Charlie's POV
"Well that went better than expected" Austin said, a nervous tone to his voice as he quickly rubbed at the back of his neck before bringing his hand down to clasp tightly around mine. His reaction to how things went with Ashlen making me nervous. It was almost as if he knew there was more to come but was afraid to break the news to me after everything went in a much different direction than I had anticipated.
"Yeah I guess you can say that" I said with a laugh, wanting desperately to end it there but as always my mouth moved faster than my mind and the words just slid from them without stopping. "But you seem nervous still Aus, what's up?" I asked, catching his eyes drifting up to the rear view mirror, lingering there a little longer than anticipated before they came back to settle on me.
"I don't know, I just feel like this went too well for her. She gave in too easily and that makes me nervous" he said, his eyes dancing over my face as he squeezed my hand tightly.
"Do you want to go back in there? It isn't too late to still go to the appointment. We can still go through with everything and get the test results to settle our minds and then move on to our appointment" I said to him, throwing out every possibility that existed before we both drove out of the parking lot wishing that we made a certain decision and never being able to rewind time to do it again.
He took a moment to think the answer over, the hesitation in everything making a small wave of uneasiness float through my body. Was he contemplating everything because he was afraid there was a chance that it could be his? Ashlen admitted to me that he didn't sleep with her the night that he came back from Dallas so there was no chance, but was it possible that he slept with her before that? I felt my breathing starting to become more labored the longer it took for him to answer me, the world around me becoming fuzzy as I was sure I was going to faint when he finally answered me.
"No, I just want to go and put this all behind us. We have more important things to worry about now, like making sure everything is going well with this little nugget" he said with a smile, his hand coming to rest lovingly on my stomach as he moved his thumb slowly over the fabric of my shirt.
"Okay baby, but since we have extra time, can we go and get something to eat? I am starving" I laughed, my head resting back against the headrest as I looked up at the blue sky, enjoying the feel of the sun soaking over my face before I brought it back down to look at him.
"And what are you and the baby hungry for Charlotte?" he asked with a laugh, his right hand coming up to cup my chin as he waited for me to answer him.
"Uhm" I said with a giggle, surprised that the same exact thing I was craving when I was pregnant with Austy was the same exact thing that I was craving now. "A BLT wrap, not a sandwich it has to be a wrap, with extra mayo. Oh and sweet potato fries and lots of them with a pepsi" I said with a laugh ending it with a long mmmmm making him break out into a fit of laughter.
"Okay baby, we will go find someplace that will get you exactly that so that you and the baby are adequately fed" he smiled, leaning in and placing a delicate sweet kiss on my plump lips before pulling the Lincoln out of the parking spot and heading towards the road. One horrible chapter of our life hopefully coming to a close as we started on the beautiful adventure of the next.
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"Oh my God this is heaven" I said, sinking my teeth into the BLT wrap, the bacon crunching between my teeth as I closed my eyes to savor the flavor before swallowing it quickly followed by a long chug on the Pepsi that sat in front of me.
"I must say" Austin laughed as he too took a bite of his burger, "I don't think I've ever seen you so into your food before Charlotte" his words making my eyes roll as I took another sip of my Pepsi, seeming to not be able to get enough of the cold, carbonated substance into my body. You would think that I would've learned from being pregnant with Austy that Pepsi always induced horrible heartburn on me, but when one is craving something it is just better to give in then to live without it, something I quickly realized when I was pregnant with our son.
"Then you should be lucky that you missed seeing me pregnant with Austy. I ate my parents out of house and home. I swear that I had to have gained about 20lbs. I was eating every chance that I got" I laughed, my eyes finally meeting his to see that they were filled with sadness instead of amusement, my tone immediately changing as I tilted my head to look at him. "Baby?" I asked, reaching my hand out to grab his as I filled the spaces between his fingers with my own.
"I'm not lucky that I missed seeing you pregnant with Austy Char. I wish I was there for every minute to see you at your worst and at your best, to be there for you through everything. I missed out on so much of his life Charlotte and that is something that I don't intend to happen with this baby" he said, his words making tears flood my eyes as I reached over the table and gave him a soft kiss.
"I love you Austin" I said with a smile as I fell back into my seat.
"I love you too Charlotte" he said back to me, his hand squeezing mine gently just as his cell started to vibrate loudly on the table next to him, my heart beating quickly as I had immediately assumed that it was Ashlen calling to cause trouble only to see his manager Dre's name appear on the screen. "Hold on baby girl, I'll be right back okay?" he said leaning in to give me a quick kiss before walking out of the doors to the diner.
I worked on finishing my wrap as I waited for him to finish up his conversation with his manager, my thoughts starting to wander as they lingered for quite some time on the fact that things were going very well for us ever since we found out that we were having another baby. We weren't fighting—if anything we were laughing more than anything—things with his ex went exceptionally well although the fact that they did still made me extremely nervous. Try as hard as I could, I couldn't shake the fact that Ash still had something up her sleeve. But I couldn't think of that today, I just wanted to focus my attention on the time that I had with Austin and going to the doctors to finally see a glimpse of our little nugget.
The moment was going to be something so special for Austin and I couldn't wait to see his face light up when the doctor let us hear his or her heartbeat for the first time, when he saw the tiny flicker of what could closely be compared to the flicker of a flame and just see the life that the both of us had created starting to grow within me. A tiny laugh came to my face as I seriously contemplated capturing the moment on my phone, knowing that it would be something that he would like to look back on later. Something I wished I could've done for him when I was with Austy but loving the fact that we were given a second chance to have that happen now.
I finished off my wrap in what one would assume to be a rather hasty fashion, every bit being just as delicious to me now as it was four years ago. The kind waitress came over asking if I wanted a refill on my Pepsi which I took with open arms, as I sat back in my chair to text my parents to see how things were going back in New York, every part of me wanting to spill the beans to them in an effort to make the announcement go over better when we talked with our parents later, begging them to pretend that when they heard the news for the second time to act surprised so they wouldn't ruin it for Austin.
But, in the end I decided that I couldn't do that to him. He was too excited about all of this to take away any emotion from him, whether good or bad, and I wanted him to experience all of it and go through it all together, so with a heavily bitten tongue I carried on a conversation as if life was normal and there was nothing brewing on the horizon.
Austin came walking back into the diner almost fifteen minutes later, the conversation with my parents long done and my food long gone as I patiently waited for him to come back to finish his lunch. His demeanor seemed to have changed drastically since he left, the happy guy who was just about to go see his baby for the very first time seeming to have left on a vacation, replaced with someone who seemed to be nervous and on edge almost as if he was hiding something from me.
"You okay baby?" I asked him with a warm smile, my hand reaching out to grab his as I ran my thumb over the top of his hand, trying my best to not lead on that I knew something was bothering him.
"Yeah baby girl it's great" he said with a fake smile that I have grown to know over the years, his hand grabbing onto mine as he picked up his burger and took a bite before looking over his shoulder. "Is the waitress around? I think we should get our check" he said, letting go of my hand as he scratched nervously at his neck.
"Uh yeah she was just over here a few minutes ago. Austin what's wrong? I know you well enough to know that something is bothering you and you aren't the same person you were when you walked out of the door" I said to him, my arms coming to cross against my chest as I sat back in my chair.
He looked at me for a moment before he put his head down, his hands lacing behind it letting me know immediately that what he was about to say was not going to sit well with me, but also let me know that I didn't have a choice but to go along with it.
"Austin" I said again, this time in more of a stern voice than before, just wishing he would get on with the bad news instead of letting it simmer in the air between us.
"Dre needs me at the studio Charlotte" he said in a mumbled voice, the sound reverberating off of the table as it soared to my ears, my mind not quite registering the information that he told me fully as I shook my head in disbelief and what just escaped from his mouth.
"Say that again" I laughed, half hoping that he was just fibbing or that I had mistaken what he said to me. Hoping for the last over the first as I patiently waited for him to repeat himself.
"Baby girl I'm so sorry. I tried the best I could to tell him that I had to be with you until after your appointment but he didn't want to listen to me. He told me that Quavo was coming to record Congratulations and he only had today for a few hours and if I want it on the album I need to be there" he said, his face hanging with so much confusion but despite the look that he was giving me, it wasn't enough to cover up the sadness and anger I was feeling towards him for not trying harder to be there.
"Did you Austin, or is it just because it's me? I guarantee if it was Ashlen he would've parted the red sea so that you could go to the appointment with her" I said a little louder than I needed too.
"Charlotte you know that isn't the truth" he said nervously looking around the small diner to see if anyone caught on to the argument that was brewing between the both of us.
"No Austin I don't know that's the truth. I mean what am I supposed to believe when you call me and tell me that Dre brought Ash to the club and was so excited that she was pregnant with what she had convinced everyone to be your kid" I said starting to lean over the table to get closer to him.
"He just" he started, but I didn't give him a chance to finish.
"He just what, wants to micromanage every part of you from your career right down to who he thinks is suitable for you to date. I wouldn't be surprised if he talked you into telling me to get an abortion next" I said getting out of my seat as I grabbed for my wallet and threw a fifty dollar bill down on the table, knowing that it was far too much for what we ate, but not wanting to wait any longer for the waitress as I stormed out of the diner.
I pulled my phone out with a shaking hand, quickly tapping on the Uber app noticing that my appointment with the doctor Austin had set up for me was in twenty minutes and we were at least ten minutes away without traffic.
"Charlotte stop please what are you doing?" he asked reaching out for me with a shaking head as he grabbed it limply in his.
"You have important things that you need to do Austin and I have important things that I need to do, like check and be sure the baby is doing well" I said, struggling to hold back the tears as I broke free from his grasp, the sad look taking over his face only making my emotions go on a rollercoaster ride through hell.
"Charlotte stop, you know I want to be there with you, I want to be there more than anything, but" he said my head shaking quickly as I held my hand out to stop him from talking, not wanting to hear anything else that he had to say to me.
"No Austin, if you wanted to be there more than anything you would be getting in the car to take me to the appointment instead of getting in the car to go to the studio, so I think you really need to stop and think just how much this means to you" I said, my eye catching the black Chevy Malibu pull up to the curb as I started to walk towards it.
"Charlotte baby please" he said reaching out to grab for my hand that I tore away from him placing it on the door handle.
"Bye Austin, hope recording goes well. I'll see you home for dinner, unless Dre has something else for you to do" I said with a sad smile as I say myself into the backseat and pulled off towards the doctor, a small tear falling out of my eye as I started to question if maybe Ashlen was right, maybe I didn't belong here.
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"Charlotte Roman"
I picked my head up from the magazine I was holding, placing it down on the table next to me as I started to walk for the smiling brunette nurse who appeared to be pregnant herself.
"Hi honey, third door on the right" she said with a smile as I walked passed her heading straight for the room, emotion starting to build inside of me as I desperately wanted Austin to be walking next to me.
She took my weight and all of the other necessary things before politely telling me that the doctor would be right in to see me. I flashed her a polite smile accompanied with a head nod as she walked out of the door, pulling it closed with a small click behind her.
I pulled out my cellphone to see several texts from Austin, each one apologizing to me for not being there and begging to know how the appointment was going and to forgive him for everything that happened that this wasn't how he wanted this to start out. I quickly responded with a fine thanks for asking text before I heard a knock at the door. I hurriedly put my phone back in my pocket as I waited for the doctor.
"Are we waiting for Dad to come?" he asked, as he grabbed the bottle of ultrasound gel pausing momentarily as he waited for my answer.
"Oh uhm no, something came up so he's going to miss this one" I said struggling to hold back the tears.
"That's a shame, the first is always the best" he said giving me a shy smile as he spread the thick gel on my stomach, my attention turning towards the screen as I saw the tiny flicker of light that was my precious angel, his or her heartbeat beating quickly as tears started to pour out of my eyes.
"You okay?" he asked with a smile, pulling the wand off of my stomach and quickly wiping away at the gel that resided there.
"Yeah" I laughed wiping at my tears. "I'm just happy that's all" I said, holding back the real reason I was crying was that everything that was happening was starting to closely relate to what I went through with Austy and I wasn't sure if I was ready to handle another pregnancy alone, even though Austin was right next to me.
"Okay, well here these are for you" he said with a smile, handing me an envelope of pregnancy photos. "The baby is very healthy and strong. You are about a month along and I would say that you should be expecting your baby around March" he smiled.
"Thank you so much" I said as I got myself up from the table and headed out towards the window to schedule my next appointment, not even bothering to call Austin to see if he was free with the thought engraved in my head that something was going to come up anyway where he wouldn't make it and to be honest if that happened again, I don't even know if I would be here to schedule another appointment.
I walked out of the door to the office, waiting on the corner for the Uber to drop me off at my home, an overwhelming sadness filling me that I wasn't able to share this with anyone. With a sigh, I pulled out my phone doing exactly what I had talked myself out of earlier. I took a picture of the ultrasound strip and attached it to a message.
Hi Grandma, Grandpa, Nana and Pop! I can't wait to meet you in March. Love, your new grand baby.
I let out a sigh as I put my phone in my purse knowing that I went against Austin's wishes of telling them all together, figuring something would come up where he would need to back out of that too. My mind wandering as I couldn't stop thinking about just how alone I may be through this whole process and if it was something I wanted to go through again.
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A/N: Things never seem to go good for these two long enough. Was Charlie right doing what she was doing or should she be more understanding? Are they going to last? As always thanks for reading, liking snd commenting.
~Updates~
tonight: Drinking Alone
6-20-2021: I Know You're Scared of the Unknown