─── ✧ ✦ ✧ ───
IKON
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Junhoe: You fail to make me smile! Love you, Byulie!
Eunbyul: Oppa, did you forget the word 'never', or is this a hate message?
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Donghyuk: I only feel one emotion, and it's rage.
Eunbyul: Last night, you texted me a thousand heart emojis.
Donghyuk: I only feel one emotion, and it's rage, but never towards you.
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Hanbin: *texting Eunbyul at 3am* Our names are just random noises we were raised to respond to.
Eunbyul: *crying in her room* No, oppa. Not now. Let me sleep, please.
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Jinhwan: I'd like to be ten times hotter than I am now.
Eunbyul: But zero into ten will give you zero, oppa.
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Bobby: Who's there?
Eunbyul: Bobby –
Bobby: I am Bobby, you fucking liar!
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[Chanwoo teaching Eunbyul how to drive]
Eunbyul: I am a confident driver.
Chanwoo: You almost ran over Yunhyeong-hyung. You could've caused an accident.
Eunbyul: Oh, no. That would be no accident.
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Yunhyeong: Truth or dare?
Eunbyul: Truth.
Yunhyeong: Do you love me?
Eunbyul: Dare.
Yunhyeong: I dare you to say that you love me.
Eunbyul: Never have I ever.
─── ✧ ✦ ✧ ───
BLACKPINK
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[Eunbyul and Jisoo looking at the fire they caused while trying to make ramen]
Jisoo: This is bad.
Eunbyul: You said that already, eonni.
Jisoo: It seemed worth repeating.
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The dude in the church: Let us offer a sign of peace.
Rose: Peace be with you.
Eunbyul: Please be with me.
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Lisa: Would you slap any of us for a million dollars?
Jennie: I would drop kick all of you into the sun for free.
Eunbyul: Wait, what?
Jennie: Not you, babe, you are an absolute angel and I would never hurt you.
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Eunbyul: *eating a cinnamon roll*
Lisa: Cannibalism
Eunbyul: *innocent, confused chewing noises*
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Jennie: Did you two eat all the powdered donuts?
Rosé: *mouth full of powder* No
Jennie: Then what's that white stuff on your jeans?
Eunbyul: *without missing a beat* Cocaine
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NCT DREAM
─── ✧ ✦ ✧ ───
Jaemin: *cups Eunbyul's face with his hands*
Jaemin: You're cute. You're so cute, you have to be protected no matter what it costs.
Eunbyul: You know you have other younger members who you can baby, right?
Jaemin: You. You are the baby. You are my baby.
Eunbyul: ...
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Eunbyul: Manga lied to me. I never see bad boy types protecting stray puppies, revealing to me their soft side.
Eunbyul: It's always me picking up the puppies.
Eunbyul: Maybe I'm the bad boy.
Jeno: Well, that's just cause – wait, did you just say you were picking up stray puppies?
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Chenle: Why should I help you?
Eunbyul: Because we are friends.
Chenle: Then when is my birthday?
Eunbyul: That is not fair. When is my birthday?
Chenle: I don't know. You are not my friend, how am I supposed to know?
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Haechan, excitedly: Byulie, who's baby are you?
Eunbyul, in a bored monotone: Jaeminie-oppa's and Haechannie-oppa's, of course.
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Eunbyul: What if I pour coffee in my cereal instead of milk?
Jisung: *grabbing the coffee pot as he passes*
Jisung: What if you don't?
Jaemin: No, no. I think she has a good idea.
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Eunbyul: Let us sup!
Mark: What's sup?
Eunbyul: Nothing much, what's with you?
Mark: Woah, that's smart, dude.
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Renjun: Out of all the people in this world, I dislike you the least.
Eunbyul: You should write poetry.
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SECRET NUMBER
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Lea: *fighting with Eunbyul* No, don't apologise. I hate you.
Eunbyul: Well, I hate you too.
Lea: *already crying* You what?
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Denise: Do you guys think I could fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?
Dita: You are a hazard to society.
Eunbyul: And a coward. Do 20.
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[Eunbyul + SECRET NUMBER Group Chat]
Eunbyul: Do you know why dark is spelt with a 'k' and not a 'c'?
Soodam: Why?
Eunbyul: Because you can't 'c' in the dark
Denise: GIRL–
[Jinny has removed Eunbyul from the group chat]
Jinny: No one add her ever again.
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Eunbyul: The doctor says I am lacking Vitamin U.
Dita: What?! How?!
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Soodam: Can you get that for me?
Eunbyul: So, you do need me in your life after all, huh?
Soodam: I can and will replace you with a step stool.
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P1HARMONY
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Intak: At my age, do you know how I'm statistically most likely to die?
Eunbyul: At the hands of your friend.
Intak: No, the answer is an accident.
Eunbyul: Well, that's what I'm going to make it look like.
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Soul: Are you on drugs, Hoshi?
Eunbyul: No, why?
Soul: Boo! You won't have any cool stories to tell when you are older.
Eunbyul: STOP TELLING ME TO DO DRUGS, SHOTA!
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Keeho: *clinking glasses of water with Eunbyul*
Keeho: Shout out to water for keeping my throat sufficiently lubricated for optimal yodeling techniques.
Theo: *pulling away Eunbyul from Keeho* Yeah, okay, from now on, you are staying 20 feet away from Byul.
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Eunbyul: Wait, you like me? For my personality?
|Theo: I know. I was surprised too.
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Jiung, groaning: Today is shit.
Eunbyul, cheerful: Morning, it's a lovely day, isn't it?
Jiung, also cheerful: Yes, lovely day indeed.
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Eunbyul: What would happen if I die?
Jongseob: You would have a funeral.
Eunbyul: No, I mean, what would you do?
Jongseob: I would probably ... go to the ... funeral?
─── ✧ ✦ ✧ ───
ENHYPEN
─── ✧ ✦ ✧ ───
Jungwon: What do you crave more than anything else?
Heeseung: Stability.
Jay: Peace of mind.
Jake & Eunbyul: Right now ...chocolate chip pancakes.
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Niki, opening a bottle of chocolate syrup: Guess I'll drink my sorrows away.
Eunbyul, adding whipped cream to her mouth: I don't really like you, but cheers to that, bro.
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Sunghoon: Look, you seem very nice.
Eunbyul: Thank you.
Sunghoon: I have no room in my life for people like that.
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Eunbyul: I did something bad.
Jay: Does it affect me?
Eunbyul: No.
Jay: Then continue suffering in silence.
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Heeseung: Alright, listen up you little shits.
Eunbyul: Yes?
Heeseung: Not you, Eunbyul. You are an angel, and we are thrilled to have you here.
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Sunoo: I can't come. Stress is bad for the baby.
Eunbyul: What baby?
Sunoo: Me, I am baby.
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Junghwan: Why has Jungwon-hyung been lying on the floor for twenty minutes?
Niki: Don't worry, he's just a little overwhelmed.
Junghwan: Why?
Niki: Hoshi laughed when he made a joke.
─── ✧ ✦ ✧ ───
a/n: just a little smth until i speedily try to finish up the two t-map episode chapters!