
"Your point?"
"My point is, he ate his novel."
"I know."
"Mercury's in the paper. He's got mercury poisoning." Evi says. Webber looks a little surprised.
•.•.•.•
Mauer is lying in his own post-op room with Evi checking on him.
"Lying here trapped in this flesh prison I've reached a grim conclusion. I'm a failure." Mauer says turning to Evi. "You know how that feels?"
"Erm," Evi says not sure how to answer.
"Even my manic attempt to put my failed novel behind me failed. Time for a plan B, I reckon. Time, indeed. Perhaps I shall play the cello."
"We make a mistake here and people die. It happens all the time." Evi says.
"All the time?"
"There's a lot."
"This is part of the hallucination, right?"
"My point is we all have set-backs Mauer. But I'm a doctor and you're a writer. We don't have a plan B." Webber and Audrey walk into the room. Audrey walks up to Mauer's bedside.
"Call Security!" Mauer jokes. Audrey just takes his hand and smiles at him.
"Have you determined a course of treatment for the mercury poisoning, Dr. Jensen?" Webber asks Evi.
"Yeah the patient has been administered a chelator called British Anti Leukocyte which will absorb the mercury over the next several days." Evi says to the chief.
"Good work doctor." He says before walking out of the room.
•.•.•
Izzie, George and Evi are sitting on the floor sharing a pizza. Doc is heard by the three barking loudly. They can also hear Meredith yelling at the dog about her laundry.
Meredith opens up the bathroom door. "You don't eat laundry. Bad dog! Bad dog! Bad!" She yells at him. She closes the door with arms filled with laundry.
it's also important to remember that amid all the crap are a few things really worth holding on to.
Meredith throws down her laundry and sits next to George who opens up the pizza box for her. Izzie resumes reading her magazine. Evi turns back to reading her book and Meredith takes a slice of pizza and starts eating it.
•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•